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As I get older my friends seem to be really boring...

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Feb 3, 2021
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Yea, I know we all get boring as we age right? This isn't about people getting older and their priorities changing this post is about why 35+ year old dudes all of a sudden want to sit home with their wives.

I'm 37, married with an awesome wife and daughter. I have everything to be happy about in life. I love spending time with them. My social circle was always good and still have the same friends I had from my partying years. Some are married, some have girlfriends but they all seem to not want to do anything ever but sit home with their partners.

I think part of the situation is I own my own business and we do OK financially but I don't interact with a lot of people in my current position. It's a very small company and we make ends meet but there isn't a lot of social aspect there for me.

I like working out (injured currently so I can't spend more time in the GYM) cars and whiskey. Maybe I need to find a meetup group or something with some like minded dudes.

Anyone else run into this issue?
Yes, that's life. We grow apart and as we age it becomes harder to make friends. There is a podcast about this topic from The Art Of Manliness, you should check it out.

Ultimately, you will have a greater chance at deeply and GENUINELY connecting with someone while practicing or attending something you are passionate about. Common interests will bring people closer together, especially us as men, we connect while DOING. That is our nature.

Modern Man Advice
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Senior Don Juan
Oct 2, 2016
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I exactly know what you’re talking about. Let me put it this way: People seem to age way faster than me even younger. I still do whatever brings fun; to my life and I barrly say no to anything only if there is a really good reason Not to do something. With my friends I always am the one pushing to do something and still they nearly do anything. Once I decided, that I do what I wanna do, regardless of them. If they want, they can join in, if not I’m going either way. If you get used to do things alone, after a while that’s even more cool than going with friend because basically it’s easier to get to know new people than when you go somewhere with a group of people.
Those people you get to know and spend a funny night at a club or a concert may not get your new friends /social circle but those are people you can spend a funny night out. Next night out? You get to know new people that you enjoy an evening with. Sure that are mostly younger people but honestly speaking to me that’s More refreshing to me than talking that same old bull**** that most 40s are talking about. Before corona I basically never missed a constant social circle with the same friends.
Due to COVID when you are stuck at home having a social circle that you can relay on is for sure a pro but if you’re free to do and go wherever you want. You can basically find new friends every night every other city you go. No need to have a constant social circle. On a side note I do believe that when you are over 40 or even mid thirties it’s impossible to find nee people that you could call friends the same way you were friends with guys you knew your whole life or since school. New found friendships won’t last as long and will never have those deep bounds you had with the others before mostly due to a lot of shared experiences. So my advice: best to find a way to have fun and a social live without of being dependend on a social circle. For me traveling an going to clubs and concerts worked out great.
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Master Don Juan
Jul 12, 2004
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I'm 33 and have surpassed all of that now. To the point where I moved back home to my family and nothing else. I left my old career after nearly a decade. Most of those friends and co-workers are still in Europe and I won't see majority of them ever again. All my friends here in the states are either dead or have moved quite far. It's been calm and other times stressful being back home but I'm moving away next month to a complete blank slate and new chapter of life/career. The area I'm moving to I left 11 years ago, and that's about the only familiarity I will have. This time I will be ready for the harsh winter weather with all the high dollar outdoor gear I've acquired over the years lol...

My other option offered by my last employer was to stay in Europe 12 more months. I refused to bust my a$s for another crappy performance eval and to be stuck in lockdown to this day...Boris is just now trying to open the country back up. I'm better off here with the money I saved up and without any friends until I move onto my next objective. No lockdowns either.


Master Don Juan
Oct 8, 2008
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I'm that 40 year old guy that sits at home with his wife and family and gets sh!t from my single friends about not coming out with them at night.

Personally I wouldn't have it any other way.

We get together to play disc golf and hike and even D&D over a beer or too but a life has to have priorities and getting fvcked up is not it.

When I'm sick and depressed and anxious it's not the guys at the bar who talk to me and hold things down until I recover. When I get old they won't be around to wipe my ass. And when I die their memories will probably last a day or even just one toast. So I'm always here to talk to you and build but we have to do it in a different way. Either you change with me or I guess I'll see ya when I see ya.

Edit: We have to meet halfway though. As I said I can get together doing positive activities in my limited time and make that limited time quality time but these guys have to know that people change as they grow and some have more responsibility and less time than others.
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