Well that’s the key. Not being effected. If she wants abandoned help her along with it. Women act differently with different men.I think it's erroneous to impose the real world statistics to the statistics on this site. PUA is basically just teaching otherwise codependent men to adopt more overtly narcissistic traits. If you think about it PUA also teaches push/pull, being "unpredictable" - interested one minute, indifferent the next, spinning plates to hedge our bets emotionally, etc etc. So when these men go out there and practice this stuff they start attracting the crazies. It's even worse when they actually get good at it. The better you get at PUA stuff, the crazier the ***** you tend to attract.
But deep in their core they're still that codependent looking for true love so when the whole thing blows up in their faces they do a Google search and this site shows up. This alone would skew the percentages way above that of the real world statistics.
I half agree with this. A friend had a falling out with a girl in our social circle and told me that she was a psychopath yada yada. I told him just let it go and work on himself and stuff. This same girl then invited me over for dinner one day and having experience with bpd chicks before and keeping in mind the friend's report on her being a psycho I went anyway just to see what's up. I didn't **** her on the first date although she definitely wanted some ****.
****ed her on the second date and on the third told her that I'm not available for a committed relationship right there in bed before ****ing her for the third time. The same exact girl, who for my friend was a psycho ***** but for me was standard operating procedure to get a plate. So there's that.
But the part I don't disagree with is that BPD chicks do the double bind, which normal chicks don't do. They set things up so you can never win.
Normal chicks might use bad behavior to test you, but normal chicks are actually afraid of being abandoned by a high SMV man, and will fall in line. Problems start when the man loses frame and they lose respect for the man.
With borderline chicks it's different. They crave abandonment. So they set things up so that they feel that from you. Then when they do they don't like you anymore and paint you black. Then after a while the feeling subsides and you're painted white again and rinse and repeat.
The more potent the abandonment they can feel from you, the more likely they are to come back and hoover. Abandonment is their drug, not love. I think you can even hone it down to a formula:
Abandonment potency = (Extreme of idealisation - extreme of devaluation) / time spent together
That's the reason why they are so attached to their abusive npd boyfriends. NPDs also idealise and devalue, and the more severe the condition, the shorter the cycles.
Normal women do not do this, and to assume that they do betrays a grave misunderstanding of the condition. In any case I've managed to keep my ex bpd away because I don't offer any abandonment potency anymore. She knows she cannot affect me using neither praise nor insult, so she's off idealizing some poor 50 year old blokes who'll get the devaluation soon enough. Poor chap is tagging her on posts in social media he's probably thinking he hit the jackpot since bpds are usually quite hot.
I have a line in my head. That’s the point where I shut down. I can get really close with a woman but can still control my emotions.
That line is the make/break point. Now I know for some they will just say I don’t understand or I don’t have experience with one, Yada, yada
Let’s say that’s true, then let me hand out another truth, it will never happen to me. Because she wouldn’t dare. She’s never been dropped like I will drop her. Cold blooded ice. The next guy she’s with will be truly fukked.
So is that BPD stuff true? I don’t care because it doesn’t apply to me. Some men are way more susceptible to women like this. Good sex, good ego strokes etc. why does the guy not automatically see the difference? I don’t know. Nearly all my experiences have been good. What kind of man attracts this and how? I don’t know. But there’s something in him that makes it very real.
It’s not my problem. Like you pointed out. That girl acted completely different with you. That is an observable fact. Speculation is useless in the face of observable fact.
The vast majority of women have no ill will. However if you loose frame, all bets are off. You will have to own it. I’ve always wondered if one can smell it on a man.