Girls friends are a major cause of issues in dating/relationships

[Datinglife26]

Been thinking about this a little lately.

I was on a hike with my FWB (outdoor fun in the sun) and she was telling me how her girls friends keep asking her about who she is "dating" (me). Her comment back to me is that she wishes they would stop asking because once her friends get information back about how often I reach out to her, and what I do and say, they immediately start advising her to pull back and play games. Thankfully this girl is not a follower so she pointed out that most of the time that girls get into problems its because they have listened to their friends ideas of what they should expect from a guy.

Have come across a girls friends who were bitchy to me to start, without even knowing me it really has highlighted that lots of women lack the mental toughness to be able to think for themselves without bending to peer pressure.

It has happened to me in the past and only with highlight you realise that a lot of the time, their friends are giving them the worst advice for dealing with a man who is willing to walk away and who has option.

All in all, its probably for the best but really can make dating hard when you are interested in finding someone direct and mature.
Too man girls, not enough women.

 

[xplt]

The girlfriends of one of my exes played a huge part in the downfall of our relationship.
The drama was like a happening to them. Not very surprising, the two who were talking the most bull**** were both in unhappy relationships.

Often they will sabotage each other, too. I've seen it many times.

 

[Bingo-Player]

the two who were talking the most bull**** were both in unhappy relationships.

Often they will sabotage each other, too. I've seen it many times.

Yep absolutely lethal .....it helps a bit if you can avoid them on social media and just generally keep a low profile

i dont get these guys that go head first into plates / girlfriends social circles just seems like asking for trouble

 

[SargeMaximus]

The girlfriends of one of my exes played a huge part in the downfall of our relationship.
The drama was like a happening to them. Not very surprising, the two who were talking the most bull**** were both in unhappy relationships.

Often they will sabotage each other, too. I've seen it many times.

I suspect my ex also got coerced into sabotaging our relationship thanks to a certain fat and “damned” (I say that because the amount of bad luck and medical problems she had was at curse levels). But it was a lot of things. Still, it’s unfortunate.

I totally called it out one time too I said to the ex “your friend doesn’t like me very much”

 

[Young OG]

Very true. My last gf that I was with on and off for almost 3 years. Towards the end, she started hanging out with a new group of friends. They put ideas in her head about me and she also changed alot too because of them. Things were never the same and it was finally the end for us. Women alot of times depend on other peoples input when making decisions.

 

[SargeMaximus]

The real issue here is if your chick is listening to her fat friends, and taking guidance from them, over you...then that's already a fvcked situation.

Like.....what next? B1tch tells you that her cat doesn't like you?

I don't mean this to be directed at you specifically - but once your LTR starts taking guidance and influence from outside the relationship then you gotta be steps ahead and kick that b1tch out because, if you don't, she'll cut your nuts off and laugh at your tears.

We broke up. Obviously

 

[ThisIsSparta]

One $ for each time i got "THE LOOK" from a womans girl friend......

 

[Datinglife26]

Very true. My last gf that I was with on and off for almost 3 years. Towards the end, she started hanging out with a new group of friends. They put ideas in her head about me and she also changed alot too because of them. Things were never the same and it was finally the end for us. Women alot of times depend on other peoples input when making decisions.

Yeah dude, this girl I went on two dates with suddenly pulled back when I invited her to my place for our 3rd date.
Out of the blue she has this idea that I only wanted to us her for sex. And that after a couple of months I'd leave her hurt lol

So she cancels without offering another time to reschedule. I drop back, after 10 days I reach out try to set up another date but she just tells me she isn't free no word of another time. So I stop asking like I was advised on here to leave the ball in her court.

10 weeks later and suddenly it comes to light, her friends see me at a party "oh so you are Datinglife26" haha I ignored the bitchy comments and she gets mad and brings me upstairs to a bedroom.

And now she is sober is disappearing again.

Definitely listening to her friends.

 

[xplt]

I don't think friends necessarily completely cause the downfall. What they do is they exploit any weaknesses in the relationship. So, if you and your LTR have a fight (like, a normal couple's fight), then her friends are waiting in the wings for a Girl's Night Out.

It just makes it very easy for her to move on because she has this support network of chicks who are fooling her into thinking single life is awesome and she don't need no man. Women actually hate being single.

Right, the downfall had already begun, but they kept pushing her with "advice" and their opinions - without knowing the story of the other side. But really, I should thank those 304s.

The real issue here is if your chick is listening to her fat friends, and taking guidance from them, over you...then that's already a fvcked situation.

This was also happening. We were talking it out, agreed on solutions and right when she came back after meeting her friends, she started to argue and negotiating the same topics again. A total brain****...

 

[Barrister]

Chicks in their 20s are much more susceptible to this. As a woman gets older this will become less of a problem in my experience. Doesn't mean it doesn't still happen (it does) - but older women in their 30s generally are not as easily influenced by their friends as women in their 20s. I imagine it is even less so for women older than 30s (I can't speak from experience with that age bracket).

 

[Barrister]

It's only because women in their 30's don't have any friends. Once a woman hits the wall at about 28 she just disappears into a pile cat sh1t.

Ha - this is probably true. I also think a maturation process DOES occur with women. I know most people just want to rag on women post-30, but they do have life experiences like everyone else does and this does shape on they handle certain situations. One of those is becoming less easily-influenced by others (generally speaking of course).

 

[xplt]

I know how frustrating this is, but the best way to view it is simply to accept that she just wasn't that into you if the opinions of her friends can have this kind of influence over her.

I've seen the other side. I have had chicks openly laugh with me about her friends begging her not to meet me, and that I'm just using her, that I'm toxic, that's i'm a playboy etc.

I guarantee you man. When a chick is highly attracted to you, then her friends negative opinions are just funny to her.

This was frustrating first, but I'm glad I left her. This happened about two years ago, when I started coming here on sosuave. This was the most controlling and insecure woman i've ever met.
Friends and family had all a high opinion of me till she made problems a business of the whole family and friends. This was the biggest pain in the ass I've ever experienced. When I left her I felt a relief and happiness I can't describe.

Moral of the story, stay away from people who are influenced easily and not able to think for themselfes. Huge red flag for me.

 

[Datinglife26]

She is running game on you, "I'm not like the other girls."

Lol you guys are so paranoid. No doubt she is trying to come across as cooler than other girls. We are all running game in some way.

 

[Barrister]

Lol you guys are so paranoid. No doubt she is trying to come across as cooler than other girls. We are all running game in some way.

Brother, you just made a thread about worrying about your girlfriend's girlfriends' opinion of you. And now you are calling US paranoid. Just pointing out the irony.

 

[Datinglife26]

Brother, you just made a thread about worrying about your girlfriend's girlfriends' opinion of you. And now you are calling US paranoid. Just pointing out the irony.

I am saying when a girl is telling you her friends are saying **** and she isn't doing what they say that isn't some double backward mind game she is playing.

The being paranoid is thinking "she is running the im different game" instead or looking at it as "she is qualifying herself to me"

That isn't the same as what I am talking about in this thread. Clearly a difference.
She is trying to appease me to keep me interested. Not playing games out of insecurity

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Been thinking about this a little lately.

I was on a hike with my FWB (outdoor fun in the sun) and she was telling me how her girls friends keep asking her about who she is "dating" (me). Her comment back to me is that she wishes they would stop asking because once her friends get information back about how often I reach out to her, and what I do and say, they immediately start advising her to pull back and play games. Thankfully this girl is not a follower so she pointed out that most of the time that girls get into problems its because they have listened to their friends ideas of what they should expect from a guy.

Have come across a girls friends who were bitchy to me to start, without even knowing me it really has highlighted that lots of women lack the mental toughness to be able to think for themselves without bending to peer pressure.

It has happened to me in the past and only with highlight you realise that a lot of the time, their friends are giving them the worst advice for dealing with a man who is willing to walk away and who has option.

All in all, its probably for the best but really can make dating hard when you are interested in finding someone direct and mature.
Too man girls, not enough women.

Solid post. This is a major problem. Just as there are "black pill" men, there are "black pill" women aka toxic women. It is rare to find a girl that is not easily influenced and doesn't socially conform. Very rare in women these days.

Modern Man Advice

 

[Datinglife26]

It's impossible to know for sure what the cause and effect is, but I can give an example. I am a decent looking guy(7/10), nothing great but enough to where a small subset of women will obsess over me based on looks alone, but it's a safe bet that 50% of women will find me unattractive, including presumably half of any woman's friends. I am absolutely certain (was basically told to me once) that these girls that think I'm very attractive looking run to their friends with pictures of me bragging and get told "he's ok" or whatever, and then they start to seriously rethink things. This is probably more of an issue when physical attraction and ego are the primary drivers of the relationship.

My issue is that when I meet them they quickly act nice to me because I am good with people and friendly. Then the original girl is mad her friends are being talkative with me lol

Throws them instantly

 

[Barrister]

I am saying when a girl is telling you her friends are saying **** and she isn't doing what they say that isn't some double backward mind game she is playing.

The being paranoid is thinking "she is running the im different game" instead or looking at it as "she is qualifying herself to me"

That isn't the same as what I am talking about in this thread. Clearly a difference.
She is trying to appease me to keep me interested. Not playing games out of insecurity

If she is specifically telling you her friends are talking sh1t about you, it is a test. This is not trying to appease you. This is her seeing what your reaction is. I would tread carefully - and @LARaiders85 is correct in that this is not being paranoid. This is how women operate.

 

[Datinglife26]

If she is specifically telling you her friends are talking sh1t about you, it is a test. This is not trying to appease you. This is her seeing what your reaction is. I would tread carefully - and @LARaiders85 is correct in that this is not being paranoid. This is how women operate.

No she says her friends (who have never met me) are warning her that if i am not going over and above in getting her flowers etc then I am a **** boy. She doesn't agree and thinks that girl start **** for no reason, she also said these girls are terrible at dating lol

Tbh this chick is bi and grew up with 5 brothers so I am not worried that this is a test. If it is, its easy to pass by changing nothing in my actions.

 

[In2theGame]

When I first started dating my chick, one of her friends wanted her to go with her on a trip to Miami. My girlfriend told her no because she's not going on a trip without me....

Her friend advised her to start an argument with me and then act mad so that she could justify going on the trip. How's that for "advice". Ultimately my girl told her no because I don't play that sh!t.