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Do alpha widows ever get over the alpha?


Master Don Juan
Jan 5, 2008
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Colorado Panhandle
Expand on that

I don't know if Rollo invented the term, but I think he made it common. It fits nicely into the whole alpha/beta dichotomy people like to box things into.

If you're dating a woman who isn't over her ex, that's just the situation she's in, plain and simple. All you can do is what's best for you: Leave, wait it out, etc. (Leaving is usually best.)

Chances are you don't know her ex and won't meet him. But if she pines for him he must have been special, right. So we like to think only an "alpha" could have that kind of a hold on a woman after a breakup. I've seen this and it's not true. Women can have oneitis for mediocre men, too.

And the fact is that most people get over these things, no matter how special we think we are. People move on and change and everyone's replaceable. If it's been years and she's still pining, that says more about her mental instability than who some AMOG is.

But it's easy to explain it away that she was dating John freaking Wayne. And I think a lot of men here might fancy themselves as John Wayne, too. It's cool to think we might have been the only ones who could scratch her itch. But she can always meet someone else, and what's more, she will.

The idea that a woman will go her whole life never getting over some dude is just the redpill inverse image of the Disney fantasy that they'll meet again in old age, or the Titanic chick whose first love was Leo.

It's an easy way to explain away either 1) how fukked up she is regardless (permanently or in that moment) or 2) how bad your frame is. Rather than deal with that reality people invent fairy tale characters...AMOG, Alpha Widower, Chad, and the whatever-cel.

If the shoe were on the other foot, no girl would think "wow, his ex must have really been beautiful, feminine and kind. It makes sense that she ruined all other women for him." She'd think, "God, this guy is a pathetic head case and I can do better."

The bottom line is, as @Mauser96 said, it's not worth a moment's thought. If you're with a girl like this, you should be thinking about how you'll deal with it...most likely with a next. Anything else, such as pondering whether her ex was Rico Suave, is just mental masturbation. It doesn't matter, and it's not your problem.


Senior Don Juan
Jun 23, 2019
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A 45 men that can pass for late 30s can be successful in dating a 30 yrs old one, the problem is if they want kids..in such case the guy really needs to be top energy and have his sh1t togheter.

Actually mid 40s in the only age group that could consider dating a post wall woman without losing anything.
I have a number of friends that are mid 40 with 30ish (pre wall) and its ok. the girls like the guys or at least mostly behave and at 45 most of the 20 to 35ers don't challenge them.. much... the ones that go younger end up in **** most of the time. the guys can GET almost any they ask. the ones that go the same age or older end up usually with really dedicated women. I also know a few that are around 65 with 30ish. Everyone of them has issues, some with young kids.. looking at it through red tint glasses; it all makes more sense.


Master Don Juan
May 31, 2019
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If you accept the notion that women are designed to only truly bond with one man in their lives. Probably by a man that made a lasting impression on her, aka the 'alpha', then you'll have a damn hard time when you get compared to this guy in everything you do and will do better by leaving her alone as @Desdinova is saying.

Can women only truly bond with one man in their lives? I don't know, but i do know that they're not built to be promiscuous and their ability to bond directly inversely correlates with the amount of sexual partners, which makes a case for the validity of this statement.

This means if she met an 'alpha' in her 20s while still being under 10 (generous number taken from statistics) on her notch count - she will have this guy as the standard until she dies.

Then the answer would be no.