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Asked my boss out

RicBoy

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I sent her a second message asking her out and made it sound all is good work wise if she doesn’t feel comfortable with the situation. She read it but didn’t reply yet and probably she won’t. She keeps checking my Facebook stories etc

time to back off and give her zero attention from now on, just hi and bye and if she is interested later she will come around.

I see her online quite a bit on Facebook I have a feeling she just met someone. She told me 2 weeks ago she had just created a profile in tinder.
 

thermodynamic

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as per OP question , he wants to bang his boss not asking if it is ok to bang your boss

if we would think mainly about risks , no one would bang women . Risk of being arrested , risk of getting and STD , risk of an angry ex , risk of , risk of etc etc

if he will be fired because of banging his boss then it will be a lesson learned . He is young , most likely his job is not that serious to begin or well paid . He can easily find another job , maybe even better paid

if you want to help him out , then try to give him some advice on how to actually bang his boss . The lessons after is his to be learned . This is how you learn , by also doing dumb stuff from time to time
Hell yeah . Right on. Plus , you never know he can leverage his position and get a promotion. Rasputin was banging his boss (the queen of Russia) and look what he got away with.

Been in one similar to this, and OP's dad's advice is the best. Don't ask her out, treat her like they're allready dating and keep pushing forward. No fear. A real badass pushes through despite the risk.
 

thermodynamic

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I sent her a second message asking her out and made it sound all is good work wise if she doesn’t feel comfortable with the situation. She read it but didn’t reply yet and probably she won’t. She keeps checking my Facebook stories etc

time to back off and give her zero attention from now on, just hi and bye and if she is interested later she will come around.

I see her online quite a bit on Facebook I have a feeling she just met someone. She told me 2 weeks ago she had just created a profile in tinder.
Should a followed your dad's advice and not asked her out. Kept pushing forward, and also let her be the aggressor and keep coming when you had the chance.
 

RicBoy

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Hell yeah . Right on. Plus , you never know he can leverage his position and get a promotion. Rasputin was banging his boss (the queen of Russia) and look what he got away with.

Been in one similar to this, and OP's dad's advice is the best. Don't ask her out, treat her like they're allready dating and keep pushing forward. No fear. A real badass pushes through despite the risk.
Too late I pulled the trigger
 

RicBoy

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Should a followed your dad's advice and not asked her out. Kept pushing forward, and also let her be the aggressor and keep coming when you had the chance.
What to do now, remove my attention from her and stop flirting all together or act like nothing happened and keep flirting etc?
 

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Bigpapa

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Hell yeah . Right on. Plus , you never know he can leverage his position and get a promotion. Rasputin was banging his boss (the queen of Russia) and look what he got away with.

Been in one similar to this, and OP's dad's advice is the best. Don't ask her out, treat her like they're allready dating and keep pushing forward. No fear. A real badass pushes through despite the risk.
there are plenty of guys who leverage this in the work space , not as many as women , but still a decent amount

have a friend now that bangs his boss ( a woman in her early 40s that is married ) and he got promotions , salaries increases , personal development budget that is quite high etc etc

it is something to brag about ? Not really

it is ethical ? Hell no

does it help you down the line ? Definitely

to get jobs is about the story that people can see , not the story that people will never really know

and this friend even if he will be fired ultimately , I am sure that he grew professionally faster than most guys in a way shorter time and eventually will land a job ( + a hefty farewell gift of a couple good salaries from the company )

I would say that overall is not a bad thing

it way stupider to bang the people bellow you when you are a manager ( as most guys do ) than to bang your boss
 

RicBoy

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She removed me from Facebook and sent me one message this morning. She said she appreciate my courage but she is seeing someone and is happy even tho she is divorced. No hard feelings between us

I replied good luck

I don’t really get it why she would remove me when her message seems ok
 

Bigpapa

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She removed me from Facebook and sent me one message this morning. She said she appreciate my courage but she is seeing someone and is happy even tho she is divorced. No hard feelings between us

I replied good luck

I don’t really get it why she would remove me when her message seems ok
this happens when you are direct , you will put her in a position to make a decision on the spot

she added you on fb to gauge how interesting you are , because she had an interest in you

Most likely she did not find anything super interesting there so she did the most adverse risk thing possible , to reject you because she thought that things might get complicated at work by hooking up with you
 

RicBoy

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this happens when you are direct , you will put her in a position to make a decision on the spot

she added you on fb to gauge how interesting you are , because she had an interest in you

Most likely she did not find anything super interesting there so she did the most adverse risk thing possible , to reject you because she thought that things might get complicated at work by hooking up with you
I don’t work in the office I work in the field, i he to ask her out and pull the trigger. What was I gonna go? Go to the office and try to seduce her twice a month ? Wouldn’t work.
 

Bigpapa

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I don’t work in the office I work in the field, i he to ask her out and pull the trigger. What was I gonna go? Go to the office and try to seduce her twice a month ? Wouldn’t work.
you should have started with small talk to test the waters , then gradually talking more personal stuff , then when the discussion was on a high note to soft close her ( we should grab a drink ) then head close her ( how your schedule looks like )
 

RicBoy

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you should have started with small talk to test the waters , then gradually talking more personal stuff , then when the discussion was on a high note to soft close her ( we should grab a drink ) then head close her ( how your schedule looks like )
when se added me on Facebook I said sent her message saying hi and whatnot flirting she didn't reply. I dint she really has a guy and also from beginning she knew she was my boss and kept space
 

Bigpapa

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when se added me on Facebook I said sent her message saying hi and whatnot flirting she didn't reply. I dint she really has a guy and also from beginning she knew she was my boss and kept space
man , you should have done this when you messaged her initially to go out , not after you pulled the trigger
 

RicBoy

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man , you should have done this when you messaged her initially to go out , not after you pulled the trigger
I think she had low interest from the beginning and may just a bit curious. Also a chance that she really is seeing a guy and being my boss she probably didn't want to get involved. Regardless, she sent me a message saying she is seeing someone and appreciates the my courage in asking her out and no hard feelings :), I just replied Good luck.

im gonna see her in the office twice a week or so, im totally removing my attention from her, zero validation,hi and bye and whatever we need to talk for work. Maybe she will come around when she sees I dont give a fack about her anymore
 

Bigpapa

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I think she had low interest from the beginning and may just a bit curious. Also a chance that she really is seeing a guy and being my boss she probably didn't want to get involved. Regardless, she sent me a message saying she is seeing someone and appreciates the my courage in asking her out and no hard feelings :), I just replied Good luck.

im gonna see her in the office twice a week or so, im totally removing my attention from her, zero validation,hi and bye and whatever we need to talk for work. Maybe she will come around when she sees I dont give a fack about her anymore
this is just you trying to save your ego mainly

the truth is that you did not play it at optimum capacity
 

RicBoy

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this is just you trying to save your ego mainly

the truth is that you did not play it at optimum capacity
yeah, but she wasn't replying to messages on Facebook, simple messages at all, so small talk out of the office not possible. And I dont have time to go to the office. I think she added me on Facebook because she thought we could be friends and as soon as showed my real cards she removed me.
 

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stringpuller

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Banging your boss in her office would be based. If you can pull it off. Someones banging her why not you?
Ngl I would. Be a intense affair eh? haha
 

Bigpapa

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yeah, but she wasn't replying to messages on Facebook, simple messages at all, so small talk out of the office not possible. And I dont have time to go to the office. I think she added me on Facebook because she thought we could be friends and as soon as showed my real cards she removed me.
man , are you an autist ?

you send her a phone massage to go out directly -> she adds you on Facebook -> she looks at your Posts -> you double text her through fb , trying to downplay your initial move -> then you send her another message on her phone where you are very direct again -> she gives you some bs reason so she can reject you

do you find your moves at least decent ?

this is how a guy without any social intelligence behaves . Tarzan style “ Ubungu bungo . I Tarzan , YOU Jane . Sex , yes ? “
 

RicBoy

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man , are you an autist ?

you send her a phone massage to go out directly -> she adds you on Facebook -> she looks at your Posts -> you double text her through fb , trying to downplay your initial move -> then you send her another message on her phone where you are very direct again -> she gives you some bs reason so she can reject you

do you find your moves at least decent ?

this is how a guy without any social intelligence behaves . Tarzan style “ Ubungu bungo . I Tarzan , YOU Jane “
Let me tel you how it went.

I was in the office 5 days in row and we flirted etc.
In the 6th day I sent her a msg to her phone if she wanted to meet for a drink? She replies she had busy weekend. I said ok no worries.

Later that night she adds me on Facebook. I sent her a msg there saying Hi you found me..., no reply from her.
I go to the office next day and she is all smiles to me.
Later that night she puts likes on my stories.
Then I sent her a msg asking her out for the second time, mind you it has been week apart. he says she is seeing someone and admired me my courage and no hard feelings at work and removes from Facebook, This was all.
 

RicBoy

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man , are you an autist ?

you send her a phone massage to go out directly -> she adds you on Facebook -> she looks at your Posts -> you double text her through fb , trying to downplay your initial move -> then you send her another message on her phone where you are very direct again -> she gives you some bs reason so she can reject you

do you find your moves at least decent ?

this is how a guy without any social intelligence behaves . Tarzan style “ Ubungu bungo . I Tarzan , YOU Jane . Sex , yes ? “
Also she is my boss, I cant act with her like other girls, warming her up etc. I have to be quite formal because anything wrong I say it can go bad very bad.
Last company I worked for, I dated my boss for a year and when she dumped me she fired me on the spot
 

Bigpapa

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Let me tel you how it went.

I was in the office 5 days in row and we flirted etc.
In the 6th day I sent her a msg to her phone if she wanted to meet for a drink? She replies she had busy weekend. I said ok no worries.

Later that night she adds me on Facebook. I sent her a msg there saying Hi you found me..., no reply from her.
I go to the office next day and she is all smiles to me.
Later that night she puts likes on my stories.
Then I sent her a msg asking her out for the second time, mind you it has been week apart. he says she is seeing someone and admired me my courage and no hard feelings at work and removes from Facebook, This was all.
I still do not see

warming up -> soft close ( we should grab a drink some time ) -> hard close ( how your schedule looks like )

you jumped directly to the hard close
 
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