Devastating Opening Lines

[D97]

A few weeks ago I went out to chat up as many women as possible to get over my fear of approaches.

I asked for the time, asked for help in shops, tried being friendly, being serious, asked for their names and, well didn't get anywhere.

I got some interest, a few smiles, but nothing that would qualify as success.

Then, I tried one line. A setpiece. It was the most natural sounding opener I could remember:

"Hi, I just noticed you when I walked in, and had to take a second to see what you were like."

Word for word, it's from David DeAngelo's ebook.

It worked.

I had a feeling it would, as many readers write in to David's newsletters and report that this line, or some other variation has been the best opener they've ever used.

After using the above line, I got a shocked, delighted and flattered women who loved getting to know me.

The point of an opener is for it to be confident, sincere and above all nothing like a chat up line. 99% of the male population either use them, or the age old - know zero about girls so will do what everyone else does - "Can I buy you a drink?".

Now that's weak (spending money for her approval, think you must buy her something, as if you alone are not enough).

Anyway, we've been there, some are still there. First impressions is one of the most important times in a relationship - basically, we must do it right.

Hot, cold, whatever. After the universal "Hi", what is your killer line for approaches?

Post!

 

[zentraveller]

That's an EXCELLLENT ONE. I was trying to think of a few that I could throw out when a woman is walking in the opposite direction (say in a mall) and you have no real opportunity to hover around and make a random comment to initiate the convo.

That one is one of the best I've heard.

Can anyone recommend a line to be used in a college town when you are NOT a student there but it is basically your home town? I always have some amount of difficulty with this one. Just anything fairly innocuous to begin the convo with would be fine.

 

[Dirtheart]

The point of an opener is for it to be confident, sincere and above all nothing like a chat up line.

Spot on! Even better, I've found approaches are most successful if they're nothing like pick ups.

If you go charging towards a woman and start hitting on her, it's understandable that she's going to be very cautious and even repelled, because:

A. A guy who approaches strange women out of the blue must be desperate and short of social circles. Therefore, there is something wrong with him.

B. We live in cruel times, so it is common sense for women to be cautious about strangers, especially those who just approach them out of the blue.

Most women I've asked tell me that this outright creeps them out. Yet if they were to "meet" rather than "be approached by" a stranger, it's fine and they may even accept it as fate. It should always be natural and the attraction and number close is best made to look like a secondary thought.

 

[jakethasnake]

Yeah, totally natural and seamless opening line. Well done!

 

[Paintballguy]

I'll have to try that one out.

 

[VictorK]

I think if you tried this line out in a club and the music is blazing, it would lose its effect. You need her undivided attention with little distraction for her to appreciate your ballz!

 

[jakethasnake]

Bump.

Eternal, this should be in Tips.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

"Have I seen you before?" works...Some girls used it on me before and it sparked up a nice little convo...

 

[Player_Supreme]

"Hi, I just noticed you when I walked in, and had to take a second to see what you were like."

I'm not one for lines but this one is how do you guys say it:

MONEY

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
Bump.

Eternal, this should be in Tips.

 

[DrBeard]

OR...

How about mixing it up a bit and say "Hi, I walked in for a second so you can see what I am like".

That's a classic!!

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
Spot on! Even better, I've found approaches are most successful if they're nothing like pick ups.

If you go charging towards a woman and start hitting on her, it's understandable that she's going to be very cautious and even repelled, because:

A. A guy who approaches strange women out of the blue must be desperate and short of social circles. Therefore, there is something wrong with him.

B. We live in cruel times, so it is common sense for women to be cautious about strangers, especially those who just approach them out of the blue.

Most women I've asked tell me that this outright creeps them out. Yet if they were to "meet" rather than "be approached by" a stranger, it's fine and they may even accept it as fate. It should always be natural and the attraction and number close is best made to look like a secondary thought.

So can someone expand on the difference between "approaching" and "meeting" a girl? Is it just in what you say.....ie, "Hi, I just saw you come in and thought I'd like to get to know you" vs "Can I buy you a drink"....or what?

 

[HypeR]

Originally posted by Scrumtulescence
So can someone expand on the difference between "approaching" and "meeting" a girl? Is it just in what you say.....ie, "Hi, I just saw you come in and thought I'd like to get to know you" vs "Can I buy you a drink"....or what?

You approach strangers on the street/mall/whatever, you meet people through friends, in your class, work etc.

 

[D97]

I emailed DavidD asking for some more lines, or variations on that one above.

He hasn't replied yet, or posted the question in any of his recent newsletters.

Can any of you guys come up with some that haven't been posted?

 

[Surfboard]

Good job D97!!

I remember reading that tip before, but you somehow got me to thinking about it more than the original poster did. That's probably due to the fact that you actually went out on the battlefield and tested it out and posted your results.

Anyway, I put this tip through the "Surfboard Analyzing Machine" and here's what I came up with.

Hi, I just noticed you when I walked in,

{stop}

I think a better opener would be:

Hi, I just noticed how pretty/cute/attractive you are when I walked in,

This is better for all the dimwitted women that wouldn't be smart enough to realize what you're really telling them.

OK, now the woman starts running this through her head.

Her thoughts: Wow!! This guy thinks I'm really pretty. What an ego boost. He makes me feel great!!

Her thoughts after her defenses kick in: This guy's no challenge. He's just attracted to my body and just wants to have sex with me. He's such a desperate loser. {stop}

OK, so you guys now see that the first part of this is bad being said alone. But we're not done with the sentence.

and had to take a second to see what you were like.

Now this is the part of the sentence that makes this tip GOLD.

Her thoughts: Wait!! This guy wants to have sex with me, but he also wants to see what kind of person I am. Maybe if he likes me for the person that I am, then he might want to have a long-term relationship with me. Hmmm...I just know what to think of this guy right now. I better do some more investigating. {end}

CONCLUSION

That's what a woman thinks when you use this opener. If she's just a little bit attracted to your looks, she'll want to clear up all the confusion in her head by finding out what it is you're after.

If she doesn't find you attacted at all, then she'll probably just give you some kind of cold response. Your gut instinct will let you know.

Guys this is a great opener. Right off the bat, you're not putting yourself in the possible friend zone. You're showing her that you're a man that wants a woman, but will not settle for any bimbo out there. Your woman must meet your standards or else hit the road.

There's nothing like being in total control of the situation with an opening line like this.

 

[Ricky]

Not too shabby

Thank you David D

 

[Dirtheart]

The difference between "approaching" and "meeting" in a woman's mind is that being approached is very contrived and deliberate and the intention (sex) is obvious from the outset. It offers no challenge, no mystery and smacks of desperation. Many women feel like they're being put on the spot and will give a number just to escape the awkwardness of the moment or because they need more time to think it over. But often the number is fake or they flake out and you never get a date.

Meeting someone, conversely, seems like an accident or an act of fate or like "being in the right place at the right time". There are no predetermined intentions, the interaction is natural, comfortable and gives her time to get to know you and judge your potential without being put on the spot or feeling pushed.

But "meetings" can be arranged. Just place yourself in the vicinity of the woman you want to talk to. Find something around you to comment on (even if it's as trivial as the weather) and progress from there.

 

[Sexual]

I like it, especially because you don't have to take time to think about a way to work yourself into a conversation with a hb. You can just apply it to the three second rule to make the approach easier.

 

[D97]

Nice replies.

Anymore DJs want to have a go with the line?

 

[napoleon]

Would this be good?
DJ: I have a new hobby and it's meeting new and fun people!I might aswell start with you! Are you fun?
HB: Of course
DJ: well I have to decide if youre fun to be around so we'll see