Confidence

[Fruitbat]

Occasionally I have a little voice or internal dialogue of fear. Fear I might lose everything, fear I will fail at job (despite doing it for 20 years and never being fired).

I find that sleep and diet play a huge role. All the self-help stuff I’ve read is aimed at retards and low confidence women. Things like “try to speak to 2 people at a party”. That’s easy. I want to be bulletproof.

occasionally I get into a mode where every fear evaporates. What if, what if….and I’ll think ‘whatever happens I will ace it’. This is the exception.

Has anyone been successful in quieting the internal worrier/critic? Bear in mind I am naturally a worrier and always was since a small boy.

I feel if I could get that confidence, I could be a LOT happier and successful. I guess this comes under DNGAF?

any thoughts?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

 

[Vanderdonck]

Occasionally I have a little voice or internal dialogue of fear. Fear I might lose everything, fear I will fail at job (despite doing it for 20 years and never being fired).

I find that sleep and diet play a huge role. All the self-help stuff I’ve read is aimed at retards and low confidence women. Things like “try to speak to 2 people at a party”. That’s easy. I want to be bulletproof.

occasionally I get into a mode where every fear evaporates. What if, what if….and I’ll think ‘whatever happens I will ace it’. This is the exception.

Has anyone been successful in quieting the internal worrier/critic? Bear in mind I am naturally a worrier and always was since a small boy.

I feel if I could get that confidence, I could be a LOT happier and successful. I guess this comes under DNGAF?

any thoughts?

That little voice is simply the ego doing its evolutionary job. Thank it and dismiss its warning. You've been successful up til now, right? So it stands to reason you will continue to work hard and enjoy success. The ego is just working out scenarios because 10,000+ years ago survival was a lot less certain.

Here's a tip: Worry about good stuff happening. What if you get a promotion? A huge raise? What if you invest in something and it pays out big time? Your brain doesn't know the difference and will accept what you tell it. Worry is just self punishment.

 

[FlirtLife]

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

The Sleeper must awaken... in the belly of a worm... drinking the juice of Sapho.

All the self-help stuff I’ve read is aimed at retards and low confidence women.

Amazon's category "Personal Transformation Self-Help" includes:
#52 : No More Mr Nice Guy
#348 : The Rational Male

I'm disagree those self-help books are "aimed at retards and low confidence women".

 

[plumber]

Occasionally I have a little voice or internal dialogue of fear. Fear I might lose everything, fear I will fail at job (despite doing it for 20 years and never being fired).

I find that sleep and diet play a huge role. All the self-help stuff I’ve read is aimed at retards and low confidence women. Things like “try to speak to 2 people at a party”. That’s easy. I want to be bulletproof.

occasionally I get into a mode where every fear evaporates. What if, what if….and I’ll think ‘whatever happens I will ace it’. This is the exception.

Has anyone been successful in quieting the internal worrier/critic? Bear in mind I am naturally a worrier and always was since a small boy.

I feel if I could get that confidence, I could be a LOT happier and successful. I guess this comes under DNGAF?

any thoughts?

you have been around for along time...

practical idea on this; is to squeeze it out.

the issue with solving this is that if we focus on it and try to convince yourself to not fear.. we are then giving power to the fear. spending more time to ack the fear gives it more power. so.. you finally convince yourself to not fear, but then the mind just goes to fear again. what to do....

focus on something else, with actions. do something that requires for focus, and continue doing it until your good at it. put energy and time into getting good at "something". as you get better and better at "something", the space in your mind to worry gets smaller.

boxing
BJJ
chess
darts..
work
church
volunteer
additional school
political activity

this is the way. do and get better at something, become and "expert or leader in something".

 

[zekko]

Occasionally I have a little voice or internal dialogue of fear. Fear I might lose everything, fear I will fail at job (despite doing it for 20 years and never being fired).

Stupid things can always happen, setbacks are always possible. I've known many long term employees who were dismissed for some stupid thing or other. Sometimes they got too comfortable after being there so long, sometimes there was a freak occurrence, sometimes something happened and they needed a scapegoat, and sometimes management was just unfair. This isn't likely to happen to you IMO fear is a necessary voice for survival. It warns you that something could happen, it keeps you focused. There are always dangerous animals in the jungle. It's better to have a little humility than to arrogantly assume you are above any troubles.

I would have confidence that if something were to happen, that you would be able to bounce back and find other employment. If there is something you could do to feed that confidence, I would do it.