Experienced Guys [+40y old] advice for younger men

Joined
Feb 13, 2017
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#1
as above.

I'm particularly interested in advice from:
- successful guys that are divorced - was it worth to marry in your opinion in the long run?
- successful guys regarding friendships - how many male friends do you have? Where did you meet them? Did this friendship turn your life for better?
- successful single guys with no children - would you still like to have children? Did you ever want them? Is it important for you to still find someone special to have children with?
- successful guys that invested in their education in their mid thirties - how did it pay off? What did you do? What would you advice to do right now (languages, courses etc.) for carreers like accountant, lawyer, bussiness man
- successful guys that married pretty but poor ladies - did their youth and looks counterbalanced necessity for you to bare the weight of responsibility for whole family?

Feel free to respond if you don't perceive yourself as successful as well.

Your experience may still be invaluable for younger of us and yes, there's always someone that value your experience, good and bad.

Best,
- m.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
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#2
I'm 35 but to answer two questions you have:
- successful single guys with no children - would you still like to have children? Did you ever want them? Is it important for you to still find someone special to have children with?
- successful guys that invested in their education in their mid thirties - how did it pay off? What did you do? What would you advice to do right now (languages, courses etc.) for carreers like accountant, lawyer, bussiness man

Single with no children for me and overall... I do want children but I know the danger i put myself in so it's a difficult situation. Say I have a kid and things are great. I'm a father now and with that comes very serious responsibilities which is expected because I want to raise a great child however.... If the mother of my kid(s) decides she wants to leave the relationship or wants to be involved with another Man, where does that leave me? In court battling to see my own kids? having to deal with another Man around my children? Having to deal with her potential made up stories that will deeply impact me financially and/or push my children against me? Who the fvck would want that. I definitely don't and its sad. Knowing what I know from a lot of experience with Women is that there is no telling what they are going to do and therefore I do not trust them. I can't just up and leave her because kids are involved. It just has disaster and massive stress written all over it. I know many of my friends that are in that situation and it's a tough one to be in.


For success, The best thing you can do is invest in yourself via. financial education with courses on how to start a business and with that, plan to have multiple sources of income. Use the leverage we have today that can give you all the information you need which is the internet and the ability to reach out to people anywhere and everywhere. Join mastermind groups or groups that have a similar interest in what you are trying to achieve. If you want to be a millionaire, You must try and get into those circles because they will influence your mentality and thought process. Learn ecommerce which is where most businesses will be and it will continue to have massive growth in the future. Many young men and women are making $25k - $100K a month because of it and once you get the understanding of how to set the business model up, You can begin making progress towards this. I know someone who makes $5K - $8K almost on a daily basis and it is not too difficult once you have found a process for yourself.
 

R.U.G.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
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#4
Advice from the @R.U.G.

Before you even entertain an LTR or heaven forbid, marriage, you need to get your financial ducks in order. Preferably at least have a net worth of a million bucks by 40 (though, it should be earlier). Don't live a flashy life and stick to the basics; or at least a moderate type of living. Next, place your assets in an irrevocable trust with a trusted person or persons as trustees. Give yourself a stipend from the trust. If you own your own business, like me, you place those members (if an LLC) or the shares (S-Corp or C-Corp) in the trust as well. Your retirement accounts, bank accounts, investment accounts, etc. all as the trust beneficiary, not you or someone else. As long as you do not co-mingle the funds, you are fine, a POS family court judge cannot touch them. He or she can petition the trustee, however, they can ignore the request; usually, since the trust funds are owned by the trust, not you. Different states have different laws. You need to check with an estate attorney to set things up correctly.

I am not against child support, but I am against unreasonable child support. I am fully against alimony. When I was married, I purposely and legally reduced my salary below my then wife's to ensure she couldn't get a dime in alimony from me.

Just remember, you cannot be the beneficiary of the trust. It can be a family member, a charity, whatever. You then setup another LLC as an operating account. The trust pays you fees to manage your business, and then the other LLC pays you a salary. Yes, it's a lot of hoops to jump through, however, things are a lot easier now with the Internet and you must protect your assets from everyone. The State is all too happy to take from you and make you penniless and give you your baby mamma. It should cost around 5k to setup an irrevocable trust. Oh, your home, that is owned by an LLC, which in turn, is owned by the trust as well. You never buy the house with the baby mamma or put her name on it. You name is not on it either. Why? Simple, they can eject you from the house and give it to your baby mamma. Whereas, if the trust owns the house, the trust controls who lives there. That is why you will have the trust setup a lease agreement between the house LLC and you (notarized is best) You pay the trust with commingled funds and you're usually in the clear. Again, an estate attorney can walk you through the process. It sounds more complicated that it is.

I already went through the process and speaking from experience. However, though I have a law degree, I do not practice law, nor does this constitute as legal advice. This is just a guide and you will need to seek out the proper channels for legal advice. For all intense and purposes, this advice is worth what you paid for it. :) However, this is what I used, and I survived not giving a dime to my wife, and she ended up, well, with zero except for a legal bill.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
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#5
- successful guys that are divorced - was it worth to marry in your opinion in the long run?

Yes, because it was still a good relationship and I learned plenty. My divorce didn't cost me anything.

- successful guys regarding friendships - how many male friends do you have? Where did you meet them? Did this friendship turn your life for better?

Not many, maybe 2-3 close male friends, and I don't live near any of them any more. Met long ago, high school, early days of career, etc. All good friendships help in life in my opinion.

- successful single guys with no children - would you still like to have children? Did you ever want them? Is it important for you to still find someone special to have children with?

Possibly. This is something I've thought about lately. Maybe my "clock is ticking." Ha. I didn't want them in the past. It might be nice to find someone who'd make a good wife and mother, but I have other focuses now (school, career) before I consider that.

- successful guys that invested in their education in their mid thirties - how did it pay off? What did you do? What would you advice to do right now (languages, courses etc.) for carreers like accountant, lawyer, bussiness man

I'm in grad school now so am not sure how it will pay off - except that I'm enjoying it.

- successful guys that married pretty but poor ladies - did their youth and looks counterbalanced necessity for you to bare the weight of responsibility for whole family?

n/a
 

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R.U.G.

Master Don Juan
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#6
successful guys that are divorced - was it worth to marry in your opinion in the long run?

No. Too much left up in the air with the Family courts in the US. This was my primary reasoning for ending the marriage.

- successful guys regarding friendships - how many male friends do you have? Where did you meet them? Did this friendship turn your life for better?

A few close friends, dozens of associates. Work, meets, events, social gathering.

- successful single guys with no children - would you still like to have children? Did you ever want them? Is it important for you to still find someone special to have children with?


Possibly, but not worth putting my assets on the line. I'm only 42, so I have time.


- successful guys that invested in their education in their mid thirties - how did it pay off? What did you do? What would you advice to do right now (languages, courses etc.) for carreers like accountant, lawyer, bussiness man

I have three degrees, never used one. If you are able, start your own business and grow. If you have the funds, nothing wrong with a good franchise.

- successful guys that married pretty but poor ladies - did their youth and looks counterbalanced necessity for you to bare the weight of responsibility for whole family?

No. My ex-wife earned a competitive wage in a challenging career. Couldn't care less what she has financially. [/QUOTE]
 

Spaz

Master Don Juan
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#8
Very hard to come by these days. Not impossible, just hard to come by.
True because it actually depends on the man.

The man creates it. Man has always been the creator.

It's when men starts following women you'll notice things breaking down.

Women are chaos and in that chaos man provides the leadership thus ensuring stability and balance is achieved.
 

Trump

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
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#9
Advice from the @R.U.G.

Before you even entertain an LTR or heaven forbid, marriage, you need to get your financial ducks in order. Preferably at least have a net worth of a million bucks by 40 (though, it should be earlier). Don't live a flashy life and stick to the basics; or at least a moderate type of living. Next, place your assets in an irrevocable trust with a trusted person or persons as trustees. Give yourself a stipend from the trust. If you own your own business, like me, you place those members (if an LLC) or the shares (S-Corp or C-Corp) in the trust as well. Your retirement accounts, bank accounts, investment accounts, etc. all as the trust beneficiary, not you or someone else. As long as you do not co-mingle the funds, you are fine, a POS family court judge cannot touch them. He or she can petition the trustee, however, they can ignore the request; usually, since the trust funds are owned by the trust, not you. Different states have different laws. You need to check with an estate attorney to set things up correctly.

Just remember, you cannot be the beneficiary of the trust. It can be a family member, a charity, whatever. You then setup another LLC as an operating account. The trust pays you fees to manage your business, and then the other LLC pays you a salary. Yes, it's a lot of hoops to jump through, however, things are a lot easier now with the Internet and you must protect your assets from everyone. The State is all too happy to take from you and make you penniless and give you your baby mamma. It should cost around 5k to setup an irrevocable trust. Oh, your home, that is owned by an LLC, which in turn, is owned by the trust as well. You never buy the house with the baby mamma or put her name on it. You name is not on it either. Why? Simple, they can eject you from the house and give it to your baby mamma. Whereas, if the trust owns the house, the trust controls who lives there. That is why you will have the trust setup a lease agreement between the house LLC and you (notarized is best) You pay the trust with commingled funds and you're usually in the clear. Again, an estate attorney can walk you through the process. It sounds more complicated that it is.

I already went through the process and speaking from experience. However, though I have a law degree, I do not practice law, nor does this constitute as legal advice. This is just a guide and you will need to seek out the proper channels for legal advice. For all intense and purposes, this advice is worth what you paid for it. :) However, this is what I used, and I survived not giving a dime to my wife, and she ended up, well, with zero except for a legal bill.
To create a trust to provide income and inheritance for just one spouse, any judge would consider that unreasonable. But I guess it worked for you.

Personally I like to play poker and see what she’s about. Lay cards on the table and expose everything. If she refuses to her sign with her 2 lawyers and 5 of her bridesmaids as witnesses, you know much faster there is an ulterior motive.
 

R.U.G.

Master Don Juan
Joined
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#10
True because it actually depends on the man.

The man creates it. Man has always been the creator.

It's when men starts following women you'll notice things breaking down.

Women are chaos and in that chaos man provides the leadership thus ensuring stability and balance is achieved.
Not everything and everyone will be as black and whiter as that. I consider the game with women similar to the game of chess. Each move is a calculated one; whether premeditated or not.
 
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R.U.G.

Master Don Juan
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#11
To create a trust to provide income and inheritance for just one spouse, any judge would consider that unreasonable. But I guess it worked for you.

Personally I like to play poker and see what she’s about. Lay cards on the table and expose everything. If she refuses to her sign with her 2 lawyers and 5 of her bridesmaids as witnesses, you know much faster there is an ulterior motive.
The beneficiary would not be the spouse (I.E. me), it was my siblings. I can only go on about NY law, as NY law for irrevocable trusts have a special caveat. Well, two of them. One, they are unbreakable (unless fraudulent covalence) after 3 years. Two, the grantor (I.E. me), is able to break the irrevocable trust at his or her request.

Your way is okay as well. However, when the chips are down, the law of the land works. A prenup in blue States, is usually worthless without a guaranteed payout for the lessor spouse as well as a sunset clause (10 years), a judge will throw it out. A judge, by NY statue cannot break the vail of an irrevocable trust after 3 years and zero fraudulent covalence. This has case law protecting it. I know what I am doing, as I am the one who set it up with two other lawyers from different firms signing off on it as well as CPA approval. Therefore, if it was overturned, all three would be on the line for my losses. It was 100%. However, my divorce lawyer still made a tidy sum to take down her arguments against any division of assets. At $450.00 an hour, she was just running up the legal bill to hurt me that way. It was getting so ridiculous on the BS claims, which were denied on each filing, I personally called the judge's clerk and was able to get the case moved up due to fruitless motions which held no merit by the defendant (my ex-wife). The judge signed off on the divorce 2 weeks later.

All this bullsh!t for nothing. Some women don't learn. This is why gentlemen, if you have assets or plan to have assets later on, either no marriage, marriage with an irrevocable trust, or co-habitation with a woman along with a co-habitation agreement. Or, you can chance it on your own with the courts and your ex-partner's good will. We live in a litigious society nowadays. You need to think a few steps ahead of the game and prepare. Divorce can get ugly even it is/was a short marriage. Only a fool would not protect themselves.
 

Howiestern

Master Don Juan
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#12
- successful guys that are divorced - was it worth to marry in your opinion in the long run?
Definitely. No matter the experience, you can always learn from it. A man with experience always trumps a man with a theory.

- successful guys regarding friendships - how many male friends do you have? Where did you meet them? Did this friendship turn your life for better?
I have 4 really close male friends that I see often. 1 of them I met on a forum, the others I met thru social circles. None of them made my life better. my life was great before they came along.

- successful single guys with no children - would you still like to have children? Did you ever want them? Is it important for you to still find someone special to have children with?
No desires to have children these days. There was a brief period I considered it but no regrets.
 
Joined
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#13
I'm 35 but to answer two questions you have:



Single with no children for me and overall... I do want children but I know the danger i put myself in so it's a difficult situation. Say I have a kid and things are great. I'm a father now and with that comes very serious responsibilities which is expected because I want to raise a great child however.... If the mother of my kid(s) decides she wants to leave the relationship or wants to be involved with another Man, where does that leave me? In court battling to see my own kids? having to deal with another Man around my children? Having to deal with her potential made up stories that will deeply impact me financially and/or push my children against me? Who the fvck would want that. I definitely don't and its sad. Knowing what I know from a lot of experience with Women is that there is no telling what they are going to do and therefore I do not trust them. I can't just up and leave her because kids are involved. It just has disaster and massive stress written all over it. I know many of my friends that are in that situation and it's a tough one to be in.


For success, The best thing you can do is invest in yourself via. financial education with courses on how to start a business and with that, plan to have multiple sources of income. Use the leverage we have today that can give you all the information you need which is the internet and the ability to reach out to people anywhere and everywhere. Join mastermind groups or groups that have a similar interest in what you are trying to achieve. If you want to be a millionaire, You must try and get into those circles because they will influence your mentality and thought process. Learn ecommerce which is where most businesses will be and it will continue to have massive growth in the future. Many young men and women are making $25k - $100K a month because of it and once you get the understanding of how to set the business model up, You can begin making progress towards this. I know someone who makes $5K - $8K almost on a daily basis and it is not too difficult once you have found a process for yourself.
What kind of e-commerce businesses do the people you know run? I am very recently diving into that world headfirst with FB ads and Shopify and would love to any advice.
 

highSpeed

Master Don Juan
Joined
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#14
as above.

I'm particularly interested in advice from:
- successful guys that are divorced - was it worth to marry in your opinion in the long run?
- successful guys regarding friendships - how many male friends do you have? Where did you meet them? Did this friendship turn your life for better?
- successful single guys with no children - would you still like to have children? Did you ever want them? Is it important for you to still find someone special to have children with?
- successful guys that invested in their education in their mid thirties - how did it pay off? What did you do? What would you advice to do right now (languages, courses etc.) for carreers like accountant, lawyer, bussiness man
- successful guys that married pretty but poor ladies - did their youth and looks counterbalanced necessity for you to bare the weight of responsibility for whole family?

Feel free to respond if you don't perceive yourself as successful as well.

Your experience may still be invaluable for younger of us and yes, there's always someone that value your experience, good and bad.

Best,
- m.
At 44, and after a couple of marriages, I look at it this way: Marriage is a bad investment, period. Unless you hit the lottery or have an extremely tight legal framework for marriage, you're going to get either taken advantage of at some point or destroyed in the courts. This is coming from a guy that desired a family, kids but didn't fully consider the perilous position that this puts you in. Call me naive, call me stupid, either one might be appropriate I suppose but I liked the aspect of raising and developing fully functional little human beings. I liked the aspect of a life partner that you could share with, create things with and go through life as a team.

However, then there is reality, you're bringing someone else into your world that can misuse and take advantage of the things you create with them. I may be speaking with a broad brush but I think that men are generally more loyal than women. Most men would prefer to have the kind of things that I mention here. The reality though, is that the vast majority of women can never be trusted to bestow this kind of power in a relationship on them. These women do exist but the problem with getting to that point is, you don't know what you got until you've got it. A woman can pretend she is that type of person and spring the monster on you after you've gotten together.

My hope in posting these kinds of things is not to be a downer or to be down on relationships in general, but to prevent other younger guys from going down this path. I've yet to meet the woman who I think that can be trusted with this kind of relationship power. You always have to keep them honest. That usually means not being fully invested in the relationship. This also usually means not having kids. Kids are little weapons that can be used to take advantage of a man, the kids can be weaponized against you in multiple ways.
 
Joined
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#15
How old are you? Typically, advice is handed down in one of two ways:

1. from the older generation: father to son, uncle to nephew, or

2. from a mentor who is senior in school and/or in profession or craft. This has long been the role of the fraternity system in western societies.

So what is the commonality here? There is a close relationship based upon trust. What is trust based upon? A detailed mutual knowledge: of the mentor's wisdom and trustworthiness and of the younger man's potential ie work ethic and intelligence.

Without this system where you can verify both parties and without any actual history of a relationship, mentorship is impossible.

as above.

I'm particularly interested in advice from:
- successful guys that are divorced - was it worth to marry in your opinion in the long run?
- successful guys regarding friendships - how many male friends do you have? Where did you meet them? Did this friendship turn your life for better?
- successful single guys with no children - would you still like to have children? Did you ever want them? Is it important for you to still find someone special to have children with?
- successful guys that invested in their education in their mid thirties - how did it pay off? What did you do? What would you advice to do right now (languages, courses etc.) for carreers like accountant, lawyer, bussiness man
- successful guys that married pretty but poor ladies - did their youth and looks counterbalanced necessity for you to bare the weight of responsibility for whole family?

Feel free to respond if you don't perceive yourself as successful as well.

Your experience may still be invaluable for younger of us and yes, there's always someone that value your experience, good and bad.

Best,
- m.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!
Joined
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#17
How old are you? Typically, advice is handed down in one of two ways:

1. from the older generation: father to son, uncle to nephew, or

2. from a mentor who is senior in school and/or in profession or craft. This has long been the role of the fraternity system in western societies.

So what is the commonality here? There is a close relationship based upon trust. What is trust based upon? A detailed mutual knowledge: of the mentor's wisdom and trustworthiness and of the younger man's potential ie work ethic and intelligence.

Without this system where you can verify both parties and without any actual history of a relationship, mentorship is impossible.
1)Asking for advice is not asking for mentorship. Period.

2)Typically you are talking with ppl in person close or professional enough to discuss such topics, yet you are talking to them here as well. People here are not for a typical convo really.

Asking somebody for stories from his own experience is invaluable due to the fact that even if these are the stories of specific people, this experience was true for them and you need to ask yourself a question why they were true for them.

There are factors that bent truth in these stories (like personal views or feelings) but it's the best you can get from another person that is not a classic mentor type for you. Mostly because feelings count as well. We are emotional creatures.

Do you need to filter them in search for a seed of truth? Sure. Do you need to apply double-filter that comes from the fact you receive reply only? Yes you do. But don't you filter what your father, mother or spouse tells you? I hope you do. Mostly because you should.

There's also not much mentor types around really - Jordan Peterson, even if narcisstic in his demeanor is a mentor type for sure in opposition to hundreds of dating coaches that sell you false knowledge because they don't have that spark which comes from high intelligence and wisdom. He has all the necessary qualities to be the mentor.

My age is below the star. Hope your perception allowed you to discover it.
 
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