Advice from the old lady:
Some observations I would offer, having been here for approaching 6 years, are these:
1. Mistaking intent. As noted eloquently above by
@FlexpertHamilton intent, or the “Why” you do something is so critical that it’s importance really cannot be overstated. Existing in an authentic way requires your intent to be congruent with your actions. So if you have a hobby, let’s say golf, you should pursue golf because you enjoy golfing as a primary rationale. Yes it has professional networking benefits in certain circles, yes you might meet a sporty girl who enjoys golf, but those are byproducts of you happening to do something you enjoy. If you were to golf strictly for the networking or dating benefits your whole aura becomes contrived to a degree and people sense this. Golf in that case is a means to an end and this makes others wary. So intent must be authentic.
2. AWALT: No. Not all women are like that. Now before this starts a firestorm allow me to explain. There are great women out there. Most of them are taken already and locked down in a marriage or LTR. So you might not really understand that great women exist or how they behave “in the wild”.
Behavior runs on a continuum from Best/Most ideal to Worst/Intolerable. Open your eyes to behaviors (always rooted in interest level or lack thereof) and pass judgement accordingly. DO NOT give low interest women your valuable time!
A woman who is into you is going to want to sex you up at least on demand and possibly more than that. If she doesn’t want to jump your bones all the time she isn’t red hot about you. Or she has serious issues and hang-ups. Now. If her serious issues and hang ups are rooted in inexperience you have a unique opportunity to mold her into your custom lover. Otherwise it’s either low interest, resource seeking, or something else other than genuine desire for you. Pick a woman who wants you physically and lots of the other issues often complained about here lessen or never surface.
So many posts here arise out of trying to persuade a low interest chick to like a man she’s ho-hum about. Nope. Next these chicks & reserve your time for women who desire you.
3. It’s just your turn: This one comes from the jadedness that comes once the constant pursuit of the conquest has lost its appeal and women become more and more physically interchangeable, which WILL happen after a man has had enough meaningless sex. Men lament the inability of a w h o re to bond but newsflash: this also happens to men. It’s Nihilism in action, and it depresses men when they realize pursuit of the conquest is just like any other dopamine producing pleasure seeking behavior. It is addictive and can leave a man emotionally bereft. That means empty.
The human need for emotional fulfillment gets left out a fair bit around here, but I attribute this to the natural bias toward emptiness and pain that brings men into this community in the first place. The wonderful irony is that there are men here who are successful and well adjusted/calibrated to women. I don’t think enough weight is given to their voices.
If you pay attention to any poster’s content you will learn a great deal about that person’s perspective, values, and beliefs. Be mindful of who you listen to. We all become what we believe.
Cheers