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Getting my boss

Cubrazol

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My current boss has been my boss for around 9 months. She is a lot of fun and intelligent and we enjoy working together. She is 46, married to a rich guy and has two kids. I am a few years younger.

Three months ago she texted me on a weekend and we started some innocent flirting. I used a bit of prizability and co**y/funny and also some serious discussions about life. She is really interested in the same type of literature as I am. We have been texting 5-20 times a day since then always fun and interesting.

During lunch breaks we have gone to photography exhibits together and really enjoyed it.

After a work dinner we went to a bar and had a great time talking. I invited her out to play miniature golf and again we had a really fun time but I did not approach (figuring I could get fired if I misinterpreted her interest).

She invited me out for dinner the next week and during the dinner we kissed in the restaurant.

We went out for dinner again the following week and again kissed in the restaurant. She was worried someone should see her but I had reserved a semiprivate table so things went well. I went to the bathroom as we were leaving and she came in and we made out and I touched her all over but then we left.

All along we acted normal at work even though we have a great time together.

As she is very worried someone might spot her I asked her out last Tuesday and took her to a hotel room figuring I would have sex with her in privacy. Big mistake. I could tell she was not at all ready for this, got nervous and asked me what I wanted to do. I told her I just wanted somewhere we could be alone and not to worry about other people.

She then told me she had a really bad conciense to her husband and that she loves her husband very much but that she also has very strong feelings about me and she loves it when I touch and kiss her. We kissed in the hotel room and I tried escalating but failed. She left and afterwards she told me that she was sad I would not want to see her again now that she made it clear she would not cheat.

We are both on vacation now so we will not see each other in 10 days. I said that I think it is best if we have no contact during the vacation so we can think about what we really want.

What should I do next? I am afraid I will end up in the friend zone. I want to spend my life with her I am not looking for just sex.
 

Dingo

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I have no problem with dating or screwing around with co workers.... Most dating and long term relationships start at work... no big deal.

But a direct boss ?.... A superior ?.... Married ?......

Just don't go there... Too much to lose for both of you.
 

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Murk

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Smashed my boss 3 years ago, ended up in an LTR, after mum died had to let her go, was 5 years my senior, child, muslim (banging hb9 indian), the directors of the company loved her and made it difficult for me. I wouldn't advise smashing a boss unless shes director level.
 

Cubrazol

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I have spent all my days for 9 months with her (she sits next to me at work). We connect on all levels like no one I have met before. She is the one I want to spend my life with in a LTR. I have thought long and hard about this and if she was not so special I would not try anything. If it was just sex I would never risk my job.

I realize she is probably the worst possible target and things can blow up badly.

Now what is the best way to continue if I decide that she is worth it after all?

My thoughts are to pull away hard before pushing:
1. Let her initiate contact after vacation is over
2. Show little interest
3. Decline her first offer to meet (if she offers it)
4. Meet but without touching and finish the meet first
5. Keep doing 4 until we go out and have some drinks
6. Kiss her but then say ”We should not do this”

Your opinion?
 

Cubrazol

Don Juan
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Plenty of young unmarried and childless women out there and around you.

Is there any good rational reason for you to break up a family?
I think she would be happier with me in the long run.

I my last job two married women ended their relationships for a mew one with a co-worker. They are now happier than ever and have children with their new spouses. That is what I am hoping will happen.
 

Spaz

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Had my first "girlfriend" in kindergarten, by 10 I had a steady stream of girls, by 14 had s €x, by 16 I was taking 2-3 virgins per month.

I'm the jerk, the @sshole, the bully, in school. And the girls loved it.

Going into adulthood it was pretty much the same. At 46, I'm still banging young hot women.

But through it all and up to now, I've never broken up a marriage nor have I ever knowingly slept with a married women.

A fvcker like me still play by certain rules.

And I couldn't for the life of me understand why some goody 2 shoes always does some shiet worse then I could possibly do.

Destroying 2 innocent kids life's in their family environment is really fvcked up.
 

Cubrazol

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Don't lie to yourself, this isn't about making her happier, it's about you fulfilling your selfish wants, not needs.
Well of course I want her. I want a LTR with her. We have a great connection and chemistry.
 

Cubrazol

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Had my first "girlfriend" in kindergarten, by 10 I had a steady stream of girls, by 14 had s €x, by 16 I was taking 2-3 virgins per month.

I'm the jerk, the @sshole, the bully, in school. And the girls loved it.

Going into adulthood it was pretty much the same. At 46, I'm still banging young hot women.

But through it all and up to now, I've never broken up a marriage nor have I ever knowingly slept with a married women.

A fvcker like me still play by certain rules.

And I couldn't for the life of me understand why some goody 2 shoes always does some shiet worse then I could possibly do.

Destroying 2 innocent kids life's in their family environment is really fvcked up.
Where I live more than 50 % of all marriages end up in a divorce so it is quite common. It has happened to several of my friends and their kids lives are far from destroyed. The kids are actually better off than before because now their father/mother has been able to find a new partner with whom they are a lot happier and most of them have kids with their new partner. We call it Bonus Families.

I have not had a married woman before (as far as I know) and would not pursue a married woman if I knew she was married - unless she is the one I want to share my life with (as in this case) and I was deadly serious about my feelings about her.
 

Spaz

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Where I live more than 50 % of all marriages end up in a divorce so it is quite common. It has happened to several of my friends and their kids lives are far from destroyed. The kids are actually better off than before because now their father/mother has been able to find a new partner with whom they are a lot happier and most of them have kids with their new partner. We call it Bonus Families.

I have not had a married woman before (as far as I know) and would not pursue a married woman if I knew she was married - unless she is the one I want to share my life with (as in this case) and I was deadly serious about my feelings about her.
50% huh

Is that a reason or an excuse?

Kids better off with a broken family? Seriously?
 

Cubrazol

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50% huh

Is that a reason or an excuse?

Kids better off with a broken family? Seriously?
50% huh

Is that a reason or an excuse?

Kids better off with a broken family? Seriously?
If the parents are happy they create a good life and atmosphere for their kids. My friends who got divorced were unhappy, did not feel appreciated and were sometimed fighting with their partners. Their kids had a lump in their stomach going to bed. My friends now have new partners with whom they are better compatible and are happy and their kids also described it as a relief not having to worry about next time their parents would argue.

So yes a ”broken” family can be better but of course a lot of times it is the other way around.
 

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bigdave17

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My current boss has been my boss for around 9 months. She is a lot of fun and intelligent and we enjoy working together. She is 46, married to a rich guy and has two kids. I am a few years younger.

Three months ago she texted me on a weekend and we started some innocent flirting. I used a bit of prizability and co**y/funny and also some serious discussions about life. She is really interested in the same type of literature as I am. We have been texting 5-20 times a day since then always fun and interesting.

During lunch breaks we have gone to photography exhibits together and really enjoyed it.

After a work dinner we went to a bar and had a great time talking. I invited her out to play miniature golf and again we had a really fun time but I did not approach (figuring I could get fired if I misinterpreted her interest).

She invited me out for dinner the next week and during the dinner we kissed in the restaurant.

We went out for dinner again the following week and again kissed in the restaurant. She was worried someone should see her but I had reserved a semiprivate table so things went well. I went to the bathroom as we were leaving and she came in and we made out and I touched her all over but then we left.

All along we acted normal at work even though we have a great time together.

As she is very worried someone might spot her I asked her out last Tuesday and took her to a hotel room figuring I would have sex with her in privacy. Big mistake. I could tell she was not at all ready for this, got nervous and asked me what I wanted to do. I told her I just wanted somewhere we could be alone and not to worry about other people.

She then told me she had a really bad conciense to her husband and that she loves her husband very much but that she also has very strong feelings about me and she loves it when I touch and kiss her. We kissed in the hotel room and I tried escalating but failed. She left and afterwards she told me that she was sad I would not want to see her again now that she made it clear she would not cheat.

We are both on vacation now so we will not see each other in 10 days. I said that I think it is best if we have no contact during the vacation so we can think about what we really want.

What should I do next? I am afraid I will end up in the friend zone. I want to spend my life with her I am not looking for just sex.

what the **** is wrong with you dude? why would you to settle down with a 46 year old hag who is married and has kids?


Find a nice 34 year old girl who has never been married and has no kids and have a nice life with her. Why take on that much baggage?
 

marmel75

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Had a similar situation once. You just need to relax and let her know its not a big deal. I tried on the 2nd,3rd and 4th dates and got stonewalled when it came to banging her...on the 5th date she gave me a BJ and I fingered hwr and on the 6th date I tore her pvssy to shreds for 3 hours and she loved it...and then after that she couldnt get enough of the D...

Differences were she wasnt a coworker let alone my boss and her and her husband were onlt together in name only...he had a girlfriend he spent the weekends with and they hadnt had sex in well over 2 years.

She likely needs time to come to terms with it and as long as you are cool and continue trying you will break through eventually. Not real smart tho as its your boss.
 
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ohrein

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integrity
ɪnˈtɛɡrɪti/
noun
  1. 1.
    the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.
    "a gentleman of complete integrity"
    synonyms: honesty, uprightness, probity, rectitude, honour, honourableness, upstandingness, good character, principle(s), ethics, morals, righteousness, morality, nobility, high-mindedness, right-mindedness, noble-mindedness, virtue, decency, fairness, scrupulousness, sincerity, truthfulness, trustworthiness
    "I never doubted his integrity"
 

ubercat

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Yep and every time you walk-in to a dark carpark enjoy thinking about whether or not hubby is waiting there with a baseball bat.

Old guys got old because they survived buddy. Do you think you were the first young guy who tried to cut his lunch? think about that
 
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