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ED after drinking too much

LateBloomer

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I have been dating this girl for a few weeks. She drinks like a fish and is new to my country so likes to go out all the time and is a social butterfly with lots of girlfriends.

She is quite a tense person who probably takes on far too much in her job and her social life and is constantly networking and trying to get ahead. So she probably needs the alcohol to relax. And after a few drinks she is much better company: more relaxed, more touchy feely, less inhibited and generally a lot of fun. Without alcohol she is quite self conscious feels embarassed by public displays of affection and is quite a bit colder.

I can hold my drink although it is quite difficult (and expensive keeping up with her). Especially as we seem to have a good time together and when we go out in the evening we will stay out for 5-6 hours having some dinner and then going to bars for drinks etc. So she'll easily knock back 4-5 drinks over that period.

Last night we went for dinner and then to a ****tail bar with some live music. After a few ****tails she was laughing at all my jokes, cosying up to me and kissing me passionately and hungrily. I took her home not expecting anything as it was a weeknight but she invited me up to hers. But I think a combination of tiredness and having too much drink meant that although I got hard I didn't quite get hard enough to penetrate her. She rubbed herself against me and we kissed and touched a lot but after a bit she said she had work tomorrow and didnt want her flatmates to see me in the morning so basically kicked me out.

She's been chatty enough today without really mentioning last night other than to say she has a lovely time.

But I have two issues I need help with:

Firstly, to avoid future embarassment what is a good way to explain that going forward I will probably limit myself to a few drinks without making her feel uncomfortable or thinking that I'm expecting sex or am boring and a *****. I do not need more than a few drinks to feel a buzz and aside from the ED drinking too much does make me feel more tired and makes it harder to lose weight and I am trying to get in shape after lockdown.

Secondly, what is the best way to address the failure in bed. Last night she seemed understanding and said we didn't need to do it tonight. I said I had a bit too much to drink and felt tired and it had nothing to do with her and I think she is really sexy. We might be going out again on Friday. Is it best to physically escalate and try to get her into bed while she is still hopefully hot for me and willing to give me another chance? Or should I ease off a little and just focus on having a good time and figure she will indicate when she is ready to try again?
 

HaleyBaron

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Alcohol causes massive ED, but when a girl sleeps over, the alcohol eventually goes away and Im hard as **** in bed, and end up ****ing the girl anyway. The key is that she has to stay over if I'm drinking a lot from a party. If you want to **** successfully, be well fed, horny, and little to no alcohol. Alcohol is for women. When they are drunk and horny, their vulva naturally opens. For us men, our cvcks stay flacid. Alcohol bad.
 

Bokanovsky

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Firstly, to avoid future embarassment what is a good way to explain that going forward I will probably limit myself to a few drinks without making her feel uncomfortable or thinking that I'm expecting sex or am boring and a *****. I do not need more than a few drinks to feel a buzz and aside from the ED drinking too much does make me feel more tired and makes it harder to lose weight and I am trying to get in shape after lockdown.

Secondly, what is the best way to address the failure in bed. Last night she seemed understanding and said we didn't need to do it tonight. I said I had a bit too much to drink and felt tired and it had nothing to do with her and I think she is really sexy. We might be going out again on Friday. Is it best to physically escalate and try to get her into bed while she is still hopefully hot for me and willing to give me another chance? Or should I ease off a little and just focus on having a good time and figure she will indicate when she is ready to try again?
No need to explain anything. Don't bring up last night again and act as if nothing happened. And next time, don't drink to a point where you get whiskey d!ck. Again, you don't need to explain that you are going to "limit" yourself. Just order fewer drinks. No explanation is required.
 

speed dawg

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I would suspect this is performance anxiety. We can tell you are thinking about such things, because this is the reason you are on SS in the first place. Alcohol certainly does not help, but unless you're hammered, it likely shouldn't matter physically. Every time I ever had ED, I would try to blame alcohol, eating habits, etc., but it was always performance anxiety. Calm down, take a deep breath, don't let things get weird.

Secondly, are you turned on by her?

If so, I would focus on what is making you clam up when around her. Stop worrying about what she thinks (i.e. quit trying to make her like you) and focus on having a good time with her. If you're doing it right, just act like you don't GAF at all about it happening last night and continue on like a boss.
 

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mrgoodstuff

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Very normal. Alcohol is a depressant, kills testosterone by 70% when its in your system, raises estrogen, and is bad for blood circulation. You get weaker erections after several drinks .

Counterpoint, the equivalent of one or two beers or two servings of wine may relax a nervous person and give a better erections for that nervous guy.

But enough drink to get buzzed to drunk equal weaker erections.
 

LateBloomer

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How much pomegranate juice do you usually take ubercat? And how long does it take to start working.
I think next time I see her I might pop half a Viagra just in case. But it deadens some of the sensation and gives me a bit of a headache and makes it difficult to sleep so I prefer something more natural.

I think she is in a work hard play hard phase.

Definitely will limit my drinking next time I am with her. But she is quite direct so will probably ask me why so need a good comeback that won't make her feel I am boring or uptight and won't make her feel uncomfortable if she keeps knocking them back while I drink soda water or something.
 

ubercat

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I have a short glass every day. Main thing it's good for is the heart but it also improves blood flow which is y good for ED. If you can manage to eat 3 red dates 3 times a week after your pom you will triple the effect. Have a Google on sciencedirect you ll see the studies
 

LateBloomer

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Took half a Viagra. First time round things were going fine but once I started fumbling for the condom I got in my own head again and flopped. But she was understanding and said we could take a break so we watched some TV and then she started initiating things and psychologically that must have helped because was fairly smooth sailing from then although I found the Viagra made it impossible to come. Obviously the benefit was it meant we spent a long time having sex but she seemed a little disappointed I couldn't come.

Also think that the chemistry might not be quite there. She is absolutely gorgeous but not my usual type. She is very petite doesn't really have curves and quite girlish. But emotionally it was very good and she was all smiles and purring with pleasure and we spent most of the next day together hanging out together and she was very sweet and affectionate.

I've had a lot of good but empty casual sex over the last few years since my last relationship so this is a bit different and maybe with time as my nerves dissipate a bit and I start exercising more and taking pomegranate juice and so on it will improve. Anyway thanks for the advice guys.
 

speed dawg

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So you ate half a viagra and still went limp. Shouldn't that tell you something right there?
 

xplt

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Took half a Viagra. First time round things were going fine but once I started fumbling for the condom I got in my own head again and flopped
Once it‘s in your head, it will stay there for some time.

The viagra should give you some confidence, knowing that you can get it up if you‘re turned on. If this fails, I would think about:
- Am I attracted to her?
- Do I feel her/her energy or is there a lack of?
- Am I too focused on myself?

I know your problem. I had to admit to myself, that I‘m not able to just have sex for pure satisfaction. I need some kind of mental stimulation, too
 

mrgoodstuff

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Once it‘s in your head, it will stay there for some time.

The viagra should give you some confidence, knowing that you can get it up if you‘re turned on. If this fails, I would think about:
- Am I attracted to her?
- Do I feel her/her energy or is there a lack of?
- Am I too focused on myself?

I know your problem. I had to admit to myself, that I‘m not able to just have sex for pure satisfaction. I need some kind of mental stimulation, too
That particular lady according to the information provided simply did not turn him on. That was where the bulk of his words were concentrated. He can try "letting" her give him head and see if his mind changes.
 

Barrister

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@LateBloomer

This has nothing to do with alcohol consumption so cut that act. And we have all been where you are at one time or another so there is no reason to be embarrassed. It tends to happen for a lot of people with someone brand new - but this is clearly all performance anxiety. If you can beat it by yourself with no problems then there is nothing physically wrong.

If you took half a viagra and still are having an issue I think your head (the one you think with that is ha) is telling you not to fu*k this chick for whatever reason. Maybe listen to it. If not, try a higher dosage to get that 1st bang out of the way and you likely are good after that. If you start focusing on not getting too soft in bed it is always a self-fulfilling prophecy.
 

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rjc149

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This girl sounds like an alcoholic.

If you’re going to drink with the fishes and expect to perform, avoid beer. Hops is a powerful phytoestrogen and combined with the alcohol, you’ll have the testosterone levels of a 90-year old man. Stick to vodka seltzer.

I have a Bluechew subscription (Cialis) that I use to stockpile pills in anticipation for big nights.
 

mrgoodstuff

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This girl sounds like an alcoholic.

If you’re going to drink with the fishes and expect to perform, avoid beer. Hops is a powerful phytoestrogen and combined with the alcohol, you’ll have the testosterone levels of a 90-year old man. Stick to vodka seltzer.

I have a Bluechew subscription (Cialis) that I use to stockpile pills in anticipation for big nights.
So beer is a stronger bones killer than vodka?
 

derby1

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you are totally overvaluing what sounds like an alcoholic, rest assured the same would not be done in return, you would be ghosted quicker than you can eat a sausage roll.

Alcoholic women are good fun(at first), theyre also impulsive, so love random C*ck.

Do not take this woman seriously,
 

speed dawg

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I know your problem. I had to admit to myself, that I‘m not able to just have sex for pure satisfaction. I need some kind of mental stimulation, too
This. And mastering this takes time, but has a big reward. The biggest key in confidence and acceptance of yourself. Nothing gets weird, just go with the flow.

It takes practice. Kill your inner embarrassment.
 
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