Boundary Implementation

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
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#41
guru1000 said:
Exclusivity is her benefit; not yours. Accordingly, never initiate discussion of exclusivity or boundaries relating to exclusive relations.
Looking at the underlined part, you seem to imply that there are two types of boundaries:

1. "normal" boundaries, which you could/should discuss or implement in the phase BEFORE exclusivity.
2. "exclusivity" boundaries, which you could/should only discuss and implement when she brings up exclusivity.

Is my assumption correct?
 

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#42
guru1000 said:
Dasein: Indoctrinated with DJ wisdom, I see. I like how you introduce your boundaries with "well, what does that mean, exactly, to you?" Excellent!

Malcontent: Field tested a myriad times, as well as on my wife who I met at 22 yos, HB 9.

Samspade: We have to hang out one day; I live in Brooklyn.

Peaks&Valleys: Thank you for some witty and ostensible solid counterpoints. Theories cannot be tested unless opposed. Let’s see if I can debunk your four rebuttals:

Yes; perhaps boundary implementation would reduce the Hollywood divorce rate of 80% down to societal 60%.

How would she understand what undermines relations, if a lifetime of beta conditioning has indoctrinated her with unacceptable standards of play? We are not referring to ubiquitous capital offenses such as cheating.

Diametrically, then, if she occasionally doesn’t mind my going out with my friends, I should leave her?

Let’s look at facts, not Manosphere theory. In state and federal prisons, 113,000 were women offenders in 2010 compared to 1,500,000 male inmates. So male outnumber women 13:1 in breaking societal rules, but women are incapable of following relational boundaries? Gotcha!
The mistake hollywood men make often is to marry someone just as famous, a fellow actress. Better to marry a hot 'commoner' then there would be no 80% divorce rate.
 

guru1000

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#43
Die Hard said:
Looking at the underlined part, you seem to imply that there are two types of boundaries:

1. "normal" boundaries, which you could/should discuss or implement in the phase BEFORE exclusivity.
2. "exclusivity" boundaries, which you could/should only discuss and implement when she brings up exclusivity.

Is my assumption correct?
The best way to gauge the efficacy of boundary implementation is analyzing the trade-off. You are delineating your “rules” of play, but what value does she receive in exchange?

Exclusivity boundary (EB): Her exclusivity request is an appeal to abdicate your harem. In return, she will acquiesce to your exclusive boundaries.

Post-exclusivity boundary (PEB): With PEBs, Condition One, preferably both dependent upon the nature of the request, must be present: (1) She holds high IL, thus your not walking away is the value exchanged; and (2) You provide something of equal or greater value, if a tall request (i.e., a trip, a cruise, a night out, etc.)

Plate boundary (PB): I have used PBs successfully regarding lateness, inflexibility, disrespectful tone, and cease/desist the constant requests for exclusivity. For effective PB implementation, the plate must hold high IL. The value of her acquiescence is ensconcing her position in your harem. Be mindful not to impose EBs on plates, as such an act may be construed as an appeal to exclusivity.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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#44
Guru said:
Re: Subtleties

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anti-Dump
You should be free as a bird, flapping around, singing, full of joy with life. Women want to trap the bird and throw it in a cage (cage = commitment). When birds try to fly into the cage, wouldn't you think something is wrong with that bird? After all, who wants a bird that WANTS to be in the cage? No, women want the birds that are FREE, WILD, and BEAUTIFUL. They want A GOOD CATCH. Good Catches do not fly into cages. Only wounded or needy birds do.
Damaged birds fly into cages. Why? Men want sex; women want commitment. Exclusivity is her benefit; not yours. Accordingly, never initiate discussion of exclusivity or boundaries relating to exclusive relations.

If she requests exclusivity, that’s a tall order: She is asking you to sacrifice your harem. What exchange of value would merit compliance to such a demand … your boundaries.
Doesn't Anti-Dump talk about about BUYING a relationship vs. BUILDING one?

What does he mean by BUYING a relationship?

Doesn't he mean you should agree to go into a relationship with a women while taking her AS IS.... Which means, you shouldn't go into one expecting her to change?

"well, I'm asking her to change BEFORE we go exclusive. That's my Price!"

For her to change what she WANTS to do, in order to be with you? Well, sorry to say, I feel that's under the BUILDING a relationship category.

Guru said:
Theories cannot be tested unless opposed.
FYI: I've never set boundaries in my 37 years, and it's worked out just fine so far ;) So, in that sense, this isn't a theory for me. It's not something I'm saying that SHOULD work. It's not: "Well, this is how my perfect relationship UTOPIA would be." No, I get chicks on my nuts by NOT setting boundaries. By not giving a fvck what do or they don't do. OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE. If they pass MY tests, and prove their worth to me, then I'll consider making them my GF, but only then.
 

guru1000

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#45
Peaks&Valleys said:
Doesn't Anti-Dump talk about about BUYING a relationship vs. BUILDING one?
Couple years ago, I bought a property. It was an incredibly built Village Russet-brick house located on the water; it also was spacious at 4000 sq. ft., and in an ideal neighborhood. The house possessed all the baseline, non-negotiable attributes that I coveted. Notwithstanding this great “catch,” it wasn’t perfect. I needed to effect subtle changes: I updated the bathrooms and kitchen with European style, granite/marble, installed new cherry wood hard floors, baseboards, and furnishings. At completion, the house was “perfect,” at least in accordance with my standards.

Granted I would not have effected “subtle” changes if the house were devoid of my non-negotiable attributes, specifically exterior aesthetic appeal, size, and location. I also knew after actively looking 7-8 years and maybe 100 houses later that a house of aesthetic appeal, size, and location already pre-finished with cherry wood floors as well as kitchen/bathroom immersed in European-style decorum with granite/marble, all in accordance with my standards, did not exist. I would not find the “perfect” house, but I can buy one with the baseline, non-negotiable characteristics I desired and contour the incidentals to make it “perfect.”

You will never find the “perfect” girl. That’s another myth propagated by AFCs to validate their scarcity. But you can definitely find a compatible contender, and implement boundaries to condition the incidentals.
 

zekko

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#46
Peaks&Valleys said:
Doesn't Anti-Dump talk about about BUYING a relationship vs. BUILDING one?
I find that some women are able to buy into your frame and your point of view, and some are not. When you're talking about friends of the opposite sex, society tells them that they should have them. Some women can see that spending time with opposite sex friends can cause trouble in a relationship, but some of them think that MEN insist on having them, so that becomes part of their belief system. Some of them are quite relieved to change that opinion, and many of them are actually returning to what they originally believed in the first place, but society had changed.

I have a (male) friend for instance, who insists on having female friends. Or as he puts it, "I don't like being told who I can see". This habit has caused him some problems from time to time in his relationships, but he's always lived a fairly reckless lifestyle.
 
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