Master Don Juan
- Mar 30, 2019
- Reaction score
She dumped you long before she actually dumped you.Hello brothers,
Feeling down and would like some support and thoughts.
Recently a main I had been nested up with in a 7 months LTR dumped me because I fooled around with another chick at a party on a drunken night. (I'm a DJ so at most times I'm at parties and that night drinks/things mixed, it got wild). Felt guilty about it, so met up with her a few days after break up and tried to talk it out. She wanted me to reconcile with her again and fix things. I didnt want to lose her, so I agreed to reconcile. But for a week, I experienced real hell. She frequently blew up and showed me the true wrath of a woman. Picked fights about everything and focused on every possible transgression from past, present to even future. Disregarded any other commitment and things I have ever done. She stopped having sex with me and eventually, she dumped me again because I told her that she had been difficult to me over the week. Her voice and demeanor changed. She didn't seem like the person I met.
We have since gone NC. It's been 2 weeks now that I last heard from her. Besides reconciling, I have made no attempts to break NC. I do not intend to break it.
I've been focusing on myself. I've been telling myself to accept that the relationship has ended. There is nothing down that street anymore.
However I am still in pain because:
- This is someone I really opened up to. We had a great connection. She knows so many things about me than even my best friend.
- Sex was great. Before maining her, I hooked up with so many plates in a casual life-style but nothing felt as good in terms of sexual compatibility and returns.
- She is beautiful. Your aspirational blonde fitness influencer. We had quite a public relationship. The idea that she will monkey branch to someone else just hurts. And the gossip that will generate as well as the criticism of what I've done if she **** talks just makes me feel like crap.
- We had some very special memories together. Did a lot of crazy things like getting stranded in a National Park or sneaking into a country club, skinny dipping and ****.
- I still find myself missing her and thinking about her. I realize a lot of it maybe rose tinting what happened between us because ironically I have tried to dump her a few times because she can be controlling.
- Recently I took a new girl I met to dinner at a restaurant that just opened up in the city. Saw ex's best friend dining there. I'm sure she saw me and probably reported it to my ex. The idea that my moving on will just reinforce my ex's bad perception of me sucks.
- There hasn't been any great action in terms of plates yet and the idea that it requires so much effort for me to hook up whilst it is probably easy for my ex as a girl to move on or to **** another guy also pains me.
I am currently trying to move on. I've realized that I've been declining and neglecting areas of my life such as fitness, my career and even social circle since being with her. I became comfortable. She was a steady supply of attention, sex and love. Over the past 2 weeks I have been working hard to re-establish these neglected things. I started exercising, made an action plan. Got some career gigs coming up. I've also started going out and meet new girls. One I fingered but didn't **** because I wasn't in the mood yet. Another, I tried to close but was rejected. I am slowly trying to piece everything together but been feeling low.
Would really appreciate some advice on dealing with this. Many of you have probably been in this painful situation and learned a lot from it, what would be the advice you would give yourself and you wish you knew?
That you fvcked another chick was just a perfect exit strategy and excuse for her and doesn't matter that much.
Girls plan these things for weeks, months - heck even years to dump a guy /LTR, but in most of the cases not until she has an backup/new guy already fvcking her to fill your spot.