DJ Boot Camp - Week #4

Master of the Universe

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DJs, we've worked on initiating and maintaining eye contact, greeting strangers, and starting up conversations with chicks... now it's time to put all our skills to use, and get us some phone number!

Purpose of this lesson: For this fourth week in the DJ Boot Camp, our goal is to overcome any fear of rejection, and build calluses against rejection. As such we are going into the field, and start collecting rejections from girls. By getting rejected, we will see that it's not the end of the world, and that in fact, it will make it easier to approach girls. Plus, we'll be getting phone numbers in the process!


Reading Material

On rejection by Paradox http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000686.html

Rejection is a natural part of becoming a DJ... but imagine if a basketball player called it quits, or whined and complained because he failed to make a basket... he'd be worthless. Rejection and failure are part of the game, accept them as stepping stones for becoming greater, instead of shackles that will forever keep you down.

Self Confidence by chicago#1 http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001294.html

How often do we do things that are more scary than asking a girl for her phone number, things which should put the fear of God in us, but just don't phase us at all. However, when we approach that cute girl and go for the number, we're ready to pee in our pants. Well, it's about time we see things in perspective!

It hasn't been that bad by BigBill http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000706.html

Take a look at how this guy started from nothing, to slowly building himself up, to the point where he got six phone numbers in one class setting! (make sure you read through this guy's second posting on the thread)

How to Handle Rejection From Women by terminator911 http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000519.html

Rejection is part of everyday life. In fact, everyone gets rejected several times a day, but we rarely notice it, unless we read too much into it. Here are some methods to look at rejection that will help you put things into perspective.

How to get the # and split by Pimpologist http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000614.html

Here's a quick, simple, and effective phone number close!

How to "Close the Sale" 95% of the time and get that date! by Master of the Universe http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001200.html

Here's the step-by-step procedure for getting a girl's phone number. Basically always assume that the girl will go out with you, and from there, follow the simple procedure and watch your rejection rate drop dramatically!

Exercises

All right guys, now the fun really begins!!!

We've worked on approaching girls, and initiating a conversation with them. Now it's time to put our skills to the test, and start reaping the rewards of our labors.

For this week's lesson, your mission is to go out, approach girls, and close for their phone number. However, instead of our focus being getting a certain number of phone numbers, our goal is to actually get a certain number of rejections. The reason is pretty simple... at this point, we are working on killing off our fear in asking a girl for her number.

So, for this week, we are to go out, approach girls, and go for a phone number close. We are to do this until we have been rejected a total of ten times. Believe me, the first one or two rejections might be a bit tough, but after that, it'll get easier and easier... not to mention more and more fun.

A couple of notes about this exercise...

1) Be in a playful mood when asking for her number. Don't be shy, don't be nervous. I know this sounds easier said than done, and yes, the first couple of times you probably will be shy and nervous. Heck, you'll probably be shivering, sweating, and shivering. Don't let that get to you, after a couple of number closes, you'll feel 1,000% more confident!

2) Try different closes. Experiment with different ways to get the phone numbers. You may want to try to ask her for her phone number on the pretext that the two of you can do whatever you were discussing, you can simply tell her "I have to get going, but give me your phone number, and I'll call you later," etc. The reading material above gets into detail on how to ask for the phone number... have fun with it!

3) Practice overcoming objections. Think about it, attractive women get approached all the time. In order for them to have a life at all, they develop automatic objections that they deliver to guys who ask them out. Don't let those objections get to you. In fact, as long as a girl isn't rude or even worse, apathetic, I'll try to overcome at least a few levels of objections in order to get her to give me her number.

For example, if she tells me "I have a boyfriend," I'll tell her "That's great, but I'm asking for your number, not his" or "Wow, that's wonderful.... when's the wedding?" She'll usually laugh and say that they're not planning on getting married yet. To which I reply, "Well, then it can't be THAT serious. Give me your phone number, and we'll have fun."

The point is, whatever objection she throws at you, see if you can overcome it. Believe me, it's a fantastic high when you get a girl throwing objections at you, and you slip and slide through each one! For me, at least, as long as she's smiling and enjoying the conversation, I love overcoming objections. Some girls do this to test guys, and see how you handle the situation... so come out of it on top!

4) Don't wait until the last day or two to go for your ten rejections... there's just not enough time. Instead, you might want to pace yourself, and make it a goal to go for two rejections per day until you reach your goal of ten.

Well DJs, let's go out an get rejected!!!

At the end of, or throughout, the week, keep us posted on how many phone numbers you've acquired in the process of collecting your ten rejections. Also, let's share some good laughs with each other, and tell us about the worst rejection you get. Trust me, there's no better way to get over a rejection than by laughing about it with others who can empathize with your experience.

All right DJs, let's rock!!!

Master of the Universe

[This message has been edited by Master of the Universe (edited 05-13-2002).]
 

StuartScott

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Great assignment, unfortunately I'll be in the house for at least another week (knee surgery) so I'll have to bypass this assignment for at least a week but I have gotten numbers over the past week and 1 rejection like 2 weeks ago (my last rejection). I don't know if you can call it a rejection but here it is.

At store

Me: Whats your name

Her: Toy

Me: Are you in school (no) What high school did you go to

Her: School A

Me: Really, ain't that like on the north side of town (yeah), what brought you down here

Her: Well we moved down here bla, bla, bla

Me: Yeah? cuz I stay bla bla bla

Me: (3 second pause to see if she adds anything) So you got a boyfriend

Her: Yeah

Me: Oh yeah? What school does he go.

Her: Bla bla bla

Me: Well take care.

Her: Bye

That was basically a cold approach and I was with my friend and we walked in to the store and I saw her from the side, she didn't see me and I told my friend that I was gonna go talk to her. I didn't try any of that "boyfriend destroyer stuff" cuz I wasn't in that mood (I was wearing basketball shorts and a short and just came from playing ball), but I guess you could count it as a rejection.

[This message has been edited by StuartScott (edited 05-13-2002).]
 

Freeheart

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Master of the Universe, I am so very impressed with your Boot Camp! You've put a lot of work into this -- collecting threads that are on point, adding a whole bunch of encouragement, sending your positive energy thru the net like a personal zinger for every person who reads these.

Excellent work -- some of the best stuff I've seen for newbies, and great reminders for the rest of us.

THUMBS UP!
 

NormalGuy

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Time to rock it, got started early on this assignment, somehow i skipped weeks 1 and 2 but whatever
.

Keep in mind this is the first time, I've ever even attempted to talk or interact with women. Just two weeks ago, I would have run away screaming if someone told me to go up to a girl and talk with her, I was that shy. I dunno what happened but something just changed, and all of sudden I found myself not caring wtf people thought of me.

So far I'm already into 4 rejections.

Quick rundown.

Good news first


Got one date for this Wenesday with a girl, I was flirting with in the mall where I work. (first ever, and I'm in my early 20's, doh)

1st rejection: Total newbie mistake of making a cold approach (without smiling nor eye contact), the whole convo kinda petered out, and I had to bail.

2nd rejection: It was at a club, had a hard drink first to loosen me up, and made some eye contact b4 going in, managed to get a convo going, but when I asked her to dance, she told me she only dances to hip hop. I had to next her for various reasons.

3rd rejection: Cute girl working in a store, whom I was walking by, during my breaktime in the mall. I initiated the eye contact, she didn't even flinch, so I smiled at her at which point she smiled back. Went on my way, but then decided wtf, and came back to talk to her. Chatted her up a bit, and we had some good rapport, went for the close, but she couldn't give me her number because she had a boyfriend. Here's the juicy part.


me: So, how bout you give me your number and we can get together sometime.

her: Oh sorry, I can't (pouting a bit), I got a boyfriend

me: I don't care about your boyfriend.

her: she flushes a bit and just says sorry again

I'm forced to bail.

4th rejection: Went into a cellphone store with the real premise of getting info on cellphones, this chick comes up and starts selling me on the phones. I smile a lot and give her eye contact like crazy, eventually I get her to laugh a bit, but somewhere during the convo she mentions she has a boyfriend. After the last rejection, I wasn't quite ready to go blowing past that last zinger, so I bail again.

Well 6 more to go, wish me luck
 

Master of the Universe

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StuartScott,

Hope you feel better dude!

Freeheart,

Thanks for the kind words... but I would be a liar if I didn't mention the fact that I'm getting as much benefit from this boot camp as the other participants! Again, thank you!!

NormalGuy,

You're doing great! I especially liked the situation with chick #3! Just a pointer though, it's not a rejection until she's said no, such as in chick #3.

And congratulations on your first date tomorrow! Have a blast!!!

Okay DJs, this is the week that separates the men from the boys, so let's get those damn rejections!!!

Master of the Universe

------------------
"Life's a joke... take it too seriously, and the joke's on you"
 

mistyc

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Just a bump, as I collect my Jedi powers before venturing out in the real world!
 

Thrillseeker

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Hmmm. There aren't many people posting. I know I didn't post for the last two weeks since nothing really spectacular happened or all the stuff might have been redundant with all the other posts and what not.

After three weeks of straight raining/cold weather, the sun finally comes out. This will make everything much more fun instead of getting soaked while going out to DJ.

Expect post of results late Saturday night/sunday afternoon.



------------------
“There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man’s whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue.”
-Hagakure, Yamamoto Tsenetomo
 

ESPN

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This boot camp is similar to a war camp.

It started with many people happy to make part of it, many "i'm in" but as it started many get shot by the bullets of rejection or get afraid of being rejected without even trying.
Reason?

The fear, fear of what?
Feeling like a fool, fear of what the other gonna think.
But if we think there is no reason to feel this fear, because you fear it and then 5 minutes after you life continues the same, nothing gonna change, only your success rate.

"How the hell l handle this fear ESPN?"

By not thinking yourself as crap, by not thinking yourself as inferior, by focusing in your improvement and your self-respect.

"How l do it?How l do it?How l can feel like l am valueable, how l can feel great about my self?"

You have to work in your self-esteem, not the self-esteem that your face provide(or don't provide) but the self-esteem the you deserve as a human being.
You deserve to feel that you are capable of doing things you like to do.
You deserve to feel proud of your owns acomplishments.
You deserve to feel GREAT about yourself
I recommend to everybody here the book 'The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem' by Nathaniel Branden, if you can't handle rejection and start thinking 'one day, l gonna handle rejection, one day l gonna be a dj, one day...', then you really need to read this book.
There is no 'one day', you deserve those things NOW and the only person who can provide that it's YOU

[This message has been edited by ESPN (edited 05-15-2002).]
 

Emoney

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Ok guys.....i have been trying to work on the DJ boot camp along with trying to get a job and finishing school and dealing with family problems.....but im still having a problem right now.

I told myself go to the mall and look for women so i can get 10 rejections. I went to the mall, didn't approach one girl. There were only a few, most of them were in high school, but the fact of the matter is that i still don't have the nerve to go up and talk to women. I don't think its my fear of rejection, because the point was to get 10 rejections. Like my mind is saying go get it, but my body isn't doing it. MotU, is there any additional articles i should look at to overcome this, or does anyone have any ideas of what i can do to overcome this? This is the one problem i have always had with women, the initial approach. Im trying not to whine or complain, im working hard on to be more of a man, i stand up for myself more and don't worry to much about what i say to people that i already know, but i want to overcome this part. thank you guys

Eric
 

mistyc

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Emoney,

I'm kinda in the same pit as you. I think MotU gave me the best advice, which was "just do it".

Lemme tell you a little story, hopefully it'll help you (and me):

At the end of my AFC days, there was this waitress who caught my attention. It took me 3 failures at even attempting to talk to her again after that first time, and on the 4th try I finally did (thankfully, before I was indentified by the restaurant owners as a stalker or something
)

But how did I do it?

I had given up on ever being able to talk to her... So as I was leaving the restaurant, I noticed there were too many people near the entryway, and I turned around to try to find another way towards there. And who got in my way? Yeah, the waitress. And since I was just in front of her, I just said "hi", and we had a nice conversation. I won't talk about the weeks after that, it's full of so much AFCism
But that instant when I actually said hi, and when she recognized me and we had a conversation... That was worth it. That was worth the risk.

The moral? Just do it!!!!! That's the hardest part of all, believe me I know


Oh another moral: it happened when I had given up on her - when approaching her was no longer my priority, but leaving was.

Just like those other events during the boot camp, when I hypnotized (or whatever) girls just by looking in their eyes. That happened not when I was out to do that, but when I was jobhunting, or going about my business...

[This message has been edited by mistyc (edited 05-15-2002).]
 

Komodo

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I've been doing this approaching thing for a while.I find it easier to approach girls for their numbers that I just met oppose to yhe ones I've had a crush on for a while.M.o.t.u
is this a natural thing?.Also do you think those Anthony Berger techniques really work?
I'm talking about the boob touch and tthe leg
touch.I plan to use them this weekend.By the way I just would like to say Miami has soe of the most beautiful woman in the world.Those of you who haven't been here should visit.
 

mistyc

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Originally posted by Komodo:
I've been doing this approaching thing for a while.I find it easier to approach girls for their numbers that I just met oppose to yhe ones I've had a crush on for a while
If you've had a crush on them for a while, you've probably had them on a pedestal, and/or you care more about your success than the other ones. So of course it's harder...
 

Ronin

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Well...so far ive approached 2 girls. I've got both their #'s. Which is good but bad for this weeks assignment. i don't think i'll be able to finish this week's assignment because right now with working out, working 5-ish days a week and school I don't have time to go hunting for girls. I can only chat up the ones that I run into. So I have been trying when i have had free time. Just thought i'd report in. NOT ONE REJECTION YET! (which is good cause i got #'s....but bad because i'm not passing through the boot camp). :S Overall this is helping my confidence a lot.


Sean
 

mistyc

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yeah, this is really helpikng my confidence too
(just not my just-do-itness, for now).

Got proof when I visited an old HS prof today.. Just when I was leaving he asked me if I was dating someone. I asked "one?" he replied like "well, there's something different about you.." so I said "well, increase that number a little" with a smirk and then I left
 

ESPN

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Originally posted by Emoney:
Ok guys.....i have been trying to work on the DJ boot camp along with trying to get a job and finishing school and dealing with family problems.....but im still having a problem right now.

I told myself go to the mall and look for women so i can get 10 rejections. I went to the mall, didn't approach one girl. There were only a few, most of them were in high school, but the fact of the matter is that i still don't have the nerve to go up and talk to women. I don't think its my fear of rejection, because the point was to get 10 rejections. Like my mind is saying go get it, but my body isn't doing it. MotU, is there any additional articles i should look at to overcome this, or does anyone have any ideas of what i can do to overcome this? This is the one problem i have always had with women, the initial approach. Im trying not to whine or complain, im working hard on to be more of a man, i stand up for myself more and don't worry to much about what i say to people that i already know, but i want to overcome this part. thank you guys

Eric
Maybe isn't fear of rejection, but fear of acting weird or saying something stupid(or saying nothing
), the only advice you need is to read the book and work in yourself.
 

aznbreakerjrey

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Well with all the progress I've been making for the past few weeks, I've stalled today. I went to the library, saw a really cute girl, felt like approaching, but didn't. I froze for the first time in a while. I dunno what happened. Thankfully I was able to get over that soon enough and talk to another girl I saw outside. However, she didn't make too much eye contact during the conversation, and though it was pleasant enough, I didn't think we had anything going so I decided not to go for the number. Well tomorrow is another day, so hopefully I can get a couple of rejections in.
 

DJ Red

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I'm havin a rough time getting these rejections myself. I still freeze up sometimes, but if I get started, it's golden. Only one rejection so far, and I had to force that one by walking away.

Quick story. I just got back from a job fair sort of thing, and whilst I was waiting in line to get a chance to talk to a company and try to sell myself (I was all nervous about talking to the corporate types there, but calm and cool in appearance). So there I was, lookin like a million bucks in my suit, and I was a little stunned when an 8 approached me. We talked a little while, and I found out that she was just there for the free food/drink. I asked for the number just before it was my turn at the firing squad, and bang. Business card with home phone and everything. Got me feelin all confident and such so when I talked to the interviewers, I gave the best performance I ever have.

On a side note, I'm gonna hafta see if she'll some with me skydiving this summer. She's a vet, I'm not.

I'm glad I muscled through Boot Camp. It's helpin everywhere.

Much appreciation to MoTU.

------------------
Red - DJ in the making.

Life is like dancing. Some like to swing, tango, or waltz. Some like to sit idle on the sidelines and watch.
Don't be that guy. Get your butt on the dancefloor.

[This message has been edited by DJ Red (edited 05-15-2002).]
 

Vegas Playa

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Vegas, Baby!
I’m still fighting the good fight, bros!

I’m lagging behind a little bit, but I’m still in the fray. Unfortunately, I let at least three good opportunities to approach HBs for the digits slip through my fingers today. I have to consciously remind myself that the assignment IS to get rejected, not to actually get the beayitch’s numbers themselves.

My lack of success thus far in overcoming my internal resistances (and let's keep it real---aren't most if not all of the obstacles internal?) was starting to get me depressed ‘n shyt. But that quickly vanished as I began to notice a number of awesome after-effects of the work that I’ve done in the boot camp over the past few weeks.

For example:

Saying hi to strangers, smiling, and making eye contact---something that I found challenging at first, is no sweat whatsoever anymore. In fact, I now find myself doing it automatically, without even thinking about it. And I'm geting a lot more people smiling and saying hi in return.

I’m also finding that approaching strangers in general and striking up convos is fast becoming second nature as well.

And starting up convos with women I would consider dating---something I found difficult last week---all of the sudden doesn’t seem like such a big deal anymore now that the antes been upped again this week. Thus far I’ve already had as many 2+ minute convos with attractive women than I had all of last week.

As such, all of that bodes well for me finding a way to get through this week’s assignment one way or another---especially with y’all egging me on. And if I don’t finish it this week, maybe it will cease to be a big deal once next week’s assignment begins.

In closing, my fellow aspirants, when facing you fears, remind yourself that fear is really an acronym. It stands for:

F alse

E vidence

A ppearing

R eal


[This message has been edited by Vegas Playa (edited 05-16-2002).]
 
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