After the cat's in the bag: Questions about the game after p/u & a tip.

[Charlie Neptune]

I've been gaming for sometime now.

I'm new to the forums and ready to dive deeper into the deep waters of human interaction.

I've been feeling confident lately. Strong, big-****ed as ever, and just plain arrogant. I'm meeting, laughing with, seducing, and bedding new beautiful women around New York City every week. Sometimes within 45 minutes!

They call me ****y, arrogant, ruthless, conceited, naughty. Everything their mothers would hate. They love me.

It's been blissful.

Male friends look up to me and ask me for advice. I speak to other men and they look at me astonished, "Where do you meet all these women?!" As if they don't also live in the biggest city in the country as well!! GO OUTSIDE!

Alas, my machismo isn't lasting. At times I'm feeling shallow, out of control, lost.

I'm sure I have a lot to offer in terms of pick-up. It has improved my life a great deal and I have many beautiful women in my life. I feel I can always get more. Many have become wonderful friends and companions. It's just natural now.

So....after many successful p/u's I have a new question. Now what??

I just seem to go from woman to woman. I have no problems approaching them, talking with them, making them laugh, kissing them, sleeping with them. No fear. No issues. But, afterwards I seem to keep losing them.

I'm generally very friendly and nice. I don't give them any pressure and never give them crap for flaking. I think I just make myself a little too available and nice when I start to take a liking to one.

Here's my latest example (with a common speech I've been hearing from women):

I meet a new cute one and decide not to call her for two weeks. We had become facebook friends. Two weeks later she sends me a message. I meet her for drinks with her friend. We hang and have fun. I mock and tease them and laugh my ass off.

I arrange a future meeting.

I go over to her place for drinks and a baseball game. I pull my usual thumb-wrestling and hot-hands game to begin some physical connection and play. I kiss her. Things progress. Here's where I get THE SPEECH. This has become common in my travels. Here's how to deal with it should you get this:

Girl: (After kissing and grinding over clothes has commenced) Sooooooo.....I don't know what you're looking for. I'm just not looking for anything serious. I don't know if we should really do this.

The Man: Do what?

Girl: Well, sleep together. I'm not really looking for a relationship. i don't know what you're expecting.

The Man: I'm not expecting anything. I don't know why you're bringing this up.

Girl: (A little surprised by your indifference) Oh, well. Ok, as long as you are ok with seeing other people. I just don't want to jump into anything serious.

The Man: Ya, who isn't dating around? I'm seeing a few girls. (Always very important to make that statement. Women love men that other women want.) You think too much. Did you plan this speech?

They will usually laugh at this point and find you to be very ****y, but sexy. It's now that I have immediately slept with every woman who has given me this speech.

Now after this point I just have cracks in my armour. I spend the night with her and things were great. She's a cool girl and we share a lot of common interests. I like her. I still have others, but this one I like better.

She invites me over a holiday weekend. I stay over Saturday night. We hang out on Sunday with her friends and we have a great time. Monday we wind up going to a bbq with her friends and spending part of that day together. We get along great. I don't act sexual or boyfriendish in front of her friends. I just hang out joke around with everyone.

We decide to hang later in the week. I don't contact her for 4 days. I send her a what's up text and ask her if she's down to hang over the weekend. She says whats up, she's doing well, and asks how I am doing. I respond and asked (again) what's up for the weekend. She hasnt responded for over 24 hours.

Now, I'm not being hastey and getting nervous already. Distance and keeping it cool is fine. I know she had plans with friends and maybe she may have a date. That's fine.

I'm realizing I'm doing something wrong.

I should not have asked twice when shes around. I sound needy. I should have told her I am around at a certain point over the weekend and invited her out. I was not leading or being assertive. I don't think I am too late to maintain my position as a cool and attractive guy to her. I just have to nip it in the bud now! I was more mysterious and my own man. Now I'm hanging around too much.

How should have I acted here?
What would you have said after the 4 day lay off?
What would you do should you not hear from her for several days?
How should one act once you become intimate with a woman?
Should I maintain the same game I had when trying to attain her?

Thanks all!!

-Charlie Neptune
Intergalactic purveyor of funk

 

[horaholic]

You should post this at RSD. Sosuave probably isnt the right place for your kind of 'problems.'

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

I meet her for drinks with her friend.

This took some distillation, but I think I'm at the root cause.

Although Tomassi's iron rules have more to do with relationships than dating and pick ups....this one is an iron rule:

NEVER meet up with her and her friends early on. The dating should involve just you and her until you've established high interest level.

I've learned this one the hard way.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Charlie,

It doesn't sound to me that you're doing anything wrong principly.

I am wondering though, to what extent are you occupying yourself with your personal interests, hobby's, career and your future when you're not seeing women? Doing so in a big way is quite important in keeping out those feelings of caring more than you should about a specific individual - no matter how well you two get along.

Never make someone the focus of your life. Never ever, no matter how innocent and good it may seem.

Maybe you should focus more on your own things. Nowehere do I see you mentioning this in your story and maybe that's your issue. Maybe that's why you feel empty, out of control and lost on occassion. If you have only women and the game as your focus, ya, that's not much. Someone who is busy with either women or himself all the time, doesn't have the time or space to feel empty and is probably happy because he does a variety of things that bring him a variety of joy.

This also helps being more of a mystery and being "your own man". Busy people don't have time to hang around (because it's bums that do).

Oh, and the "common speech" you're getting could be the result of women meeting more and more men who adopt a more feminine style these days: when you sleep with someone you're suddenly "together". *gasp*

AFCs, in other words.

What Andy says about not meeting up with her friends until there's a very high interest level is also true. Don't meet up with her AND her friends before you've seen her regularly and consistently for several months first. This negates, amongst other things, the Friend Approval factor, which is a type of social pressure (she must like you enough for her friends to be unable to negatively influence her like for you). Of course, your mileage may vary on the amount of time needed for that, but on the second occassion is always too quick. I'm not saying that you doing this so early on hurt your chances, just be more prudent next time.

You're busy with your own life and/or friends first. She and her friends are/should be of a low priority.

 

[guru1000]

Low Interest.

An unreturned call was her covert dismissal. Your cue to move on was when she stated no relationship but gave up the goods. This girl lacks the quality to spin or date exclusively.

Be selective of your harem to avoid these problems in the future.