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Getting no dates, what am I doing wrong?

SW15

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If you can dance
Dance. Go dancing as much as you can. If you already dance salsa/bachata/meringe then learn Texas 2 step in the country western bars.

Two step is simple footwork, same beat as salsa and women love a good dancer. Get good at dancing and you’ll be able to meet & get close to women. The rest will follow from there. I concur with being interested in others to appear as interesting to others.
@Howiestern's "If" is a big If for a lot of men. Dancing isn't an easy skill to pick up when you have an urgent sexual need. You're talking about a learning curve of 1-2 years or longer if you're not skilled at it.

Also, this ignores the currently ongoing pandemic. I think dancing and other indoor venues have been deeply affected. If masking at the grocery store is still is a big thing affecting approaching, then dancing venues would have to be affected even more so than the grocery store. Dancing is a more interpersonal experience with airborne particles than passing by people in the grocery store.
 

BeExcellent

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@Howiestern's "If" is a big If for a lot of men. Dancing isn't an easy skill to pick up when you have an urgent sexual need. You're talking about a learning curve of 1-2 years or longer if you're not skilled at it.

Also, this ignores the currently ongoing pandemic. I think dancing and other indoor venues have been deeply affected. If masking at the grocery store is still is a big thing affecting approaching, then dancing venues would have to be affected even more so than the grocery store. Dancing is a more interpersonal experience with airborne particles than passing by people in the grocery store.
OP already dances. Texas is open. So he should have no issues in Dallas.
 

SW15

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OP already dances. Texas is open. So he should have no issues in Dallas.
@Pedrito0906 is lucky that he already dances and doesn't have to deal with the learning curve like a lot of men would have to.

Yes, Texas is open. That doesn't mean that the mating environment in Texas is what it was in 2019. It's still spotty. @HaleyBaron did post a good pic of the interior of a bar in the Dallas area a few months back.

@Pedrito0906 being 5'5" is likely the biggest issue.
 

HaleyBaron

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There's not much mingling at the bars or clubs. Only friends and groups who already know each other tend to talk. However, you'll still get conversations more between guys than guys and girls interacting (strangers). I do see women being more open to talking to other women, too. From my observations, there's a lot of shyness and other stigmas going on that keeps a man and a woman who dont know each other from conversating. Whether the guy is fearful of opening a woman, or the woman is just being generally shy and fearful of talking to other guys. I can't pin if this comes from a narcissist place when it comes to women accepting men advances, but I've seen enough women turn down men that I guarantee it's deliberate.
 

SW15

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There's not much mingling at the bars or clubs. Only friends and groups who already know each other tend to talk. However, you'll still get conversations more between guys than guys and girls interacting (strangers). I do see women being more open to talking to other women, too. From my observations, there's a lot of shyness and other stigmas going on that keeps a man and a woman who dont know each other from conversating. Whether the guy is fearful of opening a woman, or the woman is just being generally shy and fearful of talking to other guys. I can't pin if this comes from a narcissist place when it comes to women accepting men advances, but I've seen enough women turn down men that I guarantee it's deliberate.
I find this to be an interesting observation. If this is happening lately (and I think this was also going on pre-pandemic), why even bother to go out to a bar or nightclub for the purposes of finding dates and/or one night stands? If people are solely going to interact with people they already know, then it is better to drink alcohol at home purchased at a grocery store or liquor store.

In what you describe, the only reason to go out to a bar is for your Tinder/Hinge/Bumble date. You and your friends can drink at someone's home.
 

Velasco

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why even bother to go out to a bar or nightclub for the purposes of finding dates and/or one night stands?
There are bars conductive for approaching strangers. You just need to find them. What he described is social circle bars.
 

RBK

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Sady the height isn’t helping. Woman especially younger are incredibly shallow with height. Lift heavy, work on confidence.. its all we can do. Its a numbers game with women.
 

SW15

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There are bars conductive for approaching strangers. You just need to find them. What he described is social circle bars.
It's good that there are still bars conducive for approaching strangers. I can think of one example of a social circle bar in my area. It has long tables on its patio. The long tables are good for bigger groups of friends but bad for approaching new groups since everyone is sitting with their friend groups. I've avoided that bar.
 

HaleyBaron

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I find this to be an interesting observation. If this is happening lately (and I think this was also going on pre-pandemic), why even bother to go out to a bar or nightclub for the purposes of finding dates and/or one night stands? If people are solely going to interact with people they already know, then it is better to drink alcohol at home purchased at a grocery store or liquor store.

In what you describe, the only reason to go out to a bar is for your Tinder/Hinge/Bumble date. You and your friends can drink at someone's home.
I'm currently sitting at home right now because of that. Is it even worth my time going out right now. I do get approach at bars, but the encounter usually is very shallow. And the girls are always moving on. I don't think it's worth the time or money to pick up chicks much. At least right now. Girls are being very resilient to getting taken home.
 

SW15

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I'm currently sitting at home right now because of that. Is it even worth my time going out right now. I do get approach at bars, but the encounter usually is very shallow. And the girls are always moving on. I don't think it's worth the time or money to pick up chicks much. At least right now. Girls are being very resilient to getting taken home.
There are bars conductive for approaching strangers. You just need to find them. What he described is social circle bars.
@HaleyBaron -- Is this a problem of social circle bars?

Why do you think women are more resistance to both one night stands or even meeting new men for future dates?
 

Velasco

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Why do you think women are more resistance to both one night stands or even meeting new men for future dates?
This is not a problem of social circle bars. The odds of pulling from social circle bars are extremely low which is why I avoid them. However the resistance to one night stands and resistance on condom usage is a pattern I have noticed a lot more since 2020.

The condom insistance I believe is covid related. With all the talk in the media about germs.

And the resistance to one night stand is I believe related to this thinking that if girls sleep with guys on the second meeting, opposed to the first night, then they are not sluts. Because they made the guy wait (even its only an additional day). This is with both 18 year olds and as far as 30 year olds. Having said that, I have also had ONS these past two years without resistance to ONS. Latest was Friday.


Just saying it's a pattern I've noticed.
 

Travel memoir21

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Single in Dallas Fort Worth area?

I think God is doing you a favor. A lot of those girls are not relationship material man and a waste of energy. I'd go overseas and abroad to find a decent woman.
 

HaleyBaron

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@HaleyBaron -- Is this a problem of social circle bars?

Why do you think women are more resistance to both one night stands or even meeting new men for future dates?
Velasco did a good job on some points. Maybe the covid scare is a lot bigger than I expected. Women usually are a paradox when it comes to scares. They follow the rules, but will also break. So they will do stuff like take the vaccine or wear masks, but they will **** a guy who doesnt do either.

If Im not mistaken, I think this is also the hookup culture starting to reach its conclusion. All the women have been ****ing men, but they also have been effectively "used and tossed", and other girls hear this and dont want this to happen to them. A lot of younger girls still like to **** around, but the age metric is shrinking as this culture catches up. Next year, 22s will be tired of it. Then 21s (not the true ages, but an example of the shrinkage).

Another thing: women read what we read. So they likely have read Rollo's stuff and The Game books that are out there, so are becoming more privy to what we're doing. The game is changing.
 

mattinzane

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Fast forward to almost the end of the night I managed to isolate her, grab her back and went for the kiss, shockingly she pulled back, I think she is a virgin and don't have a lot of experience with guys? was she nervous? maybe idk.



It can be hard to tell why she pulled back, she could have been surprised you tried to kiss her because you are much older than her or she was nervous and it was just a reaction, you should have asked her if you wanted to know "hey what's the problem?" maybe she would tell you.

I went on a date some years back with a woman I worked with, we would talk at lunch and got to know each other pretty well. I called her, to ask her out over the weekend, she agreed and we had a good date. At the end I walked her to her door and went for the first date kiss, but she gave me the cheek. So I kissed her on the cheek and said goodnight.

The next day at work, she cornered me and asked me when I was going to kiss her, I then made out with her for several minutes. Later we were talking and she admitted to me that she had thought about that near kiss all night and had to kiss me the next day. The only way to know what she was thinking is to ask.
 

Bingo-Player

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@Pedrito0906

@Pedrito0906 being 5'5" is likely the biggest issue.
Agreed

Similarly to how we do not want a girl with no a$$ and no T1ts, women do not really want a guy under 5 10 some will want 6ft + minimum

These are just a primary factor in physical male & female attraction

It's clichéd but most women want "tall dark handsome" in that order

Of course depending on your and her looks compromises can be made , and if you get very lucky you meet a girl you have good chemistry with and she may over look the height issue

Ultimately you must accept that the girls you really want may not necessarily want you ..... you have to be really really lucky to meet a girl that wants you as much as you want her

In my 10 years in the field I've only ever encountered it with one girl where from the second we met we both felt equal chemistry
that is how rare it is
 

Glassguy

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Remember it is how you make women FEEL that makes them attracted to you. I remember an old black woman said to me...

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
This. Outside of being attractive enough to catch a woman's interest, you have to make them feel a way that leaves them desiring to see you again/see more of you.
That goes for sexually, physically, mentally.
People don't fall in love with you. They fall in love with how you make them feel.
 

Pedrito0906

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Fast forward to almost the end of the night I managed to isolate her, grab her back and went for the kiss, shockingly she pulled back, I think she is a virgin and don't have a lot of experience with guys? was she nervous?
Fast Forward 8 months after this, the girl was super nervous, after getting the six pack and getting more confident, she's drooling all over for me. So yeah my first young hottie.
 
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