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childhood effects on the present


Master Don Juan
Jun 26, 2015
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New York, USA
i've had a lot on my mind lately. i've been thinking about what could've, should've been. i've been thinking maybe if i was raised differently things would be better. this isn't a positive mindset i know, but from time to time, i reminisce.

i used to play youth league football from 4th grade to 6th grade. i was a beast on defense. i fell in love with the game. after my mom got sick in 6th grade, she couldn't take me to practice anymore.

we were finally allowed to play sports for the school in 7th grade. i tried out for football. the first day was way too intense for me. i couldn't keep up with the others. i was fat. i was always last on the line. i was so sore the next day that i didn't come to practice. tryouts felt impossible. just like that, i missed my chance at the football team.

later that year, i tried out for basketball. same thing happened. i was out of shape, barely athletic. i almost passed out on the gym floor. i was getting dizzy. i stuck with basketball tryouts the entire week though. at the end of the week, i looked for my name on the wall by the gym. did i make the team? no.
i didn't make the basketball team in 10th grade either.

i wanted to play sports so badly. i wonder how things would've been. maybe i would've been popular in high school, maybe i would've stopped being shy, and had more fun with my peers.

i wish i found my love for music earlier.
i didn't start rapping until 1 year ago, when my future was basically decided already. i'm going to college for nursing now. this is how things are gonna be, i guess. i wish i was a natural born leader. i wish i grabbed the world by the balls when i was younger. i wish i understood the things i know nowadays.

i'm trying to be alpha. i want to be a man. the best man i can be, loving life. right now, i'm not at that point. not at all.

all this makes me wonder, what does your childhood have to do with the present? does it determine your personality? your status? this post might seem pointless but it's been on my mind lately. gotta let it out.

my upbringing was quite beta if you ask me. i'm trying to make something for myself. i understand so much more about life now.


Master Don Juan
Mar 19, 2008
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I won't try to go deep here, I have studied a lot of psychology and I can see where you are coming from.

Yes, many things are predetermined by our childhood and upbringing but many things can change! People DO change if they really want to.

Personality? You can change it.
Status? You can change it.

It's all about you loving yourself first of all and trying to figure out what's best for you. The age you are showing is 17! If that's really your age, you are REALLY REALLY young to believe that you can't change your life to the path you want it to be.

Yes, sports now, at least professionally might be impossible to go for, but everything else you talked about ARE actually doable! You can get along with your peers, you can have many women, you can do A LOT of staff sport people do!

Thing is, how bad do you want it? I know it's hard but you have to come to a point that you need to realise and say to yourself "No more whining, from now on I'm gonna DO something about it, I'm gonna take ACTION"

Discover what pleases you NOW and pursuit it! Is it a woman? a sport? a hobby? Music like you said? Who said you can't follow them? I think your problem is in your mind, not your body.


Aug 19, 2013
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Eye of the storm
I still remember my childhood and past in general , all the way from the best to the worst. Having it good today is work, it doesn't happen by itself. Several things went bad for me that could have ended well had I chosen and acted differently, it's the regrets. I choose and act differently today because I don't want to repeat the horrors of the past. I cannot forget, if I did I would be none the wiser today. Remembering the past tells me what I like and don't like, what leads to good things and bad things. It's what I have learned, it's my experience and it's certainty.

It's never too late, but you'll have to work for it. Don't live an unfulfilling life, you'll just have even more regrets later on. You gotta stop now and turn around, don't continue in a track that you know you will regret. Haven't you had enough of that?


Senior Don Juan
Jun 14, 2015
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amazingswayze said:
i wish i grabbed the world by the balls when i was younger. i wish i understood the things i know nowadays.
you wish you grabbed the world by the balls when you were 12? you could barely talk.

no. I wish i grabbed the world by the balls when I was younger. You? you ARE "younger"...

so start grabbing your balls. or ummm, you know what i mean.


Master Don Juan
Jun 14, 2014
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Right behind you
Ya I get those thoughts too every once in a while. But I can't help but realize that had I not have to go thru all the bs I did, I would not be willing to improve myself or even think that there is ANYTHING wrong with me. All of those moments lead me to reevaluate myself and strive to fix all of the internal issue that I have. I still haven't fixed myself completely yet. But I'm getting there. I won't let myself make the mistake of not learning from my other mistakes. That is the biggest mistake. It's just like that with you. Had you made the team you would have been better off for a little longer (high school, maybe college), but you wouldn't improve yourself into the BEST possible version of yourself like how you are trying to become right now. And you would probably be worse off in your life later on.

Rest assured, you figured this stuff out before college. It's people like you who discover this stuff at a young age who are destined for greatness. You just need to focus and keep on getting stronger and more powerful, both physically and mentally. Keep working hard on what you want to do and realize that no one is gonna give life to you on a silver platter, and that YOU need to work hard on yourself for the success to occur.


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Master Don Juan
Jan 4, 2012
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