Attractive or Not?

[Optimuspiglet]

I've never had a date in my life. I think I've analyzed the primary reason:

I have a BIG problem with my self confidence. Particularly related to my looks.

The problem is I don't have an accurate gauge of how attractive I'm perceived to be.

I've had total complete strangers, people I've NEVER seen before come up and give me a compliment like "It's because your handsome, I bet all the babes are checking you out."

I've had older women say I'm "really cute" or that girls are "going to hit on me". I've

On the other hand, I've been rejected numerous times after getting home phone numbers.

I'm just so shy when dealing with girls! And it's because I'm so insecure about my looks. Sometimes I just feel really repulsive looking and hate to show my face. I rarely get to the point where I can lock eyes with a girl, smile, etc.


Can anyone share similar experiences and or circumstances?

 

[Ronin I]

Well I've dealt with similar issues in the past (being way too preoccuppied with my looks).

All I can tell you is that your looks are not going to change (sure you can improve them by working out, dressing better, etc).

It is YOU that has to change.

As to how to enact that change - read the DJ Bible - over and over if you have to.

Concentrate on self - improvement - as you see yourself improving your confidence will build.

 

[divega]

Keep in mind that your attitude and perspective on live greatly affects your looks. Sounds like you're stuck in a harsh cycle where your attitude makes you feel ugly, and your feeling ugly affects your attitude. All you got to do is break out of that orbit and go into a more productive cycle.

In any case, it all boils down to what you think of yourself, not what others do. If you think yourself unattractive, others will follow suit.

Check out the DJ Bible, work out and build confidence. And don't assume how others think of you. Assume nothing and just act.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

My friend, I it is your low self esteem, and feeling of no self-worth that's keeping you down. First of all, you need to start worrying about what anybody else thinks of you, and start working on appreciating yourself and work on the changes that are going to make you into a more confident human being and better person in the long run.

Yes, most of us have been complimented at one time or another, and it will happen to you, but you can't let other people's actions dictate the pace in which your life is gonna move. The reason you haven't been succesful is because people, specially women, can smell your low levels of confidence from miles away.

No matter how attractive we are, or how confident, or non-confident we might be, there is always something we can do to improve. Go find the resources that are going to make you into a better person.

Again, you seeking approval from others is the worst thing you can do. I noticed how you weren't asking for help on how to deal with your issues. You were asking if anybody else has experience the same. What if we have? Are you trying to start a "let's feel sorry for ourselves" club?

Things to do:

1. Get yourself a set of the Brian Tracy's audio program "The Psychology of Achievement." Best program ever developed on the subject of confidence and performance. Forget about learning tricks, pick ups, etc.

2. You don't mention what's unattractive about you physically, but whatever it might be, you most likely can change it or improve it.

3. Start hanging out with female friends, or better yet female relatives, you'll learn a lot, plus there will be no pressure on trying to pick up on them. Just learn.

4. Stop sabotaging yourself confidence with your thoughts and by trying to get everybody's approval for things that you do.

5. Do searches on this site on confidence, etc.


Wish you the best!

 

[Gangster Of Love]

My friend, it is your low self esteem, and feeling of no self-worth that's keeping you down. First of all, you need to start worrying about what anybody else thinks of you, and start working on appreciating yourself and work on the changes that are going to make you into a more confident human being and better person in the long run.

Yes, most of us have been complimented at one time or another, and it will happen to you, but you can't let other people's actions dictate the pace in which your life is gonna move. The reason you haven't been succesful is because people, specially women, can smell your low levels of confidence from miles away.

No matter how attractive we are, or how confident, or non-confident we might be, there is always something we can do to improve. Go find the resources that are going to make you into a better person.

Again, you seeking approval from others is the worst thing you can do. I noticed how you weren't asking for help on how to deal with your issues. You were asking if anybody else has experience the same. What if we have? Are you trying to start a "let's feel sorry for ourselves" club?

Things to do:

1. Get yourself a set of the Brian Tracy's audio program "The Psychology of Achievement." Best program ever developed on the subject of confidence and performance. Forget about learning tricks, pick ups, etc.

2. You don't mention what's unattractive about you physically, but whatever it might be, you most likely can change it or improve it.

3. Start hanging out with female friends, or better yet female relatives, you'll learn a lot, plus there will be no pressure on trying to pick up on them. Just learn.

4. Stop sabotaging yourself confidence with your thoughts and by trying to get everybody's approval for things that you do.

5. Do searches on this site on confidence, etc.


Wish you the best!

 

[Starman]

Ahh the old "where do I stand" in relation to others gig huh?

Like the others said man..forget what you look like, I know this is easier said than done, but you are stuck in the mindset..that your physical appearance is the end all be all of the dating game..

You obviously learned this somewhere..where did you learn that you are ugly? or just dont match up? Parents? teasing siblings? bully's?

This is a problem women are plaugued with for life..let them worry about how they look..just be the best you can be..and work on your personality..and dont let negative thoughts on how you look cripple your self-esteem or your personality