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Ex Girlfriend Cliche


Don Juan
Jan 28, 2006
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Wait!! Before you tell me she's playing games and cut her off completely at least listen to my story.

I started dating this girl beginning of last spring semester. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and me(being an idiot) pounced on her. We went exclusive for a couple months when she suddenly grew cold. So she tells me she's breaking up with me because this whole relationship doesn't feel right. Fine.

So, me being the smart guy that I am, I stop talking to her. Didn't talk to her all summer but did see her on occasion since she lives with three of my friends. Fast forward to beginning of fall semester.

It's at this point I feel like I'm over her. I hadn't called her, texted her, had a conversation with her. I'd been with other girls, dated other girls, fooled around with other girls etc. So I'm free right? WRONG!! This is where I became an idiot.

Our first night back at school with all our friends she and I ended up staying up til 3 in the morning talking. Talking about nothing, everything, life, all that good stuff. This is actually what attracted me to her. Before we dated we were friends and we used to talk like that all the time. So, naturally, all the feelings came back.

About midway through the semester it gets to the point where we were basically acting like a couple again. So I go to her and say look we need to decide, are we going to be friends or are we together. She says "I want to date you again but I don't want to be exclusive" I interpret this as "I couldn't find anybody else I wanted so I'ma use you till I do" So I tell her no, there's no point in that. She simply says ok.

Two weeks later she's exclusive with one of my friends. My other friends told me she was doing it to make me jealous which I actually believed myself but I was tired of BS and drama. So, without telling her anything, I cut her off completely. Blocked her on AIM, Facebook, deleted her from my phone. That was it, it was over. This past weekend, at our big end of the semester party she texts me. "I've been thinking about you and I miss you and all of our deep convos". Now she's broken up with the guy.

To make a long story short I told her this straight up. "I've lost all respect for you, I don't trust you, and it will be a long time before I do if I ever do."

So what's my question you ask? Well the thing is I think she sincerely is into me BUT considering how things have been in the past she'll wake up one day and not want to be with me anymore. Honestly she's unlike any girl I've ever met and I miss her, but I'm sick and tired of being hurt.

So now my question. Should I even entertain the thought of:
1. Being friends with her
2: EVENTUALLY, not anytime in the near future, but EVENTUALLY getting back with her and yes I'm going to sound AFC here but the only reason I would entertain this thought is that she's wifey material.

Da Realist

Master Don Juan
Sep 1, 2005
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Memphis, TN
Number 1 is not an option. I say date her and date somebody else till she escalates things herself. Even then, keep some female friends around. The point is that she will have to put something towards the relationship instead of you just always being there.


Don Juan
Dec 2, 2008
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how about meeting someone new and moving on with your life. You act like she's your only option in life.


New Member
Dec 23, 2008
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The exact thing happened to me. Dated beginning of spring sem, broke up at the end, little contact over summer, grew closer again fall (to where she was sleeping over...), then she wanted to date but not be exclusive (to which I refused for the same reasons you did), and then she flirted a lot with someone I knew well right in front of my face while we were all hanging out. She was SO into me in the spring, but when I gave in (just like you did by staying up with her til 3am) and showed her plainly that I still liked her, she slowly lost interest, but still craved the pleasant tension.

I cut off all contact for the time being, and I think you should do the same. Maybe if you become completely detached, you can be friends with her...but I wouldn't count on it.

She misses the attention, not you--that's how I see it at least.