FR: got too aggressive w kino and bartender

[BackInTheGame78]

I wouldn't sweat any of this. You escalated, she backed away at some point which is her right. Under the thigh is a bit much though if she's not reciprocating a lot.

Socially aware men just don't do this with women who are at work. Sorry. Unless they are doing it to you first or you are in a strip club and they are paid to have that done to them.

 

[New_Journey]

The mental masturbation is crazy in this post. She didn't like him. Period.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I actually feel like the field reports are what used to be posted more frequently and made for a far more interesting read rather than the 100 millionth "Women are only interested in guys 6'2+ with over $500k in the bank" b1tch sessions or some variation thereof. I say we should make an effort to post more field reports. Not less.

Yeah but the whole PUA stuff is played out. We've advanced. What can we learn from them at this point in the game? Pickup is extremely circumstantial and invidualistic.

I'd rather someone take all their experiences (not just PUA but long term relationships, observations on women in general) and distill it into insight and epiphany.

 

[Barrister]

Yeah but the whole PUA stuff is played out. We've advanced. What can we learn from them at this point in the game? Pickup is extremely circumstantial and invidualistic.

I'd rather someone take all their experiences (not just PUA but long term relationships, observations on women in general) and distill it into insight and epiphany.

I am certainly all for those kind of posts too. But there are a lot new guys who routinely show up here that don't have the same level of experience or learning when it comes to women that we do from having been here for a number of years. Dissecting field reports is generally the best way to learn from their mistakes and others' mistakes. Pickup is certainly circumstantial but it is where it all begins.

 

[SW15]

Dissecting field reports is generally the best way to learn from their mistakes and others' mistakes. Pickup is certainly circumstantial but it is where it all begins.

I like field report posts and I comment on them when I see them.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Socially aware men just don't do this with women who are at work. Sorry. Unless they are doing it to you first or you are in a strip club and they are paid to have that done to them.

Not my experience with bartendresses. They can be very frisky and that's why it's called "escalation." Everything is situational. However I think under the thigh was too far (and logistically weird, how does that work?). A very slight knee touch while talking would be safer IMO.

 

[Vanderdonck]

The thing is, I don't read anywhere that she's being frisky at all. In fact, nowhere does he state that she reciprocated his touch. And to continue touching and go under the waist, when she's not reciprocating? No wonder she got up from her stool and took her distance from him. That's a clear sign he's overstepping her boundaries.

The goal is not to touch women, but to have them reciprocate the touch or at least respond positively. No response and no reciprocation means no escalation.

And going below the waist while sitting on barstools in her place of work, where everyone can see her being pawed? That is really socially uncalibrated.

I see, true, point taken.

 

[Vanderdonck]

And try to see this situation from Caroline's POV. She's just being a friendly bartender and see what it gets her, getting creepily pawed by a regular customer taking liberties because she greeted him by name.
This is one of the main reasons I advocate against hitting on women working in the service industry.

Agree with you there. Gotta let them do the heavy lifting if they want to play. There are some workarounds, like leaving her your number so there's no pressure on her. Usually I'm the one being pawed anyway.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It always baffles me why guys are hell bent on hitting on waitresses and bar staff

Why does it baffle you? Combine horniness, loneliness and intoxication and it makes perfect sense.