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Friendzone is a MYTH

Robert28

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Friends don't ask you for money. So why did he think she was his friend to begin with?
Because women disguise their mooching as “friendship”. From the story I gathered she wasn’t the only guy she was doing this with or had ever done this with. And they always start out small (30-50) and hit you up regularly and it adds up. My guy friends never ask me for money or favors. Never. Women are known for doing this with their “friends” though. Well known for it.
 

HaleyBaron

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If she does feel physical attraction you don't have to necessarily make your intentions known right away but, you do have a window to do it... If you act too asexual during this window she will lose attraction for you over time.
This is actually the most important point of it all. And it probably is missed a lot by a lot of guys simply due to fear of rejection. Don't worry, I use to have the same fear. Then I realized years later that all the girls who were hitting on me in college actually wanted to **** me. I was just too naive to see it or take the chance. It is what is, hindsight is 20/20. All we can do is pass this info along to the younger guys.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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Because women disguise their mooching as “friendship”. From the story I gathered she wasn’t the only guy she was doing this with or had ever done this with. And they always start out small (30-50) and hit you up regularly and it adds up. My guy friends never ask me for money or favors. Never. Women are known for doing this with their “friends” though. Well known for it.
A guy has to be pretty stupid to willingly give someone money like that.

I've been tricked a few times, but never just outright gave it.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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Back to the original topic...

Friend zone isn't a myth. No guy wants to be just friends with a girl.

Although it's reasonable for a girl to want to have you there initially long enough to build real comfort.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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The friendzone can mean a lot of different things. They could've been having sex and things didn't work out or maybe this guy never really made a move, but suddenly has a crush.
 

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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Wait until he meets a girl that breaks him. Financially and literally. He will come to our side then. I read a story awhile back about a grown ass guy who was friends with this girl. He said she got to where she’d hit him up for money at least twice a month and he figured it up over the past year and it was something like close to $5,000!!! Imagine how much he really spent on her when they’d hangout and hed buy her stuff and dinner or whatever in that year. I bet he spent closer to 7-10000. So ahead and orbit these girls if you want, they’ll suck you dry and I don’t mean sexually.
A pretty stupid strategy, IMO. If you have money and your sh!t together, why waste your time orbiting? Orbiting is the exclusive domain of men who believe pvssy is scarce. Men who actually have their sh!t together know better.
Orbiting isn't a waste of time because your doing it while engaging in a social life, when you orbit like this, every woman that is looking to upgrade her social status is single, the difference is that you don't part with what makes you valuable, meaning you simply expose her to your life style, in its continuity, through the social circles you inhabit and let the potential of an upgrade work on her, you can still game outside the circle, still see other women, your single even if your not.

Regardless, at no point should you stop speaking to women, single or not, you also shouldn't be pursuing every single woman that crosses your path, your much better off allowing her to "Take you home" to her social circle because now you can expose them all to your life style... Lifestyle is like a virus for women, it Sweeps through their numbers quickly, breeds insecurity and resentment, you can be a player all you want today, it's fine, just don't lie about it, being a player is fine, lying is not in terms of women
 

Black Widow Void

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You not only make some valid points, but also added some food for thought that I'd yet to consider.

I suspect (as I've mentioned in previous threads) that a lot of the push-back that you're receiving is due to lack of actual experience. I think that probably half the members here speak on what they've read VS their actual experiences.

I'll add a theory that so far hasn't been addressed.
There were times when I knew that a particular type of gal that liked me. This was the type of girl that I was neutral about. I didn't find her unattractive, but also didn't view her as attractive. In other words... this was the type of gal that I never thought about, desired or even lusted. *But* because I knew that she liked me, I figured what the heck.

I think that most of us here have seen someone due to the "I like you because you like me" type situation. It fills an empty slot and is better than an empty Friday night, but it's nothing we're really going to miss when it finally ends.

Let's reverse that. We're aggressively pursing some gal that has no idea if she's into us or not. She figures "what the heck, there's nothing remotely disqualifying about him and so why not." This is really no different than we men being in one of those "I like you because you like me" situations. The woman is going along for the ride, but we didn't create the slow burn (her gradually getting emotionally invested). In other words, she can take or leave us ... just as we could take or leave the gal we were neutral about.

This might sound like an odd metaphor, but here goes:
(to borrow an old song) Let's say that "Love is like Oxygen." If one party takes all or most of it in the room, this leaves very little for the other party to consume. One party is riding high on life and the other barely has a pulse. I've learned that if you aren't stingy with the 'oxygen tank' , you'll get better returns.
 

Robert28

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Robert28, respectfully, your attitude and mindset is what is holding you back.
Maybe so. But I will never change my opinion about the friendzone or being friends with women. Been there done that, burned twice. I want my attitude to hold me back from the FZ honestly.
 

Stoic

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Maybe so. But I will never change my opinion about the friendzone or being friends with women. Been there done that, burned twice. I want my attitude to hold me back from the FZ honestly.
But mindset and attitude is what keeps you OUT of the friend zone.
 

Robert28

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But mindset and attitude is what keeps you OUT of the friend zone.
It’s only happened twice in 38 years so that’s not a bad average.
 

3agle 3yes

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I'm reviving this old thread because this is the first time I've seen it since I last posted.
This is so backwards. So you're not friends with any women you sleep with? Do you hate them or objectify them? Why the hell do you sleep with them then? You think people that have been married 30 years aren't best friends AND banging each other's brains out?
Do you know what a friend is? A friend is someone with whom you have a platonic relationship.

There are plenty of people I don't hate or objectify that aren't my friends. Why make the assumption these things are binary?

Just because you go out with a woman and know her personally, that doesn't make you her friend...you're more or less acquaintances at that point.

Again, this might be where the confusion is. People you see casually aren't your friends, especially when you've met them recently.

Friends are people you've known for a while and people you see regularly. I want to note this distinction because once a woman has formed an impression of you, it's almost impossible the change it.

Couples who have been married for 30 years aren't "banging each other's brains out" I can assure you, they've moved past that stage. Besides, marriage or even a long-term relationship is a different ball game. Most guys in the friendzone are most certainly not in a long-term relationship with the woman or married to them.

Typically, this forum is about meeting women, going on dates and flirting etc...tell me how being a friend with a woman has worked out for you in the past?
When a woman likes you as a friend she'll tell you anything. If you're not some sensitive insecure jacka$s then you'll assert your boundaries in a charming, effortless way so that these interactions are always enjoyable for you.
Exactly, she'll tell you things like; how the man she's going out with won't return her calls, and she'll expect you to give her an answer.

Listen, I don't know how many women you've been with or if you're just posing, but think about it for a moment. If a woman feels it's okay to tell you anything, it means either she doesn't care what you think, or she knows you'll always accept her regardless; that's not how attraction works.

Also, if she will tell you anything about herself, she'll expect you to do the same (or most likely, you've already told her a lot about yourself); this completely kills the mystery that generates a huge chunk of the attraction to you in the first place.

Society has standards. If you're in a class at school, you'll expect the teacher to teach and the students to listen. If you're in an interview, you'll expect the interviewer to ask questions and the interviewee to answer them.

If you have a friendship with a woman, she expects you not to be sexual towards her; if you do, it'll make her uncomfortable.

People like to know what's going on, and if you've set a standard, anything but that standard will weird people out.
Female friends invite you places with other women, hook you up with friends, disarm other women, put in good words for you, play excellent wing women, the list goes on.
Yeah, did you even read my initial post?
I agree that you don't have to bang every woman you interact with, and you can be friends. It even gives you access to more women (her friends).
 
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EyeOnThePrize

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Do you know what a friend is? A friend is someone with whom you have a platonic relationship.
I've banged many a friends, sometimes it's a one off spur of the moment, sometimes I can sense it's been building for months or years, sometimes fwb starts or something more serious develops. You said it yourself, it's not binary, relationships can flow between any number of categories at any time. Not allowing that flow is doing yourself a disservice.

Just because you go out with a woman and know her personally, that doesn't make you her friend...you're more or less acquaintances at that point.

Again, this might be where the confusion is. People you see casually aren't your friends, especially when you've met them recently.

Friends are people you've known for a while and people you see regularly. I want to note this distinction because once a woman has formed an impression of you, it's almost impossible the change it.
You're splitting hairs, there is no downside to having female friends or acquaintances if you know how to assert boundaries. Who gives a fuuck what designation they give you in their mind? Your goal shouldn't be to try and change that, but instead to live your life per usual.

Couples who have been married for 30 years aren't "banging each other's brains out" I can assure you, they've moved past that stage. Besides, marriage or even a long-term relationship is a different ball game. Most guys in the friendzone are most certainly not in a long-term relationship with the woman or married to them.
Again it's a continuum, some sure are. Most guys don't put women in their own friendzone because they're desperate short-sighted simps that get frustrated easily.

Typically, this forum is about meeting women, going on dates and flirting etc...tell me how being a friend with a woman has worked out for you in the past?
I don't overextend myself with them, so I have no complaints about whether they fuuck me or whatever, I'm not expecting something. I've had business connections manifest, random lays, places to stay while traveling, companions while traveling, all sorts of stuff by being friends with women.

Listen, I don't know how many women you've been with or if you're just posing, but think about it for a moment. If a woman feels it's okay to tell you anything, it means either she doesn't care what you think, or she knows you'll always accept her regardless; that's not how attraction works.
Not sure how you quoted that sentence without reading the part about asserting boundaries. When a woman fears telling you something because she thinks you'll overreact or get emotional then she'll hide it from you, which isn't exactly a recipe for longevity. If you don't think attraction is about accepting your partner as they are and simply inspiring them to be a better fit for you then you'll have to explain yourself, because being tyranical or controlling will typically backfire.

Also, if she will tell you anything about herself, she'll expect you to do the same (or most likely, you've already told her a lot about yourself); this completely kills the mystery that generates a huge chunk of the attraction to you in the first place.
Mystery is great but what's much better is simply standing behind who you actually are. If she doesn't explicitly ask I don't volunteer personal information. Any expectation for me to share without solicitation is silly to me, as there's been no request, no interest shown. The only dudes concerned about maintaining a shroud of mystery are too enamored with some PUA bs.

If you have a friendship with a woman, she expects you not to be sexual towards her; if you do, it'll make her uncomfortable.
Some women sure, other women will be your friend and constantly drop IOI, and then there's women in between. You're painting with too broad a stroke.

People like to know what's going on, and if you've set a standard, anything but that standard will weird people out.
Again super broad and oversimplified. I'm not even sure what kind of standard you're talking about.

Yeah, did you even read my initial post?
I read the entire thread, is this your way of saying we're in agreement? Not sure what the problem is here.
 

Robert28

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Being friends with women just doesn’t work for me. It just doesn’t. Usually what happens (twice) is we start out liking each other and I try to take it to the next level (thinking it’s going somewhere) only for them to keep shutting me down. So I am of the mindset “ok she was liking me, I’ve tried to move this along but now it’s like she doesn’t like me anymore” and then comes the “I want to be friends” but they usually aren’t that direct about it. The only way that has ever worked for me is to meet a girl (cold approach) and get her out as soon as possible and as long as she doesn’t shut down my advances I never get friendzoned or rejected. The problem is the two girls that friendzoned me had just gotten out of a relationship and we went on dates and looking back now I was just there to fill a void. They weren’t really attracted to me since they wouldn’t let it go further than casual dating. Then they friendzoned me but yet we’re still very aggressive in keeping in contact with me. That’s confusing as sh!t. Sorry it just is. It’s immature women that do that anyways I’ve learned. I like the women that can reject me and let me go about my way. I refuse to be friends with women now due to bad experiences. I want nothing to do with their friendship and they can shove it up their ass for all I care.
 

darksprezzatura

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Idk what kind of thought process women follow.

Idk what they prefer or like or dislike.

What I know is not a myth is:

LACK OF COMPLIANCE.

When a woman doesn't feel comfortable to follow my directions, I move on.
 

Scars

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Call it whatever you want, but there is a point during your communication with a woman where you've fvcked it up beyond saving. You have absolutely zero chance of dating her or fvcking her because you either failed a sh!t test, wasn't her "type", or screwed your game up some how.

When a girl has mentally decided that she will NEVER have sex with you, this is the friendzone. She's willing to be "friends" and allow you to orbit her, but she will never date you or truly respect you.
 

3agle 3yes

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Call it whatever you want, but there is a point during your communication with a woman where you've fvcked it up beyond saving...When a girl has mentally decided that she will NEVER have sex with you, this is the friendzone. She's willing to be "friends" and allow you to orbit her, but she will never date you or truly respect you.
Yes, this. I couldn't find a way to explain it properly, which is unusual for me. The "friendzone" isn't about female friends, but it's a state in a relationship with a woman, where she doesn't see you as an attractive man but only as a "friend", and there's nothing you can do to change it.

@EyeOnThePrize What I meant in my initial post (the friend/lover dichotomy) is that being "friendly" typically means doing things so the woman will like you; this doesn't mean you should do things that make her hate you. It just means having standards and sticking to those standards no matter what.

As OP stated, don't go to a woman's place and unclog her bathroom sink (don't try to make her like you). You should, however, do things that make her feel attracted to you.

A friend will answer her call at 4 am and listen to her complain about her "jerk" boss at work for hours.

A lover would ignore the call, call her the next day and end the conversation if she started complaining about her "jerk" boss. It's not about being an *******, but listening to her complain about someone is what her friends are for, not you.
 
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