Be the BEST version of yourself, not BETTER than other men

[oc16]

I think this is very important, instead of trying to be better than other men, just be the best version of yourself.

When it comes to attractive women some of us might think:

Why should I get to have her when there are other men who are "taller, more handsome, drive a nicer car, have served in the Army, etc. (You name it)

This is self defeating behavior.

Everyone of us is UNIQUE and no two people are alike so stop "comparing" yourself to other men.

 

[SW15]

This sounds a little bit like that feel good, self improvement stuff that women eat up.

I'm not saying self improvement is bad. It's a good idea for men to get big muscles. Upping income can be a good thing but I think getting big muscles is better than increasing salary $20-30k/annual.

I think you do have to have awareness of the competition.

@Mike32ct thinks the big 3 for men are height, hair, and money. Height can't be changed. Hair can be changed through surgical and non-surgical procedures. Money can be changed.

I have said that game is some combination of looks, money, status, and persona. If you can do really well on one of those categories, you can get money. My preferred one to do well on is looks. Money is probably the one that can save most guys if all else fails. Bill Gates wouldn't have gotten laid without money and Microsoft CEO status within the confines of Microsoft HQ.

 

[oc16]

Not sure about the hair thing, you know women supposedly find bald men sexier?

I have the height and the hair, but not the money (though I am middle class). Most guys probably only have 1 or 2 out of 3. Very rare for a man to have all three.

 

[user252009]

Sure, it's the healthy mental thing to ignore everyone else and just focus on yourself, but you can't avoid the competition in the sexual marketplace; there are benchmarks there, and if you're the tallest guy in your country in Asia with a great style and salary, if you come to a western country with a much higher standard where people are generally much taller, you simply won't reach those benchmarks.

 

[Mike32ct]

This sounds a little bit like that feel good, self improvement stuff that women eat up.

I know what you're saying. I would say that it is a "cope" of sorts, but it probably has some value. It is good not to worry about other guys while a guy tries to build himself up. Focusing on the other guys can be a distraction at best or very discouraging at worst because progress is often slow.

But, I agree with you that competition is still very real and doesn't go away because we close our eyes to it.

I'm not saying self improvement is bad. It's a good idea for men to get big muscles. Upping income can be a good thing but I think getting big muscles is better than increasing salary $20-30k/annual.

Absolutely. She generally has no easy way of noticing a $20k to $30k bump in your income (unless she lives with you)*. She will notice your physique though.

*If she does suddenly chase you after a promotion at work or changing jobs, it's not because she noticed the income delta itself. It's because she found out via social or work circle gossip. In other words, she detected your status upgrade via her social network intel gathering.

I think you do have to have awareness of the competition.

@Mike32ct thinks the big 3 for men are height, hair, and money. Height can't be changed. Hair can be changed through surgical and non-surgical procedures. Money can be changed.

Yup.

Not sure about the hair thing, you know women supposedly find bald men sexier?

I have the height and the hair, but not the money (though I am middle class). Most guys probably only have 1 or 2 out of 3. Very rare for a man to have all three.

Full thick hair probably gets the most mileage for a white dude; bald can definitely work for some, but it is a niche market.

Yeah, having all three of the "Big Three" (height, hair and money) is not common. A young guy might have say #1 and #2. And older guy might #3 but be lacking in #1 and/or #2. Having Nos. 1, 2 and 3 is a "home run" if the guy has it.

 

[manfrombelow]

It is reasonable to only focus on how to beat yourself to become better than your old self of yesterday.

Competing against other men a.k.a "outside world" is meaningless and futile, because it's a losing game.

Disagree? Well you're free to go out and try to beat Bill Gates at making money or Chris Hemsworth at fame, then come back and tell me the result.

 

[SW15]

Full thick hair probably gets the most mileage for a white dude; bald can definitely work for some, but it is a niche market.

Yeah, having all three of the "Big Three" (height, hair and money) is not common. A young guy might have say #1 and #2. And older guy might #3 but be lacking in #1 and/or #2. Having Nos. 1, 2 and 3 is a "home run" if the guy has it.

I'm 39. Let's see how I am doing on height, hair, and money.

Height: I'm 5'10". That's a 0.

Hair: I have a full head of hair and no gray right now. That's a 1.

Money: I am not rich enough to impress a woman based upon money alone. That's a 0.

I have one of the three.

I want to talk about young men and money for a moment. Let's talk about males with family money. From high school-age 29, a guy can impress women via money if his family is wealthy. I have known guys in college or in their 20s post college graduation who weren't doing anything with their lives but had rich parents and could impress women via money due to the parents/family and their wealth holdings. Maybe the 20 something guy has investments/a trust fund. From ages 30-34, a guy with family money needs to be earning some money to impress women but he might be able to get away with a lower income earning threshold with rich parents. From age 35+, there's no special treatment for family money.

She generally has no easy way of noticing a $20k to $30k bump in your income (unless she lives with you)*. She will notice your physique though.

*If she does suddenly chase you after a promotion at work or changing jobs, it's not because she noticed the income delta itself. It's because she found out via social or work circle gossip. In other words, she detected your status upgrade via her social network intel gathering.

It's possible for a woman who is your girlfriend but doesn't live with you to notice a $20-30k salary increase. If you have a girlfriend (not live-in) or a live-in girlfriend, you are playing retention game instead of initial attraction game. Retention game is valuable and doesn't get talked about enough on this forum.

As to the asterisked point, that's social circle game and would be helpful in a social circle scenario. Social circle game is the easiest game and that's how a lot of beta males get into relationships.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I have hair. Maybe money (comfortable. Not rich). And swap face for height. So..2.5?

 

[BadBoy89]

@Mike32ct thinks the big 3 for men are height, hair, and money. Height can't be changed. Hair can be changed through surgical and non-surgical procedures. Money can be changed.

I have said that game is some combination of looks, money, status, and persona. If you can do really well on one of those categories, you can get money. My preferred one to do well on is looks. Money is probably the one that can save most guys if all else fails. Bill Gates wouldn't have gotten laid without money and Microsoft CEO status within the confines of Microsoft HQ.

Ive always said it, the 2 most important things for a man are height and hair.

Not going into extremes, I would say a thick full set of hair overtakes a height, 5’8 with a thick full set a black hair slicked back is better than 6’0 and bald. Other than the Rock and Vin Diesel, not too many bald movies stars. But a lot of movie stars who are shorter and have thick set of hair. Even in top shows, the guys can be a shorter than 6’0, but they have to have a lot of hair. The Fonz in Haply Days was short, but had great hair, women loved him.

Money worked in 1950s when women weren’t allowed to work and didnt have access to resources, In 2022, to get an average woman, money means nothing. I got a lot of money and assets, and girls could care less because I’m not 6’0. I’ve taken girls out to $400+ dinners, bought them everything, they could care less. Yes it’s provider game but I’m not the 6’0 Alpha Dog to do otherwise.

 

[SW15]

Money worked in 1950s when women weren’t allowed to work and didnt have access to resources, In 2022, to get an average woman, money means nothing. I got a lot of money and assets, and girls could care less because I’m not 6’0. I’ve taken girls out to $400+ dinners, bought them everything, they could care less. Yes it’s provider game but I’m not the 6’0 Alpha Dog to do otherwise.

Money can still work today but men need more of it to have the same effect it had 30-40 years ago.