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Completely f*cked up with hot girl

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Don Juan
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Yes, live your life without worrying about it. It's not a strategy but just a state of mind (and good time management). Just because she turned you down is no reason to shun her. If she says hi again some time, say hi back, if you want. It's up to you to decide what's a waste of your time though.
I agree with being cordial. However, what if she wants small talk? Clearly she isn't interested. At this point she could be doing it for an ego boost. Would you engage with small talk or just say hello and carry on shopping, i.e. don't get sidetracked from your purpose there. Furthermore, would you actively engage with her if she didn't with you? By that I mean, would you go out of your way to say hey to her first, or wait for her to initiate the niceties?
 

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Don Juan
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You already asked her out directly and got rejected. Why haven't you moved on and why are you so hung up on this gal?
Who cares what she thinks? Just go about your business and buy groceries or lunch just like you were doing before this whole thing started.
You have way too much investment in her, even after a rejection and inaction. Move on already...
Thanks. I admit I was hung up on her before. But not I know she isn't interested it seems to have had a positive effect - I no longer care anymore. I am now asking myself what all the big deal was in the first place if she says no. I think reading advice on here and books have helped A LOT in this.
 

samspade

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I agree with being cordial. However, what if she wants small talk? Clearly she isn't interested. At this point she could be doing it for an ego boost. Would you engage with small talk or just say hello and carry on shopping, i.e. don't get sidetracked from your purpose there. Furthermore, would you actively engage with her if she didn't with you? By that I mean, would you go out of your way to say hey to her first, or wait for her to initiate the niceties?
Here is my philosophy. I'm going to meet plenty of uninterested women. Is it worth my emotional and mental energy to strategize how to deal with them? Not really. I don't take it personally, unless there was blatant disrespect or rudeness. Otherwise anyone can have a bad day, and it's not all about me.

I wouldn't go out of my way to engage with her, but if she were my cashier I'd be fine with a little banter on the way out. Or passing her by I might say hi and even chit chat. If I were having a party I might invite her and tell her to bring some cute friends. The bottom line is I wouldn't go into this store thinking about every possible scenario. Just go with the flow. You took your shot, it hit the rim, life's all good. I don't see it as losing face by continuing to be my freewheeling self.
 

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Don Juan
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Here is my philosophy. I'm going to meet plenty of uninterested women. Is it worth my emotional and mental energy to strategize how to deal with them? Not really. I don't take it personally, unless there was blatant disrespect or rudeness. Otherwise anyone can have a bad day, and it's not all about me.

I wouldn't go out of my way to engage with her, but if she were my cashier I'd be fine with a little banter on the way out. Or passing her by I might say hi and even chit chat. If I were having a party I might invite her and tell her to bring some cute friends. The bottom line is I wouldn't go into this store thinking about every possible scenario. Just go with the flow. You took your shot, it hit the rim, life's all good. I don't see it as losing face by continuing to be my freewheeling self.
Thanks for the advice.

One final point: If you see a girl with who has a great ass, would you ever approach them and tell them they have a great ass before engaging them in small talk - or is that too crude? Cheers
 

samspade

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Thanks for the advice.

One final point: If you see a girl with who has a great ass, would you ever approach them and tell them they have a great ass before engaging them in small talk - or is that too crude? Cheers
Lol, as a general rule, I would advise against that. Strongly.

I never say never, and there are some next-level ways you could pull it off, like in a nightclub. But it requires a lot of ingredients: Unflappable frame, the right environment, the right target. In every day life it won't get you far (and may get you a slap in the face).
 

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Don Juan
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Lol, as a general rule, I would advise against that. Strongly.

I never say never, and there are some next-level ways you could pull it off, like in a nightclub. But it requires a lot of ingredients: Unflappable frame, the right environment, the right target. In every day life it won't get you far (and may get you a slap in the face).
I kind of guessed that. I only ask because some PUA say that you tell the girl whatever is on your mind that you think is good about them (e.g. eyes, smile, body, ass, that they have a sexy body etc.). They say never compliment them too much, maybe once and that is it. However, other posts I read on here say you don't.

I am on page 204 of The book of Book. After reading that, I have The rationale Male to read, followed by Neil Strauss. But so far it has been an eye opener.
 

samspade

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I kind of guessed that. I only ask because some PUA say that you tell the girl whatever is on your mind that you think is good about them (e.g. eyes, smile, body, ass, that they have a sexy body etc.). They say never compliment them too much, maybe once and that is it. However, other posts I read on here say you don't.

I am on page 204 of The book of Book. After reading that, I have The rationale Male to read, followed by Neil Strauss. But so far it has been an eye opener.
Believe me, anything is possible...one of my RP friends told me he knew a guy whose opener in bars was "let's fukk" with a huge smile on his face. It probably worked because it was self-effacing yet bold and got a laugh, but delivered the wrong way and you'll get the bum's rush.

Keep reading and socializing. Complimenting tits and a$$ is a minefield. Generally women know that you want their bodies so they want you to say something, anything else about them.

A good misdirect is "I really like those pants. Where'd you get them?" She tells you, and you can add "You wear 'em well." She knows what you mean. If you veer away from physical attributes, which they've heard 1,000 times, and more toward things like style, vibe, intelligence, charm, you'll separate yourself from the thirsty mob.
 

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Don Juan
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Believe me, anything is possible...one of my RP friends told me he knew a guy whose opener in bars was "let's fukk" with a huge smile on his face. It probably worked because it was self-effacing yet bold and got a laugh, but delivered the wrong way and you'll get the bum's rush.

Keep reading and socializing. Complimenting tits and a$$ is a minefield. Generally women know that you want their bodies so they want you to say something, anything else about them.

A good misdirect is "I really like those pants. Where'd you get them?" She tells you, and you can add "You wear 'em well." She knows what you mean. If you veer away from physical attributes, which they've heard 1,000 times, and more toward things like style, vibe, intelligence, charm, you'll separate yourself from the thirsty mob.
Great. Thanks.
 

Visionist

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I remember asking a girl I'd just been introduced to by friends "you look familiar - have we fücked?" When she laughed and said "Nooo", I shook my head and replied "No, not yet". Comically, I was still shaking her hand at this point. I withdrew my hand and motioned to my amused friends "well one of my friends can give you my number, if you wanna frequent me" (frequent is a common word in Italian, meaning to spend time with someone). Then I asked her name, and without giving her mine, turned and walked away.

She never got in touch :ninja:
 

mrgoodstuff

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I remember asking a girl I'd just been introduced to by friends "you look familiar - have we fücked?" When she laughed and said "Nooo", I shook my head and replied "No, not yet". Comically, I was still shaking her hand at this point. I withdrew my hand and motioned to my amused friends "well one of my friends can give you my number, if you wanna frequent me" (frequent is a common word in Italian, meaning to spend time with someone). Then I asked her name, and without giving her mine, turned and walked away.

She never got in touch :ninja:
She was amused and so were you. Theres billions of them.
 

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@samspade

Thanks for all the great advice above.

However, I need some fresh advice since everything has evolved.

I followed advice and just went about my purpose (grocery shopping) and remained cordial with her.

Today I spoke to her asking for a different sandwich to eat. We began talking and she was very receptive. Being cordial I asked her how her weekend went, to which she said she was tired from working 6/7 days last week. She then expanded and said she hasn't been getting a sleep because it has been so hot at night. But then she through the ball back in my court and asked me how I am coping with the weather etc.

At one point she went to walk to the other side of the aisle to stock up but stopped and turned to me to continue talking to me. Eventually I walked with her to there other side where she voluntarily gave more information about herself. She said she was leaving in a few weeks because she was going back to University. I asked her what she was studying and she said Chemistry. Again she expanded conversation talking about her future plans - going on to do a Masters degree in Chemistry. After I asked her what she wanted to become and she said to work for a pharmaceutical drugs company developing drugs.

As the conversation seemed to be going really well, I got the courage to go for it again and I asked her if she was available the weekend, to which she said at the moment she is working six days this week, but then said it would have to be the following weekend. Now here is the confusing part, I offered my number and she said for me to wait until three weeks time because she said she couldn't give out her number as it was against the supermarket's policy - she mentioned data protection act. When I asked her out she seemed nervous, shy -ish - not really sure, just a bit on edge. Even when I offered my number, she wasn't trying to walk away, in fact she turned her body towards me as if to let me continue talking to her. I said okay and said I would and we can get together to have fun. She did say to ask her again in a few weeks when I reiterated the fun bit. Really confused to be honest.

She seemed REALLY receptive, seemed into the conversation. It wasn't like she was trying to leave the conversation or that she was disinterested, she seemed willing to chat, even expand on herself. And for any of you who read my first post, you can see SHE was showing ME interest. Even initiated talking to ME. It isn't like I am chasing her first, from a position of cold approaching. I mean, why show interest to NOT be interested. Doesn't make sense.

Any advice would be appreciated guys. Bit confused.
 
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samspade

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@samspade

Thanks for all the great advice above.

However, I need some fresh advice since everything has evolved.

I followed advice and just went about my purpose (grocery shopping) and remained cordial with her.

Today I spoke to her asking for a different sandwich to eat. We began talking and she was very receptive. Being cordial I asked her how her weekend went, to which she said she was tired from working 6/7 days last week. She then expanded and said she hasn't been getting a sleep because it has been so hot at night. But then she through the ball back in my court and asked me how I am coping with the weather etc.

At one point she went to walk to the other side of the aisle to stock up but stopped and turned to me to continue talking to me. Eventually I walked with her to there other side where she voluntarily gave more information about herself. She said she was leaving in a few weeks because she was going back to University. I asked her what she was studying and she said Chemistry. Again she expanded conversation talking about her future plans - going on to do a Masters degree in Chemistry. After I asked her what she wanted to become and she said to work for a pharmaceutical drugs company developing drugs.

As the conversation seemed to be going really well, I got the courage to go for it again and I asked her if she was available the weekend, to which she said at the moment she is working six days this week, but then said it would have to be the following weekend. Now here is the confusing part, I offered my number and she said for me to wait until three weeks time because she said she couldn't give out her number as it was against the supermarket's policy - she mentioned data protection act. When I asked her out she seemed nervous, shy -ish - not really sure, just a bit on edge. Even when I offered my number, she wasn't trying to walk away, in fact she turned her body towards me as if to let me continue talking to her. I said okay and said I would and we can get together to have fun. She did say to ask her again in a few weeks when I reiterated the fun bit. Really confused to be honest.

She seemed REALLY receptive, seemed into the conversation. It wasn't like she was trying to leave the conversation or that she was disinterested, she seemed willing to chat, even expand on herself. And for any of you who read my first post, you can see SHE was showing ME interest. Even initiated talking to ME. It isn't like I am chasing her first, from a position of cold approaching. I mean, why show interest to NOT be interested. Doesn't make sense.

Any advice would be appreciated guys. Bit confused.
First, her non verbal communication is telling you she's interested, so that's good, and good for you for picking up on that. Plus she gave you a counter-offer of sorts by saying let's talk in three weeks.

Second, take her at her word. She might not want to get into trouble by seeing a customer. By the way, one workaround way to ask out girls in service jobs is "so do they let you date customers? I'd love to meet up some time away from here." This gives the girl a non-awkward way to say no while still being direct. She may not be allowed, or may not be interested, but it takes the pressure off of her because she might be afraid of either pissing off her boss or pissing off a customer.

Third, she probably is exhausted. I don't know if you've worked on your feet 6-7 days a week, but I have, and all I felt like doing in my free time was unplugging at home. I know the Sosuave line is "if she's interested, she'll make time no matter what," but that's not always realistic. People have personal commitments and priorities and don't always have the energy for dating. It's not always about you...in fact it usually isn't.

Keep it light and fun and circle back to her in a few weeks. Meanwhile keep socializing and charming other girls.
 

HyenaPrince

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@samspade

Thanks for all the great advice above.

However, I need some fresh advice since everything has evolved.

I followed advice and just went about my purpose (grocery shopping) and remained cordial with her.

Today I spoke to her asking for a different sandwich to eat. We began talking and she was very receptive. Being cordial I asked her how her weekend went, to which she said she was tired from working 6/7 days last week. She then expanded and said she hasn't been getting a sleep because it has been so hot at night. But then she through the ball back in my court and asked me how I am coping with the weather etc.

At one point she went to walk to the other side of the aisle to stock up but stopped and turned to me to continue talking to me. Eventually I walked with her to there other side where she voluntarily gave more information about herself. She said she was leaving in a few weeks because she was going back to University. I asked her what she was studying and she said Chemistry. Again she expanded conversation talking about her future plans - going on to do a Masters degree in Chemistry. After I asked her what she wanted to become and she said to work for a pharmaceutical drugs company developing drugs.

As the conversation seemed to be going really well, I got the courage to go for it again and I asked her if she was available the weekend, to which she said at the moment she is working six days this week, but then said it would have to be the following weekend. Now here is the confusing part, I offered my number and she said for me to wait until three weeks time because she said she couldn't give out her number as it was against the supermarket's policy - she mentioned data protection act. When I asked her out she seemed nervous, shy -ish - not really sure, just a bit on edge. Even when I offered my number, she wasn't trying to walk away, in fact she turned her body towards me as if to let me continue talking to her. I said okay and said I would and we can get together to have fun. She did say to ask her again in a few weeks when I reiterated the fun bit. Really confused to be honest.

She seemed REALLY receptive, seemed into the conversation. It wasn't like she was trying to leave the conversation or that she was disinterested, she seemed willing to chat, even expand on herself. And for any of you who read my first post, you can see SHE was showing ME interest. Even initiated talking to ME. It isn't like I am chasing her first, from a position of cold approaching. I mean, why show interest to NOT be interested. Doesn't make sense.

Any advice would be appreciated guys. Bit confused.
Maybe I have missed something from before, but why in a few weeks? Was it a rough estimate or is something going to change by that time?
 

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Don Juan
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Maybe I have missed something from before, but why in a few weeks? Was it a rough estimate or is something going to change by that time?
She leaves work to go back to university in three weeks time, so suggested then as if to say that is when she is free.
 

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Don Juan
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First, her non verbal communication is telling you she's interested, so that's good, and good for you for picking up on that. Plus she gave you a counter-offer of sorts by saying let's talk in three weeks.

Second, take her at her word. She might not want to get into trouble by seeing a customer. By the way, one workaround way to ask out girls in service jobs is "so do they let you date customers? I'd love to meet up some time away from here." This gives the girl a non-awkward way to say no while still being direct. She may not be allowed, or may not be interested, but it takes the pressure off of her because she might be afraid of either pissing off her boss or pissing off a customer.
Maybe I am reading too much into it, but when I first asked her when she was available she said she is working six days this week, then said it would have to be next week (when we could meet up). However, when I asked for her number she said she doesn't give it out to customers. So I countered by offering mine and that is when she said it was supermarket policy not to. However, it was her suggestion when she then said to ask her again in three weeks.

Regarding non-verbal communication. Yes I picked up on vibes, but if you point out her non-verbal showing interest to help I would appreciate it.

I got the impression that, as soon as I asked her how her weekend was, she just took off. Hence took over the conversation about not sleeping, then throwing it back into my court. She went from being subdued or looking disinterested or as if I wasn't there when I was around her, to chatty as soon as I initiated conversation. She even was playful by saying not to blame her if I don't like the sandwich she suggested. So I responded, 'If I find myself with my head in the bowl throwing up, I will know who to blame and that she owed me a refund.' She looked at me and smiled.
 
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HyenaPrince

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She leaves work to go back to university in three weeks time, so suggested then as if to say that is when she is free.
Yeah, makes sense. Leave her alone until then. If there's another supermarket close by, you should go there instead until you're going for the attack one last time. Because that will be your last shot. If you approach her in a few weeks and she still tries to avoid a date, you know what to do.

If you have no other choice but to go to that specific supermarket, you should avoid her every now and then. Just nod at her or smile. No further conversation until the time is due.
 

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Don Juan
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Yeah, makes sense. Leave her alone until then. If there's another supermarket close by, you should go there instead until you're going for the attack one last time. Because that will be your last shot. If you approach her in a few weeks and she still tries to avoid a date, you know what to do.

If you have no other choice but to go to that specific supermarket, you should avoid her every now and then. Just nod at her or smile. No further conversation until the time is due.
So you suggest that I only say hello and chat every now and then to her? Or do I just hello and keep moving until three weeks times when I ask her out again?
 

samspade

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So you suggest that I only say hello and chat every now and then to her? Or do I just hello and keep moving until three weeks times when I ask her out again?
IMO it's better to make yourself a little scarce. You can still say hello. But do you have to go there every day? I'm sure there are other places to get lunch.

As for your other post, yes, you are reading too much into it. Remember, she's just a silly little dork.
 
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