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Completely f*cked up with hot girl

stringpuller

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Seriously, go after what you want. Don't overthink this. If you're worried about not being able to have lunch there any more, well, she probably won't work there forever and I'm sure you have options. And that would be IF you dated, then broke up and it was awkward. Which can't happen if you don't ASK HER OUT.
Sam guys like OP can get far more damaged just diving in and getting hard rejections. Eric Disco wrote about hos approach years ago and he said the same thing so he eased dudes in. Worked for many.
 

stringpuller

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How does one ease in?

He explains it in his blogs. He does good work. The sience of it a bit at a time works. Not for everyone but back in the day his method really made sense for me and shed some great light on indirect opening.

We have to keep in mind that alot of guys piss themselves even running into a stunningly beautiful woman and even as Gene Simmons said in Domino.
"Forget my name"
 

Pan87

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To a generation weaned on mobile devices it can feel surprisingly challenging inviting a girl out in person. I'm guilty of getting a girl's number and then inviting her out a few days later more times than I can count.

When I first started directly inviting girls out I would trip over my words and make mistakes due to nerves. Naturally it never went anywhere. The only way to Git Gud is to do it again and again and again, and that means a target rich environment, which means living in a big city.

OP if her interest has dropped just withdraw your attention or you'll start to get sucked into her frame. Smile casually, say good morning etc, but leave it at that. Nothing you can do to rekindle lost interest at this stage. If you were already dating her this might rekindle her interest.
Rekindling lost interest is possible, but it is more trouble than it's worth.

Once a woman sees you as a man she isn't attracted to, it is difficult for her to unsee it and your frame with her is forever stained.
 

sceneparade

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Update:

I took guys advice and I decided to play it cool and see what happens.

She once again engaged with ME and progressed the interaction, so to speak. She said hi to me and asked how I was etc. We get chatting and she was very engaged and smiling a lot - like she couldn't stop having a smiley face. I felt like the vibes were positive. She told me she was very tired this week because she had to get up at 4am. This could be the reason for her withdrawal. Furthermore, she told me she had no plans this weekend and was spending it at home.
 

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samspade

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Update:

I took guys advice and I decided to play it cool and see what happens.

She once again engaged with ME and progressed the interaction, so to speak. She said hi to me and asked how I was etc. We get chatting and she was very engaged and smiling a lot - like she couldn't stop having a smiley face. I felt like the vibes were positive. She told me she was very tired this week because she had to get up at 4am. This could be the reason for her withdrawal. Furthermore, she told me she had no plans this weekend and was spending it at home.
That it?
 

Igetit!

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Well my understanding from her saying she had no plans the weekend was a hint to asking her out.
Ok,uhh..........

So did you take the hint?

Or is this an update about how you failed to take action for the bazillionth time?
 

sceneparade

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Ok,uhh..........

So did you take the hint?

Or is this an update about how you failed to take action for the bazillionth time?
I did ask her out and she wasn't interested. I blew it, as I said, when I acted indecisive last week.

The thing is: she appears to be disrespectful and rude. I know everyone here has their own boundaries on what constitutes disrespect, but to me she is now acting disrespectfully. For example, a day after being rejected, she was talking to a customer (guy in his 60s) and same me walking towards her, but didn't acknowledge me or say hello. Then the next time, she said 'alright' when I was buying lunch. And, yet again, today she blanked me. And it wasn't a case she didn't see me. We were almost facing each other at the deli. She knew I was there, but didn't look at me or anything - Just blanked me.

I find her idea of me being optional as to when she speaks to me to be highly disrespectful. I feel that if she is disrespectful, I should ignore her. Even if next time she says hello/good morning, just blank her. Ignore her completely and move on. In the early days of the courtship, if you will (as I described at the beginning of my post), when I was indifferent, didn't acknowledge her existence, she was making eye contact, and even went up to me to start talking. Ironic!

So anyone have any ideas how to behave towards her in future.
 

samspade

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I did ask her out and she wasn't interested. I blew it, as I said, when I acted indecisive last week.

The thing is: she appears to be disrespectful and rude. I know everyone here has their own boundaries on what constitutes disrespect, but to me she is now acting disrespectfully. For example, a day after being rejected, she was talking to a customer (guy in his 60s) and same me walking towards her, but didn't acknowledge me or say hello. Then the next time, she said 'alright' when I was buying lunch. And, yet again, today she blanked me. And it wasn't a case she didn't see me. We were almost facing each other at the deli. She knew I was there, but didn't look at me or anything - Just blanked me.

I find her idea of me being optional as to when she speaks to me to be highly disrespectful. I feel that if she is disrespectful, I should ignore her. Even if next time she says hello/good morning, just blank her. Ignore her completely and move on. In the early days of the courtship, if you will (as I described at the beginning of my post), when I was indifferent, didn't acknowledge her existence, she was making eye contact, and even went up to me to start talking. Ironic!

So anyone have any ideas how to behave towards her in future.
I'm trying to understand this.

You asked her plans for the weekend, she said she had none. You then asked her DIRECTLY to do something and she turned you down. Now she is being indifferent to you.

Is that correct?

As for your opinion of her being "disrespectful." Bro you're not her boss or her dad. This is just your ego talking and you're now strategizing a girl who turned you down. Think about how dumb that is. Your life should be full of joy and awesomeness and this chick should not be more than a bug you flick off your shoulder. It's her loss.

But please tell us the exact wording you used to ask her out.
 

sceneparade

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I'm trying to understand this.

You asked her plans for the weekend, she said she had none. You then asked her DIRECTLY to do something and she turned you down. Now she is being indifferent to you.

Is that correct?

As for your opinion of her being "disrespectful." Bro you're not her boss or her dad. This is just your ego talking and you're now strategizing a girl who turned you down. Think about how dumb that is. Your life should be full of joy and awesomeness and this chick should not be more than a bug you flick off your shoulder. It's her loss.

But please tell us the exact wording you used to ask her out.
Yes, Exactly! It baffles me too! Possible AW?

So, carry on as before I knew her? i.e. not let her matter and move on to the next? The reason I asked was because other posts I read stated that it is about time management. You don't let a girl waste your time. You cut your losses and move on.

Anyway, I am reading the book of Pook at the moment, which I find interesting - and a revelation.

And in regards to what I said. I said good morning, to which she said hi. I then got into small talk (been up to much? etc.). I then told her I had been meaning to ask her name for a while and then asked her name and gave mine afterwards. Then I said she seems like a cool person and that we should meet up and so I asked her if she was available this week.
 
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cheyne

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well, sounds like you took your shot and she wasn't interested.
Not to worry.
NEXT!

ps - How old are you and how old are the girls at the drug store? Yous say there's a few cute girls working there? Maybe try flirting with another one and see if you can get a jealousy plotline going!
 

TonyTenner

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Yes, Exactly! It baffles me too! Possible AW?

So, carry on as before I knew her? i.e. not let her matter and move on to the next? The reason I asked was because other posts I read stated that it is about time management. You don't let a girl waste your time. You cut your losses and move on.

Anyway, I am reading the book of Pook at the moment, which I find interesting - and a revelation.

And in regards to what I said. I said good morning, to which she said hi. I then got into small talk (been up to much? etc.). I then told her I had been meaning to ask her name for a while and then asked her name and gave mine afterwards. Then I said she seems like a cool person and that we should meet up and so I asked her if she was available this week.
I've done this in the past. It's time to shop in a different grocery store. Sounds like you're turning up every few days and that's only killing what already is low interest. Dip back to that store in a month and give it one final shot.
 

sceneparade

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I've done this in the past. It's time to shop in a different grocery store. Sounds like you're turning up every few days and that's only killing what already is low interest. Dip back to that store in a month and give it one final shot.
LOL I go there EVERYDAY (mon-fri) as it is the local shop to where I work. Hence I buy lunch there. Before I went there, however, I did go to the bakery, which I stopped because it was close due to the lockdown. So I could start going there instead.

In regards to one last shot: She is leaving in five weeks, so I overheard.
 

sceneparade

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well, sounds like you took your shot and she wasn't interested.
Not to worry.
NEXT!

ps - How old are you and how old are the girls at the drug store? Yous say there's a few cute girls working there? Maybe try flirting with another one and see if you can get a jealousy plotline going!
I am not sure, probably about 20-23.

As others have suggested, flirting with others there could get be a bad reputation. So not sure.
 

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Visionist

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I've heard the "I'm leaving soon so there's no point" excuse before. Truth is, she wasn't interested and was too much of a pvssy to say so. If she was interested she wouldn't have cared she was leaving soon, hell it would have made her more enthusiastic to hang out with me lmao.
 

samspade

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So, carry on as before I knew her? i.e. not let her matter and move on to the next? The reason I asked was because other posts I read stated that it is about time management. You don't let a girl waste your time. You cut your losses and move on.
Yes, live your life without worrying about it. It's not a strategy but just a state of mind (and good time management). Just because she turned you down is no reason to shun her. If she says hi again some time, say hi back, if you want. It's up to you to decide what's a waste of your time though.
 

oc16

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LOL I go there EVERYDAY (mon-fri) as it is the local shop to where I work. Hence I buy lunch there. Before I went there, however, I did go to the bakery, which I stopped because it was close due to the lockdown. So I could start going there instead.

In regards to one last shot: She is leaving in five weeks, so I overheard.
Just curious, where are you located?
 

Lookatu

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You already asked her out directly and got rejected. Why haven't you moved on and why are you so hung up on this gal?
Who cares what she thinks? Just go about your business and buy groceries or lunch just like you were doing before this whole thing started.
You have way too much investment in her, even after a rejection and inaction. Move on already...
 
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