Docs - The Newbie's first step to the rest of their life. [Part I out of II]

Joined
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#1
This is for the newbies, or the sponges that have been wandering around aimlessly. Most people will say to read the bible. I feel that I must be more helpful to the newbie.

Edit - This was posted in the Discussion forum, but noone cares.

Just some ground rules...
- Anything in red...is something I'm telling you to do if you were doing whatever I was talking about!
- Remember anything in green
- "I am speaking your thoughts out to the world. You don't know it yet, but you will be thinking about it."

Alrighty, here we go! :D

------------

So you just found this amazing forum that talks about dating girls and improving life! You can't wait to muster all of your strength to become a sponge and to tell the world and wait an answer on your current troubles....

Admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery.
"I'm new and this is my first post. I.."
1 - Like this girl I know..
2 - I have low self-esteem...
3 - I'm a loser...
4 - I'm shy...
5 - I want to improve..
6 - I've just got my heart broken.

I now command you to stop writing about it!!!! Will some online anonymous person be able to give you the magical rock that will make your problem go away? Nope.

Now, go get a coffee, or some tea, relax and open your mind before we go farther.

------------

THis is your first stop. Re-read it a few times.

The definition of a Don Juan.
Pook: A Don Juan is a state of mind, not a list of methods and tricks.
To expand, this isn't some style of martial arts with pre-determined moves and a sensa to develop it. This is self-help, self-improvement and self-guided.

- You are the only one that can change your life. You think it sucks, change it by reading on.
- You must be happy with yourself before others will be happy with you.
- You must know that you do not need a girl to love you.
- You must know that you do not need to love a girl.
- You must find a way to be positive in everything.
- You must live each day as if it was your last chance.


The concept of a Don Juan is when you are successful in your eyes. Not only with girls, but with all aspects of your life. Even though this thread and this forum in general is directed at girls, you will soon learn that it applies to daily life as well!

-------------

"So now that I have those words in green in the back of my mind, what am I doing wrong?" Alas! You sound so negative now. I want you to think far back, way way back, to the day you had seen her for the first time.

The Relationship Begins Before You Meet Her - Thread Title by Survivor

"So what does that have to do with anything??"

From the minute you first saw her, you knew what you were thinking about her. About how beautiful she is, perfect, caring, passionate. How much you wanted to fall in love with her and to one day awaken next to her years later and feel the same.

"You're right! She is so..." Say no more. You do not fully understand yet. Take all of your current thoughts and tuck them away and read.

From the moment SHE first sees you, before you even talk to her, she's thought about how sexy you are, your social status, your personality and your mood. Within seconds, this girl has already placed you somewhere on a list. Before you open your mouth, she's already developed the response. Before you even knew she was there, she's already figured out if you're worth her time. (I searched endlessly but I could not find the elusive one who posted something like this)

"Gasp! I never knew women had it all figured out!?"
You have a lot to learn. Women want a MAN, someone THEY can not be ashamed to fall for. If you appear to be normal, or weak, you've already made it hard on yourself.

-----------------

Pook:
"Ladies! Do tell me, what do you define as a Man?"

"A Man is someone sensitive to me."
"A Man is the guy who will take care of my needs."
"A Man is the one that is in tune with my feelings."
"A Man is one who doesn't have an ego."
"A Man is the guy who will sit and watch chick flicks all day with me."
"A Man is the guy who will go shopping with me."
"A Man is the guy who will share all his feelings with me."

Such are the common answers! The males listen and actualize what the women say. They are constantly declared 'sweet' and 'wonderful' and 'nice', oh 'so nice'.
I want to ask you something.
"Yes?"
Do you do any of what a women says is a man?
"_______, but you/Pook said that women want a MAN, and I'm doing a bunch of those qualities. What's wrong now.."
I urge you to read more!

Pook:
Poor Nice Guy! The women his own age avoid him like the plague and jump for the jerks. The Nice Guy becomes an emotional tampon to be used and discarded. The Nice Guy, being so nice and sweet, listens to the woman vomit her feelings about men and bleed her problems of her boyfriend on him. He listens with baited hope when he hears, "Oh, why can't guys be like you! You listen and understand." Then she turns around and gets abused by another jerk! The vicious cycle repeats again and again.
Do you feel the same way?

---------------

"I feel angered! Women say that they want a MAN, and I act as a MAN, yet those jerks keep taking my women away!!"

What women thinks, wants, says and does are totally different things.

"Alright..."
Hear me out. I know you are confused. I was once a nice guy too! I was called sweet, nice and someone to depend on. All I got in return was the stories of how OTHERS are and were boyfriends. It goes something like this.

- A women thinks of herself. "How will this affect me", "Is this good or bad", "What should I do"
- A women's wants are not logicial and are near-impossible to understand.
- A women says what is in her best interests.
- A women does what feels best.


To mash it into one! She tells you are a nice guy (S), goes out with that jerk (D) thinking it's totally alright (T) while trying to change him into what she wants. (W) When he dumps her, she crys to you (D), saying how sweet you are (S), how she wished he could be like you (W) and yet thinking of the next jerk she wants to cycle though. (T)

Complicated, yes. Do we understand why she does this...not really. So Don Juans over time have developed a way to win over jerks (think of it as a scent). This scent, it attracts women intially and when she finds out what that scent is and begins to explore it, she finds that all of those 4 things about women mash together and cause her to think the same things, only about you. I lead you to the next points of how to start becoming the perfect scent/man!

The real definition of a man, tried, tested and true. (Pook)
- Does not go through life walking on eggshells. Go for what you want
- Focuses on his dreams. A passion (art, music..), a life-long dream to own the world, etc
- Does not apologize for his testosterone, for his desires. Don't deny that you want to feel fullied
- Tries to always win in what he does. Never give up
- Has deep convictions that allows him to be a possible leader. Take control of your life
- Seeks to solve problems then to place blame. Act instead of complaining
- Sees failure as only a temporary set-back to the inevitable. Life goes on, your day will come
- Knows where he is going in Life. The life-plan and control of it
- Never loses his passion, for that would be the death of his soul. Heart, dedication to YOUR life.
- Never feels he has to prove himself to anyone. If anyone shall hate you, toss you away, make you inferior, then they are of no worth to you


"So I must be a MAN, that is a jerk, so I can have her?!"
No, that is a lesson for the future, where you will learn of niceness, jerkness and everything in between! Now, I want you to go to bed. I want you to lie there and just think. Let the past and the present clash. Let the thoughts about your life flow from your eyes and shape your brain for the future. Allow yourself to open yourself to the things that have been missing all along. Take control of your life and make your plan that will make your dreams come true.

For without the first step forward, the journey cannot begin.
Without the journey, there is no purpose to life.
Without a purpose to life, you cease to live.
- Unknown

---------------

[Onto Part II -> Click Me]
 

Bourne

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 26, 2005
Messages
457
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6
#2
Good for newcomers for this site.

It is a rehash of the bible just made into really quick cliff notes.
 

Nicholas Hill

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2001
Messages
862
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3
Location
Swansea, Wales, UK
#3
This (and part 2) added to DJB, newbies section. To contest the addition, PM me, else it will remain.

Nick
 

Duffty

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 12, 2005
Messages
27
Likes
0
Age
38
#5
Originally posted by Docs
So you just found this amazing forum that talks about dating girls and improving life! You can't wait to muster all of your strength to become a sponge and to tell the world and wait an answer on your current troubles....

Admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery.
"I'm new and this is my first post. I.."
1 - Like this girl I know..
2 - I have low self-esteem...
3 - I'm a loser...
4 - I'm shy...
5 - I want to improve..
6 - I've just got my heart broken.

I now command you to stop writing about it!!!! Will some online anonymous person be able to give you the magical rock that will make your problem go away? Nope.

Now, go get a coffee, or some tea, relax and open your mind before we go farther.


- You are the only one that can change your life. You think it sucks, change it by reading on.
- You must be happy with yourself before others will be happy with you.
- You must know that you do not need a girl to love you.
- You must know that you do not need to love a girl.
- You must find a way to be positive in everything.
- You must live each day as if it was your last chance.


The concept of a Don Juan is when you are successful in your eyes. Not only with girls, but with all aspects of your life. Even though this thread and this forum in general is directed at girls, you will soon learn that it applies to daily life as well!

"So I must be a MAN, that is a jerk, so I can have her?!"
No, that is a lesson for the future, where you will learn of niceness, jerkness and everything in between! Now, I want you to go to bed. I want you to lie there and just think. Let the past and the present clash. Let the thoughts about your life flow from your eyes and shape your brain for the future. Allow yourself to open yourself to the things that have been missing all along. Take control of your life and make your plan that will make your dreams come true.

For without the first step forward, the journey cannot begin.
Without the journey, there is no purpose to life.
Without a purpose to life, you cease to live.
- Unknown

Excellent post for newbies to get motivated. I start reading the forums off and on the last few months, tried the boot camp and failed first week, reading lots of good tips/guides but haven't got the balls to try it. I read other's field report got lots of infos but I end up being a keyboard jockey.

I have a problem and I understand to become a DJ I must start somewhere.
The thing with newbies is that we are excited about becoming a DJ,we want to GET the result instantly but don't have discipline to follow daily routines to complete the Bootcamp, going to the gym or go out sarging.

I feel that I'm not ready to do the bootcamp, that is an excuse but I lack mental power and don't have a clear idea where to begin.

I hope I can hang on and improve myself till I'm ready to do bootcamp.
For without the first step forward, the journey cannot begin.


Thanks for the tips. Docs
 

Don Sunny

New Member
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
1
Likes
0
#7
Newbie

Hey guys,

This is a great site, I have been surfing the web for the past month taking bits of pieces from different sources trying to make it my own. This forum is much better; it has a great [business] model. I look forward to participating!

Sonny
 

GB61

New Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2014
Messages
1
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0
#8
not sure

I am new to this site and don't know how to post a question.....I am 61 years old most people think I could pass for 50. I live in a small town so not a lot of woman to chose from. I recently ran into a woman I have known for many years but have not seen in 20 years. She is divorced about 18 years ago. I am afraid I was not at my best when we spoke as I am just getting over cancer treatments (prostate) proton radiation but I can still fully function as a man. She sensed something was wrong and asked me so I told her about the cancer. She was very empathic and I know she likes me...I asked her out in my 20s but she married someone else. She once told me she would gone out with me if things did not work out with her then boyfriend. Any way I would like to ask her again but I am not sure if me telling her about my health issue blew my chances. I tried to call her but her number listed in the white pages is invalid but I will likely see again at a local eatery (where I ran into her) any thoughts? I am not a bad looking guy for my age and have a good job
 
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