Constructive Discussions

[Fruitbat]

You’re the one who made the decision to seek advice on a public forum, which for the record was not about your schizophrenic ex, but about your current girlfriend that you want to ‘fix’. People have taken time out of their day to give you what they feel is honest advice. You don’t like the advice you’re being given, so you turn around and attack the messengers.

You do this because you’re thin skinned, and can’t handle being told advice that doesn’t square up with what you want to hear. In fact, all of your responses throughout this entire thread are defensive critiques of the red pill solutions being offered to you. The people challenging you, myself included, want to help you, not get ‘digs’ or ‘belittle’ you to use some of the millennial, feminized language that Aj84 a.k.a ‘Dudley do-right’ mentioned earlier.

If you choose to post painful, personal details about yourself on a public forum, you need to accept that what people say in response may not always be what you want to hear. If you can’t handle the responses (which you clearly can’t), don’t post painful, personal details about yourself. Look at some of my older posts, specifically the one where I seek advice on helping my LTR cope with depression. Many of the responses were ‘dump her now...’ I didn't challenge those responses. I engaged in thoughtful discussion, took the advice that seemed plausible, and ignored the responses that were knee jerk. I am going on 4 plus years with the same woman, and the advice I received on this forum is a big reason why my LTR is healthy.

I’ve noticed that this forum has become highly femanized since I first starting hanging around here. Lot’s of words like ‘belittle’ and ‘you hurt my feelings...’, guys telling other guys that responses are ‘hurtful’, etc.

another men’s group taken down from within...adios amigos. Have fun at your tea party, and watch out for the book clubs.

Well, I’m about to feck my wife for the 2nd time today.

Good luck with all your PUA theories.

 

[Roober]

It seems that there is lots of good solutions here, and each should be applied to the context of the situation. Sometimes it's okay to redirect her elsewhere, sometimes it's okay to course correct, and sometimes it's okay just to listen and let her sort it out.

 

[kingvavy]

Good luck with all your PUA theories.

Game theory applies to LTRs. It is essential to keeping an LTR healthy. Sounds like your first marriage was painful. Been there, with an ex wife who was also clinical mental health, not just ‘she’s nuts...’ I had to go to a therapist to figure out the damage that being married to someone who was truly mentally ill did to me. Yes, the ideas on this forum helped, but therapy helped me to figure out patterns that I was repeating.

Enjoy your wife but don’t stop gaming her.

 

[The Duke]

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a good book that explains a lot of female behavior as @LiveYourDream touched on.

 

[thelad]

Has anyone considered family influence e.g mother in laws and the sons mother, in keeping the feminine imperative going. I think they are over looked in the red pill world. they can do untold damage to men as well especially in their children marriages.

 

[glass half full]

Men are logical so they would deduce that when a woman is talking about her problems it is because she wants help fixing them. Right? Wrong. As illogical as it is, that is not what women want when they talk about their problems. I understand that makes zero sense to men. Regardless, sooner you understand that, the happier you both will be.

It is not that women don't want your help solving their problems. It's that unless she has specifically asked for it, she is not talking about it right then, because she actually wants to focus on solving it. (I get that does not make sense either. I am just reporting how it is.)

They are talking about it, to relieve internal tension, to empty out so to speak.

I appreciate your input, it may be true of a lot of women...my ex was doing that to warn me that I need to start doing much better in life, quickly, because her friends were finding fault with me and if I didn't fix myself, they were going to fix her up with someone else. Basically they were jealous and wanted my wife to experience drama, and watch me walk on egg shells in front of the criticizing women. And of course, it worked, because I had no idea how to react, being the Beta that I was.

I'm not criticizing your answer, I know that many times it is right. But I know of others who have been twisted like me. Just putting it out there.

 

[lamath]

Has anyone considered family influence e.g mother in laws and the sons mother, in keeping the feminine imperative going. I think they are over looked in the red pill world. they can do untold damage to men as well especially in their children marriages.

This is very true, from my experience women from intact family usualy aimed for a relationship similar to the one of her parent.
Also father daughter relationship is a good indicator we all know about dady issues.

 

[glass half full]

Indeed family plays a big role as well. My family is "uptight" enough to scare off most women.
That's why they don't get to meet her so soon. I will likely never find a woman good enough for my mom. Just the way it is.
I've never been good enough, why should my mate? Having been there, is why in the past I never cared what my date's fam was like.
These days, I dunno....

 

[thelad]

Not only that but all these women are or will be mothers too so your mother is in the same way of thinking towards her husband and does not want their sons to deviate from that blue pill provider thinking.
It serves them long term well after the husbands death they do live longer than men and when it comes to daughters, they don't see any value in them unless it serves a purpose against the husband/father.

All in all there are very good family units out there and get on well but by and by large a lot of them are in trouble due to the wife who feels unfullilled and wants more (money or rights as such)

I know quite a few married for over 20 years now looking big divorce settlements and they have adult children.
This is all due to female entitlement thinking without having to earn/work for it.

The sad thing is when they get what they want They live out lonely lives even worse than previously after the wall of course.

You do need to watch red flags on how the females family interact with her and with you glass half full. watch your ass big time.

 

[glass half full]

I totally understand, Lad...
Moving away shortly, getting away. Carving it out myself, my grown kid is coming w/ me.
I may end up not holding the fam. trust so I'm building my own, my way.
My Way, for me is powerful words in my situation.
No longer counting the months, down to weeks now.