Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Getting no dates, what am I doing wrong?

Pedrito0906

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2021
Messages
10
Reaction score
1
Age
32
Hi everyone,

First of all I wanna thank all bros taking their time to answer questions and share their knowledge. I'm 32, 5'5", 140 lbs, professional, making 6 figures, I have my own house and my car is paid off, with my **** together financially, no kids, never married. I'm an outgoing person, have lots of friends, extroverted, very social, play sports, gym and dance salsa/bachata/merengue. But with woman, I've been a ***** all my life, with no boundaries, going the extra mile, the typical nice guy.

A year ago I've started recognizing I had a problem, I have listened like 10 audiobooks over and over, Rational male, No More Mr. Nice guy, PUAs books, Dating books, How to be more alpha, etc. I've been in therapy since 2 months ago to talk about my controlling mother and my beta father as part of my growing up and how that affected me with girls (I suppose). I've started to approach girls, asking for their numbers, inviting them to go out, but I've had no luck. I've had other girls, but the ones I've had are mostly single mothers who are you know "low hanging fruits" but not really a beautiful girl without kids.

I've always been on my purpose, not by choice since in college I was chubby, with no confidence so there was nothing else to do than play video games and study engineering. Now I'm 32 with everything material and a lot of dating to catch up that I missed in my 20s, but I haven't had any damn luck with girls. I am now fit and getting in better shape (see pic attached) and I see guys with really beautiful girls and I ask myself wtf he has that I don't have, since they're fat and even shorter than me.

So I would like to know some experiences when you guys started approaching girl, up to the time you close the deal and how you guys started to gain more confidence with girls. I'm in Texas DFW, so my demographics I would say its on par with me.

Thanks to all and happy thanksgiving
 

Attachments

Last edited:

twelveightyone

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2021
Messages
22
Reaction score
20
Location
Massachusetts, USA
I'd suggest getting on the dating apps and going out on some dates every week. You'll make mistakes and learn on every single one.

If you do that, I don't think you can screw it up.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,534
Reaction score
1,558
Age
47
I did roll the tape, still nothing cause I don't use roids.
Social skills and a Sense of humor was the lesson. Can't be one dimensional. How is your male friendship bucket? if you can relate to other guys with mutual respect, you are on your way to better luck with women. Mainly because you can connect with another person on a level OTHER than Physical.

Remember it is how you make women FEEL that makes them attracted to you. I remember an old black woman said to me...

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

joesbigship

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2021
Messages
138
Reaction score
73
You're in a good situation relatively speaking since TX has fewer restrictions than most other states. I have visited Dallas and it's pretty wack as far as nightlife is concerned. Tons of venues but girls are stuck up and only slightly above average in quality.

I thought it'd be a ton of super friendly sweet blonde southern girls but it's anything but. It's just like any other trashy left wing metro area like LA or SF.

You got lost a little bit in the fun vs work equation in your 20's and you are now being forced to play a lot of catch up. You could grab a GF quickly but chances are you're going to have to slog through the various options just like everyone else:

 

Pedrito0906

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2021
Messages
10
Reaction score
1
Age
32
You're in a good situation relatively speaking since TX has fewer restrictions than most other states. I have visited Dallas and it's pretty wack as far as nightlife is concerned. Tons of venues but girls are stuck up and only slightly above average in quality.

I thought it'd be a ton of super friendly sweet blonde southern girls but it's anything but. It's just like any other trashy left wing metro area like LA or SF.

You got lost a little bit in the fun vs work equation in your 20's and you are now being forced to play a lot of catch up. You could grab a GF quickly but chances are you're going to have to slog through the various options just like everyone else:

I don't intent to have a gf, I wanna date non-monogamous to experience what I missed.
 

Willie Naylor

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2021
Messages
627
Reaction score
496
Location
Omaha
You're in a good situation relatively speaking since TX has fewer restrictions than most other states. I have visited Dallas and it's pretty wack as far as nightlife is concerned. Tons of venues but girls are stuck up
I went to college in Dallas, and never had any problems meeting beautiful senoritas.

The only time a guy says 'girls are stuck up' is when they swung for the fences and missed the ball entirely with some chick.

OP is in good shape, money's right, got a good career.

I would suggest joining a professional network in your industry. Are you on LinkedIn, @Pedrito0906?
 

rjc149

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2019
Messages
882
Reaction score
1,283
Location
NJ/NYC
Dress well, get very jacked (essential given your height), become very charming and witty but never a clown, and learn to read cues and IOI's from women to maximize your chances.

Don't try to pull off the big loud "ALPHA" persona. Climb the social hierarchy by being likable, without needing to be liked. Study "charm" and its fundamentals -- interesting people are interested in people.

Other than that, keep playing the numbers. I can't tell you exactly where you're going wrong without seeing you in social situations.
 

joesbigship

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2021
Messages
138
Reaction score
73
I went to college in Dallas, and never had any problems meeting beautiful senoritas.

The only time a guy says 'girls are stuck up' is when they swung for the fences and missed the ball entirely with some chick.

OP is in good shape, money's right, got a good career.

I would suggest joining a professional network in your industry. Are you on LinkedIn, @Pedrito0906?
Meeting girls in college in dallas for 4/5/6 years is a lot different than cold approaching in random bars and clubs over a few days stay.

I'm pretty particular as well. I saw very, very few 8+ girls, and it wasn't much fun wading through huge numbers of 5 to 7's.

I'm particularly picky when it comes to "senioritas." Most of them are very fat, and among the slim ones lots of problems with gangbanger family members, abuse in their families, and other such random bull****.

There were entire clubs filled with nothing but fatties. Dallas is very mediocre overall.
 
Last edited:

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
1,507
Reaction score
1,907
Age
43
Hi everyone,

First of all I wanna thank all bros taking their time to answer questions and share their knowledge. I'm 32, 5'5", 140 lbs, professional, making 6 figures, I have my own house and my car is paid off, with my **** together financially, no kids, never married. I'm an outgoing person, have lots of friends, extroverted, very social, play sports, gym and dance salsa/bachata/merengue. But with woman, I've been a ***** all my life, with no boundaries, going the extra mile, the typical nice guy.


A year ago I've started recognizing I had a problem, I have listened like 10 audiobooks over and over, Rational male, No More Mr. Nice guy, PUAs books, Dating books, How to be more alpha, etc. I've been in therapy since 2 months ago to talk about my controlling mother and my beta father as part of my growing up and how that affected me with girls (I suppose). I've started to approach girls, asking for their numbers, inviting them to go out, but I've had no luck. I've had other girls, but the ones I've had are mostly single mothers who are you know "low hanging fruits" but not really a beautiful girl without kids.

I've always been on my purpose, not by choice since in college I was chubby, with no confidence so there was nothing else to do than play video games and study engineering. Now I'm 32 with everything material and a lot of dating to catch up that I missed in my 20s, but I haven't had any damn luck with girls. I am now fit and getting in better shape (see pic attached) and I see guys with really beautiful girls and I ask myself wtf he has that I don't have, since they're fat and even shorter than me.

So I would like to know some experiences when you guys started approaching girl, up to the time you close the deal and how you guys started to gain more confidence with girls. I'm in Texas DFW, so my demographics I would say its on par with me.

Thanks to all and happy thanksgiving
You are short. Aim for women that are shorter than you or the same height as you.

Confidence is not gained. Confidence is assumed and projected. You can try all you want to project confidence, but in the end you're only confident when you finally say "fvck it" and stop caring what other people think about you, and you mean it: If they don't like you, they're not for you, and life is better this way. Women react to this attitude way more than to some guy who is constantly checking himself to see if he is getting the approval he's expecting. This means saying what you mean and looking at women with honest attraction

Also, DFW ranks very high among the most materialistic sh!thole cities I have ever been to. If I were you, I'd look for chicks in the outlying areas instead of downtown.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,317
Reaction score
5,449
Age
64
Location
The 7th Dimension
How’s your voice, OP? Could it stand for some deepening?
 

Grounded eagle

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
309
Reaction score
235
Age
23
Hi everyone,

First of all I wanna thank all bros taking their time to answer questions and share their knowledge. I'm 32, 5'5", 140 lbs, professional, making 6 figures, I have my own house and my car is paid off, with my **** together financially, no kids, never married. I'm an outgoing person, have lots of friends, extroverted, very social, play sports, gym and dance salsa/bachata/merengue. But with woman, I've been a ***** all my life, with no boundaries, going the extra mile, the typical nice guy.

A year ago I've started recognizing I had a problem, I have listened like 10 audiobooks over and over, Rational male, No More Mr. Nice guy, PUAs books, Dating books, How to be more alpha, etc. I've been in therapy since 2 months ago to talk about my controlling mother and my beta father as part of my growing up and how that affected me with girls (I suppose). I've started to approach girls, asking for their numbers, inviting them to go out, but I've had no luck. I've had other girls, but the ones I've had are mostly single mothers who are you know "low hanging fruits" but not really a beautiful girl without kids.

I've always been on my purpose, not by choice since in college I was chubby, with no confidence so there was nothing else to do than play video games and study engineering. Now I'm 32 with everything material and a lot of dating to catch up that I missed in my 20s, but I haven't had any damn luck with girls. I am now fit and getting in better shape (see pic attached) and I see guys with really beautiful girls and I ask myself wtf he has that I don't have, since they're fat and even shorter than me.

So I would like to know some experiences when you guys started approaching girl, up to the time you close the deal and how you guys started to gain more confidence with girls. I'm in Texas DFW, so my demographics I would say its on par with me.

Thanks to all and happy thanksgiving
On a scale of 1-10,how would you rate your social skills?(Confidence,affability,charm etc)

Also,what are your friends like?The people we associate with tend to have a large bearing on this sort of thing.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
3,314
Reaction score
3,811
Age
41
Hi everyone,

First of all I wanna thank all bros taking their time to answer questions and share their knowledge. I'm 32, 5'5", 140 lbs, professional, making 6 figures, I have my own house and my car is paid off, with my **** together financially, no kids, never married. I'm an outgoing person, have lots of friends, extroverted, very social, play sports, gym and dance salsa/bachata/merengue. But with woman, I've been a ***** all my life, with no boundaries, going the extra mile, the typical nice guy.

A year ago I've started recognizing I had a problem, I have listened like 10 audiobooks over and over, Rational male, No More Mr. Nice guy, PUAs books, Dating books, How to be more alpha, etc. I've been in therapy since 2 months ago to talk about my controlling mother and my beta father as part of my growing up and how that affected me with girls (I suppose). I've started to approach girls, asking for their numbers, inviting them to go out, but I've had no luck. I've had other girls, but the ones I've had are mostly single mothers who are you know "low hanging fruits" but not really a beautiful girl without kids.

I've always been on my purpose, not by choice since in college I was chubby, with no confidence so there was nothing else to do than play video games and study engineering. Now I'm 32 with everything material and a lot of dating to catch up that I missed in my 20s, but I haven't had any damn luck with girls. I am now fit and getting in better shape (see pic attached) and I see guys with really beautiful girls and I ask myself wtf he has that I don't have, since they're fat and even shorter than me.

So I would like to know some experiences when you guys started approaching girl, up to the time you close the deal and how you guys started to gain more confidence with girls. I'm in Texas DFW, so my demographics I would say its on par with me.

Thanks to all and happy thanksgiving
Have you tried moving to Vietnam?
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

bmp2cpm

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2009
Messages
306
Reaction score
182
Location
PA
My guess...you are focusing a little too much on how you look. Men care about looks. Women really don't. They care about a man as a leader who is resourceful, and has a willingness to commit sharing his resources.

Also, you are trying too hard.

I would focus less time on how you look and less time trying to date. Instead, focus more time networking, getting a huge circle of friends. As an extrovert, this should come easy to you.

Often when you stop looking for women, that's when the woman finds you.With a huge circle of friends, the girl will find you.

To stop being so nice stop reading dating books. Instead read some John Corey books by Demille. Be your own version of John Corey. Also, read Evolution of Desire twice.

Good luck!
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
2,940
Reaction score
2,904
How’s your voice, OP? Could it stand for some deepening?
I know a guy with in his 30s with a salary in the mid $100,000s who doesn't get laid much. Women treat him like dirt despite the salary. He has a lot of "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates. His voice needs deepening. I think it is the voice that is a big factor in why that happens.

I have visited Dallas and it's pretty wack as far as nightlife is concerned. Tons of venues but girls are stuck up and only slightly above average in quality.

I thought it'd be a ton of super friendly sweet blonde southern girls but it's anything but. It's just like any other trashy left wing metro area like LA or SF.
Dallas is a tough mating environment. It's a typical American city in the sense that there's a surplus of 20s/30s men to 20s/30s women.

Women are known for being stuck up in the city. You'll get worse attitudes in Dallas using night game as compared to day game. You can still deal with attitude problems there if only doing non-bar approaches.
 

Pedrito0906

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2021
Messages
10
Reaction score
1
Age
32
How’s your voice, OP? Could it stand for some deepening?
My voice is fine, I have a deep voice.

On a scale of 1-10,how would you rate your social skills?(Confidence,affability,charm etc)

Also,what are your friends like?The people we associate with tend to have a large bearing on this sort of thing.
My social skills is 8-9. I associate with lots of peoplel single, married with family, rich, poor, hard workers, professionals, non-professionals, from different countries.

My guess...you are focusing a little too much on how you look. Men care about looks. Women really don't. They care about a man as a leader who is resourceful, and has a willingness to commit sharing his resources.

Also, you are trying too hard.

I would focus less time on how you look and less time trying to date. Instead, focus more time networking, getting a huge circle of friends. As an extrovert, this should come easy to you.

Often when you stop looking for women, that's when the woman finds you.With a huge circle of friends, the girl will find you.

To stop being so nice stop reading dating books. Instead read some John Corey books by Demille. Be your own version of John Corey. Also, read Evolution of Desire twice.

Good luck!
I disagree, looks play an important role in the initial attraction, and the genuine desire of a woman wanting to mate on a physical level. I'm done with reading more books, now I'm practicing to get better.


Last night I was in a thanksgiving party. I met this smoking hot 18 y/o latina girl, I was teaching her how to dance. She was giving me a lot of IOIs, like honestly biting her lips, playing with me, touching me, like I've never felt before. Since I was the only one in the party who knew how to dance really well I guess I was the alpha in that environment, at one point she took her high heels off and told me to massage her feet cause she was tired, I didn't do it and teased her with their feet being stinky.

Fast forward to almost the end of the night I managed to isolate her, grab her back and went for the kiss, shockingly she pulled back, I think she is a virgin and don't have a lot of experience with guys? was she nervous? maybe idk, but even though I got rejected I felt like a boss doing it. She's the nanny of a very good friend of mine, so I'll definitely see her again in the future. I guess I don't have a problem after all, I just need to keep trying to get better at it. We'll see.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,534
Reaction score
1,558
Age
47
My social skills is 8-9. I associate with lots of peoplel single, married with family, rich, poor, hard workers, professionals, non-professionals, from different countries.
These two things do not match.....

Fast forward to almost the end of the night I managed to isolate her, grab her back and went for the kiss, shockingly she pulled back, I think she is a virgin and don't have a lot of experience with guys? was she nervous? maybe idk, but even though I got rejected I felt like a boss doing it. She's the nanny of a very good friend of mine, so I'll definitely see her again in the future. I guess I don't have a problem after all, I just need to keep trying to get better at it. We'll see.

If you were so good at social skills you would have read that she was not ready for the kiss from you. Besides...A guy over 30 should have a bottom age of 21. Had I been single during that time, I would have raised my minimum age to 21 when I hit 25....
 

Pedrito0906

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2021
Messages
10
Reaction score
1
Age
32
If you were so good at social skills you would have read that she was not ready for the kiss from you. Besides...A guy over 30 should have a bottom age of 21. Had I been single during that time, I would have raised my minimum age to 21 when I hit 25....
With woman is different, they're alphas in business and other things, but weak with women. That's 2 completely different things.

Not ready to be kissed? Why she needed to tell me kiss me now big boy? The IOIs were there for sure, it doesn't get more obvious, why she pulled back idk.

Where is the rule that says a guy over 30 has to be with girls over 21? wtf advise is that? You with 47 I don't think you're as knowledgeable as you appear to be, tbh.
 
Top