Field report: this happen to you guys?

[Bonhomme]

OK, here's the scoop.

Last night I was out at a show, and doing some real physical dancing with a gal. Lots of squeezing hands, body contact, a bit of grinding. She was obviously attracted as hell to me, but her mind obviously short-circuited the whole thing, and even though we got into it more than a lot of people do on good dates, she wouldn't even give me her # at the end of the night.

I think she wanted me, but couldn't deal with the idea of going out with an obviously older man. She was with a friend. Had she been solo, things may have worked out a lot differently. We were getting into it a lot more when her friend left to get a drink. probably should have # closed then, but I was just enjoying it, and not thinking about her friend.

Does this kind of thing happen to you guys?

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Not only that, but another gal -- not so young, but pretty hot in her own right -- started dancing and flirting with me (but not as physical) after I was carrying on with the one gal for a bit (I still kept most of my attention on the first gal, when she was around). Then, at the end of the show, I asked what her # is, but she said she is married.. Some evenings... Well, it was fun.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Why do guys trick themselves into believing that just because a woman is nice to him, smiles at him or dances with him a erotically she is 'obviously' interested in him? Women are human just like the rest of us and they enjoy having a good time. She was having a good time dancing, that's it. She didn't do anything special that she wouldn't do with any guy she was dancing with.

Guys, don't set your expectations so high on things that aren't definite. Unless she is focused on you don't forget to realize that she may just be enjoying your shared environment and not you. Do that and you won't be second guessing yourself about why things didn't work out as you' expected.'

 

[Bonhomme]

Good point

I did say attracted, not interested. It was fun, whatever the case.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Good point

Originally posted by Bonhomme
I did say attracted, not interested. It was fun, whatever the case.

Oh I gotcha. Yeah, I interact with of bunch of women I'm attracted to at work. We flirt and kid around all of the time but that is all that will ever come of it. They are attractive women but I haven't met one that I would even have a ONS.

Attraction works best when it's bidirectional.

 

[Señor Fingers]

One of the things I have learned is that you need a different approach when dealing with 2-sets. If she is with two or more friends, they can keep each other entertained and you got more freedom to run game. But if it's just her with her homegirl , then its not so smart to split the set like that...you really gotta turn up the charm and seduce them both. Not like a threeway or anything (unless thats what you want) but basically win her friend over so she will actually help you get those digits instead of being the cóckblocker. Remember that regardless of how nasty things get on the dancefloor, you are still an outsider and will often have to verbally finesse the situation in order to get IN.

PS- Dont sell yourself short buddy. Age is not an issue. My uncle is 60 years old and still goes to clubs and pulls more pvssy than I ever did when I was 18! Did I mention he is bald? Translation: No excuses!

 

[Bonhomme]

Yeah, Señor Fingers, good point!

I'm always cool to the other gal, but turning up the charm and seducing her too is a better way to go.

P.S., Good to see you back, Señor. Your tips are always on target.

 

[So Many Ways]

Your post is exactly the reason why I'm getting away from doing dancefloor approaches and approaching and initiating convo outside the dancefloor first. Yeah it is harder this way and involves more skill but I'm convinced that if I master this, I'll be well on my way.

I've experienced the same thing you have Bonhomme on many a night out clubbing. I've had married women rub their bodies all over me and even make out with me, only to find out their married. I've had chicks make out with me then vanish into thin air. On countless occasions, especially in my early days of clubbing in my early 20's, when I was going out 3 nights a week, women would grind on me for a couple of songs, then disappear. This was common.

The only way around that that has ever worked for me in the past when doing dancefloor approaches is to take her off the dancefloor after a couple of songs, either outside to the patio to chat or to the bar for a drink. Sooner or later, you'll need to talk to her at some point and establish rapport. Most of the club phone numbers I've gotten over the years happened because sooner or later, I had to have a conversation with her.

That's just my thoughts, I'm right here with you, trying to get my game up to speed.