Friends

[samspade]

Do you guys have friends? How many? A best friend?

How often do you see them?

 

[ubercat]

My life seems to work in sixes. 6 in Oz, 6 in NZ, 6 around the world. 2 close mates here. Enough to get by I guess. My close mates I see every 2 or 3 weeks. Guys seem to do their own thing more as they get older.

 

[Papa_smu]

Not a whole lot. Ever since my last years in college, I've lost contact with my close friends. They only one I'm pretty close with is my best friend from high school. Everybody else tends to annoy the hell outta me :\

 

[Billtx49]

Friends come and go in your life. Enjoy them while they are there. You lose one, you get a new one.
Same thing applies to the women that come and go. Nothing lasts forever, life is fluid.

 

[samspade]

Friends come and go in your life. Enjoy them while they are there. You lose one, you get a new one.
Same thing applies to the women that come and go. Nothing lasts forever, life is fluid.

That's a good way of looking at it, in my opinion. By that same token, if you find a good friend, it's rare.

I've found myself lately not wanting to see my friends. I don't really have the patience for socializing - which is usually "getting drinks." I haven't been drinking or going out for drinks the past 8 months or so and I've been enjoying my alone time. I see my girlfriend - that's it. I feel like I get enough "socializing" at work, talking to people. I realize I'm more of an introvert than I thought - that alcohol was just a tool I used to loosen up. I don't hate people or talking but I'm happier on my own, alone.

 

[Billtx49]

I've found myself lately not wanting to see my friends.
I don't hate people or talking but I'm happier on my own, alone.

Yes. That's one reason why friends disappear as we grow, we prefer to live and spend our lives how we choose, and it may or may not include old friends.
Sometimes growing includes growing apart.

 

[Prime_Beef]

Friends? Or associates?
I frequently hang out, drink with, ride, camp with, work thru issues with (investment advice, motorcycle repair, or kids playing, coordinating, etc) many people, both men and women. Usually there's something being done or a shared activity.

Most of these are associates. Some I've known for many, many years.

Friends? 6, 8 max and I'm 50. Only one or two I see frequently.

Difference? Trust. My friends have my best interest at heart and I theirs. Some of my associates are more entertaining than some friends but the trust isn't there or hasn't been demonstrated thru opportunity, no fault of their own.

I do agree with one of the posters about being alone. Some of my best travels, hikes, rides, flights have been alone. I have no longing for company, but have an abundance of it when wanted.

Quite a dilemma, eh? The less you need people around, the more want to be around.

 

[samspade]

Friends? Or associates?
I frequently hang out, drink with, ride, camp with, work thru issues with (investment advice, motorcycle repair, or kids playing, coordinating, etc) many people, both men and women. Usually there's something being done or a shared activity.

Most of these are associates. Some I've known for many, many years.

Friends? 6, 8 max and I'm 50. Only one or two I see frequently.

Difference? Trust. My friends have my best interest at heart and I theirs. Some of my associates are more entertaining than some friends but the trust isn't there or hasn't been demonstrated thru opportunity, no fault of their own.

I do agree with one of the posters about being alone. Some of my best travels, hikes, rides, flights have been alone. I have no longing for company, but have an abundance of it when wanted.

Quite a dilemma, eh? The less you need people around, the more want to be around.

Definitely friends. I don't really socialize beyond that. I hate casual drinks. I do office small talk for my own purposes. But anyway, lately my friends have simply felt like associates. Maybe it's because our lives have more direction and there's more focus, but I don't want to sit around talking about it.

I'm even starting to lose interest in family. They live far away so it's not so frequent but the idea of traveling to hang out with family is starting to annoy me.

On a side note, I'm perfectly comfortable chatting up strangers.

 

[ubercat]

From some of your other posts the job isn't stretching you you've been considering trading in the girlfriend. At your age you are going to be on this planet for many more years. Look at it this way you can only live one life but every time you talk to people you've got the ability to live vicariously more than once through their perspectives you're not limited to your own filters. I think you need to reignite your curiosity about people and maybe life is getting a bit routine.

I guess if I'm known for anything here its as the eclectic quirky guy which is spot on. And if I get beaten up for anything it's generally not going along with the Rambo Master of the Universe persona so popular here. But I'm ok with that and I think maybe the caffeine uptake is a little bit high in America.

So here is some advice which might be a little bit left field. Try this:
http://www.barez-brown.com/the-great-wake-up/

The guy sells it as a course / forum etc. But if you are a cheap guy it was published as a series of articles in psychologies magazine so I'm sure a lot of Googling would find it.

Also try the big date idea. Meetup.com is good for this. I've taken my girlfriend to all sorts of one off things e.g. perfume making with essential oils, skeet shooting, astronomy. Girls aren't stupid yes you get points for knowing stuff and being able to teach them but you also get points for just exposing them to the variety of life. And it counts for incidental socialization which girls also need.

The problem with guys is that we enjoy a good rut. But after a while it erodes our souls.