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Completely f*cked up with hot girl

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Don Juan
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Last week I went to the supermarket, and whilst lining up, a young worker made eye contact and smiled at me - but I didn't respond/initiate.

On my second visit, again I was in the line, when I was checking out a hot girl and noticed out the corner of my eye the same worker looking round and checking me out. A few seconds later she turned round towards me and asked her friend - who happened to be behind me - how she was getting on (i.e. stacking the shelf). It seemed odd.

By the third visit, I spoke to her and asked her for something, to which she pointed behind me to where the item was. As I turned round, she was smiling, in a way where her face had lighten up but she was trying to hide her smile by suppressing it.

The next day, as she saw me she made eye contact and said hello, so I said hello back.

Then the following day - and here may have been one way where I went wrong - I was walking towards her and made eye contact, when she looked back and held eye contact, probably for around five seconds. As I got closer to her I turned away and went to pay for my groceries. She immediately came to the staff's self-service checkout terminal, but immediately - and to me, deliberately - turned her back to me.

On my next visit, I walked past her and she walked past me, but made eye contact and immediately looked away and straight ahead - in my opinion ignoring me on purpose. At this point I didn't let it bother me and carried on as usual.

The next day, I was at the self-checkout when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, she was staring at me. I looked and - again- she made and held eye contact. We maintained it for - again - five seconds, before I smiled and looked away to scan my groceries.

So, I came in the following day and I went to pick up a sandwich for my lunch. She was there re-stocking them, when she pointed to the sandwiches I liked. At this point she initiated conversation and asked me if I was a vegetarian. We got into a conversation where she told me she only ate fish and blah blah blah. This was my opportunity to ask her out, but didn't. I think this was another mistake.

Then, Yesterday and today she said hello, but seemed more distant - didn't really engage. I was making the effort. So I pulled back and made a bee-line for leaving.

As she has pulled back, my next move is to give her space and not chase. Is this the right move? It may have been the reason why she initiated the conversation - because I was indifferent and acted like she wasn't there. Or she could be testing me. Any advice on my next moves would be great - and opinions on where I went wrong.
 

Visionist

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You frequent this place a lot it seems. Familiarity breeds contempt. Women lose interest quickly.

Invite her out or forget about it. Should have done so the first time you caught her hiding a smile.
 

In2theGame

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Last week I went to the supermarket, and whilst lining up, a young worker made eye contact and smiled at me - but I didn't respond/initiate.

On my second visit
, again I was in the line, when I was checking out a hot girl and noticed out the corner of my eye the same worker looking round and checking me out. A few seconds later she turned round towards me and asked her friend - who happened to be behind me - how she was getting on (i.e. stacking the shelf). It seemed odd.

By the third visit, I spoke to her and asked her for something, to which she pointed behind me to where the item was. As I turned round, she was smiling, in a way where her face had lighten up but she was trying to hide her smile by suppressing it.

The next day, as she saw me she made eye contact and said hello, so I said hello back.

Then the following day - and here may have been one way where I went wrong - I was walking towards her and made eye contact, when she looked back and held eye contact, probably for around five seconds. As I got closer to her I turned away and went to pay for my groceries. She immediately came to the staff's self-service checkout terminal, but immediately - and to me, deliberately - turned her back to me.

On my next visit, I walked past her and she walked past me, but made eye contact and immediately looked away and straight ahead - in my opinion ignoring me on purpose. At this point I didn't let it bother me and carried on as usual.

The next day, I was at the self-checkout when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, she was staring at me. I looked and - again- she made and held eye contact. We maintained it for - again - five seconds, before I smiled and looked away to scan my groceries.

So, I came in the following day and I went to pick up a sandwich for my lunch. She was there re-stocking them, when she pointed to the sandwiches I liked. At this point she initiated conversation and asked me if I was a vegetarian. We got into a conversation where she told me she only ate fish and blah blah blah. This was my opportunity to ask her out, but didn't. I think this was another mistake.

Then, Yesterday and today she said hello, but seemed more distant - didn't really engage. I was making the effort. So I pulled back and made a bee-line for leaving.

As she has pulled back, my next move is to give her space and not chase. Is this the right move? It may have been the reason why she initiated the conversation - because I was indifferent and acted like she wasn't there. Or she could be testing me. Any advice on my next moves would be great - and opinions on where I went wrong.
Look at my bold/underlined highlights......Anyone see the problem here? This is why you need to be bold and straight up with Women. Women love bold Men. From day one you should have went up to her and talked to her and make your interest known. The reason she's pulling back is because in her mind, you arent Man enough to tell her you want her so her interest is fading like a candle in the wind.

How do I know this? because I've made the same mistakes when I was much younger and Women have actually asked me themselves "Why didnt you come up to me before?" - Lesson learned is dont waste time. Be direct and tell that Woman you desire her.
 

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sceneparade

Don Juan
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The next time I see her, should I just be direct and say 'you are hot. I want to take you out. When are you available' or words to that effect?

If so, any advice of the approach and what to say?

At least if I am direct, I find out one way or the other. Either she is interested or not. But I can move on to the next.
 

backseatjuan

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The next time I see her, should I just be direct and say 'you are hot. I want to take you out. When are you available'
Fck no. You gotta feel the situation first. Before you ask her out there should be some flirting back and forth, some light fun. As far as you know, you might have misinterpreted her looking at you, she might have been looking at the can of beans behind you the first time, and at the can of beer behind you the 2nd time. Ask her out about some product, 'hey where is yogurt' 2nd isle, 'oh I can't find it I've been there, could you show it to me', ok let's go, oh here it is, 'what about the sausage', 3rd isle, show it to me. 'You seem to know where all the stuff is around here, when do you get off work, let's grab a drink'.
If in fact she seems receptive up to that point.
 

HyenaPrince

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The next time I see her, should I just be direct and say 'you are hot. I want to take you out. When are you available' or words to that effect?

If so, any advice of the approach and what to say?

At least if I am direct, I find out one way or the other. Either she is interested or not. But I can move on to the next.
Don't tell her she's hot. Just ask her to join you for lunch or dinner. Make it seem like it's just a casual encounter for you and you just asked her out because she happened to be there.

She has to perceive you as way out of her league; as if you're doing her a favor.
 

sceneparade

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Don't tell her she's hot. Just ask her to join you for lunch or dinner. Make it seem like it's just a casual encounter for you and you just asked her out because she happened to be there.

She has to perceive you as way out of her league; as if you're doing her a favor.
Yes, you are right. I did compliment her on a feature I like about her. She responded 'aww, than you. Everyone says that. Blah blah blah. I think this had the negative effect where she pulled back. It shows ass kissing.
 

samspade

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The next time I see her, should I just be direct and say 'you are hot. I want to take you out. When are you available' or words to that effect?

If so, any advice of the approach and what to say?

At least if I am direct, I find out one way or the other. Either she is interested or not. But I can move on to the next.
Normally I don't recommend meal dates, but since you get your sandwich there for lunch, you could see if she'll join you. Is there a patio or deli space? But don't tell her she's hot. Re-engage in light conversation, keep it brief, and just say "you seem cool, I'd like to get together with you outside of this place some time." And get her number, IG, snap, whatever.
 

sceneparade

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Normally I don't recommend meal dates, but since you get your sandwich there for lunch, you could see if she'll join you. Is there a patio or deli space? But don't tell her she's hot. Re-engage in light conversation, keep it brief, and just say "you seem cool, I'd like to get together with you outside of this place some time." And get her number, IG, snap, whatever.
Unfortunately no, it is a bog supermarket. Any suggestions?
 

HyenaPrince

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Unfortunately no, it is a bog supermarket. Any suggestions?
Do something you enjoy. Doesn't matter if it's adventurous or boring. Her interest level seems to be high anyway. If you love eating pizza and know a solid place, take her there. It's important that you can relax and feel like home, when you pick a spot for a date.

When you're relaxed, you're confident. Then she'll really think "Why is this f*cking guy so relaxed? Am I a joke to him?! Actually, it's hot"
Besides, having a belly full of pizza feels damn good.

So you see, you have to pick a spot you're comfortable with. Make it about you, not about her. She'll feel it and then enjoy it.
 

3agle 3yes

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Most women perceive value when a man starts out with low commitment. Yes, telling her “she’s hot” is the wrong approach but it’s important you understand why. If you commit too much to a woman too soon, she will see you as someone who is courting her, which means you want something from her. Think of a salesman who’s trying to hard sell a product to you, the normal response is to pull away...even if it’s something you want.

Be friendly and funny with her and get her number for social (rather than sexual) reasons. If I was you, I would try to meet up with her during her lunch break for just 10 to 15 minutes initially and work it up from there. If you can start seeing when she’s not working, then you can move on to being sexual.
 

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In2theGame

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Yes, you are right. I did compliment her on a feature I like about her. She responded 'aww, than you. Everyone says that. Blah blah blah. I think this had the negative effect where she pulled back. It shows ass kissing.
Im curious, what did you say to her?

"aww, thank you. Everyone says that. Blah blah blah" - Whenever a girl says "aww" its not a good sign lol. Thats why im curious as to what you said to her. Also, Don't use the word "Hot", You use that word when she's blowing you and say "You look so hot lookin up at me with those eyes". What you should say is "Hey, I think you're sexy, What's your name?" or switch it up "Hey, Listen... what's your name? Ive been meaning to talk to you. I thought you were sexy. I didnt talk to you before because I didnt want to bother you while you were working" <--- be smooth about it. Don't say it in a robotic way. make a quick convo and cut it by saying "listen i know you're working and everything so I dont want to take up your time at work. Let me get your number and i'll shoot you a text so we can hang out"

See what happens from there. Also, when you tell her you think she's sexy, don't say it in a timid way. Be confident in what you're saying!
 

nicksaiz65

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Im curious, what did you say to her?

"aww, thank you. Everyone says that. Blah blah blah" - Whenever a girl says "aww" its not a good sign lol. Thats why im curious as to what you said to her. Also, Don't use the word "Hot", You use that word when she's blowing you and say "You look so hot lookin up at me with those eyes". What you should say is "Hey, I think you're sexy, What's your name?" or switch it up "Hey, Listen... what's your name? Ive been meaning to talk to you. I thought you were sexy. I didnt talk to you before because I didnt want to bother you while you were working" <--- be smooth about it. Don't say it in a robotic way. make a quick convo and cut it by saying "listen i know you're working and everything so I dont want to take up your time at work. Let me get your number and i'll shoot you a text so we can hang out"

See what happens from there. Also, when you tell her you think she's sexy, don't say it in a timid way. Be confident in what you're saying!
Yup that's a solid direct approach. Have you ever used this technique on cashiers/waitresses or would you call that socially uncalibrated?
 

BackInTheGame78

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Last week I went to the supermarket, and whilst lining up, a young worker made eye contact and smiled at me - but I didn't respond/initiate.

On my second visit, again I was in the line, when I was checking out a hot girl and noticed out the corner of my eye the same worker looking round and checking me out. A few seconds later she turned round towards me and asked her friend - who happened to be behind me - how she was getting on (i.e. stacking the shelf). It seemed odd.

By the third visit, I spoke to her and asked her for something, to which she pointed behind me to where the item was. As I turned round, she was smiling, in a way where her face had lighten up but she was trying to hide her smile by suppressing it.

The next day, as she saw me she made eye contact and said hello, so I said hello back.

Then the following day - and here may have been one way where I went wrong - I was walking towards her and made eye contact, when she looked back and held eye contact, probably for around five seconds. As I got closer to her I turned away and went to pay for my groceries. She immediately came to the staff's self-service checkout terminal, but immediately - and to me, deliberately - turned her back to me.

On my next visit, I walked past her and she walked past me, but made eye contact and immediately looked away and straight ahead - in my opinion ignoring me on purpose. At this point I didn't let it bother me and carried on as usual.

The next day, I was at the self-checkout when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, she was staring at me. I looked and - again- she made and held eye contact. We maintained it for - again - five seconds, before I smiled and looked away to scan my groceries.

So, I came in the following day and I went to pick up a sandwich for my lunch. She was there re-stocking them, when she pointed to the sandwiches I liked. At this point she initiated conversation and asked me if I was a vegetarian. We got into a conversation where she told me she only ate fish and blah blah blah. This was my opportunity to ask her out, but didn't. I think this was another mistake.

Then, Yesterday and today she said hello, but seemed more distant - didn't really engage. I was making the effort. So I pulled back and made a bee-line for leaving.

As she has pulled back, my next move is to give her space and not chase. Is this the right move? It may have been the reason why she initiated the conversation - because I was indifferent and acted like she wasn't there. Or she could be testing me. Any advice on my next moves would be great - and opinions on where I went wrong.
Its very simple. She gave you signs to move the interaction along and you repeatedly failed to do so. In her eyes you are afraid and unmanly and you completely turned her off.

Didn't ask for her number, didn't ask her out, just kept up playing switchfoot with her.
 

Roober

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Too many words for a woman you haven't fvcked...

Ask her out, anything other than a yes is a no
 

sceneparade

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Im curious, what did you say to her?

"aww, thank you. Everyone says that. Blah blah blah" - Whenever a girl says "aww" its not a good sign lol. Thats why im curious as to what you said to her. Also, Don't use the word "Hot", You use that word when she's blowing you and say "You look so hot lookin up at me with those eyes". What you should say is "Hey, I think you're sexy, What's your name?" or switch it up "Hey, Listen... what's your name? Ive been meaning to talk to you. I thought you were sexy. I didnt talk to you before because I didnt want to bother you while you were working" <--- be smooth about it. Don't say it in a robotic way. make a quick convo and cut it by saying "listen i know you're working and everything so I dont want to take up your time at work. Let me get your number and i'll shoot you a text so we can hang out"

See what happens from there. Also, when you tell her you think she's sexy, don't say it in a timid way. Be confident in what you're saying!
Well as we were chatting, I just said what was on my mind. Being next to me I could smell her perfume, which smelt great - so I told her so. Hence, 'aww thank you. people always say that and blah blah.

I agree that 'aww thank you' isn't a great sign. But up to that point she showed me interest and initiated the chatting. Maybe it was attention seeking behaviour on her part? Or maybe playing games?

I have recently seen her, and unlike Monday, she didn't say hi or good morning etc. So I didn't acknowledge her either. I just shopped and that was it.

I have accepted that I am one and done. I think I ****ed up when chatting and telling her her perfume smelt great. But in honesty, in that interaction, whilst I was chatting and she was responding, it was more an effort on my part and she was just responding. Contrast that to the day before, and as stated above, she pointed to my lunch (therefore remembering what I eat) and started talking to ME by asking if I was a vegetarian. And up to that point, she showed interest in me with the eye contact and smiling. So I am convinced it was in that interaction. I probably wasn't direct and assertive enough. I should have asked her out then.

Any suggestions on what I should do next? Because the irony is that, when I was aloof and indifferent to her, she chased me, so to speak (eye contact, trying to hide a smile). when I ****ed up the first time (when she was making eye contact), I accepted I messed up and moved on - by being indifferent and aloof again, giving the impression I didn't know she was there (in a genuine way, not intentional).
 
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