Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Game development // approach log

FinallyAlpha

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2022
Messages
32
Reaction score
25
Me
  • Early thirties, living overseas."
How I got here
Firstly I want to say what a breath of fresh air this community is. Rollo Tomassi's interview on the Power Project podcast was recommended on my YouTube feed (thanks algorithm). I listened, bought The Rational Male, listened and now I'm here.

I lurched through my twenties, tormented by the refusal of my sex drive to align with the diktats of third wave feminism, postmodernism and cultural Marxism. I really wanted - and tried - to embrace and embody what was expected of me as a good modern man with 'integrity'. And I was thoroughly miserable. Through various experiences watching the culture, leaving a traditional corporate job and experiencing one or two toxic flings and relationships, I am now well on the path of ceasing to apologise for being a man. But I still have work to do to integrate what I fundamentally believe as true with how I see myself, how I speak to myself and how I act and carry myself out in the world. And I think this is a great place to work on this project with conviction.

How I am with women
I lost my virginity when I was 16. At college, I went through some long droughts but had sex a handful of times. During my college years, I was generally confused and unfocused when it came to women. (Oh to have discovered this literature and community at that time. For those of you in your early 20's, well done. Breath it in, it will save you untold hardship.)

As alluded to above, I was much more driven academically and professionally in my early 20's than to try and compete when it came to women. I wanted to save the world. I had a distinct martyrdom complex. As a result, my sexual encounters and relationships were mainly with whatever woman was available at the time I happened to be aroused (invariably being relatively undesirable or unattractive women, let's say). This resulted in many situations where beautiful young women, either showing indications of interest or outright coming onto me, were met with me bumbling, stuttering and running away. Needless to say, these missed opportunities are seared into my memory for life.

Out in the wilderness in my mid-twenties, my expectation was that I needed to find the One with whom I would once and for all cure the scourge of my unpredictable, runaway sex drive and finally become a well-functioning member of society. I had two relationships that I would class as more serious or longer (<1 year) and then several others that were either fck buddies, girls I was dating for a few months or just a 1-2 date thing. The majority of ONS I had in my mid-twenties were forgettable and with women who I wouldn't do it again with.

Things improved a little when I hit the road in my late-twenties and I started to think more seriously about who I was and what I wanted from life. The women I pursued actually turned me on. But my outlook and philosophies were still misaligned with my behaviour and who I was fundamentally. I had one downright bad relationship with a woman to whom I was very attracted but who was toxic, neurotic, co-dependent, flaky. I learned some stuff about myself through that one.

And now into the present. I've been living in the same place overseas for one year now and I have had sex with at least 11 women during that time. Of those 11:
  • 5 were from apps
  • 6 were from 'in real life'
  • 5 were ONS / first date lay with no subsequent meet (all 5 of those followed up with me and tried to initiate another meet but I was not interested).
  • 1 was my girlfriend for 6 months; our relationship ended with me sleeping with another woman, telling her and us both agreeing to end it. I didn't want to stay in the relationship. Despite how it sounds, it actually ended on good terms / 'well'.
  • 5 were not attractive, to varying degrees. (I mean, some of them were bad.)
  • I was really attracted to and really enjoyed having sex with 4 of them.
  • The only one who is really still on the scene and texting me is probably over 40 years old. I met here at a dance class / social, asked for the phone number and closed on the second date. I generally enjoy the sex that we have.
  • 1 was my language teacher who I was very turned on by. We had two classes, then had a date and I closed on the first date. We then had sex again two nights later, but I (politely) sent her home as it was a work night for me and I prioritise good sleep. She's followed up a couple of times since but actually flaked on me last week, so I had planned to just leave it. I'm guessing she may be salty that I did not arrange another language class because she wasn't a great teacher.

In critiquing my current game I would say:
  • I am often (always?) in a mindset of scarcity as opposed to abundance that, I think, produces a thirsty energy towards women when potential opportunities present themselves
  • Traditionally I may have tolerated unattractive or otherwise burdensome women for longer than would be optimal from an alpha viewpoint
  • I think I have a (not-so-)subconscious fear or becoming a simp or catching feelings (and proceeding to undermine myself) with attractive women rather than being assertive and understanding and displaying my intrinsic value as an alpha. So I don't bother.
    • I don't have a lot of money right now. So I tend to feel inferior when it comes to women. My career is in an exciting place at the moment though and I forecast that my income will increase significantly over the next one year onwards.
Depending on how deep we want to go here, I have in the past (and still currently do) reserved the intimate, sexual and romantic side of myself for not-the-most attractive women. Maybe this is because it feels safer to express myself in that way with women who themselves are visibly far from perfect. Otherwise, with attractive women, I have this 'lacking' energy. What is the latest thing I need to compensate for, apologise for, now?

Now that I have identified this, or now that it is conscious, it horrifies me. Obviously, I want to integrate that and actively desire and pursue attractive women. Not just feel frustrated, cheated or humiliated when I see them. My default behavior and conditioning is to only excitedly pursue less attractive, sometimes chubby women. But then I see where I'm at in my life now, the risks I've taken, my prospects, my physique, my intelligence, and I think "I'm a stone cold fcking G. What the fck am I doing?"

How I want to be with women
I want to drastically change my track record with attractive women. (I.e. "I just don't get with 'hot' women".) I have deduced that conditioned low self-esteem is the cause of my avoidance of taking shots with hot women. But I'm old enough now not to let such trivial dogsh1t stand in the way of me being the man I want to be. God knows I deserve attractive women as much as the next guy, and I'm willing to compete for that.

That leads us to the question of where to go from here.

I would list my priorities as follows (in no particular order):
  • Spend more time outside my comfort zone when it comes to game and meeting women
    • I live in a beach town with a fantastic ratio of attractive women around the place, so day game is a skill set that should be very effective.
    • I need to continue learning the local language as I would estimate that 60% of women don't speak English here.
  • Decisively (i.e. consistent study and practise) grow strong game skills
    • First and foremost by continuing to focus on and cultivate my own skills, hobbies and passions that make me the man I want to be
    • Through trial and error in the field
    • Share and discuss my experiences here
    • I will download Rollo Tomassi's new book (the Player's Handbook) and start there

I would be lying if I didn't admit that I'm nervous to start racking up approaches, taking all the rejections on the chin and becoming a DJ. But the alternative of procrastinating through life is much more terrifying.
 
Last edited:

Çharismo

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 2, 2014
Messages
252
Reaction score
183
@FinallyAlpha

Hey man first and foremost I want to congratulate you on your journey so far because it has made you into the man you have become and have the potential to be in the near future. Second…you are humble enough to know and realise that you can always get better and are working on your shortcomings and weaknesses to get to the next level. Third…you have enough self-awareness to know where you stand in life not only financially but with women as well (which is very difficult for most men to accept). So again congratulations to you MA G!!!! because you posting on this website is just another step for you to get to the next level.

One thing you have to appreciate is that you are still young, in great shape, have your health, are able bodied, and most of all in your right senses…but the thing I want you to reflect on is what direction do you want to take your life? What is your overall goal in trying to approach women? What type of a life and or lifestyle do you want? What are you trying to achieve? Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Society is designed for you to stay deaf, dumb, and blind. Society doesn’t want you to attain wisdom, use critical thinking, and most of all exercise the right judgement and decision making in your life. Society will tell you that you need to be married by a certain age, make a certain amount of money, look a certain way, go to school, get “educated”, follow a religion, believe this god or that god and basically will try to get you to settle for what you can get. Always remember that being average and mediocrity go hand in hand but the question is do you want to be average? like the sheep? like the masses?…basically like everyone else…sleep walking through life…hypnotised and in a trance like state not fully using or even being aware of their faculties but rather numbing themselves with drugs, food, alcohol, sex, gambling, the media, or any other addiction or distraction that consumes them that they have no control over. You must figure out how to break free of the shackles and maximise your full potential which I know you will.

I tell you what…women are just an aspect of life but approaching women is not easy because even as skilled as I am I myself hesitate, get anxiety or even chicken out sometimes. But I know anything worth attaining…whether you want to get good talking to women, learning a subject, language or a skill takes time and with enough practice, study, persistence, and patience you will come out on top like the champion that you are.

Finally I leave you with a quote…

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation…” - Henry David Thoreau

But the real question is are you going to be one of them or forge your own path because society will try to sell you a dream but you gotta be asleep to live.

Stay swoll ma G!!!! and keep us updated on your progress.
 

FinallyAlpha

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2022
Messages
32
Reaction score
25
@FinallyAlpha
...what direction do you want to take your life? What is your overall goal in trying to approach women? What type of a life and or lifestyle do you want? What are you trying to achieve? Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Hey - thanks for taking the time to reply and for the kind words. You asked some helpful questions, so let me reflect on those for a moment.

As to life direction, I would list my life priorities in the following order:
  1. Continue to build wealth and become elite in my industry. Progressively earn the respect of my peers as a disciplined, dedicated, highly skilled professional and continue to build exciting professional relationships. Cultivate a community of great friends and colleagues through my career. Ultimately though, reap the financial rewards in the next 2-7 years that my hard work has earned me.
  2. Continue to become a well-rounded man. I would say this is where women come into it. Within this aspect of my life, I would list:
    1. Friendship: I really believe in it. Just be a good friend. Invest time in friendship (the key word being 'invest' as opposed to 'donate). ROI in friendship, in my opinion, includes the memories you make of all the crazy **** that you can laugh about, having people you can call just to shoot the ****, having people you can laugh with and be a jackass, having people who will support you when you stumble and people who you offer the same support to. These are the everyday people in your life.
    2. Family: Be there for family. Continue to heal wounds. Be mature and integrated in family life.
    3. Women, intimacy, romance: I'll talk about this a little below as you asked about it specifically and it's the main reason I came to SoSuave.
  3. Continue to invest heavily in skills and hobbies:
    1. The gym has become a key part of my life and I want to continue to crush that with consistency so I can see how far I build my physical body. As I am so tall, lifting regularly is great for my confidence. And I generally derive a positive sense of self and physical and mental health from working out a lot.
    2. Learning languages, reading more, becoming confident in dance (at social events).
  4. Accumulate further enriching life experiences
    1. Travel - there are many parts of the world that I would still like to see, and the more I dedicate myself to my career, the greater opportunities I will have to experience different cultures and places
As to life and lifestyle, eventually I want to be less nomadic and find somewhere (that I love) that becomes a true base, possibly invest in real estate there and have exciting projects that afford me the opportunity to visit places that I care about.

Ultimately, there are aspects of wanting to make positive contributions in the world too, whether through my work (by, say for example, employing people) or raising a family of my own, or perhaps on a different scale of, say, working more in the developing world (something which I have done in the past).

That's kind of my outlook on life in a nutshell.

Man, I have a woman visiting my place right this minute. But I wanted to get some sort of an update off. I'm determined to update once-a-week, but there will be another update coming this week because I want to reply to your post more, update on some recent experiences I've been having with women, and reflect on some further goals and ideas around women, sex and life.
 

Çharismo

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 2, 2014
Messages
252
Reaction score
183
Hey - thanks for taking the time to reply and for the kind words. You asked some helpful questions, so let me reflect on those for a moment.

As to life direction, I would list my life priorities in the following order:
  1. Continue to build wealth and become elite in my industry. Progressively earn the respect of my peers as a disciplined, dedicated, highly skilled professional and continue to build exciting professional relationships. Cultivate a community of great friends and colleagues through my career. Ultimately though, reap the financial rewards in the next 2-7 years that my hard work has earned me.
  2. Continue to become a well-rounded man. I would say this is where women come into it. Within this aspect of my life, I would list:
    1. Friendship: I really believe in it. Just be a good friend. Invest time in friendship (the key word being 'invest' as opposed to 'donate). ROI in friendship, in my opinion, includes the memories you make of all the crazy **** that you can laugh about, having people you can call just to shoot the ****, having people you can laugh with and be a jackass, having people who will support you when you stumble and people who you offer the same support to. These are the everyday people in your life.
    2. Family: Be there for family. Continue to heal wounds. Be mature and integrated in family life.
    3. Women, intimacy, romance: I'll talk about this a little below as you asked about it specifically and it's the main reason I came to SoSuave.
  3. Continue to invest heavily in skills and hobbies:
    1. The gym has become a key part of my life and I want to continue to crush that with consistency so I can see how far I build my physical body. As I am so tall, lifting regularly is great for my confidence. And I generally derive a positive sense of self and physical and mental health from working out a lot.
    2. Learning languages, reading more, becoming confident in dance (at social events).
  4. Accumulate further enriching life experiences
    1. Travel - there are many parts of the world that I would still like to see, and the more I dedicate myself to my career, the greater opportunities I will have to experience different cultures and places
As to life and lifestyle, eventually I want to be less nomadic and find somewhere (that I love) that becomes a true base, possibly invest in real estate there and have exciting projects that afford me the opportunity to visit places that I care about.

Ultimately, there are aspects of wanting to make positive contributions in the world too, whether through my work (by, say for example, employing people) or raising a family of my own, or perhaps on a different scale of, say, working more in the developing world (something which I have done in the past).

That's kind of my outlook on life in a nutshell.

Man, I have a woman visiting my place right this minute. But I wanted to get some sort of an update off. I'm determined to update once-a-week, but there will be another update coming this week because I want to reply to your post more, update on some recent experiences I've been having with women, and reflect on some further goals and ideas around women, sex and life.
Your absolutely welcome!

The goals and aspirations that you have are noble and I’ve actually done a lot of those things and continue to do so myself…as you mentioned it’s part of becoming a well rounded man. Again anything is possible in this world (of course within reason) so continue to strive and challenge yourself as you grow because the ROI is well worth it.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,030
Reaction score
4,758
Age
31
Me
  • 32
  • 2 metres tall
  • Professionally qualified in competitive industry with high earning potential.
  • Left said industry to pursue alternative career leaving me broke for 2-3 years. Now living independently overseas but still grinding hard, building my career.
  • Athletic build, naturally low body fat. Current lifts:
    • Bench press: 220lbs for 4-5 reps
    • Dead lift: 330lbs for 4-5 reps
    • Leg press: 330lbs for 4-5 reps
  • Have maybe one alcoholic drink per week, sometimes more, sometimes none. Generally don't enjoy drinking.
How I got here
Firstly I want to say what a breath of fresh air this community is. Rollo Tomassi's interview on the Power Project podcast was recommended on my YouTube feed (thanks algorithm). I listened, bought The Rational Male, listened and now I'm here.

I lurched through my twenties, tormented by the refusal of my sex drive to align with the diktats of third wave feminism, postmodernism and cultural Marxism. I really wanted - and tried - to embrace and embody what was expected of me as a good modern man with 'integrity'. And I was thoroughly miserable. Through various experiences watching the culture, leaving a traditional corporate job and experiencing one or two toxic flings and relationships, I am now well on the path of ceasing to apologise for being a man. But I still have work to do to integrate what I fundamentally believe as true with how I see myself, how I speak to myself and how I act and carry myself out in the world. And I think this is a great place to work on this project with conviction.

How I am with women
I lost my virginity when I was 16. At college, I went through some long droughts but had sex a handful of times. During my college years, I was generally confused and unfocused when it came to women. (Oh to have discovered this literature and community at that time. For those of you in your early 20's, well done. Breath it in, it will save you untold hardship.)

As alluded to above, I was much more driven academically and professionally in my early 20's than to try and compete when it came to women. I wanted to save the world. I had a distinct martyrdom complex. As a result, my sexual encounters and relationships were mainly with whatever woman was available at the time I happened to be aroused (invariably being relatively undesirable or unattractive women, let's say). This resulted in many situations where beautiful young women, either showing indications of interest or outright coming onto me, were met with me bumbling, stuttering and running away. Needless to say, these missed opportunities are seared into my memory for life.

Out in the wilderness in my mid-twenties, my expectation was that I needed to find the One with whom I would once and for all cure the scourge of my unpredictable, runaway sex drive and finally become a well-functioning member of society. I had two relationships that I would class as more serious or longer (<1 year) and then several others that were either fck buddies, girls I was dating for a few months or just a 1-2 date thing. The majority of ONS I had in my mid-twenties were forgettable and with women who I wouldn't do it again with.

Things improved a little when I hit the road in my late-twenties and I started to think more seriously about who I was and what I wanted from life. The women I pursued actually turned me on. But my outlook and philosophies were still misaligned with my behaviour and who I was fundamentally. I had one downright bad relationship with a woman to whom I was very attracted but who was toxic, neurotic, co-dependent, flaky. I learned some stuff about myself through that one.

And now into the present. I've been living in the same place overseas for one year now and I have had sex with at least 11 women during that time. Of those 11:
  • 5 were from apps
  • 6 were from 'in real life'
  • 5 were ONS / first date lay with no subsequent meet (all 5 of those followed up with me and tried to initiate another meet but I was not interested).
  • 1 was my girlfriend for 6 months; our relationship ended with me sleeping with another woman, telling her and us both agreeing to end it. I didn't want to stay in the relationship. Despite how it sounds, it actually ended on good terms / 'well'.
  • 5 were not attractive, to varying degrees. (I mean, some of them were bad.)
  • I was really attracted to and really enjoyed having sex with 4 of them.
  • The only one who is really still on the scene and texting me is probably over 40 years old. I met here at a dance class / social, asked for the phone number and closed on the second date. I generally enjoy the sex that we have.
  • 1 was my language teacher who I was very turned on by. We had two classes, then had a date and I closed on the first date. We then had sex again two nights later, but I (politely) sent her home as it was a work night for me and I prioritise good sleep. She's followed up a couple of times since but actually flaked on me last week, so I had planned to just leave it. I'm guessing she may be salty that I did not arrange another language class because she wasn't a great teacher.

In critiquing my current game I would say:
  • I am often (always?) in a mindset of scarcity as opposed to abundance that, I think, produces a thirsty energy towards women when potential opportunities present themselves
  • Traditionally I may have tolerated unattractive or otherwise burdensome women for longer than would be optimal from an alpha viewpoint
  • I think I have a (not-so-)subconscious fear or becoming a simp or catching feelings (and proceeding to undermine myself) with attractive women rather than being assertive and understanding and displaying my intrinsic value as an alpha. So I don't bother.
    • I don't have a lot of money right now. So I tend to feel inferior when it comes to women. My career is in an exciting place at the moment though and I forecast that my income will increase significantly over the next one year onwards.
Depending on how deep we want to go here, I have in the past (and still currently do) reserved the intimate, sexual and romantic side of myself for not-the-most attractive women. Maybe this is because it feels safer to express myself in that way with women who themselves are visibly far from perfect. Otherwise, with attractive women, I have this 'lacking' energy. What is the latest thing I need to compensate for, apologise for, now?

Now that I have identified this, or now that it is conscious, it horrifies me. Obviously, I want to integrate that and actively desire and pursue attractive women. Not just feel frustrated, cheated or humiliated when I see them. My default behavior and conditioning is to only excitedly pursue less attractive, sometimes chubby women. But then I see where I'm at in my life now, the risks I've taken, my prospects, my physique, my intelligence, and I think "I'm a stone cold fcking G. What the fck am I doing?"

How I want to be with women
I want to drastically change my track record with attractive women. (I.e. "I just don't get with 'hot' women".) I have deduced that conditioned low self-esteem is the cause of my avoidance of taking shots with hot women. But I'm old enough now not to let such trivial dogsh1t stand in the way of me being the man I want to be. God knows I deserve attractive women as much as the next guy, and I'm willing to compete for that.

That leads us to the question of where to go from here.

I would list my priorities as follows (in no particular order):
  • Spend more time outside my comfort zone when it comes to game and meeting women
    • I live in a beach town with a fantastic ratio of attractive women around the place, so day game is a skill set that should be very effective.
    • I need to continue learning the local language as I would estimate that 60% of women don't speak English here.
  • Decisively (i.e. consistent study and practise) grow strong game skills
    • First and foremost by continuing to focus on and cultivate my own skills, hobbies and passions that make me the man I want to be
    • Through trial and error in the field
    • Share and discuss my experiences here
    • I will download Rollo Tomassi's new book (the Player's Handbook) and start there

I would be lying if I didn't admit that I'm nervous to start racking up approaches, taking all the rejections on the chin and becoming a DJ. But the alternative of procrastinating through life is much more terrifying.
@FinallyAlpha mate, it's good you read BUT you have to approach. There's far too many YouTube pods, ebooks, and shilling rubbish programs. 0 receipts. Far too much fraudin up in this *****.

You got to go out. Log off. Turn off YouTube. Approach. Get girls. Take absurd amounts of action. As simple as approach a handful of girls everyday. If noon say hi. If advanced pull from go.

Forget reading. Go get girls. Read after you have accumulated experience. You can find all kinds of stuff online free but the difference from the old school MM days and today is the talk. Everyone wants to hold hands on that phaggy times pods about divorce or hours on mikalya Peterson. God forbid someone actually went and approached.

Respect on the hustle and career change. Start approaching now. Sure use ig and OLD but nut up and approach irl. A book is cute. A pod is cuter. It's not getting you laid. You need to shoot your shot. Then look into resources.

Set goals. Work volume. Scoop the book after the weeks of approaches and pulling. There's too much paralysis of analysis on YouTube and no receipts. Chest beating and call outs. YouTube hissy fits. Grab old school MM after you've approached do much you lost count.
 

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FinallyAlpha

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2022
Messages
32
Reaction score
25
Your absolutely welcome!

The goals and aspirations that you have are noble and I’ve actually done a lot of those things and continue to do so myself…as you mentioned it’s part of becoming a well rounded man. Again anything is possible in this world (of course within reason) so continue to strive and challenge yourself as you grow because the ROI is well worth it.
I agree with you that I think it's important to pause every so often and think about where we want to take life, what we want to build and what kind of experiences we want to have to with women. And I am 100% honest in what I wrote above about my life direction. I thought though after I wrote it that it might come off as a little 'virtue signal-ly'. It's all true and it reflects my personality. But ultimately I want to have more and better quality sexual and dating experiences and that's why I'm on SS; I want to improve my Game.

I used to fantasize about a blissful monogamy in my future. But now that I'm a little older and wiser, I'm not sure. Maybe there is a solid form of monogamy in my future. Where I team up with a woman to build the family part of the legacy. If I was to guess, I would say that's something I can see myself doing. But that's not going to happen any time soon. And there is a perfectly contented version of my future in which that doesn't happen. I struggle with the notion of monogamy and trust (due, in part, to a somewhat fractured upbringing) but hopefully I won't stop learning and growing and, who knows.

But right now I want to be honest with you and myself. This thread would merely be some sort of ego masturbation if I wasn't being honest. Because I want to develop strong game and I need to reveal my weaknesses in order to do that.

The honest truth is that I want to fck a lot. I want to have sex with more women. More attractive women. I want to continue having interesting, memorable experiences with women. And I want to build the skill set that will allow me to do that. As Rollo Tomassi says - and on which I agree with him - game skills have value not only in pursuing intimacy with women but also in one's family life, professional life, social life etc.

My general life grind is pretty intense and strong at the moment. I am taking my career seriously, I am taking my health and fitness seriously. And I feel I have an opportunity, while I'm building and growing 'Money' and 'Muscles' to now also focus in a deliberate way on 'Game'.
 

FinallyAlpha

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2022
Messages
32
Reaction score
25
@FinallyAlpha mate, it's good you read BUT you have to approach. There's far too many YouTube pods, ebooks, and shilling rubbish programs. 0 receipts. Far too much fraudin up in this *****.

You got to go out. Log off. Turn off YouTube. Approach. Get girls. Take absurd amounts of action. As simple as approach a handful of girls everyday. If noon say hi. If advanced pull from go.

Forget reading. Go get girls. Read after you have accumulated experience. You can find all kinds of stuff online free but the difference from the old school MM days and today is the talk. Everyone wants to hold hands on that phaggy times pods about divorce or hours on mikalya Peterson. God forbid someone actually went and approached.

Respect on the hustle and career change. Start approaching now. Sure use ig and OLD but nut up and approach irl. A book is cute. A pod is cuter. It's not getting you laid. You need to shoot your shot. Then look into resources.

Set goals. Work volume. Scoop the book after the weeks of approaches and pulling. There's too much paralysis of analysis on YouTube and no receipts. Chest beating and call outs. YouTube hissy fits. Grab old school MM after you've approached do much you lost count.
@DEEZEDBRAH I must say, thanks, I guess. You hit me with it right between the eyes and I'm grateful. I went out tonight and took direct action inspired by your post.

I live on this crazy street. It's the main street down town and has literally thousands of people walking up and down on it all day. I came home this evening, put on my best shirt for the ladies, and walked out.

Here's my approach log
• Walked out 1915 in the evening
• Feeling nervous and excited about the idea of approaching: stomach , farting , adrenaline
• Plan: approach local women, speaking the local language (which I'm learning) and tell them they're cute and I want to practice talking with them
•Observation: I don’t like the idea of doing it on my street around people who recognize me (these are street vendors, drug dealers, just normal working people, so it's kind of fcked that I GAF what they think, but yeah...)
• Observation: I don't like the idea of doing it around anyone who can see , overhear. (Worst case scenario they might joke or tease or comment. Again, who GAF. But unfortunately how it felt.......)
• Approach 1:
○ 20:00 cute girl walking on the beach
○ Walked past her on the beach, made eye contact, zero IOIs. She looked generally pissed, bothered, bored at life (as most women do (?)). With zero IOIs (smile, prolonged eye contact etc. what are some other good ones for cold IRL approaches?) I resolved to leave it.
○ As I was walking off the beach, I saw her again sitting cleaning her feet. I sat and did the same and went for the approach
○ Startled when I said hello. Like visibly a bit 'WTF' for a fraction of a second. I went for the plan (above)
○ But had conversation in second language. It was good. It flowed. I thought I was somewhat charming and engaging even though I'm not fluent.
○ Opened with I need to learn the language and you’re cute so I want to practise with you
○ Eventually tried to escalate and suggest we continue practising over a drink
○ Said she couldn’t had to go home
○ Told her to give me her number and she said she couldn’t
○ Asked if she had a boyfriend, yes, goodnight

Prior to this approach I had, I think, 4 of what I would describe as possible spots to approach and I choked. So actually making this approach was a big W for me. Action, right.

Honestly, even if I had walked out tonight and come back without an approach, it's progress to be going out with this mindset. This is uncharted territory for me and I know it will take many trials and errors before I'm solid, walking out consistently, feeling good, approaching left, right and center.

After the beach girl, I walked to a local hotel / bar and sat in the bar. It's a kind of hipster vibe and is a good place to meet people. I chatted the barman and two other guys as I ordered my drink (mineral water). There was a table of two girls playing jenga. After a few minutes I swiveled on the barstool and asked (I know we don't approve of asking on SS :/) "hey guys - can I join your game?". The one who spoke to me was from the brief seconds that I was looking at her face, gorgeous. And English. Her friend was not as cute but still cute. She said "oh, we were just about to eat, but afterwards?" I said ok and turned back around. I didn't feel particularly awkward or judged by anyone around me.

What I did next I thought was quite smooth. Instead of sitting at the bar a few feet from them as the guy was plating up their food; in the atmosphere where I just tried to join their table and was rejected. I stood up a few short minutes later and walked across the bar, where there was a chess board set up and a guy sitting nearby it. He was really the only other guy in the bar. I asked him did he know how to play and we proceeded to have a fun game of chess. I thought this displayed that I couldn't care less about not being about to sit and play jenga with the cuties and I was in fact just there to be engaging and meet people and hang out. I enjoyed my game of chess and my evening out.

But yeah, thanks for the inspiration.
 

FinallyAlpha

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It's the logistics of approaching that I find most difficult to wrap my head around. I've been following many threads on SS over the past weeks and some that mention hotspots for approaching. But like, when we're on a street say, and we see cutie and want to approach... we just stop her walking? Do women not walk kind of fast like they're on their way to a UN Security Council meeting? There are infinite people where I live trying to sell you things as you walk; it's annoying. I don't like being stopped when I'm walking.

And say we get rejected, ok. We just walk in the same direction as her except a bit faster? Like fcking Fogel in Superbad? or do we just do shuttles up and down the street all day until we get laid?

I mean, this seems like some sort of black magic.
 

FinallyAlpha

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I have a long list of other spots and questions to float here but I'll log off for now and update again next week.
 

Çharismo

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I agree with you that I think it's important to pause every so often and think about where we want to take life, what we want to build and what kind of experiences we want to have to with women. And I am 100% honest in what I wrote above about my life direction. I thought though after I wrote it that it might come off as a little 'virtue signal-ly'. It's all true and it reflects my personality. But ultimately I want to have more and better quality sexual and dating experiences and that's why I'm on SS; I want to improve my Game.

I used to fantasize about a blissful monogamy in my future. But now that I'm a little older and wiser, I'm not sure. Maybe there is a solid form of monogamy in my future. Where I team up with a woman to build the family part of the legacy. If I was to guess, I would say that's something I can see myself doing. But that's not going to happen any time soon. And there is a perfectly contented version of my future in which that doesn't happen. I struggle with the notion of monogamy and trust (due, in part, to a somewhat fractured upbringing) but hopefully I won't stop learning and growing and, who knows.

But right now I want to be honest with you and myself. This thread would merely be some sort of ego masturbation if I wasn't being honest. Because I want to develop strong game and I need to reveal my weaknesses in order to do that.

The honest truth is that I want to fck a lot. I want to have sex with more women. More attractive women. I want to continue having interesting, memorable experiences with women. And I want to build the skill set that will allow me to do that. As Rollo Tomassi says - and on which I agree with him - game skills have value not only in pursuing intimacy with women but also in one's family life, professional life, social life etc.

My general life grind is pretty intense and strong at the moment. I am taking my career seriously, I am taking my health and fitness seriously. And I feel I have an opportunity, while I'm building and growing 'Money' and 'Muscles' to now also focus in a deliberate way on 'Game'.
It’s understandable that you want to date better quality women (who doesn’t and they are out there) but what you need to do is qualify and evaluate whether or not you can allow these women into your life because I can tell you from experience…just because a woman looks good doesn’t mean that she won’t be a psycho or become a stalker (I’ve had my fair share and it’s not as fun as you might think).

You need to have certain criteria that you need to figure out as you date more women as to whether or not she will be a good fit for you and don’t compromise on that. For example, does she meet your physical standards? Does she take care of her health? Is she easy to talk to? Is she kind? Does she listen and pay attention when you talk to her? How is she around kids? Does she understand the value of a dollar? Does she have a job? Is she financially responsible? Is she combative?…are just some of the things you need to evaluate for before you take a woman seriously. Until proven otherwise…you need to be extremely shrewd and ruthless in your decision making. Just because you want to have sex with beautiful women (again who doesn’t) also means that you need to be careful in your selection.

As for learning “game” it’s not just one thing that you have to learn and it will do the trick…but rather a combination of humor, touching, teasing, learning to gab (talking), listening, building rapport, and other aspects of communication and most of all knowing the right timing to implement all of these in order to connect effectively. Once you get good at the “game” it’s like doing the dance without having to think about dancing…its like you see the code in the matrix but it takes practice, persistence, and most all pattern recognition. With time you will pick up on the nuances and subtle forms of communication…but you need to be in the trenches/field in order for you to learn.

For example when a woman is in your proximity, hovering around you, body facing you but head facing to the side, sticking her tongue out, licking her lips, fixing herself, bumping into you …are just some obvious ways that women approach guys or try to get their attention so they talk to them. And yes I’ve had attractive women behave this way as well so it’s not just ugly girls that do that. But the point is that you have to be observant and ready to take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves.

“Game” is also different for different personality types but you want to be somewhere in the middle of playful and serious which in my opinion is the right balance to strike but again you have to know when to implement what. I was also going to recommend taking an improvisational class to get better at thinking fast on your feet and working on developing a wicked sense of humor if you can. Once you get the fundamentals down then you can work on other things. I don’t want to overload you with information but keep sharing your progress and you know what they say..

If you stay ready…you ain’t gotta get ready…
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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@DEEZEDBRAH I must say, thanks, I guess. You hit me with it right between the eyes and I'm grateful. I went out tonight and took direct action inspired by your post.

I live on this crazy street. It's the main street down town and has literally thousands of people walking up and down on it all day. I came home this evening, put on my best shirt for the ladies, and walked out.

Here's my approach log
• Walked out 1915 in the evening
• Feeling nervous and excited about the idea of approaching: stomach , farting , adrenaline
• Plan: approach local women, speaking the local language (which I'm learning) and tell them they're cute and I want to practice talking with them
•Observation: I don’t like the idea of doing it on my street around people who recognize me (these are street vendors, drug dealers, just normal working people, so it's kind of fcked that I GAF what they think, but yeah...)
• Observation: I don't like the idea of doing it around anyone who can see , overhear. (Worst case scenario they might joke or tease or comment. Again, who GAF. But unfortunately how it felt.......)
• Approach 1:
○ 20:00 cute girl walking on the beach
○ Walked past her on the beach, made eye contact, zero IOIs. She looked generally pissed, bothered, bored at life (as most women do (?)). With zero IOIs (smile, prolonged eye contact etc. what are some other good ones for cold IRL approaches?) I resolved to leave it.
○ As I was walking off the beach, I saw her again sitting cleaning her feet. I sat and did the same and went for the approach
○ Startled when I said hello. Like visibly a bit 'WTF' for a fraction of a second. I went for the plan (above)
○ But had conversation in second language. It was good. It flowed. I thought I was somewhat charming and engaging even though I'm not fluent.
○ Opened with I need to learn the language and you’re cute so I want to practise with you
○ Eventually tried to escalate and suggest we continue practising over a drink
○ Said she couldn’t had to go home
○ Told her to give me her number and she said she couldn’t
○ Asked if she had a boyfriend, yes, goodnight

Prior to this approach I had, I think, 4 of what I would describe as possible spots to approach and I choked. So actually making this approach was a big W for me. Action, right.

Honestly, even if I had walked out tonight and come back without an approach, it's progress to be going out with this mindset. This is uncharted territory for me and I know it will take many trials and errors before I'm solid, walking out consistently, feeling good, approaching left, right and center.

After the beach girl, I walked to a local hotel / bar and sat in the bar. It's a kind of hipster vibe and is a good place to meet people. I chatted the barman and two other guys as I ordered my drink (mineral water). There was a table of two girls playing jenga. After a few minutes I swiveled on the barstool and asked (I know we don't approve of asking on SS :/) "hey guys - can I join your game?". The one who spoke to me was from the brief seconds that I was looking at her face, gorgeous. And English. Her friend was not as cute but still cute. She said "oh, we were just about to eat, but afterwards?" I said ok and turned back around. I didn't feel particularly awkward or judged by anyone around me.

What I did next I thought was quite smooth. Instead of sitting at the bar a few feet from them as the guy was plating up their food; in the atmosphere where I just tried to join their table and was rejected. I stood up a few short minutes later and walked across the bar, where there was a chess board set up and a guy sitting nearby it. He was really the only other guy in the bar. I asked him did he know how to play and we proceeded to have a fun game of chess. I thought this displayed that I couldn't care less about not being about to sit and play jenga with the cuties and I was in fact just there to be engaging and meet people and hang out. I enjoyed my game of chess and my evening out.

But yeah, thanks for the inspiration.
Good stuff man. Similar to @nicksaiz65 do a boot camp if you need. Take action. Get rollos new book. Read MM which is still t9 this day the foundation of most pickup and cold approach. Fundamentally I don't disagree with rp. I'm just aware listening to 6 day long pods on McKayla Peterson or hypergamy rants will get you 0 play. most of YouTube is shilling rubbish. is married and a house husband. Has 0 receipts but buy my rubbish program or ebooks. tate went off on frauds.

Vet your guru. Read yes but GO OUT. There's far too much word play online YouTube and no receipts or infield. The game is all about action and results.

It takes 0 effort to be a spectator and next to none for a pod. Actually going put takes effort. Anybody who says it's easy DOESN'T GO OUT AND HASN'T SEEN VAGINA before let alone in in 2022. The game is never been harder. The quality is low. Your competition is awful case guys don't go out. At the highest level the competition is fierce but even then most fellas are socially retarded. Are trying to use money and wackkk Game.

You will get savage feedback leaving the house. Get better. Not bitter.
 

FinallyAlpha

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Hi guys -

Circumstances permitting, I'm going to post on this thread once-a-week for a year, updating on all aspects of how my game is coming along. The format I have in mind, for now, is to divide the posts into questions or thoughts for the community with some words as to why I have I have them (i.e. an experience in my life that I would like to bounce off you guys).

Wedding game
I'm attending a friend's wedding soon.

Any specific tips on wedding game?


Masseuse
I hurt my back deadlifting, so I've been getting chiro and massage done at a local place, with my favourite masseuse. We're two sessions into this course of treatment and I'm very attracted to her. I don't STFU during sessions and I often have her in fits of laughter. From my experience, I would say that there is a vibe and some sexual tension. She does, after all, have me stripped to my boxers rubbing my body.

But this is her job. Lots of local guys use her because she is good. So although I may get a buzz off her massaging me; there is a good chance that she doesn't. Her studio is professional, clean, smells great and she plays sexy music. Which creates a sexy vibe for me; but, again, probably not for her. I would say her personality is timid and unassuming and then she fvcks you up with these hands and elbows of steel. She often has her elbow lodged in my bare ass cheek which I find entertaining.

I've been here before though, a jolly, entertaining vibe with a girl which does not lead to the elusive pvss. I think I may have even left it too long at this stage (two sessions) to let my feelings be known. But I have another appointment with her coming up and I plan on making a move.

I have a couple of ideas:
  • When I arrive, we do the small talk and she tells me to strip off and lie face down, I'm thinking of saying "this week I thought that perhaps you could take off all your clothes and lie on the bed, to mix things up." (I just laughed at myself as I wrote that.)
  • Asking her how to say "I think you're really cute" in the local language and when she says it, I say "thanks". And then ask her how to say "[my name], I think you're very sexy and I want you to take me out." and when she says it, I say ok.

There may also be a chance that there's a boyfriend in the picture, but let's see.

What are your thoughts on masseuses, in general? Any advice I can take into account ahead of shooting my shot?

Observations out walking on Sunday night, 1 May
I was walking on an extremely busy pedestrianized street. It dawned on me that we literally have 1-2 seconds to act on eye contact. I.e. to say "hi". I still feel adrenaline / fight or flight in these situations, when I'm trying to solve whether to approach (this 'pre-approach' phase). My body tries to tell me that it's dangerous. This is natural for me as I've only started to think about game deliberately some short weeks ago.

When a woman is walking by, in the opposite direction, and she holds eye contact for noticeably longer than 'normal', what's the play? Is approaching in these circumstances a thing or is it known to be a difficult proposition? What are some good openers? Anyone have a link to some good material?

I remember one girl distinctly. She was ****ing hot, from the brief glimpse I got of her. And she seemed relatively 'approachable'; in the sense that it seemed like she was out for a stroll as opposed to being on her way somewhere. She had made an effort on her appearance too, which suggests to me that she wanted to do something that night. As we walked by each other, I vaguely remember eye contact but I can't say that there was a clear IOI. I was stopped in my tracks though, and as I stood on the side pretending to be checking my phone and I looked back at her walking away, I saw the semi-transparent trousers with the thong.

As I turned back to walk in the other direction after her, I saw that she had turned off the main street and onto a side street. Again, she was just strolling. I chose not to follow her.

When you walk by each other, and you choose to turn around and walk after her, when does following her start to get weird? (Seems like kind of an obvious question: it's a function of how long you are following her with actually approaching her. If I had walked up the side street after her and introduced myself, it would have been fine.)

Continuing on my way, I walked past a bar, and the girl outside (wearing a covid mask) basically stared at me for a couple of seconds as I walked by. I kept eye contact with her and just smiled / smirked as I walked by. She worked at the place. She was holding the menu, trying to get people to come into the bar. So, maybe that's just her strategy. Stare at men, make them feel something so they'll come into the bar. Cool. Maybe not. After dinner (at another place) with my friends, we were walking in the opposite direction down the same street. I had forgotten about the girl working outside the bar, but as we were walking by, she was still there and this time, she gave me a wave and a "hi". I said hi back.

A few yards on, I thought, I can't choke the spot twice. So I doubled back and got her phone number. It really wasn't smooth how it went down. Firstly, it was very noisy and there were tonnes of people coming and going. But then there was my approach. I asked could I see the menu and asked her what she would recommend. Then I told her I didn't care about the menu and actually came back to talk to her because she was cute. But I didn't know the word for cute and she had to tell me. She pulled down her face mask and she was, indeed, cute. I told her to give me her number, she hesitated and I asked did she have a boyfriend. She said no and then I said ok give me your number. She called out her number and I typed it into my phone. She corrected one of the numbers as I typed which makes me think it's not a fake number. I said "maybe we can go to the beach or go out for a drink." Then said goodnight.

The slight hesitation makes me think her eye contact and friendliness were more her doing her job than an IOI. In any event, I sent the text on Monday evening, around 20 hours after getting the number. I wrote "hi [X], it was nice to meet you last night. How are you?"

Update on Wednesday: She didn't text back so learn from it and #next.

After getting a phone number, what is the optimal time before we send the text? What are some good text openers?
 

FinallyAlpha

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TLDR guy is back again.

Café game
I had a fun encounter with a girl in my local café one morning last week. As I approached the door of the place, she was standing in the way with one hand on the door, facing her friend at a nearby outdoor table, discussing something. Seemed like a dumb place to stand. I got pretty close to her as I approached the door and we made eye contact and she moved.

I joined the queue just inside the door and she kept poking her head in like she was lost. When she opened it the next time, I said to her "so you don't have a mask?". she said "no". I took mine off and said "here, use this." She laughed and said that she had already ordered, so it's fine.

I forgot about the interaction, ordered at the counter and took a seat at a stool facing the barista machine while I waited to be called. A few moments passed and this girl skipped over to me and asked "now can I borrow it?". Turns out, she did in fact have to go to the counter to order and she needed a face mask. I said "I'm actually renting it out." She didn't get it - English wasn't her first language apparently. Up close, I liked what I saw, big eyes, good lips, good teeth, deep tan, great hair, cheeky expression. She was wearing a bikini under a kind of... garment (?) draped around her hips. The fact that she wanted to wear my (a stranger's) used covid mask turned me on, honestly. Obviously, got me thinking what else she might be down for.

When she gave me the vacant "what?" I said "ten dollars for the mask." My expression was fully deadpan up to this point. She was staring at me trying to figure out if I was serious. Then we both smiled and she said "oh, then I don't want it", before snapping the mask out of my hand and turning back to the counter. I must say that, at this point, I was very hopeful.

My drink was called and I walked outside. I waited there for maybe 45 seconds before she ran out, handed me the mask and said thanks. I held the mask and said "you made me wait." Again she was a bit slow to get it. But she said "oh, right." or something to that effect. Then she quickly turned and skipped right back into the café. As she was turning I said "come here, come here" but, nah, she was gone. She grabbed her drinks and went to sit with her friend, and I walked away with a smile. I must say, I was very turned on by her. My read is that she has a man - because she was engaging well but then skipped away quickly.

Do we ever re-approach in a spot like that? Approach the table and make a bold invitation? Or was walking away always the only play?
 

FinallyAlpha

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Gym game

My current gym is the craziest I've ever been in for hot women. I've been going regularly for over a year, so I'm a familiar face in there. I think I was intimidated by the vibe at first, even though I was a veteran gym-goer when I arrived. I spent the first six months with earphones in while I worked out. I basically spoke to no-one. I just wasn't interested. I'm quite intense in the gym and am usually on a schedule to get back to work. But nonetheless I think working out with earphones / headphones is not going to endear you to people around you. Being anywhere in public with headphones gives off a 'fvck off' vibe. Therefore, I don't think it's conducive to good game.

Annoyingly, I'm pretty sure I missed a spot to take a shot at one of the reception girls somewhat recently. Around two months ago I remember she used to give me big bright smiles and a "hi" or "good morning" when I would check in. And after one of those workouts, teeming with testosterone, I stopped off at the desk on the way out and asked her name. I told her mine and then left. I had planned to try get her number at the next opening.

I just couldn't get her alone at the reception again. The subsequent times I saw her, she was either dealing with a customer or a second person was at the desk. And then, poof, she vanished and I haven't seen her for a month.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I would struggle a lot doing it with other people just standing there, or generally around. I think that hinders the vibe for guy and girl. Is that a thing? Or is it just something I should get over?

On to girls in the gym itself. I have, of course, had a few brief IOIs sent my way from girls at the gym. I never, of course (mainly because I was a pvssy) acted on them. But more recently, since becoming conscious about game, I'm trying to look for spots.

3-4 weeks ago, I was at the café in the gym and one of the female PT's was there. (Attractive but, not IMO, super hot. She had briefly once given me a small IOI months before.) I thought, ok, let's say hi. And I did. Long story short, we end up standing there having a good, engaging conversation about her life. At one point her eyes literally start welling up a bit talking about her heritage. When I felt it was maybe getting a bit heavy / doom and gloom, I pivoted to something a bit lighter and put a big smile on my face. She reciprocated. My eye contact was solid. At the end, when I excused myself ("I'll see you around"), she asked "oh, are you going to go train?" (low key diss as I had just trained and had a nice pump going) which I took as a bit of a "oh, you're leaving?", as she was on her way to train.

I have since seen her in the gym twice and she has smiled and mouthed "hi". The thing about her is, I'm actually not super attracted to her. I didn't really want to number close during our conversation. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be a big swinging **** and say that was the only reason though; I also got in my head that she seemed like the type of girl who would sniff out thirst super fast if I tried to number close straight off the bat. Plus there was probably some pvssy juice in between my two ears in relation to 'oh what if the woman at the café overhears me getting rejected" etc.

But it is a bit weird. She is an objectively very impressive woman. PT, starting her own business, good physique, smart, beautiful. But that kind of turns me off a bit, in a weird way. I think: Jesus, the standard I would have to maintain to keep a woman like that satisfied seems exhausting. I would have to take her to this swanky place and that place. I couldn't just chill with someone like that.

Is that some warped BS on my part? Am I making up excuses to not ask hot girls out?

Less than two weeks ago, I was working out one morning and I remember not enjoying it. I grinded through anyway and one of the regular hot girls was in there. A few weeks earlier I was walking to the beach topless after a workout and she did a double take and smiled, checking me out as she was paying for her parking. After that, I saw her in the gym twice and we worked out at neighboring stations. I never talked to her though.

But this day two weeks ago, when I was walking out of the gym after the workout, I see that it's pouring rain, so I take a seat at the tables at the front of the building to wait for it to ease off before I walk home.

She exits gym two beats after me and does the same thing, so she sits at the same table, right across from me. I have my back to the table facing out. But I've clocked her in my peripheral. My mind was already made up that I was going to turn and talk to her; it would be criminal to not say hi in such a uniquely tee'd-up spot. This wasn't walking across the beach to cold approach two sun bathers.

So I sit and run a couple of openers in my head, and then swivel and say "I might as well take this opportunity to say hello". She's friendly, beaming. I asked her, (not in English), what's your name, I intro myself, where are you from, oh is that a city in X, she tells me where it is, I say I'm from Y, do you know it, "oh it's cold there now, right?" "no, not really, it's mild."

Then, not knowing where to pivot, I make a mistake and do an overshare (volunteering information, reducing mystery), I tell her: well I'm not 100% from Y, I'm partly from Z, so I like a warm climate.

I can't remember how conversation pivoted but then I said, looking at the rain: ah, I want a coffee. At that prompt she lit up again and talked about how much she loves coffee, I latched on and asked how many she has a day, and she embarrassedly said 5, I teased and said it was a lot, but she said it's the local stuff they have at her office so it's not strong enough for her. I said I have one large takeout coffee a day and I like it because it's very strong, I may have then asked her does she want to come and have a coffee with me. I think that's how she got on to saying; I'm waiting for my driver to come and get me (don't know why she would have a driver, maybe she meant a cab) because she has to get home to babysit her niece because she's practising to be a mom.

I latched onto this and said: oh, you want to be a mom? And she said, yes but I don't think I'd be very good because yesterday I accidentally put chilli in my niece's eye. We laughed (I maybe miss-stepped in not thinking of a pithy, witty tease for that funny story. I think I just said: oh no. or something banal.)

Then I asked, so you're trying to have kids? and she said, yes she wants to (and at one point she literally said: I'm running out of time) but she wants to fall / be in love with a man before she has kids (at one point saying a lot of women in x are happy to just go ahead and have kids with whomever, but not her). Again, I pounced on this great info she was giving me.

I asked did she have a boyfriend, she said no, and then I launched into a thing, teasing her about how she needs to make a plan and it takes time to fall in love, you can't just meet someone and pop out a bunch of kids. At this point she lost her **** and was giggling and squealing with glee. It was as if she couldn't believe she was having such a candid conversation with a stranger. I was keeping good eye contact and leaning towards her a little across the table. We joked back and forth about meeting people with whom to start a family with and why she can't meet a good man. She seemed fully entertained and engaged.

After a few short minutes of chatting, I started doing a calculus in my head about where I would want to take it from here (see number close point). I began to excuse myself as the rain had stopped and I joked that next time I see her I would check in on her mission to find the one and have 10 kids. She, again thoroughly enjoyed that banter. While we were saying goodbye I reached across for another handshake and this time held on for a few more seconds (thoughts on this?) while we laughed and smiled and held eye contact.

I asked her again that she was sure didn't want to come get a coffee with me and she got even a little defensive or was rushing to explain that she had her niece waiting on her, I needled her that she was so busy. (maybe not a good move?) But it was 'see you later' and I left.

Again, I noted after this encounter I don't know whether I want to number close in these spots.

Funny update on that latter conversation with the baby crazy woman: I was having dinner with friends a couple of nights ago at a local restaurant and she's there with a guy. I'm looking good (nice and swoll) so I'm happy if she sees me out doing cool sh1t. I sit in the free seat facing her table and her and I made eye contact. There was no more to it though and her and her date left soon after.

What do we think about not number closing on the first conversation (that goes well) if you know you will see the woman again - does that make you more desirable? Seem less desperate?

Again, with this second girl, I have the same thoughts as the first gym girl. The second girl has fake tits, fake lips: I can't take her to a chilled out place ; have to take her to a pretentious, swanky place? That's some BS, right?
 

FinallyAlpha

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Wedding game
I'm attending a friend's wedding soon.
This ended up being quite mixed bag. The wedding itself was pretty idyllic, great venue, great food, great drinks, I looked great, good crowd; just a lot of fun. But I messed up on the game front.

The hosts put me sitting surrounded by three women at the end of one of the dinner tables. (Presumably trying to play match-maker, who knows.) And the dinner conversation was great, a lot of fun. But I ended up inadvertently running some kind of sh1t Beta Game. And this is where your advice needs to be counter-balanced @DEEZEDBRAH. It's not just about taking action, and I'll tell you why.

So I'm telling these women about my life, it's interesting. Good banter with the one I'm sitting beside. But unbeknownst to me, I'm becoming too familiar to these women. At one point, they were checking out the 19 year-old, jacked up barman (these three women are well over 30) and one of them comes right out and says that she would be open to "having some fun". Given how much I had been talking, I had unknowingly slipped into being 'one of the girls' checking out a 'hot guy'.

I further fvcked up by doing the following:
  • One of the women mentioned a fling she had with a much younger guy and I then clumisly proceeded to try and initiate 'sex story time' (fvcking face palm)
  • During said story time, I told two stories from past women I had been with. (They are interesting stories and I told them well - i.e. not TMI or vulgarity.) The women hesitated to tell any stories because, presumably, they're not fvcking r3tarded.
  • After dinner, I chose to dance with a completely different girl, thinking it would make me more desirable to, specifically, the single, horny one who I sat with at dinner. But I don't think that's how it works.

The reason I say your advice needs to be qualified @DEEZEDBRAH is because I needed and could have benefited greatly from some theory in this unique spot. Instead I went in, 'tried my best' and ran dogsh1t beta game.

The reason I know this is because, the next day I continued reading Rollo's new book and it was like reading a postmortem:
  • Don't become too familiar (one of the girl's at the office) (ergo I should have kept my mouth shut more at dinner, picked my target and acted decisively)
  • Don't let on that you are seeing anyone or that you are looking for a girlfriend. Girls are looking for you. (Jumping to a new target for the dancing may have come off as thirsty. Also the sex stories.... "oh, you're a guy that fvcks? That's cool. Why the fvck are you telling me. Will I be your next dinnertime story?")
  • Mete out your personal information to women like a reward. (Just downright flapping my gums too fvcking much.)

What's worse is that the dancing was going well with the new girl, some solidly reciprocated kino that went beyond the dance steps. So I'm sitting with her late in the night and I drunkenly, stupidly let the conversation veer onto politics. I'm sitting there thinking that I'm having a stimulating, interesting political discussion and that it's an attractive (Alpha) trait when a man has a position on an issue and he can speak his mind openly. Well, this culminated in her blurting out: "don't tell me you're anti-vaxx, are you?" R.I.P. panties dry as the Gobi fvcking Desert. And now I think she's r3tarded.

I got a phone number from the horny woman from the dinner table but I'm pretty sure I got fake numbered as I messaged a couple days later and she hasn't replied.

The reason this lesson in game development is particularly frustrating is because it was a wedding. And weddings don't come around all that often and are unique and interesting opportunities to run game.

Anyway, learn and move on.
 
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FinallyAlpha

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Masseuse
I have another appointment with her coming up and I plan on making a move.
This went... well... I think. Again there was a lot of banter and flirting and she is clearly interested. At some points she just stood / sat there and stared at me, and I'm thinking "you going to keep massaging me or are we done?"

My main approaches were, you need a massage and I give good massages, I should massage you some time. She responded really well to this. And, also, let's do a language exchange but you have to buy the beers and I'll teach you English. She was keen on both suggestions.

I came home after the massage (Monday night) and was thinking about her a lot, so I said fvck it, I'll text now. So I messaged "let's go for your massage". She wrote back instantly with "when? Thursday?" I was obviously pleasantly surprised with her eagerness and I wrote back "now... or Thursday, yeah." It then went on that we would go to the beach to play paddle ball and if she beat me, she would win her massage. And it was left at that.

I was delighted to have gotten the date, but turns out I did something very, very fvcking stupid. I didn't confirm the time we would meet. She said that she "had some patients in the morning" and then would be done. I took this to mean that we were meeting in the early-afternoon at the latest. So I go ahead and go out shopping and plan for a good date experience, at the beach and the massage. Then I text her this morning "see you on X beach after work. What time are you free?" and she writes back "I'm free at 6 maybe."

Never Fvcking Assume

I was royally p1ssed off at myself for allowing that confusion to happen. She obviously wasn't great either because she had implied on Monday that she would be free much earlier. But I had planned and looked forward to this beach date that was now not happening.

I didn't write back and went to the beach by myself, determined to salvage a good day and try and run some game.

So I'm at the beach with all my stuff, eat my lunch there at my beach towel and I'm just chilling there but still pretty fvcked off at how my day turned out. (Sadly, for example, I had even mentioned to my friends, in passing, that I had a date lined up. Me telling my friends is evidence that I'm very attracted to this masseuse and it's bringing out some simp / b1tch tendencies.)

I'm on the beach about an hour and I look over my shoulder and an absolute smoking hot babe has put her blanket down 15 feet away from me. She's lying face down, perfect tanned azz facing the heavens. My immediate thoughts about potentially approaching were fairly ambivalent: why bother, I have no chance, fvck it, you gotta try.

There was also a milf with a kid sitting nearby and a group of girls further along the beach, who I had on the radar.

But hot babe was obviously 1st prize. I get into the water for a swim, hoping she catches a glimpse of the goods. But no joy as far as I could see.

So I'm just sitting there with my elbow on my drinks cooler (stocked up with supplies for my failed date) and I get this shout from behind me. It's a dude, he's there with another guy, they're drinking beer, he's in his 50's, and he goes "hey friend!" "hey" "where are you from?" "X" "are you gay?" "...what?" "are you gay? do you like men or women?" "I'm not gay." "Oh... cool... well what about her, huh? *sleazy laugh*" and he nods towards hot babe.

I keep chatting to the homosexual drunkard, thinking it's nice at least to have some company, while also remembering how my afternoon was supposed to be going so differently. His 'friend' goes to the store to get more liquor and he scoots up next to me. At this point, I take out my beach racket ball set and say to him: "look buddy, this is what's going to happen. I'm going to ask her to play a game with me. If she says no, I'm going to ask that woman over there. If she says no, I'm going to walk over to those girls and ask them. And if they say no, I'll play a game with you." I don't think he could make out WTF I was saying but, with that, I jumped up, and walked the few short steps over to hot babe.

Somewhat astonishingly, she enthusiastically leapt off the ground and we played a game of paddle ball with the endearing drunkard as referee. I end up talking to her for ages, plenty of banter during our game, about where she's from etc. Vibe is good, I'm feeling confident, I know I look good, I'm coming across well, she looks pure fvcking fire.

Eventually I asked her "do you play sports?" She says she plays beach volleyball sometimes. I say I do too and, in fact, there's a game that I sometimes join on right now on a nearby beach and she should come with me to play. Me and her end up packing up and walking off the beach together. For the first time in what seems like a very - very - long time I'm walking together with a smoking hot bikini-clad girl.

As we got to her bicycle, we eat some of the fresh papaya and mango that I had chopped and prepared for my doomed date. She was into that. I picked up a bicycle too and we cycle to the other beach. But she wants to go further to a more remote beach. And I'm thinking "eh... hell yeah." So we get to the more remote beach that she likes, we cuddle up on one towel and I start working in some kino. We read from her book and use it as a language-exchange exercise, and then I start making out with her. We talk a lot more, make out a little more and after a while she says she needs to head home. We exchanged phone numbers and left the beach. We cycled in the same direction for a while and when I got to my place I said let's go for a drink on Sunday and she seemed to agree.

When I got home I messaged the masseuse, it was just before 6, when she said she was free, and I said "ok let's meet". She messaged me back an excuse that her mother is in town and wants to go for dinner so she has to do that. I'm pretty p1ssed at her and see this as a clear sign of low interest. At this point, I'm feeling pretty bad, but of course that feeling is tempered by the fun, spontaneous afternoon that I had spent with the hot girl.

Inspired by some of the #next posts that I read on here, I messaged her saying "ok... maybe I'll injure my back again sometime and return to your table. But... until then. Ciao x" That was sad for me to send because I am attracted to her and was excited to date her, but obviously needed to be a good example of a Man in the situation.

Surprisingly she instantly texts back "I will see you before that. Don't be dramatic hahaha. I need beers with English [practise] or a shoulder massage." I replied "I want that too." Then she wrote "But you know it's difficult when family is around." I haven't written back.

My plan is to text her in a couple days and arrange a specific date. If it happens, great. If she acts weird or pulls back, then.... we know the drill.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
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This ended up being quite mixed bag. The wedding itself was pretty idyllic, great venue, great food, great drinks, I looked great, good crowd; just a lot of fun. But I messed up on the game front.

The hosts put me sitting surrounded by three women at the end of one of the dinner tables. (Presumably trying to play match-maker, who knows.) And the dinner conversation was great, a lot of fun. But I ended up inadvertently running some kind of sh1t Beta Game. And this is where your advice needs to be counter-balanced @DEEZEDBRAH. It's not just about taking action, and I'll tell you why.

So I'm telling these women about my life, it's interesting. Good banter with the one I'm sitting beside. But unbeknownst to me, I'm becoming too familiar to these women. At one point, they were checking out the 19 year-old, jacked up barman (these three women are well over 30) and one of them comes right out and says that she would be open to "having some fun". Given how much I had been talking, I had unknowingly slipped into being 'one of the girls' checking out a 'hot guy'.

I further fvcked up by doing the following:
  • One of the women mentioned a fling she had with a much younger guy and I then clumisly proceeded to try and initiate 'sex story time' (fvcking face palm)
  • During said story time, I told two stories from past women I had been with. (They are interesting stories and I told them well - i.e. not TMI or vulgarity.) The women hesitated to tell any stories because, presumably, they're not fvcking r3tarded.
  • After dinner, I chose to dance with a completely different girl, thinking it would make me more desirable to, specifically, the single, horny one who I sat with at dinner. But I don't think that's how it works.

The reason I say your advice needs to be qualified @DEEZEDBRAH is because I needed and could have benefited greatly from some theory in this unique spot. Instead I went in, 'tried my best' and ran dogsh1t beta game.

The reason I know this is because, the next day I continued reading Rollo's new book and it was like reading a postmortem:
  • Don't become too familiar (one of the girl's at the office) (ergo I should have kept my mouth shut more at dinner, picked my target and acted decisively)
  • Don't let on that you are seeing anyone or that you are looking for a girlfriend. Girls are looking for you. (Jumping to a new target for the dancing may have come off as thirsty. Also the sex stories.... "oh, you're a guy that fvcks? That's cool. Why the fvck are you telling me. Will I be your next dinnertime story?")
  • Mete out your personal information to women like a reward. (Just downright flapping my gums too fvcking much.)

What's worse is that the dancing was going well with the new girl, some solidly reciprocated kino that went beyond the dance steps. So I'm sitting with her late in the night and I drunkenly, stupidly let the conversation veer onto politics. I'm sitting there thinking that I'm having a stimulating, interesting political discussion and that it's an attractive (Alpha) trait when a man has a position on an issue and he can speak his mind openly. Well, this culminated in her blurting out: "don't tell me you're anti-vaxx, are you?" R.I.P. panties dry as the Gobi fvcking Desert. And now I think she's r3tarded.

I got a phone number from the horny woman from the dinner table but I'm pretty sure I got fake numbered as I messaged a couple days later and she hasn't replied.

The reason this lesson in game development is particularly frustrating is because it was a wedding. And weddings don't come around all that often and are unique and interesting opportunities to run game.

Anyway, learn and move on.
The theory is useless without application. The problem today is everything is theory. no receipts. you take Ls in the game. live and learn. jlaix called it taking a real man's blow out. most so called men today don't approach. can't pull. watch hypergamy pods and fapp. world class has a 10% success rate. that math is rubbish but wtf is the alternative? most men are hiding behind dating apps. Taking a man's blow out isn't even in the realm of possibility by modern men walking on ****ing egg shells and hiding in cowardice fashion.

The game is compliance. I'm kicking dumpty off her pedestal. I self amuse and troll. Comply or bye. The solution to the game is #nextset. Pull or get rejected. Open #nextset until dead or D falls off.
 

FinallyAlpha

Don Juan
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5/52

Money

Fine

Muscles
Fine

Game
Weird week. I was intimate with four different women on four consecutive nights, Thursday through Sunday. (For the record, I felt like sh1t after; probably because I drank booze two of the nights and I don't usually drink.)
  • Thursday: beach girl (story above) [she subsequently ghosted my follow-up text. lessons from that one: too much kino (needy); no time constraints (didn't convey value).]
  • Friday: I was at a restaurant with my friend and a woman with whom I have something of a flirtation going walked in with her BF. I went home, went to bed but couldn't sleep. I was experiencing compulsive thoughts about this woman. I got out of bed after midnight, got dressed and went to a nightclub, where I met two graduates. I partied with them, brought one home and slept with her.
  • Saturday: I spent the night with my only currently active plate.
  • Sunday: I got a text from the woman from the restaurant on Friday night. She came over and we drank beers and hung out. I gave her a foot massage (bad frame... I know... but I enjoy it). I escalated and we made out quite intensely. But when I attempted to take her shorts off, she said she had to leave.
It's a pity about the Sunday (BF) woman as I am attracted to her but if she just wants attention and isn't DTF then I won't entertain that, of course. I'm struggling to strike the right tone in the text game since Sunday.

Monday
Her: You wanted to say something to me last night [there was an intense silence before I let her out on Sunday night; I was getting the hesitant energy from her and I was wondering should I address it there and then. I didn't and she left.]

Me: Yes... I wanted to know... will you come to my show when I'm a famous singer... [we were singing and dancing in my place on Sunday night]

Her: haha, of course

Me: I got you something for being such a good girl [this was an attempt to keep our vibe on a sexual level and away from a platonic level.]

Her: I see. What is it?

Me: *sent her a photo of a jar of organic coconut oil*

Her: you paid attention. Yes it is very good [for x, y and z reason].

I didn't text back. I thought it was lame and weak how I played it with the coconut oil. She had said the night before that it's best for giving massages. In hindsight, I feel like I'm coming off as needy, weak and subservient. So I'm generally pessimistic about the direction of my flirtation with her; I don't know.

I messaged her back today.

Me: cancel all your clients for tomorrow

Her: haha that's not possible

Me: *shrug emoji*

Her: I have a couple of VIP client leads tomorrow

Me (5 hours later): *"you're a star" gif* [I didn't want to give the impression that I was sulking]

-------------------------
Pretty tough to share the details with you guys as I can see how my game is perhaps a bit wack in some parts. But hey, that's why I'm here, to improve.

Anyway, my resolution for this week is don't text her again (either to say hello or to propose a meet); if she wants, she will initiate. Otherwise, I am preparing myself to let this one go.
 

FinallyAlpha

Don Juan
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6/52

Pretty sh1t week, all things considered. Doesn't feel like I have a strategy right now for improvement; just fire fighting.

Money
Spent the week battling burnout symptoms after a period of travel and attempting to keep intensity high in work and gym.

The lesson here is that you can't have it all. If you're traveling, you have to pull back on some other area. If you're grinding hard at work, you can't also grind the gym and stay out late at night. That always manages to fvck me good.

I'm looking forward to re-orienting back towards a strong work and gym routine in mid-June after this busy period ends.

Muscles
Not good. After 4 consecutive days at the gym last week, I am now on a streak of going only once out of the last 6 days. I pulled back when I noticed I was burned out, then yesterday I got sick and lost a tonne of fluids.

Tomorrow, I will start to rebuild.

Game
I spent time during 5 out of 6 consecutive days with a 40 year old woman that I met out last week. (I am all too aware that some of SS's finest will be well and truly horrified by that.) I don't know, she's interesting and has a swanky apartment with a hot tub. Although there is probably some trauma bonding and aspy sh1t going on too. She wants a relationship and I don't; and I told her that.

Otherwise, my confidence is a bit low and I'm far more interested right now in fixing my approach to work and the gym than I am in going out chasing pvss.

I've started masturbating again. I put this down to burnout (symptoms of low confidence and seeking pleasure through instant gratification) and being sexually active (2 new n's + one night with plate in last 11 days). I'm conflicted on it. On one hand (no pun), I want to have high testosterone to feel better about life (fapping bad). On the other hand, I'm fine with not being a horny hound for now so that I can just dive into work and the gym and not GAF about women, frankly.
 

FinallyAlpha

Don Juan
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7/52

Money / muscles
May officially sh1ttest month so far this year. Got sick and burned out. Looking forward to Q3+ 2022 grind.

Game
Going to bin only current plate
  • We fvcked last week. I bought dinner (I always pay).
  • We’ve seen each other maybe 6 times. Average once-a-week or every 9 days. I always initiate. Zero texting outside of planning a meet.
  • It’s a pity because she had the second best head game I’ve ever had in my life. Possibly joint best. I mean, incredibly strong. Busted in her mouth a couple of times and between her t1ts.
  • Reason I’m binning is because she went on a trip the day after we met last week. I never look at her Instagram stories nor like her posts (she had made a reference in the past suggesting that she keeps tabs on who watches her stories). But, for some reason, I opened her stories today and she was on a hike with two topless guys and flirting with one. Next story was her flirting with the same guy at dinner after the hike. He was handsome and in good shape.
  • I felt jealous; which surprised me. I always knew she was no more than a plate. She gives off slvtty vibes, is an Instagram h0e, is clearly very sexually experienced. She’s also broke and under-employed, and a daily weed smoker. Just generally nightmare material for anything other than plate.
  • But we bonded and shared some stuff. I made her cvm during sex last week. And she says a lot of sh1t during sex. Standard, obv.
  • Anyway, I’m not going to simp myself here, and be the beta who buys dinner. So I muted her stories and posts. And I won’t initiate with her anymore. If she initiates in future we’ll see. Strategy would probably be not to buy dinner for at least two more meet-ups and bang and take it from there. But again, feels like a #next spot.

Am I over-reacting? Any advice?
 
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