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Am I doing something wrong here?

BPH

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I don't really have a better name for the thread where I describe this problem so this will have to do...

So I'm 28 and my favorite place to go out on weekends is this nearby college bar. I'm friends with a lot of the staff and managers and the only thing I ever really pay for when I go out here is the parking.

My other options for places to go out to like Philly or Ocean City are expensive, far away, or both. So usually I default to this spot. Plus, seeing as it's a college bar, there's a pretty steady stream of new hot girls.

Lately, I've been running into a problem where when I tell girls I don't go to school here and they ask my age it usually ends up being a dealbreaker for them and I'm not sure where that's coming from.

Even last night I told this girl how old I was, ended up going home and sleeping with her, and in the morning when she was asking me more about myself and didn't recall my age she didn't seem happy with my answer and said how I'm too old for her. When I went to leave I went to kiss her goodbye and she turned and gave me her cheek...and we were making out in bed and she was cuddled on me and s*** until she found out my age.

So maybe somebody can explain this to me because I often see younger girls dating slightly older guys but now I'm seeing the opposite take place. I dress in well-fitted clothes, I'm in great shape, and keep myself nicely groomed, and most of the time these girls try to guess my age the answers I usually hear are 24-26. But for some reason, the phrase "I'm 28" has killed some of my conversations with these chicks and I'm not sure why.

My best guess is that they might find it weird that I'm several years out of college and still going to a college bar, but beyond that, I don't get it so hopefully somebody can weigh in here.
 

Plinco

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The first thing that comes to mind is that it might be the way you answer that question, like you admit to a crime by admitting that you are older.

Maybe women are being more conditioned to think that there is something wrong with dating older men. This girl found you attractive, yet the thought of you being 28 was a deal breaker. The only thing I can say to that is perhaps you need to take charge more and demand (and I don't mean autistically) your expectations are met or she can walk. Maybe frame her thought process in such a way to stroke her ego that she is dating someone that her parents and friends don't like.

I'd like to watch this thread for more replies.
 

Bethatsocialguy

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I don't really have a better name for the thread where I describe this problem so this will have to do...

So I'm 28 and my favorite place to go out on weekends is this nearby college bar. I'm friends with a lot of the staff and managers and the only thing I ever really pay for when I go out here is the parking.

My other options for places to go out to like Philly or Ocean City are expensive, far away, or both. So usually I default to this spot. Plus, seeing as it's a college bar, there's a pretty steady stream of new hot girls.

Lately, I've been running into a problem where when I tell girls I don't go to school here and they ask my age it usually ends up being a dealbreaker for them and I'm not sure where that's coming from.

Even last night I told this girl how old I was, ended up going home and sleeping with her, and in the morning when she was asking me more about myself and didn't recall my age she didn't seem happy with my answer and said how I'm too old for her. When I went to leave I went to kiss her goodbye and she turned and gave me her cheek...and we were making out in bed and she was cuddled on me and s*** until she found out my age.

So maybe somebody can explain this to me because I often see younger girls dating slightly older guys but now I'm seeing the opposite take place. I dress in well-fitted clothes, I'm in great shape, and keep myself nicely groomed, and most of the time these girls try to guess my age the answers I usually hear are 24-26. But for some reason, the phrase "I'm 28" has killed some of my conversations with these chicks and I'm not sure why.

My best guess is that they might find it weird that I'm several years out of college and still going to a college bar, but beyond that, I don't get it so hopefully somebody can weigh in here.
Your failing their **** tests by being in your head about it. They really don't give a **** about your age but I can guarantee that you either avoid the topic awkwardly or when they ask, you answer without confidence. If they say "you're old", you can just say "I prefer the word experienced". That's it. And then move on. If it is a real deal breaker, she will walk away. That hardly ever happens
 

Dr.Suave

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No, you are not doing anything wrong. You are older than them, if your age comes up, own it. Hell, maybe even agree & amplify.
 

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BPH

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Your failing their **** tests by being in your head about it. They really don't give a **** about your age but I can guarantee that you either avoid the topic awkwardly or when they ask, you answer without confidence. If they say "you're old", you can just say "I prefer the word experienced". That's it. And then move on. If it is a real deal breaker, she will walk away. That hardly ever happens
No, you are not doing anything wrong. You are older than them, if your age comes up, own it. Hell, maybe even agree & amplify.
Let's assume this is true, I'm not discounting that you may both be right. But then why did the girl I slept with and was literally making out with the morning after suddenly find that enough of a turn-off to give me her damn cheek?
 

Dr.Suave

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Let's assume this is true, I'm not discounting that you may both be right. But then why did the girl I slept with and was literally making out with the morning after suddenly find that enough of a turn-off to give me her damn cheek?
She´s been brainwashed by femin@zis into thinking it´s wrong to sleep with older men. Maybe it all comes down to that, social pressure. She was/is attracted to you.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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I remember this guy and this girl in my group were connecting and obviously going to hook up that night. As we are walking back to the bar he tells her that the is 32....She was 24 or 25 at the time and she immediately gets turned off and drops him on the spot haha.
 

BPH

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I remember this guy and this girl in my group were connecting and obviously going to hook up that night. As we are walking back to the bar he tells her that the is 32....She was 24 or 25 at the time and she immediately gets turned off and drops him on the spot haha.
This is what I'm talking about.

Why is this happening if everything else checks all the boxes?
 

Velasco

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BPH

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Never been a fan of lying, about anything. She either wants me or she doesn't, and if her dealbreaker is something stupid that's her problem.

I had 2 exes ask me my body count. Knowing it was much higher than theirs I used to ask whether I should lie, change the subject, answer vaguely, etc. I settled on just telling them what my actual count was in a very "take it or leave it" kind of way. Never had a problem.

Whether you decide to lie or not is up to you, but I still wonder WHY this is happening. All throughout middle school, high school, college, etc the hottest girls dated the older guys because the men their age aren't mature or whatever.

So now that I'm there, I'm wondering why it's a disadvantage rather than a positive.
 

Dr.Suave

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Lying about your age shouldn´t be that big of a deal is you are only in it for the lay. On the 1% chance that she´s girlfreind material, dont lie to her.
 

Pierce.Manhammer

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If a much younger woman asks my age I go overboard I usually say “72! Lets go to Dennys the senior discount is awesome”.

So to answer the OP question as to why he often sees younger girls with older men: chances are the guys are well above average in every way for their age group to start. They’re also much more experienced with women and can handle shyte tests like they’re nothing, and have a decent income, dress well, are more confident and don’t have the nervous energy younger guys often have. Additionally, women are creatures of comfort: for me given my income level, I’m usually at a 3+ star resort hotel in an upgraded suite, I eat and drink well and appreciate much finer things than my younger self did - why would a little HB choose to have sechs with a guy who doesn’t provide this experience and expects a bj or bang in the backseat of his Toyota? (If he even owns a car). That and frankly there is time and skill in the sack at play too.

queue the haters…
 
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BPH

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If a much younger woman asks my age I go overboard I usually say “72! Lets go to Dennys the senior discount is awesome”.

So to answer the OP question as to why he often sees younger girls with older men: chances are the guys are well above average in every way for their age group to start. They’re also much more experienced with women and can handle shyte tests like they’re nothing, and have a decent income, dress well, are more confident and don’t have the nervous energy younger guys often have. Additionally, women are creatures of comfort: for me given my income level, I’m usually at a 3+ star resort hotel in an upgraded suite, I eat and drink well and appreciate much finer things than my younger self did - why would a little HB choose to have sechs with a guy who doesn’t provide this experience and expects a bj or bang in the backseat of his Toyota? That and frankly there is time and skill in the sack at play too.

queue the haters…
Sure, but I'm just wondering why the actual number seems to matter so much all of a sudden. If all things are equal and you believe women think older men provide more comfort, shouldn't a slightly older man be more of a "positive" than a slightly younger man?

Because in both my and Jake's examples, these chicks are SUDDENLY cold and turned off to find the age gap is more than 2 or 3 years.
 

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Pierce.Manhammer

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Well the groupthink here would say that it’s because she had borderline interest anyway. As we know women are fickle, the difference between a bang and not is less than the diameter of cnut (sp) hair. That said, I bet if you’d had her in your G45 when you mentioned your age she wouldn’t have flaked.

Sure, but I'm just wondering why the actual number seems to matter so much all of a sudden. If all things are equal and you believe women think older men provide more comfort, shouldn't a slightly older man be more of a "positive" than a slightly younger man?

Because in both my and Jake's examples, these chicks are SUDDENLY cold and turned off to find the age gap is more than 2 or 3 years.
 

Modern Man Advice

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Let me start by saying that I can relate. Just recently this HB9 was all about our interaction (this was a girl invited by one of my friend's to a Halloween party), she kept asking what I did for a living to which I always hold back because of the nature and privacy of my company but also for my age to which I eluded the question instead of answering right away with confidence for some reason. And like @Plinco and @Bethatsocialguy I failed in that regard. When I did eventually answer it was like I was committing a crime and was self-conscious about my age. Needless to say, her vibe was night and day right after that. She literally went back to her friends and didn't direct a single word to me.

I should have done what @Dr.Suave said, own it, agree, and amplify. Would that have changed the outcome? I honestly do not know, but I would've at least felt good about it instead of self-conscious.

But this goes to show you it happens to the best of us. While you didn't do anything wrong per se, this proves we are all continuously learning, and adjusting how we interact with women.

Keep in mind, I am a pretty confident and assertive man, but at that moment I flinched. It happens. The important thing is to never make the same mistake twice.

So yeah, next time you get asked for your age: Own it, be proud of it, and amplify. Keep in mind, you can't win them all so leave room for rejection without reason. Don't focus on the outcome, focus on the fact that you are confident in who you are (including your age).


Modern Man Advice
 
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Bethatsocialguy

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Let's assume this is true, I'm not discounting that you may both be right. But then why did the girl I slept with and was literally making out with the morning after suddenly find that enough of a turn-off to give me her damn cheek?
Girls are emotional. Maybe giving a kiss first time in the morning was too boyf vibes. Maybe she felt you were a bit desperate so you going to her was too much in the morning. She may have needed time. LIke I said, women are emotional. You are overthinking. Just assume she likes you. Assume you are the big don and have that in your attitude. Did you pull your attention away from her when she did that? Did you just get on with your own things until she came to you?
 

BPH

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Girls are emotional. Maybe giving a kiss first time in the morning was too boyf vibes. Maybe she felt you were a bit desperate so you going to her was too much in the morning. She may have needed time. LIke I said, women are emotional. You are overthinking. Just assume she likes you. Assume you are the big don and have that in your attitude. Did you pull your attention away from her when she did that? Did you just get on with your own things until she came to you?
I was on my way out when I did that so I just continued on and left. Gave her my number, told her "text me if you want, if not it's cool" and haven't heard from her since - which is fine.

I think Modern Man Advice up there probably gave the best insight, but yeah it wasn't about maintaining a specific girl, but rather why conversations that are going well seem to immediately die once I mention that I'm 28 to these girls.
 

SW15

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Lying about your age shouldn´t be that big of a deal is you are only in it for the lay. On the 1% chance that she´s girlfreind material, dont lie to her.
Lying about your age might help you get a one night stand or short term casual sex but will kill any chance of an extended relationship.
 
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