Breadcrumbing and attention-seeking

Mauser96

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How do you handle it? I have been quite frustrated lately with this. Slow returning texts, etc. My thoughts are it is low interest or game playing

As frustrating as it is, the only solution I have come up with is to tell them "Give me call when you are free to get together"

and then completely stop contacting them. If they reach out? Great. If they don't, they had low interest and now one source of their attention has been removed, and I stop wasting my time. I think as men, (me anyways) I get too focused on a woman and getting her out on a date.

I think many of us put having a woman/sex/relationship as too high of a priority in our life. For most, it is #1. It should be far further down the list,, behind career, financial success and stability, family.


Thoughts?
 
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LARaiders85

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You already know the answer, you are just frustrated that it doesn't seem like things are ever getting that much better.
 

BJP1991

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You already know the answer, you are just frustrated that it doesn't seem like things are ever getting that much better.
In the past week, I’ve come to terms with this myself. Got ghosted by two girls I went on decent first dates with that had kino/kissing.

Makes me wonder if I should take a short term break. Maybe 2-3 weeks and really only dig into myself and focus on anything other than trying to get dates with women.
 

BJP1991

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think as men, (me anyways) I get too focused on a woman and getting her out on a date.

I think many of us put having a woman/sex/relationship as too high of a priority in our life. For most, it is #1. It should be far further down the list,, behind career, financial success and stability, family.


Thoughts?
I have found myself feeling this way over the last 2 months or so. I think we inadvertently put too much value on the outcome of dating a specific woman (or just women in general) and determine our value based off those interactions and the potential for future dates/hookups/LTR/whatever we want.

For me, this is especially common when you have women either breadcrumbing/game playing or low-interest, it seems to make it even more of a challenge to deal with, until you get over that little “hump” of giving a shyt about them.

If anyone else has experienced this, I’d love to hear some feedback on it and how you’ve navigated through it/learned from it or improved.
 
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Dash Riprock

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How do you handle it? I have been quite frustrated lately with this. Slow returning texts, etc. My thoughts are it is low interest or game playing

As frustrating as it is, the only solution I have come up with is to tell them "Give me call when you are free to get together"

and then completely stop contacting them.
If they reach out? Great. If they don't, they had low interest and I stop wasting my time and now one source of their attention has been removed. I think as men, (me anyways) I get too focused on a woman and getting her out on a date.

I think many of us put having a woman/sex/relationship as too high of a priority in our life. For most, it is #1. It should be far further down the list,, behind career, financial success and stability, family.



Thoughts?
This is exactly the advice I would give so you're spot-on here.

MOST women do have multiple AFC's chasing them so you have to take a number. If she's slow to reply, offer her a date and go silent or cut her and move on. There are women that will show higher interest.

It's like any sales position: You have to pour a lot into the top of the funnel to have a few good leads and "meetings" come trickling out the bottom. This is life.

Probably my Number One piece of advice is you just cannot take ANY woman seriously and to always put your GOALS #1. 95% of men look at me with a blank, confused look when I tell them this.

To your point, most men place chasing (not pursuing) women as their number one objective in life. Then, they look back 10-15 years later at the man they used to be; now a shell of that man -- fat, bald, no game, no prospects, and most likely ass raped in court if married, looking for a second chance at life that's just not there.

Focus on you, bud.

Good luck.

~Dash~
 

stringpuller

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How do you handle it? I have been quite frustrated lately with this. Slow returning texts, etc. My thoughts are it is low interest or game playing

As frustrating as it is, the only solution I have come up with is to tell them "Give me call when you are free to get together"
Slow texting or girls ghosting the phone is their #1 shyt test in the modern era. Got to wait them out regardless if you reply with the above. Depends on the situation.
 

dude99

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How do you handle it? I have been quite frustrated lately with this. Slow returning texts, etc. My thoughts are it is low interest or game playing

As frustrating as it is, the only solution I have come up with is to tell them "Give me call when you are free to get together"

and then completely stop contacting them. If they reach out? Great. If they don't, they had low interest and now one source of their attention has been removed, and I stop wasting my time. I think as men, (me anyways) I get too focused on a woman and getting her out on a date.

I think many of us put having a woman/sex/relationship as too high of a priority in our life. For most, it is #1. It should be far further down the list,, behind career, financial success and stability, family.


Thoughts?
"then completely stop contacting them."
This right here.

Girls love to play games because it gives them attention and validation.

Attention is our currency. Spend it wisely.

When girls find themselves lonely on a friday night, when guys stop liking their IG posts, when they stop trying to set dates with flakey tinder AW's girls will then and only then stop playing games.
 
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Glassguy

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As frustrating as it is, the only solution I have come up with is to tell them "Give me call when you are free to get together"
I would never use this line. Never.....not once have I yielded ANY results from it. If looking for a response from a woman its a poor choice. If you dont care if you ever hear from her again, keep using it.

Lets back up and punt first- A woman cant get under your skin unless you allow it. Period. If you have multiple options you simply withdraw any and all attention asap. Easy as that. If you never hear from her again, who tf cares if you have 4 more women. Another bonus of having a rotation.

So back to how to handle some woman who could possibly be jerking your chain for attention:

Her: blah blah blah
Me: So I am going to such and such place Tuesday at 8pm. You should join for a drink and we can pick the convo back up then
Her: I am really busy, let me check my schedule, we'll see (anything but a see you there)
Me: Yeah thats the only time I have open this week as I have other engagements all week. The next time I can get free I will let you know if I want to try to get together again sometime later on.

At this point they normally only say "OK" or they might counter offer. If they just say OK, leave it alone. Delete her message and move on. You will only hear from her if she reaches back out (which she will if there was interest on her part).

Let me break this down for you:

"Give me a call when you're free to get together": You are giving the woman all control. You are saying "I will jump through some hoops you just tell me when to start jumping". Not a good idea. You show no other options so why should she reach back out? If other women dont want you, why should she?

"The next time I can get free I will let you know if I want to try to get together again sometime later on": You are telling her that YOU have control and are unphased by her lack of decision making. She will also notice that you gave her ONE TIME SPOT because you have OTHER PEOPLE that you are meeting up with (for whatever reason...none of her business). Why are you that busy? Who are you meeting up with? How dare you for not giving me.....the woman.....control of this situation of when to meet up! (and thats what you want her thinking btw as it increases her interest/attraction).
At that point I sit back. If she has attraction for me, she will reach back out soon.

I have had most, not all, but most women reach back out. And the ones that did reached out pretty d@mn quick. None of them tried to counter offer, they all agreed to the time I told them I could meet.

Glassguy is a busy man. If you stepped into my shoes for 24 hours you would realize what I am talking about. Not just with women, but life in general is busy. I have shyte to do besides negotiating a date offer. Take it or leave it. I told you when I am free and if I dont hear back from you I will be dust in the wind.

Too many of you guys dont act like MEN. You act like CHUMPS. CHUMPS will jump through hoops. CHUMPS will change their schedule around for a woman to fit in. MEN give the woman an offer. MEN have a strong frame.

Boys I am about to start preaching here............

Get out of your CHUMP frame and step into a MANLY frame. Women do not want a CHUMP that nobody else wants. They want a MAN they have to invest in.

Want to know why I dont budge when it comes to inviting a woman out for a drink at X at Y time on Z day? Because I have a rotation and I need to see those chicks here and there too.

The old saying "Fake it till you make it" is total BS. A woman will see right through that if you are a CHUMP. However, if you are a MAN.....and a MAN with options, they will CHASE you.
 

AttackFormation

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How do you handle it? I have been quite frustrated lately with this. Slow returning texts, etc. My thoughts are it is low interest or game playing

As frustrating as it is, the only solution I have come up with is to tell them "Give me call when you are free to get together"

and then completely stop contacting them. If they reach out? Great. If they don't, they had low interest and now one source of their attention has been removed, and I stop wasting my time. I think as men, (me anyways) I get too focused on a woman and getting her out on a date.

I think many of us put having a woman/sex/relationship as too high of a priority in our life. For most, it is #1. It should be far further down the list,, behind career, financial success and stability, family.


Thoughts?
Attack Formation's flowchart for women (Zero Games Guarantee):

Contact > brief talk for a day or two > ask out
1. Yes > expect flake
- If Flake > delete info
- If No flake > escalate on date > ask out again whenever I feel like it if she doesn't beat me to it > escalate > repeat
2. No/Maybe > reschedule
- If No reschedule > delete info

I can't be breadcrumbed because I play ZERO games. I'm not concerned at all with trying to "make" her interested in me through this line, that timing, or these "tactics". The real game is realizing there IS no fvcking game. I don't care whether she thinks I'm desperate. I simply go for what I want and do what I feel like in a clear route toward a yes or no. You can only be beaten at a game if you play it yourself. If you don't play, you cannot be played, and won't ever feel the need to create this kind of thread.
 
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guru1000

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How you respond to her statement or misaligned response times is the wrong question.

Because:

NOone is on your level.

Now if Noone is on your level, and a girl responds in a manner which does not align with your sovereignty, how do you respond?

You don't. Any behavior that does not align with your sovereignty cannot register in your consciousness, otherwise it would have merit, or even worse, be worthy of a thought, right? To react to her under such a pretense gives her response/action to you power and relevance. And that wouldn't be so nice to You, now would it?

And so your response to her is ... nothing. Nada. No thought or attention given. She becomes irrelevant.

For some of you guys, this may feel foreign. I understand. Never forget this truth: your two MOST important assets are your time and attention. Invest them accordingly--AND remove them unapologetically when the situation merits.
 
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BURT MCQUEEN

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Slow texting or girls ghosting the phone is their #1 shyt test in the modern era. Got to wait them out regardless if you reply with the above. Depends on the situation.
If this happen to me, I will immediately NEXT the girl.

What's the move or strategy you'd use to pass This kind of shyt test?
 
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AttackFormation

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What's the move or strategy you'd use to pass This kind of shyt test?
"Passing a shyt test" is a counterproductive mentality to have in my opinion. There is just behavior you tolerate and behavior you don't tolerate, women you enjoy being with and women you don't enjoy being with, what you want to do and what you don't want to do. You think she's the one testing you, but what's really going on is that you are testing yourself: how much selfrespect do you have? You will be answering that question whether you intend to or not by how much you are willing to play games with her.

Once you achieve a sense of selfrespect, nothing will occur to you as being a "shyt test" anymore at all, let alone will you think about trying to "pass" one. Only guys whose ultimate focus is still pvssy rather than themselves think that "shyt tests" exist and that you should try to "pass" them. Do what you think will please yourself, not her.
 
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sangheilios

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Stuff like this would be something you'd see with girls in high school and maybe Freshman in college. However, nonsense like this you;ll experience with women that are in their mid 20s or even older, as scary as it sounds.

If you have other stuff going on in your life, which you should, and you value your time and energy you'd be better off just cutting it off as soon as you recognize this behavior.

I personally like to call out nonsense like this and say something like "I have a lot going on and don't really have time for this, I MIGHT be open to something casual but nothing more". With this you imply that you are a man that has other priorities and goals in life and that you have recognized this female as worth nothing more than just a vagina, which at the end of the day is all they really are. Women that offer you respect and common courtesy, aka normal respectable women, don't do stuff like this so you'll never be scaring off a quality female.
 

Trump

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How do you handle it?
What do you mean how do you handle it?

You don’t “handle” anything. You move on with your life and be great.

I have been quite frustrated lately with this. Slow returning texts, etc. My thoughts are it is low interest or game playing

As frustrating as it is, the only solution I have come up with is to tell them "Give me call when you are free to get together"
Come on bro, how long have you been here? What kind of statement is that?

You are telling her “hey, when you done having sex with the rich 6’1 guys, give me a call if you want to go Starbucks and complain how they are not calling you back.”

It’s seems like you guys read the advice and it goes in one ear and out the other.

and then completely stop contacting them. If they reach out? Great. If they don't, they had low interest and now one source of their attention has been removed, and I stop wasting my time. I think as men, (me anyways) I get too focused on a woman and getting her out on a date.

I think many of us put having a woman/sex/relationship as too high of a priority in our life. For most, it is #1. It should be far further down the list,, behind career, financial success and stability, family.

Thoughts?
Why am I getting the feeling a lot of these recent posts are trolling.
 

stormrider

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I think many of us put having a woman/sex/relationship as too high of a priority in our life. For most, it is #1. It should be far further down the list,, behind career, financial success and stability, family.


Thoughts?

I noticed you mentioned everything except "social life where you have access to women." Your social life is incomplete, that's why you have these problems. Women date. It's a hobby for them. Men network, cultivate social circles, and dominate their social environments. Men procure access to females. Chances are, you don't belong in any social environments where attractive women exist.

When I used to work with hot females, I came to a profound realization. These woman would talk about guys they met on tinder, guys buying them dinners, prospects making 6 figures with potential, etc. But here's the thing - I already slept with these women. Even the best game players out in the field, even the highest value guys meeting these women in the SMV marketplace were getting my sloppy seconds.

A woman hooks up with men in her immediate social environments first. The rest just make up her ego-validation ecosystem. Here's how a woman's ecosystem works:

1) The most dominant guy in her social environment gets first dibs
2) Every other dominant guy in her social environment gets some action
3) Even borderline dominant guys get some action
4) Guys out in the SMV marketplace
5) guys on OLD

This is why you get bread crumbs. These women have lives. They are already spinning plates long before you showed up. You are the the 9th planet in her solar system. You are Pluto at best, but most likely just a passing comet. That's why you get bread crumbs.

Even the best guys with the best game are getting leftovers. It's worse if these guys think they are special and fall for the relationship frame. The only reason why she is single is because every dominant guy in her immediate social environment already pumped and dumped her and passed her up.

This is the problem with meat market game. You don't know how intolerable, needy, and used up she really is. She's already been passed around. But in the clubs she can play "brand new." This is also why pursuing them/supplicating doesn't work. They know they are actually on the low end of the totem pole in their own social circles and rationalize you must be a loser to not see it.

This is what it looks like from the other side of the fence. You guys get bread crumbs because you are in last place in the totem pole in her ecosystem. And even the best amongst you - you are getting slopping seconds from a woman that noone in her immediate circles wants a relationship with.

This is what happens when you don't have a social life where you have access to women. You don't know what these women's true value looks like and you end of over-valuing them or committing to them when noone else wants to. Your calibration gets completely thrown off.

Women are naturally social creatures. They have access to guys without ever having to show up in the SMV marketplace or OLD. You have to ask yourself "Why is she in the SMV marketplace looking for attention? Why is she available on OLD?" Could it be every guy in her circles already used her up?
 
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sangheilios

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I noticed you mentioned everything except "social life where you have access to women." Your social life is incomplete, that's why you have these problems. Women date. It's a hobby for them. Men network, cultivate social circles, and dominate their social environments. Men procure access to females. Chances are, you don't belong in any social environments where attractive women exist.

When I used to work with hot females, I came to profound realization. These woman would talk about guys they met on tinder, guys buying them dinners, prospects making 6 figures with potential, etc. But here's the thing - I already slept with these women. Even the best game players out in the field, even the highest value guys meeting these women in the SMV marketplace were getting my sloppy seconds.

Women hook up with men in their immediate social environments first. The rest just make up her ego-validation ecosystem. Here's how a woman's ecosystem works:

1) The most dominant guy in her social environment gets first dibs
2) Every other dominant guy in her social environment
3) Even borderline dominant guys get some action
4) Guys out in the SMV marketplace
5) guys on OLD

This is why you get bread crumbs. These women have lives. They are already spinning plates long before you showed up. You are the the 9th planet in her solar system. You are Pluto. That's why you get bread crumbs.

Even the best guys with the best game are getting leftovers. It's worse if these guys think they are special and fall for the relationship frame. The only reason why she is single because every dominant guy in her immediate social environment already pumped and dumped her.

This is the problem with meat market game. You don't know how intolerable, needy, and used up she really is. She's already been passed around. But in the clubs she can play "brand new." This is also why pursuing them/supplicating doesn't work. They know they are actually on the low end of the totem pole in their own social circles and rationalize you must be a loser to not see it.

This is what it looks like from the other side of the fence. You guys get bread crumbs because you are in last place in the totem pole in her ecosystem. And even the best amongst you - you are getting slopping seconds from a woman that noone in her immediate circles wants a relationship with.

This is what happens when you don't have a social life where you have access to women. You don't know what these women's true value looks like and you end of over-valuing them or committing to them when noone else wants to. Your calibration gets completely thrown off.

Women are naturally social creatures. They have access to guys without ever having to show up in the SMV marketplace or OLD. You have to ask yourself "Why is she in the SMV marketplace looking for attention? Why is she available on OLD?" Could it be every guy in her circles already used her up?
This is the best post I've read by you. Most of the time you harp on social circle and all that, but here you actually break down why it is so important. Attractive and high quality respectable women do not need to use online dating sites to meet men. Nor do they need to meet random strangers at the bar with whom they'd go out with. These women are either already in a relationship or meeting men in environments where they can actually get to know one another.

When you meet random women you are going to place her as much higher than she truly is, as in all likelihood she is just some left over trash. Women acquire validation through the attention they get from other people, including men, so naturally when some random guy comes along this makes her feel good about herself. Now imagine when she has a dozen guys blowing up her phone asking for dates, she is at this point like a mini celebrity. Men will never ever experience something like this, but accepting it for what it is will allow you to just rid yourself of these women so you can focus on better things in your life.

On a side note, I feel that social media has taken this relatively natural behavior and made it completely out of control.
 
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