Am I too picky???

[Dee-Zy]

ok, here's the deal

Since I have been on this board - I can count on my 2 hands the amount of girls I have ben interested in.

Actually there has been a little over 5 cases/girls.

I have this thing where I don't bother with girls that are

1) younger *even if it's just one year)
2) asians
3) hoes
4) ugly

But not only that, my biggest problem is in order for me to pursue a girl - she has to make me go like 'woah' whenever/when I see her.

Thoses are rare where I live.

A girl will always be no body, chubby, no face, boring, no style, ect.

u get the point.

So what do u think guys? N what should I do?

 

[DJ_Dork]

tip.

You got the wrong attitude for dating, fix yourself first.

 

[trajhenkhet]

I only have one catagory that I will stop dating and its hard to ascertain this type past date 3 or 4 depending on how observing one is. The legendary "head case". This is filter enough.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Re: tip.

Originally posted by DJ_Dork
You got the wrong attitude for dating, fix yourself first.

please elaborate?

 

[Frosty]

DZ,I read a book many years ago that called what you described as "romantic perfectionism." I recognized and fixed it in myself to improve my dating life.

I believe the author's name is David Copeland, if I am correct. I think the basis of the theory is that you create rigid standards when it comes to dating to justify your shyness or lack of approaching women on a regular basis therefore you tend to be without a date or love interest.

Some approaches should be just to keep yourself sharp and to maintain your ability to approach any oen and strike a conversation with them.
C'mon, dude, let the ugly girls have some fun too. You don't have to walk away with the number.

 

[One on One]

You're not bringing enough girls into your tryouts man. I used to be the same way. Girls had to have the perfect look for me to consider pursuing them. Now, I've opened my mind more and I've found that you get to know girls and then you choose which ones to go for. You can't judge a book by its cover unless the cover is really ugly!

 

[suavedave]

same boat

Same boat here!

I have this rigid standard-- Japanese and not too pretty. I've narrowed it down because ...

Japanese -- they are the ones that turn me on now,

Not too pretty -- Less likely for heart break.

I know, this is strict, but ... if anyone has any suggestions as to how I can cease from narrowing my view, that would be great.

 

[BrWnSugaMan]

Frost hit the nail on the head. By the way...what was the title of that book?

 

[htemorp]

no shiet. I love how these losers that are less than attractive alienating people. BEGGERS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS.

Ignorant isn't a bliss in this scenario.

 

[Royal-tiger]

The book is ...

The name of the book is:

Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome: How to Stop Being Shy Without Becoming A Jerk

(written by David Copeland)

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by htemorp
no shiet. I love how these losers that are less than attractive alienating people. BEGGERS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS.

Ignorant isn't a bliss in this scenario.

huh?

Are u say'N I'm a loser?

 

[Howie Farkes]

Originally posted by Dee-Zy
ok, here's the deal

Since I have been on this board - I can count on my 2 hands the amount of girls I have ben interested in.

Actually there has been a little over 5 cases/girls.

I have this thing where I don't bother with girls that are

1) younger *even if it's just one year)
2) asians
3) hoes
4) ugly

But not only that, my biggest problem is in order for me to pursue a girl - she has to make me go like 'woah' whenever/when I see her.

Thoses are rare where I live.

A girl will always be no body, chubby, no face, boring, no style, ect.

u get the point.

So what do u think guys? N what should I do?

I used to do this years ago too. It was my way of justifying to myself my lack of approaches and success with chicks. "I don't have a girlfriend yet because no-one is good enough" can be quite an effective delusion to hold onto.

Nothing wrong at all with having standards but sounds like maybe you're placing too much emphasis on finding physical perfection rather than the entire package. Also, what's your reason for excluding younger women?

 

[digitalrat]

Originally posted by Frosty
DZ,I read a book many years ago that called what you described as "romantic perfectionism." I recognized and fixed it in myself to improve my dating life.

I believe the author's name is David Copeland, if I am correct. I think the basis of the theory is that you create rigid standards when it comes to dating to justify your shyness or lack of approaching women on a regular basis therefore you tend to be without a date or love interest.

Some approaches should be just to keep yourself sharp and to maintain your ability to approach any oen and strike a conversation with them.
C'mon, dude, let the ugly girls have some fun too. You don't have to walk away with the number.

Let me tell you, this condition is fatal. It is very easy for the shy guy inside you to tell you "She is not hot enough" and you will believe it without thinking.

I caught myself doing this to the other day at the mall, I was like "woah, stop that"

 

[BobbDobbs]

It is interesting that people recognize this in themselves and attribute it to being "too picky" rather than attributing it to being unlucky in living where there is a disproportion number of uglies.

Anyhow, this affliction is more common to young guys, as that is probably our grade/high school experience. We got used to all the girls we saw day after day, and only a few really stood out. Charlie Brown had the hots for the little red haired girl -- and no one else.

As a young man's problem, it fades with experience.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Whoa..this is an eye opening thread.

I agree with the majority in this post because, i myself, have been looking at women lately, and don't even bother approaching if the girl isn't the quality 8+ HB i'm looking for.

It's the attitude that we, as DJ's, should not waste our time with the women who aren't to our standards. But, saying no to every 7.9 HB girl out there isn't helpful.

Dee-zy..I'm like you bro. Being asian myself, I've dated those 8.5 HB "import model" type girls you see at Hot Import Nights. They're cute, but, majority of them have no brains at all. All they talk about is modeling with this company or starting this "ms. import girl.com website"..blah...

With that said, I've consequently stopped dating girls who even show the least bit interest in import cars or the import car scene. Stupid move on my part. I miss out on their friends, the social proof of some hot fems, and the sharpness of DJ'n on fems.

I'm in the mode now that even if I don't find the girl as "whoa"...there isn't anything wrong with still approaching, scoring the number, and if it doesn't go STR, LTR, or FB...then, I got a chick I can network with.

You start lookin pretty smooth when you go to a club and you have a bunch of social proof ladies greeting you everywhere you step.

-HQ

 

[Chaos-Knight]

(quote)
suavedave said :
Same boat here!

I have this rigid standard-- Japanese and not too pretty. I've narrowed it down because ...

Japanese -- they are the ones that turn me on now,

Not too pretty -- Less likely for heart break.

I know, this is strict, but ... if anyone has any suggestions as to how I can cease from narrowing my view, that would be great

(end of quote)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am also into japanese!
these women have many qualitys
that I am looking for,

Like:

1.NEVER GETTING FAT
2.Shorter but not midget
3.Intellegence
4.Loyalty
5.tight p===y
6.Non-enlargened titties(thus less guys will stare at your girl)
7.Black hair
8.Most of em Love camping and mountains/scenery -Big Plus
9.Speaks Japanese - Which I am learning (Im into Anime)

10.A skinny tall guy like me can pick her up and not break my back


Anyway,I'm Very picky also but I plan to practice with regular
chicks (and never get serious with them)
good to have some HB - FB's (lots of s.x anyway)
and sharpen my skills... till it becomes convenient to
settle down then I'll search for a Japanese Gal.

Dee-Zy - My advice is move somewhere else,and maybe try
somekind of sport like rockclimbing (no fatties there)
and keep your standards,I see nothing wrong there.
and Lastly,Don't forget that you can use the decent
looking chicas for practice even if your aiming for HB 8-9s...

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by Chaos-Knight
(quote)
suavedave said :
Same boat here!

I have this rigid standard-- Japanese and not too pretty. I've narrowed it down because ...

Japanese -- they are the ones that turn me on now,

Not too pretty -- Less likely for heart break.

I know, this is strict, but ... if anyone has any suggestions as to how I can cease from narrowing my view, that would be great

(end of quote)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am also into japanese!
these women have many qualitys
that I am looking for,

Like:

1.NEVER GETTING FAT
2.Shorter but not midget
3.Intellegence
4.Loyalty
5.tight p===y
6.Non-enlargened titties(thus less guys will stare at your girl)
7.Black hair
8.Most of em Love camping and mountains/scenery -Big Plus
9.Speaks Japanese - Which I am learning (Im into Anime)

10.A skinny tall guy like me can pick her up and not break my back


Anyway,I'm Very picky also but I plan to practice with regular
chicks (and never get serious with them)
good to have some HB - FB's (lots of s.x anyway)
and sharpen my skills... till it becomes convenient to
settle down then I'll search for a Japanese Gal.

Dee-Zy - My advice is move somewhere else,and maybe try
somekind of sport like rockclimbing (no fatties there)
and keep your standards,I see nothing wrong there.
and Lastly,Don't forget that you can use the decent
looking chicas for practice even if your aiming for HB 8-9s...

I'm still stuck here for another year (School)

 

[Hot Ice]

Whoa!
I used to be like this...
I could count attractive girls with just my right hand.

I think this is beacause of school.
You really get bored when you see all the same faces year around.
Then you pick few girls that are good to look at.

It is very easy for the shy guy inside you to tell you "She is not hot enough" and you will believe it without thinking.

The shy guy theory is also interesting.
One girl said me quite a time ago that she always thought I was shy. I've never felt I was shy, but maybe I had some shy behaviour. Like picking girls.

Now, I don't still want a girl who don't attract me, but 'suddenly' there are little more girls I'm attracted to. It's maybe because I've killed that shy AFC inside me.


BTW. Dee-Zy, how old are you?
I mean you've been to parties and clubs for variety and don't talk just about girls from your school?

 

[bob2007]

I especially question your " won't date a women even a year younger".

I believe that the majority of women look for older men.

 

[Frosty]

Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome: How to Stop Being Shy Without Becoming A Jerk

Actually, I believe the name of the is Making The Connection. I read it about 10-11 yeasr ago but it did help change me from the guy who said little to basically starting up conversations with anyone, from the female with the hot body at the club to the old lady waiting in the grocery line. The book is superfluous if you are already studying the bible.