Friendzone is a MYTH

[EyeOnThePrize]

I agree that you don’t have to bang every woman you interact with, and you can be friends. It even gives you access to more women (her friends).

I think some of you guys are misunderstanding what a friend is.

A friend is purely platonic, someone who she confides her relationships and insecurities with, someone who “loves her no matter what”, and someone she would feel okay with talking about and showing her boyfriend to.

On the other hand, there are women you know and talk to, but they aren’t necessarily your friends.

I’d like to know how many genuine female friends you guys have gotten sexual with? And if it happened, did you notice her behaviour change?

I have a simple rule:

If you‘re her lover, you can’t be her friend.

If you’re her friend, you can’t be her lover.

And if you’re dumb enough to attempt both, then you’re her b!tch.

This is so backwards. So you're not friends with any women you sleep with? Do you hate them or objectify them? Why the hell do you sleep with them then? You think people that have been married 30 years aren't best friends AND banging each other's brains out?

When a woman likes you as a friend she'll tell you anything. If you're not some sensitive insecure jacka$s then you'll assert your boundaries in a charming, effortless way so that these interactions are always enjoyable for you.

Female friends invite you places with other women, hook you up with friends, disarm other women, put in good words for you, play excellent wing women, the list goes on.

What kind of guy honestly wants to be platonic friends with an attractive girl? You must be really young to make a post like this.

A guy with options. Why would it bother me when I have 5 other women that are showing interest and want to fuuck? I'm happy for it to resolve faster, so I know which circle to put her in my mind, and how to treat her so I can focus my sexual energy on other women. When you say 'k' like it's nothing, it drives women with interest nuts, especially if she sees you interacting with others.

Some posters show their age in their profiles, I'm in my early 30s and have no problem with women.

It’s fine when you’re a teenager, maybe even college. But it’s fvcking weird when you’re in your 30’s and older and women talking about “let’s be friends”. No, let’s not. Fvck or get out. Guys don’t want to be friends because the favors and manipulation attempts that come with it.

This is backwards. You should be the one happily putting girls in the friendzone. Get this weird predator mentality out of your mind, it just fuels your desperation. When a girl friend asks for favors or whatever and you sense she's trying to take advantage of you, simply create distance and focus on women that you do enjoy. It's not rocket surgery.

Fuuck or get out is what a guy thinks about a woman he doesn't like. Why the hell are you trying to fuuck a woman you don't like? Maybe in some spur of the moment drunk hate fuuck, but otherwise wtf are you doing talking to her in the first place? This just reeks of desperation.

If being friends with women makes you feel weak, go work on yourself and learn to assert boundaries until you don't give a fuuck, it's really that simple.

 

[samspade]

This is what works for me...If she brings value, she can orbit me, and reflect in mine. If she'd rather not, that's cool too. If her presence is a net negative then she's out. If other men consider women who don't want to fukk them in that moment as a negative, that's up to them, to each his own. But the idea that there is some "zone" a guy is condemned to is really just a fear of becoming her orbiter, which is another frame fail. And getting butt hurt or self-righteous over it = scarcity mindset.

Every man can decide for himself whom to allow in his life, but it's best done with a sense of abundance.

 

[Robert28]

This is so backwards. So you're not friends with any women you sleep with? Do you hate them or objectify them? Why the hell do you sleep with them then? You think people that have been married 30 years aren't best friends AND banging each other's brains out?

When a woman likes you as a friend she'll tell you anything. If you're not some sensitive insecure jacka$s then you'll assert your boundaries in a charming, effortless way so that these interactions are always enjoyable for you.

Female friends invite you places with other women, hook you up with friends, disarm other women, put in good words for you, play excellent wing women, the list goes on.



A guy with options. Why would it bother me when I have 5 other women that are showing interest and want to fuuck? I'm happy for it to resolve faster, so I know which circle to put her in my mind, and how to treat her so I can focus my sexual energy on other women. When you say 'k' like it's nothing, it drives women with interest nuts, especially if she sees you interacting with others.

Some posters show their age in their profiles, I'm in my early 30s and have no problem with women.



Wrooooong. You should be the one happily putting girls in the friendzone. Get this weird predator mentality out of your mind, it just fuels your desperation. When a girl friend asks for favors or whatever and you sense she's trying to take advantage of you, simply create distance and focus on women that you do enjoy. It's not rocket surgery.

Fuuck or get out is what a guy thinks about a woman he doesn't like. Why the hell are you trying to fuuck a woman you don't like? Maybe in some spur of the moment drunk hate fuuck, but otherwise wtf are you doing talking to her in the first place? This just reeks of desperation.

If being friends with women makes you feel weak, go work on yourself and learn to assert boundaries until you don't give a fuuck, it's really that simple.

You keep doing it your way and I’ll keep doing it mine.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

This is so backwards. So you're not friends with any women you sleep with? Do you hate them or objectify them? Why the hell do you sleep with them then? You think people that have been married 30 years aren't best friends AND banging each other's brains out?

When a woman likes you as a friend she'll tell you anything. If you're not some sensitive insecure jacka$s then you'll assert your boundaries in a charming, effortless way so that these interactions are always enjoyable for you.

Female friends invite you places with other women, hook you up with friends, disarm other women, put in good words for you, play excellent wing women, the list goes on.



A guy with options. Why would it bother me when I have 5 other women that are showing interest and want to fuuck? I'm happy for it to resolve faster, so I know which circle to put her in my mind, and how to treat her so I can focus my sexual energy on other women. When you say 'k' like it's nothing, it drives women with interest nuts, especially if she sees you interacting with others.

Some posters show their age in their profiles, I'm in my early 30s and have no problem with women.



This is backwards. You should be the one happily putting girls in the friendzone. Get this weird predator mentality out of your mind, it just fuels your desperation. When a girl friend asks for favors or whatever and you sense she's trying to take advantage of you, simply create distance and focus on women that you do enjoy. It's not rocket surgery.

Fuuck or get out is what a guy thinks about a woman he doesn't like. Why the hell are you trying to fuuck a woman you don't like? Maybe in some spur of the moment drunk hate fuuck, but otherwise wtf are you doing talking to her in the first place? This just reeks of desperation.

If being friends with women makes you feel weak, go work on yourself and learn to assert boundaries until you don't give a fuuck, it's really that simple.

And do you have 5 others? Or you're just saying what if?

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

It’s fine when you’re a teenager, maybe even college. But it’s fvcking weird when you’re in your 30’s and older and women talking about “let’s be friends”. No, let’s not. Fvck or get out. Guys don’t want to be friends because the favors and manipulation attempts that come with it.

Exactly. That's why I questioned the age of the people saying this.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

You keep doing it your way and I’ll keep doing it mine.

Justify why you would keep giving attention to a woman that is trying to take advantage of you or one you don't enjoy being around, otherwise your way is shiit.

When you're self validated, some women will hang around for it. If you think your self validation is some kind of rare resource then you'll be super critical of women. The guy who knows he has unlimited validation for himself and anyone he chooses, simply doesn't put so much pressure on himself and others. He's more forgiving and lax because he has nothing to prove, nothing to defend.

And do you have 5 others? Or you're just saying what if?

I don't keep track, but I'd say at least 4 right now that I know of. Some shower me with compliments upon meeting me, expecting me to pounce instantly, but I move at my own pace. Some of these women get upset that I don't pounce right away, but to me that's just feedback that she's not compatible with my current head space. The women that tease and play with me and never get upset are the ones I'm naturally drawn to, because they're fun. The pissy ones simply don't get my attention.

Like attracts like. Dependency seeks codependency. Independence seeks interdependence.

The only way women get my attention is by being fun, sweet, playful, and never getting upset at my romantic inaction. They either do this or they're treated as acquaintances.

You can't force women to do anything. All you can do is create the conditions that you enjoy and let women enjoy themselves in your presence. This opens way more doors than this caveman mentality of 'fuuck or GTFO my life'.

 

[Robert28]

Exactly. That's why I questioned the age of the people saying this.

A lot of these guys saying they’re fine with women friends are still in the club scene. I can see where that might come in handy. But let’s be real here, at my age Friendzone means the woman needs favors and money and that’s why she’s offering me her precious one sided friendship. Bills still come even when the carousel stops and they need many simps to be friends with instead of try to lock down one wallet, they need to string along 4-5 wallets.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

A lot of these guys saying they’re fine with women friends are still in the club scene. I can see where that might come in handy. But let’s be real here, at my age Friendzone means the woman needs favors and money and that’s why she’s offering me her precious one sided friendship. Bills still come even when the carousel stops and they need many simps to be friends with instead of try to lock down one wallet, they need to string along 4-5 wallets.

I rarely go to clubs, not really my scene. Why are you giving miserable women so much attention? The girls in my social circles are doctors, lawyers, have tons of money saved up, travel, and never ask for favors or money.

How you treat yourself in front of women and what you tolerate is what they will play into. Don't tolerate needy miserable women and they'll vanish.

You have no one else to blame but yourself for the people you choose to invest your precious time into.

 

[Robert28]

Justify why you would keep giving attention to a woman that is trying to take advantage of you or one you don't enjoy being around, otherwise your way is shiit.

When you're self validated, some women will hang around for it. If you think your self validation is some kind of rare resource then you'll be super critical of women. The guy who knows he has unlimited validation for himself and anyone he chooses, simply doesn't put so much pressure on himself and others. He's more forgiving and lax because he has nothing to prove, nothing to defend.


I don't keep track, but I'd say at least 4 right now that I know of. Some shower me with compliments upon meeting me, expecting me to pounce instantly, but I move at my own pace. Some of these women get upset that I don't pounce right away, but to me that's just feedback that she's not compatible with my current head space. The women that tease and play with me and never get upset are the ones I'm naturally drawn to, because they're fun. The pissy ones simply don't get my attention.

Like attracts like. Dependency seeks codependency. Independence seeks interdependence.

The only way women get my attention is by being fun, sweet, playful, and never getting upset at my romantic inaction. They either do this or they're treated as acquaintances.

You can't force women to do anything. All you can do is create the conditions that you enjoy and let women enjoy themselves in your presence. This opens way more doors than this caveman mentality of 'fuuck or GTFO my life'.

Well the one woman I did that with, we’d been friends for like a year before she started being a leech. So I was hooked on her first awhile. She didn’t start bumming money and using me for favors Until about a year in. But when she started she took off with it. It’s easy to cut off a bum when you first meet them, I’d never had someone work me for a whole year before they started mooching. That was new territory for me.

 

[Robert28]

I rarely go to clubs, not really my scene. Why are you giving miserable women so much attention? The girls in my social circles are doctors, lawyers, have tons of money saved up, travel, and never ask for favors or money.

How you treat yourself in front of women and what you tolerate is what they will play into. Don't tolerate needy miserable women and they'll vanish.

You have no one else to blame but yourself for the people you choose to invest your precious time into.

I met a couple women out of my whole life like that. Never said I had some extensive history with them. I was just sharing two examples that burned me but I learned from but taught me to never do women friends again. I wouldn’t get along with the types of women you hangout with. White collar career women have always looked down their nose at me because my job is blue collar but I make as much as they do, they just don’t take the time to know it.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Well the one woman I did that with, we’d been friends for like a year before she started being a leech. So I was hooked on her first awhile. She didn’t start bumming money and using me for favors Until about a year in. But when she started she took off with it. It’s easy to cut off a bum when you first meet them, I’d never had someone work me for a whole year before they started mooching. That was new territory for me.

Dismiss every attempt. 'hey I really can't stretch that right now, maybe ask your parents.' if it keeps up just start ignoring those questions, she'll be forced to take the hint. If she pushes the issue then she doesn't respect you, treat accordingly.

I met a couple women out of my whole life like that. Never said I had some extensive history with them. I was just sharing two examples that burned me but I learned from but taught me to never do women friends again. I wouldn’t get along with the types of women you hangout with. White collar career women have always looked down their nose at me because my job is blue collar but I make as much as they do, they just don’t take the time to know it.

That's actually great. The white collar woman that does like you and respect you will be way more sincere and open minded than the ones that put their nose in the air.

 

[Robert28]

Dismiss every attempt. 'hey I really can't stretch that right now, maybe ask your parents.' if it keeps up just start ignoring those questions, she'll be forced to take the hint. If she pushes the issue then she doesn't respect you, treat accordingly.



That's actually great. The white collar woman that does like you and respect you will be way more sincere and open minded than the ones that put their nose in the air.

That’s just it, she DIDNT respect me. She wouldn’t have asked me for money every month for a year if she respected me. Have you ever tried to tell a narcissist no? They’ll start out wanting to borrow $100 but you keep saying no and they’ll talk themselves down to $30. It was like haggling with a car salesman. When you’d say no she’d pout and go silent for days or a week. Bothered me at first but after a few times of that I was glad for the silence. I just ended up ghosting her anyways, like complete blocked her and everything. Her mom was a mooch too, where do you think she learned it from?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

That’s just it, she DIDNT respect me. She wouldn’t have asked me for money every month for a year if she respected me. Have you ever tried to tell a narcissist no? They’ll start out wanting to borrow $100 but you keep saying no and they’ll talk themselves down to $30. It was like haggling with a car salesman. When you’d say no she’d pout and go silent for days or a week. Bothered me at first but after a few times of that I was glad for the silence. I just ended up ghosting her anyways, like complete blocked her and everything. Her mom was a mooch too, where do you think she learned it from?

Ok? So you did the right thing by cutting her out. You messed up by letting it drag out, own that. It sounds like you're still salty or are now jaded against all women or something, because this just sounds like biitching and complaining. Like why even waste time brooding about that or bringing it up here? Yea some women are shiitty, so are some men. At least share what you learned and gained from the experience if you're going to bring it up.

Focus on what has worked, what you want, where you want to go. When a race car driver is trying to avoid a wall, he doesn't stare at the wall, he focuses on where to go and how to get there.

Your mind is the most powerful lens. What you focus on gets magnified, so focus on the things you want more of.

 

[LARaiders85]

This is a scare tactic used by pickup artists and dating coaches to encourage guys to take action. They think they have to be direct, make their intentions known right away, to avoid falling in this imaginary trap. Ironically, this is what lands guys in there to begin with. What they don't realize is a woman has to have FEELINGS for you in order for this action that you're taking to work. You have to get their EMOTIONS invested in the situation before this can be effective.

Just because you have your mind made up that you like a woman, and have decided you're going to show her without hesitating, doesn't mean she's going to reciprocate. What you're basically trying to do is CONVINCE the woman to like you. You're better off saying "I like you, so, you should like me too." Because that's what you're communicating. You're so wrapped up in your own emotions, you're not aware that the woman herself feels nothing. The reason you do this, is because you need confirmation that she feels the same way about you first, before you feel comfortable proceeding and showing her how cool of a guy you are. It's insecurity, and women don't reward that behavior. You can take shortcuts in your car, but not in the attraction process with women. That behavior is not rewarded.

Your actions without emotional investment from a woman means NOTHING.

This is precisely the reason certain men struggle with women. They don't comprehend this. They know how they feel, but they are not calibrated and in tune with how their behavior is perceived and processed by a woman which dictates how she feels about you. It's a form of social ineptness.

Take a woman who is in a 3 year relationship, and breaks it off because she met someone else. What happened here? You think the guy she met spilled his guts right away and tried to hook up with her through PUA tactics? No. It wouldn't have worked. She would have said "I have a boyfriend." It was insidious and happened gradually over time to the point her emotions became stronger for the new guy through desirable personality traits that he displayed, causing her to have feelings for him. This has to happen first in order for anything to materialize.

The poor guy who got blindsided and received the dreaded "I've met someone else" talk. You notice it's never "someone else met me"? This often goes overlooked. When someone says "I've met someone else", what they're really saying is "I have feelings for someone else." Feelings are emotions.

What am I getting at here? This "friendzone" business is very misleading, and extremely detrimental. The fear of falling in this "place" removes crucial social constructs that are REQUIRED to allow another person to develop feelings for you.

A persuasive argument is doing favors for a woman. "You should never go to a woman's place and unclog her bathroom sink, unless you're a simp." Who is going to be in a position to enter a woman's house in such close proximity to her personal belongings including her bras, panties and other personal items? A plumber, or a guy she's sleeping with who she already has feelings for. It's an ad hominem argument taking issue with the guy itself, rather than the behavior he is displaying, while being unaware and discrediting the context of the situation.

It's not about being a nice guy or a jerk. It's not even about confidence.

What's going to determine your success with women is recognizing and understanding emotions, and the ability to display behavior that will cause those emotions to spike which will produce a woman to have feelings for you.

Unless you're physically attractive enough to them. It took me literally months of friendzone to hook up with a girl, who told me during the "courtship" that she fvcked a random guy she met at the library after 5 minutes of conversation(stone cold sober).

I understand that not everyone can be library guy, but you would be surprised. I have been library guy a few times as well. Physical attraction is idiosyncratic. I view the promotion of library guy over friendzone guy to be good advice. It is all but impossible to settle for the "long game" once you've experienced fast, raw attraction.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Justify why you would keep giving attention to a woman that is trying to take advantage of you or one you don't enjoy being around, otherwise your way is shiit.

When you're self validated, some women will hang around for it. If you think your self validation is some kind of rare resource then you'll be super critical of women. The guy who knows he has unlimited validation for himself and anyone he chooses, simply doesn't put so much pressure on himself and others. He's more forgiving and lax because he has nothing to prove, nothing to defend.


I don't keep track, but I'd say at least 4 right now that I know of. Some shower me with compliments upon meeting me, expecting me to pounce instantly, but I move at my own pace. Some of these women get upset that I don't pounce right away, but to me that's just feedback that she's not compatible with my current head space. The women that tease and play with me and never get upset are the ones I'm naturally drawn to, because they're fun. The pissy ones simply don't get my attention.

Like attracts like. Dependency seeks codependency. Independence seeks interdependence.

The only way women get my attention is by being fun, sweet, playful, and never getting upset at my romantic inaction. They either do this or they're treated as acquaintances.

You can't force women to do anything. All you can do is create the conditions that you enjoy and let women enjoy themselves in your presence. This opens way more doors than this caveman mentality of 'fuuck or GTFO my life'.

What's your age? Are you still in college, and your interacting with other school girls?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

What's your age? Are you still in college, and your interacting with other school girls?

Did you not see my post where I told you age is visible in a person's profile? If you keep this up I'll stop responding to you, because I'm starting to get some troll vibes.

I'm an active guy and go to events and random classes all the time. Do you not have hobbies where you interact with attractive women? If not, then that can certainly contribute to a perspective of lack.

 

[Pandora]

My issue with the "freindzone" is that men spend a lot of time in them convincing themselves they may one day get a shot at the honey this is extremely detrimental to a mans conquering mindset

Girls like to play dumb with game like they haven't got a clue about anything but i can tell you now she will know EXACTLY where a man ranks on her pu$$Y priority list from the word go and if she doesn't think you are in the top 3 you are going straight into the orbiter zone

She may even feed him crumbs because she likes his attention ( have seen this a lot )

But once a guy that comes along and meets her physical / social value requirements her legs will open faster than trumps mouth

The only time I've ever seen a freindzone work for a man is when HE places her in it

Seduction of men is like oxygen to women if you aren't interested they HAVE to know why

Personally i like to know where i stand so i go fairly direct within say a week / two weeks of opening ,

If she complies and lets me touch her pu$$y then i know she is worth investing more time into building a connection with , if she doesn't i am not wasting time trying to convince her otherwise

Be aware most women are a rubix cube of emotion and indecision you could waste months or years trying to figure out wtf she wants , its just not worth going down the rabbit hole

Find one that wants to fvck you , and build the rest from there

hahah facts....bro i wish i had read this in my 20's and early 30's.

 

[Bokanovsky]

If you have money and your **** together orbiting is a viable strategy

A pretty stupid strategy, IMO. If you have money and your sh!t together, why waste your time orbiting? Orbiting is the exclusive domain of men who believe pvssy is scarce. Men who actually have their sh!t together know better.

 

[Robert28]

A pretty stupid strategy, IMO. If you have money and your sh!t together, why waste your time orbiting? Orbiting is the exclusive domain of men who believe pvssy is scarce. Men who actually have their sh!t together know better.

Wait until he meets a girl that breaks him. Financially and literally. He will come to our side then. I read a story awhile back about a grown ass guy who was friends with this girl. He said she got to where she’d hit him up for money at least twice a month and he figured it up over the past year and it was something like close to $5,000!!! Imagine how much he really spent on her when they’d hangout and hed buy her stuff and dinner or whatever in that year. I bet he spent closer to 7-10000. So ahead and orbit these girls if you want, they’ll suck you dry and I don’t mean sexually.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Wait until he meets a girl that breaks him. Financially and literally. He will come to our side then. I read a story awhile back about a grown ass guy who was friends with this girl. He said she got to where she’d hit him up for money at least twice a month and he figured it up over the past year and it was something like close to $5,000!!! Imagine how much he really spent on her when they’d hangout and hed buy her stuff and dinner or whatever in that year. I bet he spent closer to 7-10000. So ahead and orbit these girls if you want, they’ll suck you dry and I don’t mean sexually.

Friends don't ask you for money. So why did he think she was his friend to begin with?