anunimuus magi As you are discovering... while mothers can be nurturing and caring, some mother's can also have behavior that is the complete opposite.
I'll add to the stories shared:
My mother kept hinting at wanting to become a grandmother (I suspect she wanted a do-over because she wasn't the best mom). I was her only chance of this and marriage and kids was never among my plans.
While in my twenties, a girl and I were on the outs quite a bit. After I broke up with her, she said "I should have listened to your mother." I asked what she meant.
Apparently when the gal and I were having conflicts, she'd call my mother for advice. My mother told her to become a "girl in trouble... because I would do the right thing."
After finding out about this. I later called my mother.
Her response: (said in casual tone that seemed to convey no guilt or shame .... just a plan vocal tone) .. "I didn't think that it was a bad idea."
I went two years without talking to her.