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Boundaries.. The Definitive Answer?

jurry

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Danger said:
I don't see how the boundary crew makes it complicated.

It's very simple. No hanging with ex's. If she knows you do not like it, but she does it anyways.....just dump her.
Thats the problem, he isnt dumping her. He would have already done so, now he is showing his insecurity by trying to keep her with childish threats "if you do that then ill do it too!".

Presumably in the four months they were dating he already knew about this guy. Why would he agree to be exclusive if he wasnt comfortable with what she is doing? If she was highly interested in him she would drop the other guy ON HER OWN because she knows it bothers him.

I agree with your approach in theory and maybe it works for you, but many men are using the boundaries to control and keep the girl out of desperation, not out of self-respect. World of difference there..
 

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zekko

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jurry said:
Thats the problem, he isnt dumping her. He would have already done so, now he is showing his insecurity by trying to keep her with childish threats "if you do that then ill do it too!".
This is why I've always favored the idea of agreeing that such activities are out of bounds to begin with, rather than playing games with it. Like if she goes out with some guy, then you go out with some chick to show her how it feels. Rainman's threat sounds empty, anyway. And besides, who wants to go hang out with female friends? Guys want to hang out with girls they can get sexually involved with.

Obviously, you have to find a girl who is sincerely willing to avoid such activities, and if she doesn't fit that profile, then she has to go.
 

Danger

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You are right jury, and zekko nails it.

The inability to properly set boundaries is not a reason to dismiss them. The same argument goes for negs, takeaways, game, NC, etc,...

The list is endless on how people misuse every tool in their arsenal.

The issue now is that he is not dumping her. The issue before is that boundaries were not implemented properly. Women LOVE strength and dominance. Give her what she loves right in the beginning, YOUR TERMS, given from a position of strength.
 

Rainman4707

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Well I wasn't bothered when I was just dating her, but now she's mine I dont like her sitting next to some dude in the pictures.

I do trust her. I think she loves me so lets see what she does. I'm not doing it out of desperation...I'm just letting her know that shes my girl now, so I dont like her sitting in the pictures with some other man.

Lets see what develops Zekko.
 

mangotot

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Interesting post. The takeaway is, people given the opportunity will take the pi$$. That is applicable to men as well as women.
 
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Ashton

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Even animals set up boundaries, touch a dog incorrectly and it growls, setting boundaries.

So if it bite you, it's your fault not the dog's, so I'm in for setting boundaries.
 
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