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Do women try to stage the scene before a break up?

ThisNThat

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I recall someone at work that apparently his ex-wife planned a year ahead of time everything (all ducks in the row) before she decided to drop the bomb of "Honey, I want a divorce" on him. He didn't suspect this to happen in the least.

She was getting up a value on his guitar collection, so she could get them in the divorce and she also emptied out his bank account when he got home.

Is there a reason a man is totally caught off guard by the signs things aren't going well in his marriage?

I know of situations where women make up lies about abuse and crap to the police, just so they could get full custody of the kids. I know this one woman that would start trying beat the crap out of the boyfriend, but he just tries to hold her hands to restrain her and SHE wind up hurting herself in the process.

Of course, now she has self-inflicted bruises, takes action, and calls the police...saying the bruises are from him.

It's like they try to stage the crap pre-emptively.
 

dude99

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I recall someone at work that apparently his ex-wife planned a year ahead of time everything (all ducks in the row) before she decided to drop the bomb of "Honey, I want a divorce" on him. He didn't suspect this to happen in the least.

She was getting up a value on his guitar collection, so she could get them in the divorce and she also emptied out his bank account when he got home.

Is there a reason a man is totally caught off guard by the signs things aren't going well in his marriage?

I know of situations where women make up lies about abuse and crap to the police, just so they could get full custody of the kids. I know this one woman that would start trying beat the crap out of the boyfriend, but he just tries to hold her hands to restrain her and SHE wind up hurting herself in the process.

Of course, now she has self-inflicted bruises, takes action, and calls the police...saying the bruises are from him.

It's like they try to stage the crap pre-emptively.
When the level of interest falls below the point of no return women will never stop sinking to brand new lows just to "get theirs."
Selfishness has no moral compass. Selfishness has no boundaries.

Give todays women the husband they deserve. None.
 

LARaiders85

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Yes they do. You're always the last to know. Watch for either an empathetic tone from her family or signs of their withdrawal. From the girl, look for increased argumentativeness, purposeful misunderstanding of jokes, and changes in behavior generally including overtly positive ones.
 

RangerMIke

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Women really don't understand themselves. All she knows is she has lost interest. If she is with a guy that is doing all the things she SAYS she wants... a 'nice' guy that does all the cooking, cleaning, treating her like a princess, and yet she just isn't attracted to him anymore... sub-consciously she pushes him away and looks for reasons why she no longer is interested in fvcking him. She creates drama because she is trying to create a rational reason for her lack of interest.

We make emotional decisions, THEN we try to rationalize our behavior.
 

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phil2015

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In my case I did see it coming but I was dumb enough to overlook the glaring red flags. I assumed everything would work itself out, and one day she took off whilst I was at work.

I've learnt a lot from this experience however
 

resilient

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There are tons of articles out there that she's planning her exit strategy. Confusion and (gradual/rapid) low interest level, increased frequent circular arguments all amount to her exiting the stage. Other signs are that she'll think of reasons to be around your family less or her friends/family may change demeanor around you (you sense some awkwardness). The woman works longer hours (finds a reason to be around you less) or a sudden strange inconsistent schedule, change clothing style (as in puts in sudden more interest in getting dolled up), or ramps up time in the gym/cardio, etc.
 

ThisNThat

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There are tons of articles out there that she's planning her exit strategy. Confusion and (gradual/rapid) low interest level, increased frequent circular arguments all amount to her exiting the stage. Other signs are that she'll think of reasons to be around your family less or her friends/family may change demeanor around you (you sense some awkwardness). The woman works longer hours (finds a reason to be around you less) or a sudden strange inconsistent schedule, change clothing style (as in puts in sudden more interest in getting dolled up), or ramps up time in the gym/cardio, etc.
Yeah, there was this one woman in our Meetup group. IT was a social club, but some of us found it odd she would attend events solo (without her husband)

He worked Friday and Saturday nights as a piano entertainer. So she'd go it alone with he single gal pals. Would be the designated driver for them. She'd even flirt with me, in a harmless fashion. Put her arm around me and say, "Hey! Hadn't seen ya in a while, how have you been?"

Though she knew me pretty well, just found it awkward a married woman would be putting her arm around me like that. Quite forward.

Then one day, she unfriended me on FB..in fact, she unfriended a lot of her old friends from her old circle. She changed her last name back to her maiden name on FB then...I saw her on Plenty of Fish.

I was like 'I Called it!" when I spoke to some of the old friends from the group. Some did suspect something odd about her behavior.

If you see a someone showing up, claiming to be married, but never shows up with the spouse...she's planning her exit strategy.
 

LARaiders85

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1. Flaking
2. non returned texts and calls
3. lame excuses
4. disrespect (its usually too late by this time)
5. changes in her vocal tone and style
6. mentions other guys she finds cute
7. acts confused when you talk (watch for this one)
8. becomes complicated and analytical with you..
9. insults you in joke form (very very bad sign)
10. no eye contact
11. time limits (watch this one.)
12. negative conversations

Funny thing is, if you've been in a long term casual situation you will see these traits ebb and flow as she is busy with new guys and comes back, sometimes within the same day.
 
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