For men 35+, where are you meeting the ladies?

oc16

Senior Don Juan
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#1
I'm 41 and sick of the bar scene/club scene (it doesn't work anyway).

More and more I am seeing that women need to warm up to you first (e.g, know that you are safe), this is why bars are awful and meeting women thru mutual friends usually works.

What has worked for you?
 

evan12

Master Don Juan
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#2
Assuming you are already in shape and above average on men in your age , you can visit expos , events , having hobbies that help youmeet women , business networking event.
for average men , social circle is their best bet , try to go to church and or any community to build social circle. but if you are above average , then events and other places when you meet women will work for you.
Maybe adopt some cause and pretend you are really into that cause, then join activities to support that cause , I know a guy who is vegetarian and attend many events like running , food events, fund raising , etc and he built good identity around this cause.
men in the west are retreating from society so basically any activity you attend you will find a decent number of women there, and many of them are for same of your reason !
 

oc16

Senior Don Juan
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#3
Assuming you are already in shape and above average on men in your age , you can visit expos , events , having hobbies that help youmeet women , business networking event.
for average men , social circle is their best bet , try to go to church and or any community to build social circle. but if you are above average , then events and other places when you meet women will work for you.
Maybe adopt some cause and pretend you are really into that cause, then join activities to support that cause , I know a guy who is vegetarian and attend many events like running , food events, fund raising , etc and he built good identity around this cause.
men in the west are retreating from society so basically any activity you attend you will find a decent number of women there, and many of them are for same of your reason !
Yes, I would say above average.

I am 6 feet, which I realize is tall since most guys are 5'7 to 5'10", in shape and no balding (although being bald works if you are not fat)
 
Joined
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#4
need to be bolder
 

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Music_czar

Senior Don Juan
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#7
Cold approaches don't work
Agreed, and when it does it’s so rare it hardly justifies the work put into it. Besides, I can’t remember the last time I saw a girl in person that I really wanted to approach anyway.

Bars/clubs are terrible, and you end up meeting party girls/bar slvts even if you do hook up.

Social circle used to be the best way, but these days if you ask a girl to introduce you to a friend most likely they will tel you to “just join tinder and bumble” because that’s where all their single friends meet men these days.

For me, I’ve met all my hookups/gf’s the last seven years thru online dating. They’re hot, young, and wild, but vast majority aren’t long term material.

A good place to meet women in the summer is private boat parties, every city has them. Just go on Instagram and add some of the guys who run the boats to the beach.
 
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#8
I did only one CA, years ago when I was 21. I was super hi-inhib back then (less so now). She was friendly and talkative. I panicked after about 10 min and said ‘nice talking to you.’ and left. She looked a bit confused at that. I still plan to try again. I think it’s a good excercise. Even though success chance is very slim.
 
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#9
interesting
 

In2theGame

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#10
35 now and I still meet Women at bars and lounges. No clubs which I hate, too loud and rowdy. I don't know where you're from but here in NYC I like hitting the "mature" bars and lounges. Plenty of Women and cold approaches do for sure work It's how you approach and what you say that show if its a go or not.
 
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Marek

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#11
Any hobbies of yours that could be pursued in a group? Has the advantage of you already having a common interest (check meetup.com).

Also OLD if you're sitting on the bog and bored. Just be very selective and don't go too far out of your way.
 

samspade

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#12
35 now and I still meet Women at bars and lounges. No clubs which I hate, too loud and rowdy. I don't know where you're from but here in NYC I like hitting the "mature" bars and lounges. Plenty of Women and cold approaches do for sure work It's how you approach and what you say that show if its a go or not.
I moved away from NYC this fall and that's one thing I miss about it. Always plenty of options and lots of horny women of all ages.
 
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#13
Work on your fitness and looks. I got my high school six pack back [ lost 30 pounds and I wasn’t fat but now somewhat ripped] and competing in athletics in my 50s. Women in their 20s and 30s are coming up to me now. Looks and body matter immensely today. It’s because a vast majority of guys are no longer in shape. Don’t kid yourself. Women like a man with a flat stomach and there are so few so if you have that and are a decent person the rest is easy.
 

oc16

Senior Don Juan
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#14
Work on your fitness and looks. I got my high school six pack back [ lost 30 pounds and I wasn’t fat but now somewhat ripped] and competing in athletics in my 50s. Women in their 20s and 30s are coming up to me now. Looks and body matter immensely today. It’s because a vast majority of guys are no longer in shape. Don’t kid yourself. Women like a man with a flat stomach and there are so few so if you have that and are a decent person the rest is easy.
Good for you. This one website where it talked about younger women and older men it said: "Young women pretty much want the wisdom and social status of the older man with a younger man's body"

I am amazed how a lot of guys 35+ just let themselves go. I guess it is easy to do that if you are married and off the market, but I will never understand single guys who let themselves get fat.

I am 41 and in pretty good shape. "When you look good, you feel good"
 

evan12

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#15
Good for you. This one website where it talked about younger women and older men it said: "Young women pretty much want the wisdom and social status of the older man with a younger man's body"

I am amazed how a lot of guys 35+ just let themselves go. I guess it is easy to do that if you are married and off the market, but I will never understand single guys who let themselves get fat.

I am 41 and in pretty good shape. "When you look good, you feel good"
keep your self fit require a will , and some people lack will power . Keeping yourself in shape is always good , you will be more likable and trustable if you are in shape
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!
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#16
In my experience the gym is the best bet for older guys to meet women of all ages, specifically the pool, hot tub, or sauna. The reason is because both the guy and gal can preview the goods. If you're fit, clean and relatively handsome you should have no problem. If you got tattoos that usually helps as a conversation starter.

But DON'T be one of those creepers that sneak into the ladies cardio classes, that's an automatic disqualifier for most women. And also don't be the guy that offers to help her with her form, that's also a creeper move.

What I've learned is that in a gym setting the roles are reveresed, meaning that she has to approach. If a guy approaches a random female in the gym it's viewed as taboo.

Here's the million $$$$$ dollar tip that's worked well for me: go on a crowded night, and let the ladies see you do wide-grip pull ups. If you're strong enough, do weighted wide-grip pull ups...wear a tank top if you can.

Women litterally get wet and h0rny seeing a guy do pull ups.

That's my trick. I'd do pull ups, then go out back to the cross training area and flip tires or just chill out with my shirt off. Women would "casually" walk by and smile. Some would try and start conversation.

If the convo is going well I usually try to ask her if she'd like to join me in the sauna or hot tub if she's got swim wear.

This strategy works with a decent 70% hit ratio.....
 

Howiestern

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#17
I'm 41 and sick of the bar scene/club scene (it doesn't work anyway).

More and more I am seeing that women need to warm up to you first (e.g, know that you are safe), this is why bars are awful and meeting women thru mutual friends usually works.

What has worked for you?
Some women warm up to you in 5minutes, others may take a few dates before they fuhk you. Most of the time it comes down to how you ake them feel. 3 of the last 4 girls I have been out with fuhked the first nite. 2 of those came out of bars. I knew within the first 10minutes of conversation with the two bar girls that I would be having sex with them that night.

There is no one single "honey hole" where they are all at. There is no secret to any of it. I get women from bars, OLD, and social circles. You can find them most anywhere and everywhere. Don't limit yourself.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
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#19
What I've learned is that in a gym setting the roles are reveresed, meaning that she has to approach. If a guy approaches a random female in the gym it's viewed as taboo.
Then if nobody is approaching you then that's not really an option. There is no real way of meeting women if you are an average looking type of guy since all the strategies start to fail. You are a creeper or stalker if you try to approach.
 

markfromeurope

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realm of infinite possibilities
#20
I'm 41 and sick of the bar scene/club scene (it doesn't work anyway).

More and more I am seeing that women need to warm up to you first (e.g, know that you are safe), this is why bars are awful and meeting women thru mutual friends usually works.

What has worked for you?
I'm younger than you but what I'd do if I were you would be following steps:

1) Invest in good photo session (near some old theatre, class 0 antique architecture) and dress well for this session (not stuck up, wear nice jacket, shirt etc. but don't overdo it)
2) Use these photos along some good holiday photos you have to create a dating app profile (I'd use Tinder or something that works better than Tinder in your area)
3)In the meantime, hit the gym and get as fit as 41y old guy can be

About 5-10% of young women have a thing about older guys, not necessarily the top quality of women, but it's hard to tell. You may find a diamond for you there.

Other than that learn how to pick up women in libraries or restaurant.

If you are single, you have free time to hit different places (restaurants, coffee shops) - waitresses or restaurant workers are usually young and quite hot. If you will notice IOI (indicators of interes - smile, eyes holding your sight a bit too long) have a short chat with them and go back to these places once or twice.

If you will still notice IOI's go for a longer chat and propose a coffe-date with them.

Just don't be pushy or too aggressive. Women that deal with customers are usually professionaly nice and know better than you when to stop talking with you. If your intution tells you there's something wrong about her attitude towards you (you don't feel comfortable around her) don't push for a date.

If you like her and she acts a bit goofy or are too nice (like artificialy goofy/weird that does not seem to be that natural for her) then she really likes you and it's a sure-win.

Just think about your forte - what worked with women for you your entire life and put this quality about you 'on steroids' if you can. If it's impossible, do it for your second-best quality.

Truth is you should not pick up women that put too many defences against you - sure you might be able to pick them up if you are ready to play a perfect game but you will eventually drop your guard and then she will see through you easily.

Best,
- m.
 
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