FR: My first public approach...

[FM 3321]

This is nothing spectacular but it's the very first time I've approached a girl in public and conveyed my interest in her. I've noticed that there are beautiful women everywhere and from what I've heard it's easier to pick up women out of the club scene than in. Again, this is nothing spectacular but a milestone for me and just wanted to share. I know if I told my friends they'd think it's no big deal but I'd like to see them approach a girl in public.

Well I had a couple flights today and I was reading "Pook's: 15 Lessons" during my first flight and I printed that article out a while ago and one thing that stuck was "rejection is better than regret."

So anyway, on my second flight I was on the phone with a friend and there was this HB 9 sitting there talking to some guys and I knew I had to grab my balls and ask her if she was single. We were on a small regional jet and I had a seat to myself at the back and she sat close the back as well but not close enough to talk. The flight was fun and we hit some very bad turbulence. I love to fly but this turbulence actually scared the crap out of me but I was laughing afterwords. I got to thinking about how scared I felt during the turbulence and how scared I felt just thinking about my attempt to ask the girl out after the flight was over and I was laughing at how rediculous it was that the fear of approaching her was greater than the fear from the turbulence.

Anyway, I had my copy of "Pook's" 15 Lessons" and kept in mind the "rejection is better than regret." Long story short as we started to leave the plane I looked at her, smiled and said hi, and she let me go passed her down the aisle. I was like one seat in front of her and I stopped (yes, I was on the verge of chickening out) turned around and said "excuse me......I just had to ask....are you single?"

Since I'm in it for the learning experience, anything would have been a good answer but she gave a big smile, looked at me and said "sorry, but I'm engaged." I smiled back and said "that's cool, I just wanted to know....have a good day."

I ended up seeing her again in the terminal and wasn't sure what to say again but said "Good luck on your engagement and left the airport smiling."

So for you guys who have never approached a girl in public....it's one hurdle you need to get over. I'm no expert on approach, obvoiusly but this was an HB 9, brunette, gorgeous smile and she looked what I call "scary hot" but she didn't bite me head off, slap me, frown or yell at me for trying to be a player.

I guess another thing I'd like to see from this thread is, what was your first DJ approach and how did it go? I'd like to know.

 

[FM 3321]

Re: Re: FR: My first public approach...

Originally posted by GodsGiftToWomen
Hehe bad news first. You have over 200 posts and this was your first approach? WTF is wrong with people on the forums these days! "Are you single?" Has anyone ever heard of the dj bible?

OK now the good news! You made you first approach. Congrats. Better late than never. Now keep it up! You're gonna get rejected a lot but don't worry because rejection is part of success. Keep at it!

I know...maybe a little shameful....I have to admit it. 200 posts in 6 months and 1 serious approach.

I've approached girls in clubs before but approaching a girl in a place that girls aren't expected to be "hit" on seems a little different. I have a feeling that few people on this forum have done serious public approaches and I think that's one of the shells that we all need to break.

I was scary up to the point, had to do alot of pep talk, picturing best case scenarios and stuff like that....added to "rejection is better than regret"....I was gonna do it if I had to make a fool of myself.

So I just wanted to share especially for those who are like me who have posted many times and have never done a serious approach. I'm no God or anything like that and I still have a fear of approaching but doing it for the first time would be a great hurdle to overcome for anyone who's scared of approaching. I didn't get her number or anything but I felt great all evening just for having the balls to do it. Like I said she was a "scary hot" HB9 brunette.....awesome smile but there are others like her so that's cool.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Have fun with it.

I'm gonna make a recomendation, might make things alittle easier for you. I understand where you are coming from, when I first came here, I went through the boot camp 3 times in a row before I finally felt satisfied that I had completed it (the first time I didn't make it past 10 hi's in week 1).

One thing that I ended up doing that was kinda fun, to get used to the whole idea that approaching isn't that bad. (I was still a computer tech at the time) I was out with some friends, and everytime that they would say anything along the lines of 'that girl is hot' or 'check her out', I would go up to the girl and just spit the most rediculous pick-up lines I could think of ('hey, did you see a fat penguin? No?!?! Damn, what else could I use to break the ice?') just to try and get them to smile. If they didnt I would joke, 'sorry, I guess you don't have a sense of humour' and walk away. If she did I'd just say 'I bet that you had a nice smile... thanks.' Then walk away.

The other one that I would do, when I was with friends at the bar, I would get one of them to point out any woman. Then I would go up and just start a conversation with them... most of the time I got shot down, but it was still a lot of fun. Especially the reactions of my friends when I came back.

BTW, now that you've started you must do more before you lose momentum. Think of it this way, excelling in anything is like swimming upstream... if you take a break, you don't just stop, you start going backwards.

 

[[]D [] []V[] []D]

Originally posted by FM 3321
This is nothing spectacular but it's the very first time I've approached a girl in public and conveyed my interest in her. I've noticed that there are beautiful women everywhere and from what I've heard it's easier to pick up women out of the club scene than in. Again, this is nothing spectacular but a milestone for me and just wanted to share. I know if I told my friends they'd think it's no big deal but I'd like to see them approach a girl in public.

Well I had a couple flights today and I was reading "Pook's: 15 Lessons" during my first flight and I printed that article out a while ago and one thing that stuck was "rejection is better than regret."

So anyway, on my second flight I was on the phone with a friend and there was this HB 9 sitting there talking to some guys and I knew I had to grab my balls and ask her if she was single. We were on a small regional jet and I had a seat to myself at the back and she sat close the back as well but not close enough to talk. The flight was fun and we hit some very bad turbulence. I love to fly but this turbulence actually scared the crap out of me but I was laughing afterwords. I got to thinking about how scared I felt during the turbulence and how scared I felt just thinking about my attempt to ask the girl out after the flight was over and I was laughing at how rediculous it was that the fear of approaching her was greater than the fear from the turbulence.

Anyway, I had my copy of "Pook's" 15 Lessons" and kept in mind the "rejection is better than regret." Long story short as we started to leave the plane I looked at her, smiled and said hi, and she let me go passed her down the aisle. I was like one seat in front of her and I stopped (yes, I was on the verge of chickening out) turned around and said "excuse me......I just had to ask....are you single?"

Since I'm in it for the learning experience, anything would have been a good answer but she gave a big smile, looked at me and said "sorry, but I'm engaged." I smiled back and said "that's cool, I just wanted to know....have a good day."

I ended up seeing her again in the terminal and wasn't sure what to say again but said "Good luck on your engagement and left the airport smiling."

So for you guys who have never approached a girl in public....it's one hurdle you need to get over. I'm no expert on approach, obvoiusly but this was an HB 9, brunette, gorgeous smile and she looked what I call "scary hot" but she didn't bite me head off, slap me, frown or yell at me for trying to be a player.

I guess another thing I'd like to see from this thread is, what was your first DJ approach and how did it go? I'd like to know.

GoodJob... GoodJob...

Now the next time you do it, maybe she'll ask if your single too!

LOL yo man... gj, i know its one of your first times or whatnot but haha i rmbr when i used to be like that!

I used to be so insecure about myself that i nvr looked up to look at a girl or else they'll think i look bad (like gr 6). Well haha keep it up...

But like... what would you expect her to say (like seriously), that your a b1atche for asking if shes single?? hahaha i still cant believe how ppl (including me) had ever thought like this before! Well gj keep it up.

 

[jwhite17]

FM 3321,

Great job on your first approach! You have done something that most guys will never do in their entire life: approach a girl in a public place while sober.

"Rejection is always better than Regret" is definitely true. Every time I've waited for a "perfect" moment to approach, the moment never came.

My first approach was about two years ago. Ahhh, how could I forgot! I saw this amazing looking blonde, blue-eyed chick at a restaurant. RIght their, eating my meal, I decided I want to meet this girl.

So, I walked out of the restaurant, and stopped this girl. I had a short convo, and found out she had a boyfriend. Too bad. I don't date girls with boyfriends. Then, I said, "it was nice meeting you, have a good day," and I walked away.

Even though I didn't get what I wanted from my first approach(a #), I grew into a better man that day.

Here's what I've learned after approaching 100+ chicks cold:

The suprising thing about approaching women in public is nobody cares. Your biggest fears are just your mind playing tricks with you.

Your mind has been programmed to think it is wrong to approach a stranger(let alone a girl!), and the reason cold approaching works is because most guys don't do it, so you become unique.

And besides, girls like guys who can go after what he wants. It shows courage, strenght, fearlessness, and most importantly, acting not as a boy, but as a man.

This is just the beginning. That one approach opened up a whole new world of available women. Go get em!

 

[Hellboy]

First off, good work grabbing your balls and actually saying something to her! It's a good feeling. Gotta start somewhere, right?

BUT, "Are you single?" is surely one of the worst things to open a girl with. It's intrusive, and too fast. What you did was made an overt statement of interest without having displayed any value to her. In the beginning, don't worry about whether she's single or not, just try to enjoy the interaction. But this is very hard to do in the cold light of day.

Clubs and parties are great places to pick up women. I find cold approaces in public are virtually useless. That's the case here in Glasgow anyway. Bloody antisocial city that it is. Clubs and parties however, rockin! Everyone is already primed to meet new people and will be much warmer to approach and much more relaxed having a little fluff talk to break the ice.

I never ask a girl if she in single until I see IOIs. You should give her an opportunity to become attracted to you before you give her an opportunity to reject you. Even one minute of fluff talk is enough! If you are confident with your gaze and humerous in your words then you are much more likely to take things to the next level. And even then, a less blatant statement, like "so, your boyfriend must be wondering where you are" is great, because it gives her an opportunity to escape if she chooses, or to stay if she chooses. If the girl then tells me she has no boyfriend, then combined with rapport and good body language I take that as a green light to go in for a kiss.

If you're looking to get laid you can find a new girl every night.

If you're looking for something more serious, then the quality girls are there but a little bit more difficult to track down. The best way to find quality girls is to be introduced to them through various social circles. So get socialising!

Good luck

 

[Funkopotamus]

Re: Have fun with it.

Originally posted by So pimp its scary

BTW, now that you've started you must do more before you lose momentum. Think of it this way, excelling in anything is like swimming upstream... if you take a break, you don't just stop, you start going backwards.

This is so true!

I was on a roll for a few weeks. I went out last weekend and got shot down by at least five ladies in a row. Was at the store last night and hooked up a date for wed night on a cold public approach.


Keep at it fellas there will be those days when every woman you meet will just hate men/not be in the mood/ or just not single.

 

[FM 3321]

Thanks for the replies and words of encouragement.


I know I need to take a serious look at the DJ Bible but I'm suprised to see that "are you single?" is a bad question to start off with. I noticed in Pugs 100 Approach Journal he used the same line and this guy Brian in David DeAngelo's interview series also uses "are you single?"

Too bad I can't read this forum from work so I'll have to wait to get home to come back and study the DJ Bible.

 

[Climax]

Originally posted by FM 3321
Too bad I can't read this forum from work so I'll have to wait to get home to come back and study the DJ Bible.

Print it out .. Just dont let ur boss find it


Laterz...

 

[FM 3321]

Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
Print it out .. Just dont let ur boss find it


Laterz...

Since we're on a corporate internet network the servers block this website.

 

[FM 3321]

Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
Print it out .. Just dont let ur boss find it


Laterz...

Since we're on a corporate internet network the servers block this website.

 

[FM 3321]

....

 

[Climax]

Originally posted by FM 3321
Since we're on a corporate internet network the servers block this website.

I'm sure u can get a friend or someone to print it out for you? or u can go to an internet cafe and print it out? .. MAKE A PLAN!


Laterz...

 

[smooth101]

Nothin wrong with "are u single?"

FM3321, u are on the right track! The first cut is always the deepest. Now that u have that first approach under ur belt, subsequent ones will not be as edgy...

And if u ask me, that line "are u single?" is a cool line. There's a huge difference btw "are u single? and "do u have a b/friend?" (which smacks of wussiness), and I think pple on this thread are mixing the 2 lines up. Let's face it...no matter wot line u utter when u first approach a woman, she knows exactly wots happening. so, whether u are being direct or indirect in ur approach, she knows damn well that u want to hit on her. sure, "are u single?" is a direct approach and cuts thru the chase...and that's why it's a great line. with the right body language (said in a confident, laid back, almost suspicious tone), it demonstrates to the woman that u are confident and u are not afraid to speak ur mind. It also allows u to filter out those women that are available and those that are not. So, u dont waste ur time.

When u first approach a woman, the last thing u wanna do, is to get into a lengthy conversation (it smacks of neediness) with her. All u need to do really is get her info and zap. I've found out that when approaching a woman on the street, direct approaches like "can i ask u a question...are u single?" are more effective, cos u dont have much time to beat about the bush. In fact, I know guys who'll walk up to a woman at a b/stop or sth and say "I like u, wot's ur name?" all the while looking right into her eyes...and most times, the "victim" is like (mild shock) "eh, my name is <name>" and before u know it, she's writing down her email and number.

I think the words u say isnt wot's key here. The key thing is ur body language and how u say the words. So, if u go the direct way, and ur body language is congruent with wot's coming out of ur mouth, then u are likely gonna get a positive response. I'll say, for guys that are just starting out in the game (It's fun to see it as a game) using lines like "are u single?" is a great way to start.

And in this game, there are NO REJECTIONS!

 

[bacchus]

.

 

[HeartlessBtch]

GENIUS!!!! Can we get rid of all the keyboard jockies on this website and add more guys like you!?!??! Thank you...you have taken a step to help others make our lives much easier :cheer:

 

[Junior Sanz]

when you reak of confidence, your presence will attract many

 

[Hellboy]

I get what you're saying smooth, but still don't think it's a good idea. Why give a girl an opportunity to reject you on the spot? Women can be very wary of strange men (Even to the extent of forming b*tch shields). At that point all she has to go on is your looks, she has no idea what your personality is like. And looks alone don't work. Not with a quality woman anyhow.

There are an unlimited number of openers, most of which will give you an opportunity to shine your personality. Sure she can still reject you, but only by being pig ignorant.

But if you ask her if she is single you make it much easier for her. She can easily say 'no' even if she is single. And caught off guard, placed on the spot like that, especially in public, she might say no even if she regrets it later.

You should break the ice in a more subtle way, giving her an opportunity to relax before asking a more direct question like that. Even if it's only a minute of fluff.

 

[squirrels]

Why ask?

Hot girls always have a boyfriend or two on standby just in case YOU don't come along and sweep her off her feet. But you DID, so let HER worry about whether she's single or not.

That way when her boyfriend finds out you can be like, "Hey man, I didn't know!!"

 

[diablo]

Thread "Nothin wrong with 'are u single?'" merged with this thread.