From a girl I'm sleeping with who I tried to get to come over tonight after she slept over last night....
Some part of me wants to be with you, but some part of me thinks it's not a good idea?! I don't think you understand...because we are different...you like to go to bars abd night clubs and I don't have any interest in that at all....maybe at the beginning you will continue to like to hang out with me, but after that, you will feel bored...I actually like that the message you wrote to the other girl about me, because it shows you really like and care about me or something like that ...anyway s have a good day at work....
Now this girl keeps saying she's scared to get serious ly involved with me because she always sees other girls message ing me when we are together and I'm not safe enough fir her abd basically she wants a more boring but safe guy abd one who isn't that handsome as she's looking for potential marriage material....
So in an effort to gain her trust last night I showed her all of my messages to other girls some showing I was sleeping with them in the beginning stages of seeing her which was a month abd a half ago....she got a bit jealous acting abd said it was obvious I had deleted some messages which I did....
But after that she was all over me....banged two times late at night abd this morning before she left to go to work....
The she sets the trap by saying what are u doing tonight at which I fail miserably and tell her to meet me again tonight at which she says she needs to go to her home... I then text her and get that response....
I have broken all the rules with this girl and showed my cards abd she still says the reason is I'm a playboy abd too difficult to trust.... I'm not sure which reason is truth abd which is fiction.... I'm thinking half half....
This is the first girl I have invested anything in in a long time...made many AFC like mistakes now posed a challenge.... so I have to think that's the real reason not this other player stuff accusations...
I'd let go of the pressure you built up inside you. Set her free in your mind. Let be what will be. She saw your cards, you didn't hide anything, now it's time for her to make up her mind. You can tell her something in the lines of "look, I really like you and I like being with you, but you shouldn't preoccupy yourself with how you'll make me feel in the future. If you want us to go on, great, if not, that's fine too, so let me know."
Went AFC damnit for the first tine in ages....message d that part of ny life is changing I can only prove it to you by my actions not words though
Then : and I'm certain I won't get bored of you there was a scene from that movie we watched (ps I live u) that reminded me of u
Her: which scene? Which movie?
Me too much detail to type right now abd not appropriate through text....it fit a situation when I was talking to u perfectly one day...anyways I'm late fir work!
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She ended up staying the night again but has been a bit more cold acting.... deleting those other girls off my social apps in front of her in an effort to gain her trust would be a bad idea I suppose??? Another girl sent me a message in front of her last night....my phone always buzzes and the social app line will pop up...
Keep it that way. Tell her that it would be rude for you if you just delete them. And also, you can take it to the next level and say that you're keeping them around in case things don't go good with her.
I agree with Hudpes. You've done your part. If she wants anything serious with you (which sounds like what you want as well), she has to take a risk. You've gotta remember that she doesn't want a "boring, safe guy". She wants a outgoing, fun, interesting guy (you), but she also wants to be sure she has you 100%. Which is something she should never be completely sure of.
At this point, you've made your mistakes and there's no going back now. So, now, you throw the ball in her court. Tell her something like, "call me when you're ready to trust me, and you've let go of this irrational fear of me cheating", and walk away. Go ghost and watch her come running back.
Well, she is currently asleep in my bed because I naturally wake up earlier than her....so my plan is to not say anything when she leaves, just the usual bye have a good day crap...abd then go ghost and see if she comes to me....I have to establish more time for her to wonder about me....I always try to arrange another meet up with her the same day she leaves which probably has been hurting me a lot....I've never felt this clingy since highscool.....not sure what the he'll is going on with me lately...
I wanted to delete those girls to gain trust because she always says I'm like her ex who was crazy about her in the beginning but ended up cheating on her several times and dumping her ....so I have been justifiying ny beta behavior by trying to compensate for the player persona she sees in me that reminds her of her ex...but it does seem like I'm playing into her frame way to much....she's a Taiwanese girl and a bit difficult to figure out...a lot of them actively seek more beta men for marriage and such.....
But I'm not completely AFC acting with her...example...every night I take her to the local 7-11 for dinner...we never go out she always pays her way....she always says I'm such a ****...
I like to tease her a lot and give her backhanded compliments such as you are so ****ing hot, if you just had s nicer pair of breasts you would look almost perfect...
Or when I'm searching for a movie for us to watch....like last night said dint worry thus one is still fun for me, but yet more closer down to your level to which she will hit me and stuff....
Or if she eats a big meal I'll pay her stomach and say are there twins in there or is just a big one...of course her stomach is actually very toned but like all very hot women she is very insecure about her body abd I try to take full advantage...
Will also grab the flesh on her thighs abd say better be lucky I like my women a little on the meaty side....but dint get too carried away at dinner time....but actually her legs are perfect... but they have a complex about needing to be super skinny over here...
So in certain ways I am a very loveable ******* to her but in other ways I'm clingy and non mysterious...
Just happened to see a message from her ex that said did you suck someone s **** last night? Her phone occasionally flashes up messages hard not to see....thus is the second sexual message from her ex that I've seen.....
Like a chump, I called her out on it and she said they just talk back abd forth because he was Ab important part of her life....also said their sex life was near perfect.....
That's it for me....no way I could ever respect myself talking to thus chick again. Basically I've been sleeping with someone who's not over their ex...I saw the red flags in the beginning.... Last time I ever give two craps about any girl... I'm best as a player not a serious type guy...fortunately, I have other options right now....but sucks I have to work early morning tomorrow... would like to go out and get over thus bs that I foolishly emotional ly invested in....
Why would you tell your partner about your ex's performance in bed? That's a red flag the size of the Milky Way, and I'm not talking about the chocolate bar. It is disrespectful and callous, she doesn't love you man.
I didn't read everything here, but jealous and insecure types act like this. Is that the type of girl you want? Sounds like a bunch of drama. All the things you have told her in attempt to be open and make her feel secure will come back to bite you as she uses them against you. She most likely is guilty of the type of behavior she is accusing you of(being a playboy). Thats just how women work.
Yea you lost your cool. Just relax my man.. You're waffling back and forth between these extremes of how much you like her and "im just meant to be a player and not give a shît about a girl". That is nearly total outcome dependence.
Plenty of good girls out there, dont let one bad experience get you down like that.
My first immediate reaction is why are you seeing her two nights in a row? You should be letting her think about you and setting the next hookup a few nights in the future when she gets in touch.
that email from the EX BF... while i honeslty would not give a **** about it, i would milk that email for the next 2 months lol. "how the hell am i supposed to trust you and settle down with you and you are still hanging out with your ex. when you get serious I'll get serious but until then it's whatever" and would not give zero ****s about her knowing i'm sleeping with other girls, she is at least toying with the idea of ****ing her ex by talking to him.
she likes you. i'm not worried about hta.t i'm not even worried about you losing her like most guys here are, she is into you. but if you are seriously interested in dating her you need to break her ass down lol. she still thinks she's running the show.
Put away your credit card.
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Thanks backbreaker....yeah, I just always fail her sh$t tests because I lknow my ocd will kick in....I went to a club last night met a hb7 and took her home made her suck me off and tried to bang her...couldn't even stay hard though because of this chick ......now I got the one I like to meet me tonight..... she still insist s she's scared I'll leave her abd all these other reason s...but I know it's really because I fail **** test after **** test....I even told her that abd she said she's not like that and insists it's because she knows I'll leave her eventually to go home or just do something bad like her ex did....holy crap I've never been thus caught up in a girl....never even thought it could happen......I can't even bang other women without going limp..wtf...
I had the same shiite before. She's BPD, she continnually demand stuff from you and when you deliver she will change the goalposts. There's no winning the situation. Just gotta let her go. One day she will get old and wrinkly and left with noone except safe and boring beta orbiters who will be in constant pain. By that time you wont even care.
Remember Fate has in store for her far worse than you can imagine.
YES IT WOULD BE. You are in so deep man you cant see the mistakes anymore. Stop kissing this girls ass. Who is she anyway? A nobody! YOU ARE THE PRIZE. Its not your job to mitigate risk just because shes afraid to take a leap.
also lol at the ex texting and "how great the sex was". serious double standards and changes in goal posts but its cute that she is trying to make you jealous. It means she cares in a ****ed up way. The sex comment was just her trying to match up to your playerdom and project her own insecurities about the situation into you. For the most part shes just sh!t testing you because of the recent **** ups. I agree with others your need to take some steps back from this ASAP. In another post your talking about taking girls back from the bar like a pro so it shouldnt be that hard to gain some real perspective on whatever insecurity shes dug up and trying to manipulate.
In the Art of Seduction the author wrote "Beware the After Effects". After seduction, feelings turn toward lassitude and distrust. You must start the seduction all over again." (paraphrasing Robert Greene).
We met Saturday night in public agreed to continue to see eachother Tuesday as long as I stopped drinking..... but late last night she messaged me saying she wanted to see me despite the pouring rain.. she said her friend was surprised that she left in the pouring rain and that it must mean she likes me a lot....cane over abd I had to push her hard for sex to which she finally succumbed... she said before we had sex that she always wants to see me but when I keep pushing her into physical contact it makes her run away...
But after sex she became more affectionate again and started questing me if I had had another girl in my bed the night before....I assured her I didn't but she said she didn't filly believe me and thought that I had finally cleaned apartment in order to see another girl...I told her she's the only one I want to see...
This morning I assumed she would be coming to ny apartment again to night but she declined saying she was going home....then she said maybe to tomorrow night and then finally Said ok....
At this point I dont think I should message to confirm abd just see if she shows up or messages me about showing up...I'm tired of pushing for stuff and know it's ny biggest mistake that I make over and over with her...also next tine she comes over, I feel like I should wait for her to pursue any physical cont act abd just go to sleep if it doesn't happen.... thoughts?
This girl is like my kryptonite for some reason... I have been completely indifferent to relationship prospects fir years before thus one...I see all my mistake s yet I keep tripping up like I'm watch ing myself third person falling abd getting back up...
Also, she has told me her friends and family said I sound like a big time player abd a bit crazy to boot...lots of stories I have told her about ny old haunt ed houses ufo sightings abd such...OBEs......so thus probably doesn't help my cause...
And after when we have sex I always have a hard time cumming at the end because I try to stretch it out longer and end up halfway cunning, depleting my power....so I always pull out and jerk off infrobt if her while she watches tv for the next 20 mins or so......she will act like it bothers her, but I think secretly she might get off on it a bit....I dint know but once I start sex, it's like pissing....I have to finish...
Also of note....she said despite it being years after broken up with her ex, I'm the first guy that's enable d her not to care that much about him abd his messages he sends her...which must be a good sign...she said no other guy has caused her to let go of that strong jealousy of her ex to be seeing other people....
I would have had thus girl already if I didn't make the catastrophic mistake of trying to force her to be my gf which has caused all thus extreme hot cold acting.... any suggestions?
I feel like I'm in an arm wrestling match mentally and emotionally and I was beginning to take the lead but I let me hand slip and she has me halfway down on the table but I can still come back over the top if I'm patient abd not pushy then can be more naturally indifferent finally slamming her knuckles onto the table...that's a hell of an 80s movie by the way...
