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mikedee

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I was having a few beers last night, chilling in front of the computer. For no reason i started to look up at some old friends/people on instagram/facebook (men and women) I know in my twenties.

Now in my mid-thirties, living in another country where everyday is a new adventure that can bring me lot of surprises, trying to make it here, dating hot girls, fail, succeed, living an exciting life. All of them have settled down, got engaged or married, got kids (or in the process), work a lot, don't really have time to live anymore. I used to work in bars/clubs/restaurants, some guys I know were alpha, got plenty of girls bartending in hot venues, now they have settled down with really average girls, gained weight and lost that little something that made them "alpha" back then. While they were having fun, I was working on my things/figuring out a way to achieve my dreams, I had a good time too, I had hot girls too but in my work environment I was not the popular guy, I was the guy who doesn't go out with the rest of the staff/does his job and leave. I was not seen as a beta but more like the weird guy, everybody liked me but I wasn't invited to party, etc. All good.

Now I look at them and they live boring lives, my so-called friends at the time are not what they used to be, they settled down for less, have good jobs but their lives are pretty much over in my opinion, they got old quickly. They don't attract hot chick anymore, they are stuck in relationships with girls they wouldn't have dated when they were bartending or whatever. The girls, they got pregnant, are not as hot as they were, they ones that were smoking hot are slowly (quickly) loosing their hype, it's like they try to grasp the last moment of hype they can enjoy while they can. 2-3 years and it's over, some of them are not even 30. They have nothing interesting in front of them except a condo, a girlfriend/boyfriend (future mother/father of their kids), a steady job...

And there is me. Having the time of my life, having fun, struggling, trying to fix problems, improving myself... living. Still fit, look young, attractive, cool lifestyle, lot of possibilities, totally free, no kids, no depth, no house, car, responsibilities... They look miserable, they look average, small people. They are not bad people, they just look insignifiant. I have nothing against people who decide to live a "normal" life, but I thing nobody really wants to live an "normal" life. To me it's just a succession of bad decisions that leads to such a boring lifestyle. I have fun watching the hot girls I used to work with or tried to date getting older, they are approaching 30, and they still want to look like they are cool on instagram, but the reality is, they are expired. And they know it well. They have beta boyfriend or date beta guys. I look at them and I have no more attraction for them, I feel pity.

It's like I live on another planet, they stayed at the same place, I moved ahead and I'm doing something nice with my life. I must admit it's not easy to change life completely like I did, but everyday is a small victory, it keeps my young and funky. They are old folks already, while I have the time of my life. I'm sure my ex-girlfriend is stalking me on instagram and is like "wtfff he's dating young hot models, speaks 3 languages, he looks like he is having fun while I'm having a boring life with a guy I met on Tinder after I dumped him (me)". My ex-girlfriend left me 5 years ago, best thing that happened in my life.

Why do people settle for less? It's something I never understood. It blows my mind. Anyway, just wanted to share some thoughts.
 
Last edited:

Kotaix

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I've lived some of this lifestyle as compared to most of my childhood friends. I live abroad, speak going on 4 languages right now, etc. My best friend has told my significant others before that he envies the fact that I'm free and can live life in the way I want to. He chose to have kids, and his son is a veritable little monster, mostly due to the fact that his wife won't discipline him. I don't think he's unhappy and he's working his way, back at his art and so on. I don't know if it's still the case, but him and his wife were actually genuinely happy for a long time and are still attracted to eachother. Granted, she's 47 and looks like she's 30 (no joke)

In the end, it's a mistake to judge the lives of others from the lens of your own life though. Everyone can be happy if they choose to and happiness is different for different people.
 

mikedee

Master Don Juan
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I've lived some of this lifestyle as compared to most of my childhood friends. I live abroad, speak going on 4 languages right now, etc. My best friend has told my significant others before that he envies the fact that I'm free and can live life in the way I want to. He chose to have kids, and his son is a veritable little monster, mostly due to the fact that his wife won't discipline him. I don't think he's unhappy and he's working his way, back at his art and so on. I don't know if it's still the case, but him and his wife were actually genuinely happy for a long time and are still attracted to eachother. Granted, she's 47 and looks like she's 30 (no joke)

In the end, it's a mistake to judge the lives of others from the lens of your own life though. Everyone can be happy if they choose to and happiness is different for different people.
I agree, I dont judge them. But I think it's a small minority that are genuinely happy. They look happy from the outside but at home I doubt seriously. That's why people buy fancy non-senses, bigger tv, better cars, bigger house (even if not needed), they need to fill a void. But you're right, some are happy. I think most people decide to sett'e down because they are afraid of the unknown (doing something else). It also has something to do with education I guess.
 

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Young OG

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I was having a few beers last night, chilling in front of the computer. For no reason i started to look up at some old friends/people on instagram/facebook (men and women) I know in my twenties.

Now in my mid-thirties, living in another country where everyday is a new adventure that can bring me lot of surprises, trying to make it here, dating hot girls, fail, succeed, living an exciting life. All of them have settled down, got engaged or married, got kids (or in the process), work a lot, don't really have time to live anymore. I used to work in bars/clubs/restaurants, some guys I know were alpha, got plenty of girls bartending in hot venues, now they have settled down with really average girls, gained weight and lost that little something that made them "alpha" back then. While they were having fun, I was working on my things/figuring out a way to achieve my dreams, I had a good time too, I had hot girls too but in my work environment I was not the popular guy, I was the guy who doesn't go out with the rest of the staff/does his job and leave. I was not seen as a beta but more like the weird guy, everybody liked me but I wasn't invited to party, etc. All good.

Now I look at them and they live boring lives, my so-called friends at the time are not what they used to be, they settled down for less, have good jobs but their lives are pretty much over in my opinion, they got old quickly. They don't attract hot chick anymore, they are stuck in relationships with girls they wouldn't have dated when they were bartending or whatever. The girls, they got pregnant, are not as hot as they were, they ones that were smoking hot are slowly (quickly) loosing their hype, it's like they try to grasp the last moment of hype they can enjoy while they can. 2-3 years and it's over, some of them are not even 30. They have nothing interesting in front of them except a condo, a girlfriend/boyfriend (future mother/father of their kids), a steady job...

And there is me. Having the time of my life, having fun, struggling, trying to fix problems, improving myself... living. Still fit, look young, attractive, cool lifestyle, lot of possibilities, totally free, no kids, no depth, no house, car, responsibilities... They look miserable, they look average, small people. They are not bad people, they just look insignifiant. I have nothing against people who decide to live a "normal" life, but I thing nobody really wants to live an "normal" life. To me it's just a succession of bad decisions that leads to such a boring lifestyle. I have fun watching the hot girls I used to work with or tried to date getting older, they are approaching 30, and they still want to look like they are cool on instagram, but the reality is, they are expired. And they know it well. They have beta boyfriend or date beta guys. I look at them and I have no more attraction for them, I feel pity.

It's like I live on another planet, they stayed at the same place, I moved ahead and I'm doing something nice with my life. I must admit it's not easy to change life completely like I did, but everyday is a small victory, it keeps my young and funky. They are old folks already, while I have the time of my life. I'm sure my ex-girlfriend is stalking me on instagram and is like "wtfff he's dating young hot models, speaks 3 languages, he looks like he is having fun while I'm having a boring life with a guy I met on Tinder after I dumped him (me)". My ex-girlfriend left me 5 years ago, best thing that happened in my life.

Why do people settle for less? It's something I never understood. It blows my mind. Anyway, just wanted to share some thoughts.
Most of the people I went to high school with look like crap now. I'm friends with almost my entire class on FB. Most of the guys are fat, bald, and wrinkled. The women look disgusting now. There a few guys in decent shape but not many. I'm 39 and I look like I'm 27-30 yrs old. I'm also in great shape.

I had my high school reunion two weeks ago. It was supposed to be last yr but covid happened. People kept commenting on how I almost look to same besides having a beard. There were some people I barely recognized. Lots of the men are dating disgusting looking women. Some of these same guys were really popular and cVcky back in HS.

I'm out here living my life, having fun still, and I look great. These guys are living a boring life. I moved across the country and some of them still live in the same city. There kids are going to the same schools they went to. It's actually pretty sad and I sometimes wonder if they realize how sad and lame there life's have become.
 

stringpuller

Master Don Juan
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I was having a few beers last night, chilling in front of the computer. For no reason i started to look up at some old friends/people on instagram/facebook (men and women) I know in my twenties.

Now in my mid-thirties, living in another country where everyday is a new adventure that can bring me lot of surprises, trying to make it here, dating hot girls, fail, succeed, living an exciting life. All of them have settled down, got engaged or married, got kids (or in the process), work a lot, don't really have time to live anymore. I used to work in bars/clubs/restaurants, some guys I know were alpha, got plenty of girls bartending in hot venues, now they have settled down with really average girls, gained weight and lost that little something that made them "alpha" back then. While they were having fun, I was working on my things/figuring out a way to achieve my dreams, I had a good time too, I had hot girls too but in my work environment I was not the popular guy, I was the guy who doesn't go out with the rest of the staff/does his job and leave. I was not seen as a beta but more like the weird guy, everybody liked me but I wasn't invited to party, etc. All good.

Now I look at them and they live boring lives, my so-called friends at the time are not what they used to be, they settled down for less, have good jobs but their lives are pretty much over in my opinion, they got old quickly. They don't attract hot chick anymore, they are stuck in relationships with girls they wouldn't have dated when they were bartending or whatever. The girls, they got pregnant, are not as hot as they were, they ones that were smoking hot are slowly (quickly) loosing their hype, it's like they try to grasp the last moment of hype they can enjoy while they can. 2-3 years and it's over, some of them are not even 30. They have nothing interesting in front of them except a condo, a girlfriend/boyfriend (future mother/father of their kids), a steady job...

And there is me. Having the time of my life, having fun, struggling, trying to fix problems, improving myself... living. Still fit, look young, attractive, cool lifestyle, lot of possibilities, totally free, no kids, no depth, no house, car, responsibilities... They look miserable, they look average, small people. They are not bad people, they just look insignifiant. I have nothing against people who decide to live a "normal" life, but I thing nobody really wants to live an "normal" life. To me it's just a succession of bad decisions that leads to such a boring lifestyle. I have fun watching the hot girls I used to work with or tried to date getting older, they are approaching 30, and they still want to look like they are cool on instagram, but the reality is, they are expired. And they know it well. They have beta boyfriend or date beta guys. I look at them and I have no more attraction for them, I feel pity.

It's like I live on another planet, they stayed at the same place, I moved ahead and I'm doing something nice with my life. I must admit it's not easy to change life completely like I did, but everyday is a small victory, it keeps my young and funky. They are old folks already, while I have the time of my life. I'm sure my ex-girlfriend is stalking me on instagram and is like "wtfff he's dating young hot models, speaks 3 languages, he looks like he is having fun while I'm having a boring life with a guy I met on Tinder after I dumped him (me)". My ex-girlfriend left me 5 years ago, best thing that happened in my life.

Why do people settle for less? It's something I never understood. It blows my mind. Anyway, just wanted to share some thoughts.
I get were you are coming from but comparing yourself to other people or men to get a sense of accomplishment can have adverse side effects. Beware of that.
 

Machine10033

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Happiness only exists in the pursuit of greatness.... when stagnation sets in happiness is vacant... the goal is to pursue greatness until your too old and exhausted then replace happiness sigh satisfaction and have no regrets. Then die ‍♂
 

Sam_J

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I was having a few beers last night, chilling in front of the computer. For no reason i started to look up at some old friends/people on instagram/facebook (men and women) I know in my twenties.

Now in my mid-thirties, living in another country where everyday is a new adventure that can bring me lot of surprises, trying to make it here, dating hot girls, fail, succeed, living an exciting life. All of them have settled down, got engaged or married, got kids (or in the process), work a lot, don't really have time to live anymore. I used to work in bars/clubs/restaurants, some guys I know were alpha, got plenty of girls bartending in hot venues, now they have settled down with really average girls, gained weight and lost that little something that made them "alpha" back then. While they were having fun, I was working on my things/figuring out a way to achieve my dreams, I had a good time too, I had hot girls too but in my work environment I was not the popular guy, I was the guy who doesn't go out with the rest of the staff/does his job and leave. I was not seen as a beta but more like the weird guy, everybody liked me but I wasn't invited to party, etc. All good.

Now I look at them and they live boring lives, my so-called friends at the time are not what they used to be, they settled down for less, have good jobs but their lives are pretty much over in my opinion, they got old quickly. They don't attract hot chick anymore, they are stuck in relationships with girls they wouldn't have dated when they were bartending or whatever. The girls, they got pregnant, are not as hot as they were, they ones that were smoking hot are slowly (quickly) loosing their hype, it's like they try to grasp the last moment of hype they can enjoy while they can. 2-3 years and it's over, some of them are not even 30. They have nothing interesting in front of them except a condo, a girlfriend/boyfriend (future mother/father of their kids), a steady job...

And there is me. Having the time of my life, having fun, struggling, trying to fix problems, improving myself... living. Still fit, look young, attractive, cool lifestyle, lot of possibilities, totally free, no kids, no depth, no house, car, responsibilities... They look miserable, they look average, small people. They are not bad people, they just look insignifiant. I have nothing against people who decide to live a "normal" life, but I thing nobody really wants to live an "normal" life. To me it's just a succession of bad decisions that leads to such a boring lifestyle. I have fun watching the hot girls I used to work with or tried to date getting older, they are approaching 30, and they still want to look like they are cool on instagram, but the reality is, they are expired. And they know it well. They have beta boyfriend or date beta guys. I look at them and I have no more attraction for them, I feel pity.

It's like I live on another planet, they stayed at the same place, I moved ahead and I'm doing something nice with my life. I must admit it's not easy to change life completely like I did, but everyday is a small victory, it keeps my young and funky. They are old folks already, while I have the time of my life. I'm sure my ex-girlfriend is stalking me on instagram and is like "wtfff he's dating young hot models, speaks 3 languages, he looks like he is having fun while I'm having a boring life with a guy I met on Tinder after I dumped him (me)". My ex-girlfriend left me 5 years ago, best thing that happened in my life.

Why do people settle for less? It's something I never understood. It blows my mind. Anyway, just wanted to share some thoughts.
99% of people do what society/family/parents/friends/religious myths, etc, expect of them. They fear being judged by other people for what they are doing more than they actually want to change their lives and do what they truly want.
 

Bingo-Player

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99% of people do what society/family/parents/friends/religious myths, etc, expect of them. They fear being judged by other people for what they are doing more than they actually want to change their lives and do what they truly want.
Indeed it's societal construction .......most things in life are set up by design to accomodate , families , children , couples

Not adhering to that lifestyle is largely frowned own when you combine that with a females natural desire to settle down and have children as early as possible what you end up with is a whole bunch of people stuck in routines some of them may be able to convince themselves they are fulfilled

Routine is where creativity and adventure goes to die ......routine is nice if you are approaching 60 and don't have much energy any longer and want an easy life even then really you should be making the most out of your life
 

SW15

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Most of the people I went to high school with look like crap now. I'm friends with almost my entire class on FB. Most of the guys are fat, bald, and wrinkled. The women look disgusting now. There a few guys in decent shape but not many. I'm 39 and I look like I'm 27-30 yrs old. I'm also in great shape.
I'm 38, so I'm at a similar spot in life. I have few members of my class in my FB friend list. I can see many high school classmate's FB pages. I might not see all their stuff but seeing their public profiles is often enough.

One of the most attractive women from my high school (one class behind mine) got a significant amount of gray hair by 32-34 years old. She didn't get fat though.

With the women I've seen from my high school class, I've not been impressed with too many of them. The most attractive woman from my graduating class has aged well to 38 but I don't think she has any kids or has ever been married. That's a little surprising from the most attractive woman of any graduating class, but more common with the Millennial generation. My graduating class is an early Millennial cohort.

I had my high school reunion two weeks ago. It was supposed to be last yr but covid happened. People kept commenting on how I almost look to same besides having a beard. There were some people I barely recognized. Lots of the men are dating disgusting looking women. Some of these same guys were really popular and cVcky back in HS.

I'm out here living my life, having fun still, and I look great. These guys are living a boring life. I moved across the country and some of them still live in the same city. There kids are going to the same schools they went to. It's actually pretty sad and I sometimes wonder if they realize how sad and lame there life's have become.
There are some boring lives from my graduating class. There are some that didn't go far from the local area. I wasn't that attached to the high school I graduated from due to numerous childhood relocations, including one during high school. I've had adulthood relocations as well.

I have not attended a high school reunion. I'm not sure if my class has even had one.


My experience is similar to what was described in this article. If I am ever interested in knowing what anyone in my high school class is doing, I try to find one of their social media pages. I have no interest in seeing any of them in person.
 

Sam_J

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Indeed it's societal construction .......most things in life are set up by design to accomodate , families , children , couples

Not adhering to that lifestyle is largely frowned own when you combine that with a females natural desire to settle down and have children as early as possible what you end up with is a whole bunch of people stuck in routines some of them may be able to convince themselves they are fulfilled

Routine is where creativity and adventure goes to die ......routine is nice if you are approaching 60 and don't have much energy any longer and want an easy life even then really you should be making the most out of your life
Yeah, a guy I worked with once admitted the only reason he got married is because it's what he was "supposed to do." And he would constantly talk about and fantasize about all the female celebrities he wanted to have sex with but obviously never would. Most people just live in a fantasy world and do what they don't actually want to do because they're afraid of getting disapproved of by others. At least this guy actually admitted that's what he was doing.
 
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