Confrontation in car park


Master Don Juan
Dec 30, 2012
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Internet hard men please moderate your BS on this!

I was with my nephew (18 mild autism) and my 2 yo daughter.

we got in our car and there wasn’t much space for the doors. Couple sat in car on the side.

as my nephew gets in the other car beeps, the guy comes out, raps on the window. As I’m getting my senses, he opens my nephews car door and is clearly pissed. Basically says “can you not hit my car”

My nephew didn’t hit it hard and the fact the guy didn’t even check for damage showed he was probably having a row with his wife.

So anyway, I felt my anger rise as the dude just opened my cars door without invitation and I had a strong urge to tell him to F off, or to say “where’s the damage then” but I basically said “ok no worries, sorry mate” and drove off. In the end I decided it wasn’t worth having a fight over and he was clearly upset about something else.

As in all these situations where it didn’t come to blows I am kind of half happy I avoided a conflict but there’s a male pride being damaged here. The thing is, I couldn’t really tell how hard he hit it so a part of me thought “we could be in the wrong here”. I currently have an adrenaline surge and I stopped the car midway through drivjing off as I had half a mind to tap on his windows and telll him to F off.

it’s a fine line between avoiding pointless conflict and not backing down. I remember making the decision on the basis of “this is not worth it” but pride is wounded.

thoughts? Would you have made an issue of it?

the way he spoke I felt he was going to explode if I had prodded him. The dude was tiny compared to me, not intimidating and I would have sincerely mashed him up.

criminal record and losing job over a non damage incident to a car door? Madness - but I have a part of me which wants to smash his head in.

the issue is, if I was with my wife there would be another story. Although I objectively avoided a stupid conflict, I worry a woman would think her man just backed out. If he had opened my wife’s car door (had she been with me) I think I would have reacted differently. But whether or not we ALWAYS rise to a threat or know when it’s worth the fight is an interesting topic.

problem is, these things that catch you off guard are the hardest. In retrospect I would have told him not to open my door and to show me the damage but at the time I just had “angry person” in my face and I just thought this isn’t a hill to die on.
Yeah, sounds like you had mild adrenaline dump. There is a good book on this type of situation by an ex doorman called geoff thompson.


The Duke

Master Don Juan
Feb 4, 2008
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I'm not taking any schitt when it comes to messing with one of my vehicles. If I catch you in the act I am going do the same thing this guy did. If you aren't around, your car is getting scratched all the way down the side with my key. Same goes for if you can't park in between the lines.

I drive nice stuff, take immense care and pride in my cars. I always try and park far away to avoid this crap.

Dont start no schitt, won't be no schitt.


Master Don Juan
Dec 29, 2017
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In today’s day and age it’s absolutely insane to escalate any conflict... unless your in danger of death or injury.

Last spring I was on a golf trip with my buddies. We are standing in a bar, watching a band and suddenly I got jolted. My one Buddy says wtf... that guy just lowered his shoulder into you. I looked and the guys staring me down as he walks out. He’s about 55.... a sloppy looking old dude... I went black. Followed him outside and confronted him... his Friend started yelling at him.. told him he’s an idiot. He then apologized.. said he shouldn’t have done that and put his hand out to shake.

I didn’t trust him and said no worries mate... wouldn’t shake his hand and went back in the bar.... the bouncer said yo what was that ? I said some drunk tried to tackle me on his way out. He said glad it ended better than the last two issues we had. Turned out two bar fights ended with someone dead. From now on I’m laughing crap off... the world is mad