Are Structured Singles Events a Waste of Time?

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,614
Reaction score
10,719
Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by definition.

Many different entities will put on a singles night. It can be anything from an apartment community, to a Meetup.com singles group, to some other organization. Speed dating events count as a structured singles event, though a sub-variant of singles events in general.

I have been to singles events and have found that it brings out a weak talent pool of women, mainly no one above a 6. Also, the 5-6s act entitled AF. Many boring types come out, like female accountants and some careerists too.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? Are these events worth skipping altogether? It's super easy to talk to people at these since women are expected to be approached.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,529
Reaction score
2,825
Age
50
If you don't have anything else going on it is good practice for interacting with women who are just as frustrated as you are with the dating scene. It lets you know just how you are affecting women with your looks and personality.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,614
Reaction score
10,719
In the age of swipe apps and male thirst, there is little need for a quality woman to attend such events. You're likely to get low quality women, or medium quality women looking for validation.
I doubt these structured singles events were good 20 years ago, when dating websites had yet to be fully destigmatized and swipe apps were a thing of the future. Male thirst has gotten worse in the last 20 years too.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
10,832
Reaction score
4,479
I believe that Sun-Tzu originally surmised the stratagem of not taking on your enemy at his strength; the way that most of my competition heightmogs me, I have learned to seek out more fertile battleground - and singles events are such fertile battleground for those of us that cannot win the singles scene battles head-on. A woman that has signed up for a singles event is more primed to get picked up than anywhere else - and such events are generally not sausage fests like OLD.

Now all that said, the pickings can be lean, but also as Sun-Tzu had surmised, one must be patient for the right time to maneuver; all that is lost at such an event is the time-opportunity cost and perhaps some really insignificant cash outlay. I would hit singles events that mostly had women 5-10 (or more :eek: ) years older, but every once in a while a properly young mid/upper-tier Becky would come as a friend of an older chick. Think about it - where else can you go and mingle with women looking to (eventually) get pollinated? Do you really come across that much poontang in the few hours of a singles' event from your regular PUA activity? :rolleyes:

Heck, I even hit singles' events when I GeoMax.
 
Last edited:

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,401
Reaction score
3,326
Age
35
Location
London
I disagree with the idea singles events are only for low-quality women that need attention. It's the bulk of the demographic sure, I know some very attractive women that are not h0es that have been to these events. They know OLD is trash and the men are fvckboys (I'm only talking the top 20% men the rest of you do not compute), some women actively guard against being pump and dumped (usually from experience). They equally want a night out, to drink with friends and see what cute guys they can size up in person.

The hottest girls I know don't trawl OLD going on countless dates, they bounce from LTR to LTR, get wifed up or live the hot girl lifestyle (social media).
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,614
Reaction score
10,719
The hottest girls I know don't trawl OLD going on countless dates, they bounce from LTR to LTR, get wifed up or live the hot girl lifestyle (social media).
The acceptable prospects on swipe apps are typically the 5.5-7.4 range. You don't see a lot of the 7.5+ range on the swipe apps and when you do, they rarely match with you. The 5.5-7.4 range is plentiful on the swipe apps and the 6.5-7.4 range is desirable. I fall into that 6.5-7.4 range so that is my theoretical equal.

The idea is that any man would want to put himself where his prospects are most likely to be. I'd like to market myself to the attractive women who aren't ever-present on swipe apps going on countless dates. If the best looking women are bouncing from LTR to LTR with minimal breaks or active on Instagram, that would be mean Instagram would be a better option. Instagram game is pretty tough and my follower count is nowhere near acceptable enough to DM the women I'd want on Instagram. Therefore, I need to focus on in-person areas where my target market would be.

I definitely think singles events are going to attract an element that is beneath what I am looking to attract, both now and into the future. I don't want to fight it out on the swipe apps against the hordes of men. 65-75% men in a venue isn't my thing. Instagram would be better but I'm not nearly Instagram ready.
 

RBK

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
376
Reaction score
428
Age
40
In the age of swipe apps and male thirst, there is little need for a quality woman to attend such events. You're likely to get low quality women, or medium quality women looking for validation.
Agree with this.
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,401
Reaction score
3,326
Age
35
Location
London
I definitely think singles events are going to attract an element that is beneath what I am looking to attract, both now and into the future. I don't want to fight it out on the swipe apps against the hordes of men. 65-75% men in a venue isn't my thing. Instagram would be better but I'm not nearly Instagram ready.
In-person you can attract much higher SMV because other things come into play, confidence, charisma, fragrance, room craft etc

You could pull an 8 IRL whereas OLD you say your limit is 7.4 - singles events are just a sure-fire way to meet women IRL. YMMV.

I'm not a big advocate of them, but it's not the terrible option it's made out to be.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,614
Reaction score
10,719
In-person you can attract much higher SMV because other things come into play, confidence, charisma, fragrance, room craft etc

You could pull an 8 IRL whereas OLD you say your limit is 7.4 - singles events are just a sure-fire way to meet women IRL. YMMV.

I'm not a big advocate of them, but it's not the terrible option it's made out to be.
If I say the limit is 7.4 at singles events, the random in person approaching limit is at least 9.5.

The upside of these events is how easy it is to start conversations. Other that that, it is shiit.

The general sentiment about these events is negative.
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,401
Reaction score
3,326
Age
35
Location
London
If I say the limit is 7.4 at singles events, the random in person approaching limit is at least 9.5.

The upside of these events is how easy it is to start conversations. Other that that, it is shiit.

The general sentiment about these events is negative.
You mirror the thinking of this forum and society as a whole. Ruling things out you've never tried because comfort zone, because you know best, because you, single at home wanking into a sock, the beacon of truth, knows best.

In before "I've been to many singles nights and bagged many women that are just too subpar for me, let me proceed to swipe on women out of my league with my average at best facial aesthetics and get 0 play"
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
10,832
Reaction score
4,479
The hottest girls I know don't trawl OLD going on countless dates, they bounce from LTR to LTR, get wifed up or live the hot girl lifestyle (social media).
It's been my experience that decently attractive women that find me attractive enough to date spend VERY little time single - they are only generally available for a few weeks. :mad:
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,027
Reaction score
4,584
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Sometimes singles events have a secret “after party.” Some of the singles might go to a bar afterwards. That’s where the real action happens.

I went to a singles event with a female coworker friend. I left after the singles event. The next day, she told me about the after party and how several people (including herself) went to this bar, met up with other singles from the event, and ended up leaving with somebody.
 

Bingo-Player

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
Messages
3,234
Reaction score
3,590
Location
uk
As someone who actually looked at this as a business model i began to discover problems

Getting men to attend was relatively easy .......getting women not so much

Here are the issues i found

women are generally required to make a lot more effort to attend something like this than men

For example a man can chuck a shirt and jeans on and turn up

A woman needs to wash her hair , do her makeup , pick an outfit and potentially get her nails done

There is a lot of effort required possibly too much for any woman that isn't absolutely desperate to find a partner so that virtually rules out any females under the age of 25 and even the percentage under 30 would be small

You end up in a scenario where by you can sign 20 blokes up who will turn up thinking its going to be an all you can eat pu$$y buffet and maybe 5 women show up between 35-40 expecting to find a husband


---------------------------

As someone mentioned above people who go to these kinds of things are usually there for good reason
they are either lacking social skills or have underlying personality issues that stop them from experiencing normal social interactions

When these traits are present in a woman it usually means she is extremely undesirable to the market

I eventually decided not to pursue the business model as i just couldn't see a scenario where i would get a sustainable level of decent women to par with the men
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,614
Reaction score
10,719
Getting men to attend was relatively easy .......getting women not so much

You end up in a scenario where by you can sign 20 blokes up who will turn up thinking its going to be an all you can eat pu$$y buffet
Men are thirsty AF. Male thirst has been at epidemic levels for at least the last 15 years, if not longer. Male thirst now is worse than it was even 10 years ago.

women are generally required to make a lot more effort to attend something like this than men

A woman needs to wash her hair , do her makeup , pick an outfit and potentially get her nails done

There is a lot of effort required possibly too much for any woman that isn't absolutely desperate to find a partner so that virtually rules out any females under the age of 25 and even the percentage under 30 would be small

and maybe 5 women show up between 35-40 expecting to find a husband
Women have to make that same level of effort for one Tinder/Hinge/Bumble date. They are making that effort for some possible top tier guy based upon photos and maybe one video chat. Plenty of under 30 women are swiping on apps.

I agree that the structured events are a lot of effort for any woman not desperate to find a partner.

There was one event I went to where the male-female ratio was favorable to men. There were more women than men but the majority of women were below average looking. Some average looking women in their early 30s were there with 1-2 women I'd deem in the cute range. Event was a shiit show where I got one number and a woman below my SMV level flaked on me.

More often than not, the events have more men than women. Desperation on both sides and the looks of women aren't that impressive.

As someone mentioned above people who go to these kinds of things are usually there for good reason
they are either lacking social skills or have underlying personality issues that stop them from experiencing normal social interactions

When these traits are present in a woman it usually means she is extremely undesirable to the market

I eventually decided not to pursue the business model as i just couldn't see a scenario where i would get a sustainable level of decent women to par with the men
If women there are desperate to find to a partner, that's not a good sign. The men are desperate as well at these types of events and might also be having social problems because they aren't making it happen via social circle, swipe app, or cold approach.

Everything seems bad about that business model.
 

HaleyBaron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
2,378
Reaction score
2,046
I believe that Sun-Tzu originally surmised the stratagem of not taking on your enemy at his strength; the way that most of my competition heightmogs me, I have learned to seek out more fertile battleground - and singles events are such fertile battleground for those of us that cannot win the singles scene battles head-on. A woman that has signed up for a singles event is more primed to get picked up than anywhere else - and such events are generally not sausage fests like OLD.

Now all that said, the pickings can be lean, but also as Sun-Tzu had surmised, one must be patient for the right time to maneuver; all that is lost at such an event is the time-opportunity cost and perhaps some really insignificant cash outlay. I would hit singles events that mostly had women 5-10 (or more :eek: ) years older, but every once in a while a properly young mid/upper-tier Becky would come as a friend of an older chick. Think about it - where else can you go and mingle with women looking to (eventually) get pollinated? Do you really come across that much poontang in the few hours of a singles' event from your regular PUA activity? :rolleyes:

Heck, I even hit singles' events when I GeoMax.
How many women did Sun-Tzu get?
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,614
Reaction score
10,719
A woman that has signed up for a singles event is more primed to get picked up than anywhere else -
It is much easier to approach a woman at those events as compared to on the street, a grocery store, or a park. Women who attend structured singles events are expecting to be approached. Non-bar approaching is difficult in part because no woman is expecting to be approached in the grocery store, mall, or park. Bar approaching is a little bit easier because of inhibiting reducing alcohol in part. However, the more important reason why bar approaching is a little bit easier is that women do go to bars to be approached. Some women at bars are not serious about meeting men.

events are generally not sausage fests like OLD.
This is debatable. It depends upon how the event is marketed

Do you really come across that much poontang in the few hours of a singles' event from your regular PUA activity? :rolleyes:
The answer would be no based upon the numbers of women who are open to fielding a non-bar venue approach. My answer might be different if I were willing to spam approach at non-bar venues. Some guys are good at spam approaching. Guys who approach women on a walking path who are wearing earbuds are far more likely to be spam style approachers. I have never been good at doing approaches of women walking around wearing earbuds. If I could master that skill, it would open up for some things for me.
 
M

member160292

Guest
Sometimes singles events have a secret “after party.” Some of the singles might go to a bar afterwards. That’s where the real action happens.

I went to a singles event with a female coworker friend. I left after the singles event. The next day, she told me about the after party and how several people (including herself) went to this bar, met up with other singles from the event, and ended up leaving with somebody.
I enjoy your posts, Mike. You’re very knowledgeable I find it hilarious that you are the pinnacle of right place wrong time!
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,614
Reaction score
10,719
Sometimes singles events have a secret “after party.” Some of the singles might go to a bar afterwards. That’s where the real action happens.

I went to a singles event with a female coworker friend. I left after the singles event. The next day, she told me about the after party and how several people (including herself) went to this bar, met up with other singles from the event, and ended up leaving with somebody.
The structured event was a waste of time. The after party seemed like a typical bar night.
 
Top