Death of an AFC

WildThang

Master Don Juan
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#1
I was out in a town near me yesterday, sitting in one of my favourite cafes trying to eat and read. This town is a college town - lots of young, bright people. Sometimes they sit in this cafe and try and study. Or they do dates and stuff.

Anyway - five minutes after I get there these two turn up. One of them is an Italian girl, around 20-ish. The other an Asian-looking guy, same age. She was around a 7.5. He was - well, dunno, cos I'm not good at rating guys, but he looked smooth and sharp, in a DJ kind of way.

But a DJ he was not. It was *so bad* watching this guy set himself up.

First off he's obviously interested, and that's why he's asked her out. But...

The chick starts telling him that she has a lot of guy friends, and doesn't date any of them. And they all seem to want more from her. And - like - what's up with that? Can't people just be friends?

And he says that yeah, some people just aren't emotionally mature enough to deal with that. (Implying - unlike him of course. Ha.)

Then she launches into this long story about how she went out a few times with some guy over the summer, but it was just like, social. And then this guy started being really mean with her because he thought they were dating or something, and it was really upsetting and he implied she was a lesbian when she went out (get this...) as the only girl among a huge group of guys. And ended up being the only girl in a club that night.

(So no attention seeing behaviour there, right?)

*Then* she has this long monologue about how depressed she gets sometimes, and she just wants to be on her own and not answer the phone just in case she starts crying down it.

And AFC guy is nodding and making *totally* sympathetic and understanding noises.

And then they leave and he says 'So, let's do this again sometime.' And she agrees.

Meanwhile I'd been trying to ignore all this, but this place is too small to hide in. And besides, it was like watching a major traffic disaster in slow motion. By the time they'd gone I was thinking 'Say - huh?' in a speechless kind of way.

Let's just recap, for the benefit of our viewers at home:

Chick doesn't value her female friends

Chick has many male friends, a lot of whom want her, but she doesn't want them

Chick gets into weird scenes and doesn't know why

Chick gets clinically depressed

And so we see why AFCs get it so very, very wrong. Just because this chick was a 7.5 doesn't make her good dating material. But AFC guy - unlike a real DJ - was totally unable to see past the smooth skin and the pretty arched eyebrows and the breathy, sexy foreign accent to realise that not only is he very, very unlikely to ever sleep with this chick, but even if he did she'd be high maintenance and pretty much guaranteed bad news.

Is there a moral? How about this - *DJs know not all girls are worth dating*

If you're new to the game you might be thinking 'Yay - way to go! I got this hottie to go out with me!'

And yes, that is indeed a success, especially if you've done it the hard way, closed on the digits, and all of that.

But wait - there's more to think about. If you can't read the signs, *even if a chick seems keen* she could still be very bad news. And being a 7.5 or a 9 or whatever has *nothing to do with that.*

There's this idea that getting a date is a sign of high interest. No! A chick may go on a date with you because she's bored or because she needs an emotional tampon or for whatever other dumb-ass reason she needs to suck your energy.

What you really want is a chick that's interested but also seems to have her life together.

So if you get a rejection from a chick - well, maybe you just got lucky, and missed out on a real psycho-loser.

And if you get interest, listen - for God's sake, listen - to what she's telling you. Because if you don't you'll end up pointlessly chasing her tail like AFC guy was about to find out.

And you *so* do not want to do that.
 

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Joined
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#2
Thanx for the good words of wisdom!
I've been learning lately that I can't afford to waste time on a lost cause.
So I watch for "Yellow Caution Flags" and try not to be so easily intoxicated and blinded by a pretty face. I can honestly say that I'm getting better at weeding the "lost causes" out quicker. Unfortunately though, I haven't found a "Keeper" yet!(who's also willing to "keep" me!) And that gets discouraging some times!
 

Poosy Marauder

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#4
Great post WildThang !
Yes its good to be a DJ observer watching other peoples moves and being able to pick the mistakes. Shows that your learning something here.
 

WildThang

Master Don Juan
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#6
Originally posted by Poosy Marauder:

Great post WildThang !
Yes its good to be a DJ observer watching other peoples moves and being able to pick the mistakes. Shows that your learning something here.
Oh yeah. The really scary thing is that a while back that AFC would have been me. Worse, on one of my really bad days I'd have felt a woman like that was out of my league.

Aaarfgghghghhaaaakk. (Etc.)

I love this site.
 

Blue Phoenix

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#7
Originally posted by WildThang

Let's just recap, for the benefit of our viewers at home:

Chick doesn't value her female friends

Chick has many male friends, a lot of whom want her, but she doesn't want them

Chick gets into weird scenes and doesn't know why

Chick gets clinically depressed

And so we see why AFCs get it so very, very wrong. Just because this chick was a 7.5 doesn't make her good dating material. But AFC guy - unlike a real DJ - was totally unable to see past the smooth skin and the pretty arched eyebrows and the breathy, sexy foreign accent to realise that not only is he very, very unlikely to ever sleep with this chick, but even if he did she'd be high maintenance and pretty much guaranteed bad news.
Wow! This is dead on.

A true Dj would see past her whole behavior as you said. And noticing that this girl is totally unavailable, he´d move on fast instead of an AFC who would invest his time on her and would probably get upset because of the time he has lost on her.

Originally posted by WildThang

There's this idea that getting a date is a sign of high interest. No! A chick may go on a date with you because she's bored or because she needs an emotional tampon or for whatever other dumb-ass reason she needs to suck your energy.
Perfect. I´ve met some girls that do what you´re saying. They invite me over, but nothing happens. I usually don´t go out with them and they get "angry" because of that. As If I was born to entertain them. :rolleyes:

Interesting that this kind of thing happens just with women. uh? Move on, that´s the answer. There´re enough AFCs to hang out and entertain them.
 

belividere

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#9
excellent post. I'm with you when it comes to thinking back about how I have been "that guy".
 
Joined
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#10
Originally posted by WildThang
[Bon one of my really bad days I'd have felt a woman like that was out of my league. [/B]
what!!!!!! and all this time i thought you where a chick :p hahahaah

actuly i think thats because theres a chick with a simular name to yours, but i forgot what it is.
 
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