Double-date - I don’t get it.

Luc Byron

Don Juan
Jul 5, 2002
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United States of Europe
First of all, I’m quite new to your board (Hi!) and English is not my primary language – so PLEASE be assembly of NICE GUYS and don’t nag me with respect to my grammar. I only use grammar when I write in my primary language, and, well…you see, this is English…at least I hope so ;o)

I’ll try to get right to the point. Try. Nothing more.

One day I decided to try one of those Internet perso…no, wait…eh, yes: Dating-sites. Not because I actually believed that I’d find anyone interesting there (most of the people seen SO hollow and…hmmm, hollow is enough for me – at least the ones of my age…I’m 20)…but even smart people get bored once in a while ;o)
I upload a picture of myself and write a bit.
When I say a bit I mean 1000s of words…don’t want to know me when I’m in the mood for writing…not a pretty sight at all…

Then, among all those “I want your b*tt”-mails (I’m not into gays or older women, but I guess they are into the likes of me) and ”Hi!”-mails from dull teenage-girls, there is a mail from a girl who seems really nice.
I’m not fond of the idea of meeting anyone from the web, and don’t really try to make it more than it is. Aprox four months pass…and I actually grow a bit fond of the girl (and the other way around)…she’s shown me a picture of herself (poor quality, but a picture is a picture after all) and she is quite pretty (if it is really her – we don’t know YET ;o) ).
In one way or another it is decided that we shall meet face to face – and she suggest that we’ll make it a double-date (she’s got a friend who’ve also found someone)…and I say OK, thinking that she probably just want the security of not being on her own so to say.

The day arrives and I think that I’m going on a date with an intelligent, pretty girl.
I’m wrong.
She is strikingly beautiful (at least I think so, some might have other tastes) – a tall girl with all the right shapes, a cute face, long, curly, brown hair and wonderful green-brown eyes. And her personality makes her looks look pale in comparison.

But I said double-date, didn’t I?
Of cause I did.
There is just one problem. While I talk to “my girl”, her friend (who is also good-looking, not exactly my type, but still good-looking, I’m not blind) is getting ditched on the phone by her date, he didn’t dare to risk anything.
Stupid boy.
What to do. Hmm.
I’d prefer to spend some time with Miss Right to get to know her better, but it doesn’t seem nice just to leave her friend, so we take her along, I choose to look on the bright side (to be completely honest: what else could I do?), at least now I’ve got a chance to get to know her friend too, and to give her a good impression might be a good idea (theory: girls talk with each other, just like men do).

Our plan was to get some coffee (or tea, I don’t drink coffee…only with lots of whipped cream and chocolate, and then it is cappuccino, or maybe just whipped cream with chocolate, no need to pollute the good stuff with coffee ;o) – Suggestion I: Darjeeling tea is simply great. Try it out: No sugar, no milk…just pure Darjeeling tea), feed the ducks (and swans, gulls, sparrows…you get my point, huh?) and go to the cinema.
And so we did.
All three of us.
And we had a great time. Talking, laughing, feeding ducks…hey! – important part: I had suggested that we’d go feed the ducks, and you should have seen her face light up as she discovered that I actually had remembered bringing bread along. Now I hadn’t said that I’d bring bread, but, well, I thought it kind of obvious. Suggestion II: Don’t suggest something without remembering it in the hour of need so to say. Suggestion III: Go feed the ducks! I just thought that it seemed quite innocent, but while we sat there she said that she loves to feed ducks…maybe she really loves to feed ducks, or maybe she just enjoyed herself…either way she is having a great time, and that is the goal.
Apart from that there was only one specific thing that I’ll mention (oh: I also burned my tongue with my Darjeeling tea, but I didn’t really sense it until the next day – I was having a great time too): When we had finished Spiderman (she loves sci-fi and fantasy, so it was a natural choice…also a bit romantic) it rained (unfortunately, rain during the summer isn’t rare in my part of Europe), she immediately hands her jacket to her friend stating that she doesn’t mind a bit of rain…I, on the other hand, hands “my girl” a umbrella, and once again: God said – let there be a smile, and there was a smile (does I have to say that she was SO beautiful?). Suggestion IV: Do be considerate.

How it ends.
Guess this is an important part.
She suggests a second date a month later (she is leaving the country for a month, so I’d consider it a bargain) – without her friend, and gives me a big, warm hug.
I like hugging beautiful girls so I give her a hug in return.

All in all, it was a great day. First I was told that I’d passed my exam (No big surprise. I succeed. Just like gravity. Gravity is inevitable. Me succeeding is inevitable) and then I met a magnificent girl and had a great time with her (and her friend).

Conclusion: A double-date is NOT ruined because the other guy doesn’t show up…maybe for him, he doesn’t know what he has lost (her friend is a great girl too – and he didn’t meet ME).

Now, I guess I’ll have to comment the above a bit – after all the main purpose of me writing this isn’t bragging – it is to give some of the readers a good idea to two.

I haven’t read all the text at this site, far from, but I’ve got a good idea of the main tactics, so I’ll tell you what I “practice” with respect to these…compare, take what you think you can use, enjoy ;o)

  • Confidence: This one has number one priority (no big surprise) – if you want to have success, then you MUST have confidence. Believe in yourself – if you don’t, why should anyone else? Remember: You don’t need ANY girl, you want THE girl, but still: You don’t need her, not even HER. If she turns you down, then it is her loss, because YOU are the man of her dreams…but: If you like each other then don’t run away.
  • Charm: is important if you want to get in contact with other people – especially wannabe-romantic contact. Smile – with your entire body, not just show some teeth. Eye-contact. Lean a bit toward the one you talk to. Be interested. Nod your head, say yes and hmm (or what you say when you agree to something – whatever appropriate) when appropriate. Give sincere compliments. An innocent touch now and then is can also have a desirable effect.
  • Conversation: Don’t really know why, but I’m good at talking, doesn’t matter if it is small talking, having a intellectual struggle or addressing a crowd…once I had to take a course in communication…I only showed up for the exam or what you’d call it…speaking to a crowd - on some subject I can’t remember…I hadn’t prepared myself (didn’t know what subject I was going to talk about), but I knew a little about the subject and just started the show by coming with a humorous comment on some aspect of the subject…and when I’d said my last line the professor was astonished, she was happy that one of her students had done his homework ( ;o) ) properly.
    Now, I didn’t exactly analyze my behaviour during my show, but here is some if it: Eye-contact. With as many as possible. If someone isn’t listening, comment it in some funny way and be prepared for their defence, just shoot it down and get on with your show – it is your show after all. Be prepared to do this more than once. Gesticulate a lot – and be open, no crossing arms or the like. SMILE. Ask them questions, people don’t always expect this and follow up on ‘em – just don’t peck on some underdog (on one of the “leaders” is far better, even though they might be better to return the “attack”, but they most likely don’t expect it, because who would dare challenge them), be a man. Don’t be boring; a funny remark now and then is a must. Don’t “eehhh” and “hmmm”, speak slower that usual if that is what it takes for your brain to be able to catch up…but talk talk talk.
    Of cause, in a private conversation it is not your show, and you’d better let the other(s) talk, preferable more than you…but still maintain eye-contact and smile. If someone tries to test you, immediately turn it around – make THEM the target, but don’t be mean – keep it laid-back and witty. Don’t be afraid to make a positive statement about one of the other persons or about something they’ve said.
  • Consideration: Yes, I do help senior citizens in distress and I don’t smack the door in someone’s face. If your friendly…just wait and see, maybe the big asian guy in the local gym will greet you when he sees you and hey, that ain’t so bad.
  • Clothes: Spare us from seeing you without ‘em. Oh, no, I mean: Check your wardrobe – in need of some improvement? It doesn’t need to be very expensive, just nice comfortable clothes (not to comfortable though). Decent shoes – personally I prefer black leather running shoes or sneakers – my feet don’t like stiff shoes. Don’t be afraid of some colours – but also don’t overdo it, you don’t want to look like a f00king rainbow.
  • Smell good: Get yourself some decent colognes and deos. My personal favorites are Van Gils Between Sheets, Calvin Klein Eternity and Calvin Klein be, just loves be…my all time favourite…have heard lots of good about Chanel Egoiste Platinium, but never tried it myself.
    And do try to get your hands on some herbal foot-salt (for foot-baths), in my country a local apothecary shop sells its own blend…powerful stuff I tell you! – dissolves your feet if you don’t watch out (once I sat with my feet in the water for more than a hour, the next two weeks it was extremely painful to walk…but I’ve never had so nice and soft feet ;o) )…unfortunately they don’t ship outside the country, so you’ll have to experiment with what you can get. Hint: Girls also have sore feet…
  • Compliments: Don’t be so ordinary…don’t give her the same old compliments that everyone else gives her – oh, your neck is simply SO beautiful, the way your sternocleidomastoideus curves down to your clavicles…just so fine and delicate (please don’t tell me that you haven’t noticed it – I just love the sternocleidomastoideus muscle on a woman). In case you wonder: The sternocleidomastoideus is the powerful muscle that goes from the back of the jaw to the clavicles to the sternum, maybe it is called sternocleidomastoid muscle in English…don’t really know, sorry.
  • Honesty: I rarely tell a lie – only if I’m joking with someone or if it would cause too many problems and hurts to people I like…people don’t like a liar, and when you lie you always have to lie again to conceal your primary lie…it is hardly ever worth the trouble, and just what is wrong with the TRUTH?
    Note: ONLY give a compliment that you really mean – but hey, she is wonderful, of cause you mean it (say: YES!).
  • Fitness: Work that body, man! I really mean it…pay your local gym a visit now and then – personally I’ve decided that four times a week is enough, that is if I work so hard each day that I NEED one litre of water to complete my program without becoming dizzy.
    To be honest, I’ve never been some big Mr. Muscle, I’m 190cm tall and have a weight of 75-80kg, but at the same time you’ll find NO “extra” fat on my body, so when my anatomy professor asks if someone can show the rest of the class pectoralis maximus, rectus abdominis or whatever, then I’m pretty sure where it is located ;o)
    I’m generally not fond of fitness nutritional supplements, but you might consider some creatine (not more than 20g per day), it has some…desirable effects (won’t write a paper on creatine here, try to read a bit yourself)– and it is a part of a normal non-vegetarian diet.
  • Intelligence: Hi, my IQ is 164, how about yours? No, I’ve never been fond of IQ-tests, don’t feel I can use the result to much…even though I’ve had fair results, always between 135 and 164, but still, what does it mean to me?
    My advice is to find a subject that you find interesting, and then read a lot about it – personally I adore existentialistic philosophy (did anyone say Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Camus, Sartre, huh?), gothic poetry, psychology, modern novels, fantasy novels, cooking books (have taken advanced cooking classes – with lots of girls…for some reason boys don’t want to be able to cook…they also rarely do aerobics, believe me, aerobics is GREAT…maybe your friends will laugh at you, but you won’t regret trying aerobics, they, on the other hand, will regret NOT trying), chemistry…and medicine.
  • Humour: This is important! And by that I mean REALLY important. Look on the bright side of life. Crack a joke once in a while. If someone makes fun of you, then take it with a smile and then turn it around.
  • Patience: I’m not in a hurry…why should I be? Some of my friends want to have sex with a girl when they’ve just met her, and become irritated when she doesn’t want to (and walks away)…I on the contrary would NEVER have sex with someone I don’t know well (a girlfriend)…some girls don’t get it, but that is their problem, not mine.
    While feeding the docks “my girl”s friend asked me our of nowhere if I’d loose respect for a girl if I had sex with her on the first date. I immediately asked her if she’d cut of her right arm just for the fun of it…and she seemed a bit shocked and said no and what the hell I meant with that…I replied that I’d never cut of my arm because and would not know if it really was fun, nor would I have sex with a girl on the first date…and therefore couldn’t loose my respect for the girl because of it. Guess she was a bit baffled.
  • Courage: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? Yes, and if you don’t behave, then I’ll personally rip your worthless heart out and mail your genitals to your girlfriend, get my point?
    WHAT? ONE OF ‘EM STUPID KUNG FU WUSSIES? No, I am afraid I can’t help you with that, can’t beat you china-style, but if you’d consider some Japanese, then we’d speak the same language, feel lucky, punk?
    No, no no! I do not say that you should go out and get your a§§ kicked (though it might be the price you’ll have to pay if you are stupid or unlucky…use your head, PLEASE) or kick someone else’s, don’t try to be some fearless maniac…just don’t be a wuss, if you can’t handle the situation (many thugs, armed thugs…unless you are Jet Li or Chow-Yun Fat, you don’t charge armed thugs, but defend yourself and you friends if necessary) then get you’re a§§ outathere, just remember your girlfriend – get HER a§§ outathere too.
    If you want to be better prepared, then go build some muscles, man! – and maybe you should consider martial arts…I’d say that karate is a good place to start for a beginner, but of cause that depends a lot on the school…personally I love jiu-jitsu, a matter of taste, but if you want to learn some quite physical techniques (I don’t mean fists and kicks), then go for it!
    Good exercise anyway ;o)
  • Do something: …with your life.
    Personally, I’ve chosen to study medicine…extremely fascinating, maybe a bit blood here and some suffering and death there, but still great. Once you’ve seen a dead person you’ve seen ‘em all (ok: most) not a story to tell at home.
    What did you do today, darling? Oh, the usual stuff, found a cure for cancer, THE MEANING OF LIFE (Oh! – maybe you too know the meaning of life, a beauty isn’t it?) and saved a few thousands…you know, just saved the world, nothing…big.
    Let me se some ambition!
    If someone came up to me and asked me if one of my classmates was among the three best students in class, then I’d say that he or she maybe was number two or three – because there is only one number one, and that’s me. And I am the best, no doubt about it…have met few people who I’d bother compare myself with, they just don’t have the drive for greatness. Yes, I said greatness, you should give it a try, greatness isn’t a bad feeling, especially when you are GREAT!
  • And last – but certainly not least:
    Like her: That should not be so hard. At least I hope so, because it is vitally important. Personally I’d never approach a girl I didn’t like to “get lucky”…and to “get lucky” doesn’t mean have sex, but to make her have a great time…guess it is a state of mind…

The bottom line of it all is that you just have to be yourself – but who that shall be, that, my friend, is the question…don’t deceive others, change yourself to suit your goals.

I’ve probably forgotten quite a lot, but this is just a post, not a e-book.
Now my fingers are a bit tired, and I think it is time for me to stop.
Hope you can use some of my ramblings,

Luc Byron

PS: Did I remember to say that when I came home (took some time, needed to get something to eat, and was quite comfortable listening to Depeche Mode while walking a bit in the heart of the capital) there was a mail from HER (that sweet being), don’t want to translate it here, but let me just say that she was rather positive about it all. Isn’t life perfect?


Master Don Juan
Dec 18, 2001
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Sounds like you had fun. Just wondering, what is your primary language?