Girl wants to move slowly...

[Moes]

Alright, so ran into this issue I haven’t dealt with before. Second date with a new potential plate and made out and squeezed her butt a lil (in a parking lot) then about an hour later that night i get a text from her saying she wants to move the physical part slowly because she has trust issues from a "experience" where a guy didn't understand no..then she says she's not a prude and is a hornball after she "knows that person" so I text back, "ok i understand just let me know if your ever uncomfortable ect".. I normally try to escalate pretty quick but this one has me a lil confused. I'm going to keep escalating as much as possible obviously but never had to work around a girl that has trust issues like this, also she's very "girl next door" type, pretty conservative ect..complete oppsite of club girl.

Any advice or things to watch out for?

 

[Scormus]

From my relatively small sample size I think she wants to be on the GF track before putting out.

I don't really know though, every girl is different and you get what you can.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

"ok i understand just let me know if your ever uncomfortable ect"

Great response. Sometimes that's all it takes. That's her defense mechanism for getting pumped and dumped.

Just play it cool. I'd actually start pulling away just a little. If you go out......some gentle push pull, but don't go for the close. Maybe cut the date short and drop her off at her place, get the hamster spinning. Whatever you do, don't act butt hurt. A correctly timed "if anything, we could just be friends" on your part, might make her reconsider holding back.

Instincts and timing are the key here.

 

[BeDJ]

If a girl tells you this on the second date, she's only good for a pump and dump anyways. You are the 'whipping boy' for her poor decisions in the past. Your response allowed her to set the rules for fvcking. Prepare to jump through some hoops.

I want to physically move slower.
That's fine, I have other options.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Sounds like she wants to reassure herself that she's not a slvt (which probably means that she is one). The correct response is to say "sure, no problem" and continue escalating.

 

[nismo-4]

Would she move slowly with Brad Pitt? Hell no. Women who are interested in you won't confuse you, nor will they throw out mixed signals. It's perhaps she wants to see how her other options play out. She might actually have a better man who won't talk to her, and she's holding out for him, and just wants you for attention.

Keep escalating. And watch the actions. BTW, it's sex first, relationship second. Doing this in reverse is a great way to get friendzoned.

Case closed.

 

[Zarky]

Sorry man, this is truly the worst news any guy can get. It means she thinks you're enough of a chump to pay for what she's been giving to other guys for free.

If you believe her story about "trust issues" or whatever, you're a fool.

In the future, you have to shut that sh*t down before it happens. Ask yourself what you did to make her believe she could get away with saying something like that to you, and don't ever do it again.

This is probably the type of girl who would have put out already if you'd put more pressure on. Since you didn't, she sees you as a beta and delivered the line she reserves for them.

Don't shoot the messenger, my friend Remember, it's never "worth the wait."

 

[Nutz]

I'll leave this here:

http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/23/wait-for-it/

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It’s sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to **** you will find a way to **** you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, **** the **** out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work – women who want to **** will find a way to ****. The girl who tells you she needs to be comfortable and wants a relationship first is the same girl who ****ed the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break just half an hour after meeting him.

 

[floydb25]

I used to do this... with girls I wasn't interested in... and vice versa. It was just automatic, and quite factual. I wasn't "lying". But the bottom line is, I wasn't into them. If a girl is crazy about you - she won't be afraid, confused, have trust issues, or make up excuses. She'll be infatuated and blah blah. This can change, too. She might be into you - THEN back off and talk about her trust issues. It's all the same, and usually the result of dwindling or low interest.

Trust issues seem to be non-issues when they're in chase mode, or have a crush on you. But they love to come up when they lose or never had much interest. Now they're SO afraid. Ha Ha. Not that they're necessarily lying - they just think that their loss of interest means they're afraid. Bishes are all about their emotions, and how you make them feel. When they sense your coming on too strong, and they inadvertingly lose interest - they back away, and mention this trust crap.

IME, anyway.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It’s sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to **** you will find a way to **** you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, **** the **** out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work – women who want to **** will find a way to ****. The girl who tells you she needs to be comfortable and wants a relationship first is the same girl who ****ed the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break just half an hour after meeting him.

I hear this rationalization a lot on here. Twice already on this thread. Every time I do I think of a bunch of KJ's regurgitating the same info. I just don't buy it.

Chicks SAY this $hit ALL THE TIME. If they're not a slvt then it's in their hardwiring to try their best to make a guy wait. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to fvck you. The fact that she's bringing it up means she's thinking about it.

Sometimes it takes a few dates.....nothing wrong with that in my book. I actually like it better that way.

 

[Zarky]

Sometimes it takes a few dates.....nothing wrong with that in my book. I actually like it better that way.

Bahahah now that's a rationalization. I like it better when the girl who's boned guys on the first date makes me wait longer. Suuuuure you do, pal. Sure you do

Next you'll be telling yourself it's because she "likes you" that she's making you wait. No, it's because it's about alpha f*cks, beta bucks.

 

[Jules_Winfield]

I think she was telling you she was date raped or close to it.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I think she was telling you she was date raped or close to it.

My understanding as well.

Bahahah now that's a rationalization. I like it better when the girl who's boned guys on the first date makes me wait longer. Suuuuure you do, pal. Sure you do

Next you'll be telling yourself it's because she "likes you" that she's making you wait. No, it's because it's about alpha f*cks, beta bucks.

So....are you saying I'm beta for thinking that way?

What's wrong with meeting a girl that doesn't want to have sex on the first date? Other than someone off of POF or a swinger....you know, for obvious reasons.

I'm just curious. I'd actually like to hear some more reasoning on this.

Anyone else?

 

[BeDJ]

So....are you saying I'm beta for thinking that way?

What's wrong with meeting a girl that doesn't want to have sex on the first date?

I'm just curious. I'd actually like to hear some more reasoning on this.

Anyone else?

No one is saying there's anything wrong with a girl not putting out on the first date.

The bullsh!t detector went off when she said her experiences on guys not understanding no. This girl is NOW making the OP pay for past bad decisions when she was pumped and dumped or gave her snatch away for free. S|ut justification.

She decided to HER RULES on when sex will be occurring, so when OP agreed to it, she controls not only sex, but the relationship. He is now a puppet with her dangling the sex cord. It was perfectly executed to play the victim card which many men fall for. This is where you take back control of the relationship progress.

I've have bad experiences in the past, I want to move slow.
That's fine, I have other options.

If you agree with her, you give her all the power.
If you agree with her, pull back and give her little attention, it reaffirms her belief that you just want sex.
If you agree with her, say you have other options and leave it at that, her hamster will be on 10 pills of ecstasy.

She either plays by your rules or you walk away. Don't ever be a slave to pvssy.

 

[floydb25]

I hear this rationalization a lot on here. Twice already on this thread. Every time I do I think of a bunch of KJ's regurgitating the same info. I just don't buy it.

Chicks SAY this $hit ALL THE TIME. If they're not a slvt then it's in their hardwiring to try their best to make a guy wait. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to fvck you. The fact that she's bringing it up means she's thinking about it.

Sometimes it takes a few dates.....nothing wrong with that in my book. I actually like it better that way.

Word... it even happens right before the act - even if THEY set it up. Who knows, man. What I do know is to not listen to **** women say, and then act on it, as well. The game still applies. Maybe the OP just pushed for the physical too soon. But bishes are always complaining about something not being right - only to change their minds, and complain about something else instead.

So, she says she's waiting blah blah. Watch if he pulls back, acts more "friendly", and she pushes for the physical with HIM - out of fear of him losing interest, or showing indifference... AFTER she tells him she doesn't like the uncertainty and confusion. This works, anyway. Always gotta let bishes come to you, and start showing physical interest in YOU - AFTER you seduce / charm them - THEN escalate.

But anyway... bishes don't know what they want - they act on what attracts them. You can talk to one forever, and listen to her go on about how she's not looking for a relationship, hating men, trust issues, blah blah. You're just sitting there, not giving a ****, and feel the same way... Maybe she's even saying this as an ego defense because she KNOWS you don't give a ****, and aren't looking for one, either. Or she just likes to complain. Down the line, after some seduction or courting, or just not giving a **** (this works REAL well, for some reason), she'll try to get closer to you, push for sex, tell you she's not a wh0re and doesn't want to be used, blah blah. Been there. They prefer this random ****, anyway. Much more than defined comfort.

Nothing they say matters, in regards to their "wants". Don't assume they're all that innocent or victimized, either.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

^^^^Right....chick logic. Nothing new. And no reason to make a big deal about nothing....

No one is saying there's anything wrong with a girl not putting out on the first date. Yes, actually there are, it's implied.

The bullsh!t detector went off when she said her experiences on guys not understanding no. A guy ****ed her on the first date for whatever reason and now she regrets it.This girl is NOW making the OP pay for past bad decisions when she was pumped and dumped or gave her snatch away for free. S|ut justification. Maybe she learned something

She decided to HER RULES on when sex will be occurring, Yes that's how it works, go on so when OP agreed to it, she controls not only sex, but the relationship. Nope, only the sex He is now a puppet with her dangling the sex cord. Don't think so, not if you listen to my previous advice It was perfectly executed to play the victim card which many men fall for. Some do, but all she said is she wanted to wait, that's it. She's not a born again virgin, she just wants to wait....This is where you take back control of the relationship progress. You've always been in control. As long as your d1ck's not calling the shots.

I've have bad experiences in the past, I want to move slow.
That's fine, I have other options. Your response is showing emotion my friend. You're getting her back for saying that mean deceitful thing that brought back bad memories of getting denied in the past, and made you want to go back home and cry to mama
If you agree with her, you give her all the power.
If you agree with her, pull back and give her little attention, it reaffirms her belief that you just want sex.
If you agree with her, say you have other options and leave it at that, her hamster will be on 10 pills of ecstasy.

She either plays by your rules or you walk away. Your rules are on ecstasy. Don't ever be a slave to pvssy. If you're too emotional about it you'll always be the slave.

My reply in red.

 

[Desdinova]

Sounds like she wants to reassure herself that she's not a slvt (which probably means that she is one). The correct response is to say "sure, no problem" and continue escalating.

Agreed 100%. It's just ASD.

so I text back, "ok i understand just let me know if your ever uncomfortable ect"

What I like to do is agree that we're moving too fast, and then use a woman's bull5hit against them by saying "I really like to get to know a girl before I sleep with them." Then go back to escalating and maybe accuse her of moving things too fast.

You need to take control of the whole "moving too fast" issue by giving her hot and cold.

 

[CrashOverRide]

This is a very relevant post.... one that I think most men have experienced from women perhaps in different phrases but really the same semantics..

I think the key is trying to find the reality of the situation and decide for yourself what you want to do. I agree more than anyone else that it sucks having to wait for sex with a woman you know gave it up easier to someone else in the past. You have every right to next a woman for doing this to you if you feel you are degrading yourself for waiting. This is only of course if this is how you frame it...

The one constant thing I have found in my real experiences throughout this dynamic "game" with women is that the timing of when you meet a woman could determine a lot of how your interactions will go, especially behavior. I know we'd all like to believe the hard rule that if a woman wants you, and you are alpha enough she will bang you right away. This is may be the case theoretically... but we forget that woman are human beings as well and their reality is shaped by their experiences just as ours are.

If you meet a woman who was pumped and dumped by 3 guys in a row... you can bet she is going to be apprehensive about putting out so quickly. Had you met this woman before this you may have very well gotten it right away or a lot sooner. Same thing as if you meet a girl who is mad at her boyfriend and wants to bang some guy right away... you could be in the right place at the right time. Maybe a week later she is back together with him and happy and will be resistant and not in that same mindset. This is not to say this can't be overcome with tight game... but that tight game may be what you will need to get her to put out. You could also decide to go the route of building comfort... but the choice resides with you alone.

I think the main point I want to make here is something I learned through a lot of experience. Don't be hard on yourself or even the woman if she isn't acting how you think she should. If you'd rather move to an easier target then do it... if you'd rather take a stab at the resistant target do it...

In the end only you can decide what is worth your effort.

 

[Big Nuts]

3 dates. Don't pedestalize her p00n....I made these mistakes when young. Unless she is a virgin, know that some other guy has raw dogged her, she's sucked his balls, licked his bung, he's dumped his goo in her mouth, fingered her a$$hole, maybe did anal, fugged her doggie style.....

....why would you wait if she's done any or all of this??????

 

[Big Nuts]

I'm 45 and I have 38 year old chicks saying this sh!t. Just ignore and never listen to what women say, simply watch what they do. Escalate...always.