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Girl attracted to you as 'boyfriend material' vs 'sexy'

Genos

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I've been thinking quite a bit about my past with women, and the kinds of attraction dynamics I've seen/heard/read about.

There are 3 cases, to my understanding:

1. The woman is not interested in you -> acts like a good girl around you.
2. The woman is interested in you as 'boyfriend material' -> acts like a good girl around you
3. The woman is interested in you sexually, sees you as the alpha badboy -> she's very flirty, forward, shows a bit more of her wild side, more sexual in general, lowers her inhibititions

The women who were interested in me in my past, were pretty much always case #2. They acted like good girls, quite conservative, very modest, etc., the usual. I can't remember a scenario when I was in case #3.

I remembered something from a while back just now. I'm not afraid of cussing, in fact I sometimes use curse words/profanity in my daily conversations casually (for better or worse). Well a while back, I was having a conversation with the girl I was interested in (and she was interested in me), and however it happened, we got on the topic of cussing. She said she doesn't cuss, because it's 'not right', and said "I do not use such words, please" (in a joking manner, etc.). I hadn't really heard her cuss much either, so it seemed plausible to me.

Maybe a few weeks to a month later, I was with her and a mutual friend, another dude; this guy was (in my evaluation) pretty manly, rather handsome, tall + muscular, etc. Joking around, he was teasing her and she responded with "omg, fvck you", and making the 'brush under the chin **** you hand gesture' playfully.

I thought it was a little odd then, but for whatever reason it's really striking me now. She wanted to put on a 'good girl' impression when just talking to me, but in front of a man whom I assume she found more sexually attractive, she wasn't afraid of being more 'wild'. There are other scenarios in my memory where this girl would put say one thing "I don't have an opposition to premarital sex", and then say the opposite later. There were too many variables in the context to absolutely tell what was going on (who she was putting on a front/letting down her guard for), but the situation is similar I think. There are a couple of things I want to ask about:

1. From this scenario, it's painfully obvious that she's interested if she lowers her barriers on her social pressures like that. My problem is, when women see you as "boyfriend material" (and this is assuming that sphere of attraction actually is a thing/exists), they act similar as to if they were not interested in you at all. I have missed out on opportunities because I couldn't really tell if a girl was interested in me or not because of this. How do I discern the difference, as the good girl act is the same? Is she interested because she's greeting me and smiling at me, etc., or is she just a polite/friendly respectable woman?

2. Is it better to be that alpha/sexy/badboy type? Everything is so much simpler that way. Is it bad that women see you as "boyfriend material"/put up a front around you, not showing you their more private side? If these are true, how do I change myself so that women don't see me as someone like that?
 

RangerMIke

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Don't be 'boyfriend' material during attraction. If a woman thinks of you as boyfriend/relationship material it's because you are acting like this.

You should ALWAYS put out the vibe that all you want is fun and sex.... If women think you don't want to fvck them, they will lose interest in you. Remember to a woman, sex is thier bait, their body and looks are the tackle. If they don't think their gear is what will hook you, emotionally they don't know what to do with you.

If you want her in a relationship, then you have to bang her... you will never get to that point unless you put out the vibe that you want to fvck them. Remember... men have to be the ones that make sex happen.
 

zekko

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I'm with PairPlus here, this is basically irrelevant.
I'm a good catch, so women will see me as good boyfriend material. But they all want the sex just the same. Maybe more. There's no reason that you can't be considered sexy if they see you as boyfriend material. No reason at all.
 

Mike32ct

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I get what you are saying Zekko and don't disagree.

But as the OP mentioned, do women ACT differently around the fun/sex/hookup guy versus the guy she wants to date?

It may be the case that women are more FORWARD or aggressive around the "hookup guy" than the "boyfriend guy." It may be because she doesn't want to appear too "easy" in front of the boyfriend guy because she doesn't want to get pumped and dumped by him.

Nothing wrong with that per se, but it might be harder to detect IOIs from the relationship girl than the hookup girl. She may be more subtle about showing her interest/attraction, and unfortunately more guys can miss out because of this.
 

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Konduit said:
My problem is, when women see you as "boyfriend material" (and this is assuming that sphere of attraction actually is a thing/exists), they act similar as to if they were not interested in you at all. I have missed out on opportunities because I couldn't really tell if a girl was interested in me or not because of this.
That's your fault bro. If you can't get with a girl because you can't read buying signals, you got bigger problems, You can't expect a girl to say "I want to take you home and f you," or "I want you to be boyfriend."

Plus, if she wants you to be her boyfriend, why would she act uninterested? Doesn't make any sense.

How do I discern the difference, as the good girl act is the same? Is she interested because she's greeting me and smiling at me, etc., or is she just a polite/friendly respectable woman?
Are you interested in every girl you greet and smile at, or are you just polite and respectable to them?

If you guys get confused about politeness vs turned on, you are going to get CRUSHED out there.

2. Is it better to be that alpha/sexy/badboy type? Everything is so much simpler that way. Is it bad that women see you as "boyfriend material"/put up a front around you, not showing you their more private side? If these are true, how do I change myself so that women don't see me as someone like that?
Yes it's bad. Come on bro, you can't expect them to show all their cards at the beginning and not play any games. Just be alpha...problem solved. :up:
 

Lolapo

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I think what OP means is that in the beginning when the girl sees you as sexually attractive but has no rapport with you yet, she'll be more sexually agressive, more fun because she has nothing to lose yet she just thinks you're hot but if you walk away she won't mind that much because she does not know you yet.

When she sees you as boyfriend material, she'll somewhat tone down because she's afraid she'll come on to strong and scare you off or she's afraid of saying stuff that you could see as weird. She now has something to lose.
Think back of our betadays, I can relate to this.

This isn't some theory, it's 100% fact which answers OP's question as to why they act different.
 
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