Dating busy woman

[jacktrade]

I just started going out with this busy gal. I am having a tough time talking to her on the phone especially these few weeks. Last time I left her a message, she responded thru email the day after basically told me how busy she is.

Should i give her some space, or should i just be nice and try to call her back again? Thanks.

 

[flexion_]

There is no such thing as a busy gal.

If she is interested she will make time. Think about it yourself - if you were super busy would you be able to fit a hot chick into your schedule to tap that ass?

Don't take it personal - its just the way of things. So for advice... yep back right off as it looks like low interest.

 

[urbanwhite]

You should start being 'busy' looking for other women.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Just say 'no' to one-itis. Read this thread...

Dating multiple women... pros and cons

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Girls and guys alike make time for the things they want to make time for.

 

[Chrispy]

Originally posted by jacktrade
I just started going out with this busy gal. I am having a tough time talking to her on the phone especially these few weeks. Last time I left her a message, she responded thru email the day after basically told me how busy she is.

Should i give her some space, or should i just be nice and try to call her back again? Thanks.

I've been there. Two things I learnt from it. I myself am not busy enough (and therefore can catch one-itis) and second, any girl that is busy will make time for you if she's truly interested. In my case, these girls actually had a boyfriend which put me in a "solid second place."

 

[Genghis Juan]

jacktrade,

You didn't give alot of details about your dating experience with this women (how many dates, how often, what you did - kiss. F or what).

Nevertheless, I'd say she's not interested if she responded to your voicemail with an email saying how "busy" she is.

The "Busy" excuse is the deathknell dude. I've heard it dozens of times. Noone is that busy.

 

[jacktrade]

We went on a date, things went great, and she gave me a hug and we both wanted to go out again. Then she got this really busy week, and in her email, she wanted to do something after the week's over.

 

[Desdinova]

she wanted to do something after the week's over.

There is always the possibility that she *truly* is very busy. She could also be dating other men, and we should never put it past a woman to do so (since we do it). If she works on making time for you, it's a positive sign. However, until a woman gives you more of her time, keep her strictly on a dating level, and keep yourself busy dating other women.

 

[Genghis Juan]

We went on a date, things went great, and she gave me a hug and we both wanted to go out again. Then she got this really busy week, and in her email, she wanted to do something after the week's over.

Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. She did mention with some degree of specificity, that she wants to go out with you the next week. I wouldn't worry too much. Try to meet other women too though.

From the looks of your original post, it sounded like you were getting a healthy helping of a McShyte Sandwich.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Sometimes you really are busy. When I was finishing up my last project I had no time for guys OR my friends. It wasn't a game or low interest... no "if she really liked you she'd make time"... it couldn't be helped. It's called having responsiblities and being mature. Sometimes work (or whatever else) DOES come first.

 

[SamePendo]

Originally posted by Sexy_Malibu
Sometimes you really are busy. When I was finishing up my last project I had no time for guys OR my friends. It wasn't a game or low interest... no "if she really liked you she'd make time"... it couldn't be helped. It's called having responsiblities and being mature. Sometimes work (or whatever else) DOES come first.

What are your responsibilities? Sucking ****? *****-ing around? Shut up you ****ing *****.

Your work comes before sucking ****? Isn't that your job?

...*****.

 

[jacktrade]

I think she's has many friends and coworkers to have dinners with, and family obligations, so i'd understand that. I'd only wish we can chat on the phone more often.

 

[Lysol]

hate to say it too bro, but the first post from flexion hit it on the spot. no matter how busy she is, if she is interested, she will make time for you. she would even go as far as tell you her whole schedule flat out and tell you what days she is available. at the point your at, i would just hang back and dont call her. let her show her interest first by making her call you.

 

[dietzcoi]

Funny how women's advice on this forum is usually very wrong and off base

A person who is really interested in a person will ensure they make time for that person, male or female, period. No excuses.

Sexy Malibu: Stop making excuses for rude behavior!!

I doubt she would tell Brad Pitt or Pierce Brosnan "I am too busy right now...."

It is a sh1t test.. do not fall for it.

DIetzcoi

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
Funny how women's advice on this forum is usually very wrong and off base

A person who is really interested in a person will ensure they make time for that person, male or female, period. No excuses.

Sexy Malibu: Stop making excuses for rude behavior!!

I doubt she would tell Brad Pitt or Pierce Brosnan "I am too busy right now...."

It is a sh1t test.. do not fall for it.

DIetzcoi

He never said she was being rude. He said she was busy. Excuse me, but I don't consider declining plans nicely as "rudeness". If that was the case, then everyone in the world is rude.

Also, I'm not saying she ISN'T playing a game... all I'm saying is that "being busy" is not NECESSARILY always a game. Sometimes you ARE busy.

Ask her what she's so busy WITH? If it's work related then you should have some admiration for the fact that she does what she has to do. If a guy was really busy with work and "made time" for me having a detrimental effect on his work, I'd lose all respect for him.

My advice would be the same for whether she's playing a game or actually IS busy... lay cool for a bit and give her some space/time. Either she's actually too busy to see you, so why pressure her and keep calling and look like a ****... OR she's pretending to be too busy, so why pressure her and keep calling and look like a ****?

But should you necessarily delete her # from your phone and her face from your memory? Of course not. You never know if she is legitimately busy and is sitting at work pouting because she's not able to see you.

 

[stevera004]

Originally posted by Sexy_Malibu

Also, I'm not saying she ISN'T playing a game... all I'm saying is that "being busy" is not NECESSARILY always a game. Sometimes you ARE busy.

We are dealing with people, not robots. Of *course*, when we give advice, and use the qualifiers always,never, etc. we don't *really* mean always,never etc. We mean most of the time etc. But life if too short to waste going after the 1 in a million shot. To say otherwise is illogical (and 'romantic' i.e. very chick'ish).

If a chick says she's busy, she just isn't into you. That's it. No point in thinking otherwise. If she dug you, she would make time. Or, to state it otherwise for the slower members here, if she doesn't make time for you, she isn't worth *your* time.

Sigh, it just isn't possible for a woman to understand DJ.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by stevera004
We are dealing with people, not robots. Of *course*, when we give advice, and use the qualifiers always,never, etc. we don't *really* mean always,never etc. We mean most of the time etc. But life if too short to waste going after the 1 in a million shot. To say otherwise is illogical (and 'romantic' i.e. very chick'ish).

If a chick says she's busy, she just isn't into you. That's it. No point in thinking otherwise. If she dug you, she would make time. Or, to state it otherwise for the slower members here, if she doesn't make time for you, she isn't worth *your* time.

Sigh, it just isn't possible for a woman to understand DJ.

It's just another case of over-analyzing. As an actual woman, I know that sometimes I say I'm busy because I don't want to see the guy. And then sometimes I say I'm busy because I'm actually busy. (Normally if I was really busy, but also interested... I'd offer a counter-offer or something... "I'm really busy with this, but I should be done with this work by Wednesday").

But you're missing the point stevera, it doesn't matter if this is that '1 in a million' case or not. The action is the same.

Stop bothering her for plans. Go date some other women, etc. I'm not saying he should be sitting around waiting for her... Tell her "well I see you're so busy, so if you want to hang out you can call me". Basically let her know that you're not going to continue chasing her. That way if it was a game, she knows it's not working and will give it up. If it's not a game and she's actually busy, you haven't thrown away your chances with a nice, hot girl. Assume she's not going to ever call you.

If after a week and her responsibilities are less time-consuming, she calls you for plans then that's a nice little surprise for you. If not, well you're no worse off than you were before. Just because she's busy doesn't mean she's not into you... but I'm not saying you should be holding out on that chance either.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Spin more plates.

Regardless of her 'schedule', it's your schedule you should be concerned with. If she's that busy and she is in fact interested (although I'd doubt you are her first priority) turn her into a booty-call when she is available. If she's not, next her and find 2 or 3 other women who are interested.

Too many guys think they're snipers with women when in fact what they really need is a shotgun. Spin more plates my friend.

 

[dietzcoi]

Rollo

I like the weapon analogy... keep the good advice coming. We need to continue to fight AFCism.

Dietzcoi