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Absorbing the Loss of a "Good Woman" is how you get Redpilled

Pan87

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I have written below my most valuable lesson in the Game and what seems to happen to all DJ's sooner or later.

There's a popular concept in PUA/Redpill that women are AWALT, without any exceptions.

However, life tells a different story for most of us DJs. You eventually come across a girl who is different from all the rest. You want to keep her because you objectively note her high value and the way she makes you feel (mind blowing sex, great company, chemistry, great shared experiences/memories, intellectual/spiritual/emotional connection etc).

This Good Woman comes into your life. You didn't necessarily plan on it. You were just doing your own thing, spinning plates and leading a free existence.

Months go by and you realise you've been spending a lot of time with this One girl. She has made it so easy for you. She arrives at your door every day with her eyes sparkling. She is besotted with you. Your other plates start to dissolve into the background and you fall into a bubble with your "good woman" - you enter co-dependency and Oneitis. You don't even notice it at first. It's usually a slow process to reach a point of "needing" her in your life. This happens through spending all of your time with her and isolating yourself from your options. You are now in scarcity. You have naively fallen under the feminine spell of your Good Woman.

Because you're a player and you know you could bang other women, you may feel frustrated from time-to-time that this "good woman", through her feminine magic, has isolated you from your options. However, you accept the isolation because you have fallen in love with her and the thought and fear of losing her eventually eclipses your will to act on your desires for other women. You have allowed this isolation to take place because nearly all men have one fatal weakness - an addiction to feminine affection that far exceeds our addiction to sex. The love and devotion of a Good Woman is the most powerful feeling a man can experience. You become her superhero and she worships you, you become her God.

Soon, you begin to notice this Oneitis is weakening you. You feel lazy and complacent, intoxicated by your woman like a junkie languishing in an opium den. You begin to make concessions to your woman. She has pacified you. To regain power and your sense of self you may temporarily act on your desires for variety and cheat with other women. All this does is serve to remind you of how special your Oneitis is. You go back to her, after cheating, feeling even more affection and love. She is none the wiser and is she is also intoxicated by your subliminal indecisiveness. You are her caged animal. She senses it. She doesn't fully own your soul yet, but she will soon.

She slowly but surely dissolves your masculine fortress and she becomes a part of you. A part of your identity. You are in serious trouble now. You can't leave her. You need her. She has become essential to your world.

You project your Oneitis onto her and assume, naturally, that she has Oneitis for you too. This is where the unravelling begins. The balance of power begins to subtly shift. She senses that you "need" her. Her subconscious starts to question your true worth - "Why does this man need me? I'm just a little girl, lost and scared, and this man is relying on me for his validation. He is so nice to me. Why??"

She begins to subtly sh!t test you. Little things like passive non-compliance. You fail a few of these tests. You lose your temper with her. She then starts to sh!t test more, desperate to see if you are a man who doesn't react to her feminine capriciousness. After failing more tests, she begins to build a new subconscious image of you. You are now a weak man in her eyes.

Then the distancing starts. A woman's true power comes from the giving and withdrawal of affection. It will be subtle at first. She will begin to express desires to do things outside of the relationship. She's no longer fulfilled by your presence in her life alone. The challenge of taming the savage bull is gone because you are always there and she senses your devotion to her. You are no longer her bull.

During the distancing process she may ask to go travelling somewhere, to go out on the town, to visit new places, to build more friendship circles. Alongside this, she will start to criticise you subtly, then openly. Little things at first. It might be as simple as telling you to take your shoes off at the front door (little compliance tests). She will start engaging less with your opinions and points of view. She will start questioning your masculine opinions and expressing scepticism. She has started to rebel against you and lose faith in your leadership.

Her admiration for you as a man is starting to fall.

If you are a good lover, then you can confuse this process for her because the sex is still great. You can make her come easily. She loves your sex, but her emotional/ intellectual connection to you is waning alongside of this. Great sex is an excellent bonding tool, but it is not enough if your woman also senses that you've fallen deeply in love with her. Her hindbrain can't be satisfied with this display of weakness and neediness. She senses your misguided male idealised Love and your failure to recognise her hypergamous, opportunistic feminine Love. She only loved you because she saw you as Above Her. She now feels she is your equal, or better than you. She can't control her inner disgust as this becomes realised. How can you be her best option if you need her so much? This must mean she can do better, and she starts to see the green grass on the other side of the fence. A rich, emerald sparkling shade of green. Your relationship has become a muddy paddock.

When your relationship has entered this dynamic where she KNOWS you love her idealistically, then the relationship is fragile. You may be able to maintain this dynamic for years, but your relationship is terminally vulnerable to outside influences:

- She meets an alpha at work who gives her tingles.
- Her single friends start to tempt her towards "muhhhh freedom" and "YOLO Independent Womanhood".
- She starts building a life and support networks away from you (this will become her go-to when she leaves you).
- She starts spending nights with friends, family. She has stopped mate guarding you. You find yourself at home, while she is out. You begin to wonder what she's up to and waiting for her call.

Then, one day, a fight happens. You are frustrated with her rebellion. She's not the woman she used to be anymore. You make a power move and try to pull her into line - maybe you even instigate a fake break-up to scare her. She goes to her friends and tells them what a controlling and abusive boyfriend you are. They empower her to block you and cut you off. This was too easy for her.

The woman and the relationship that you've invested months and years in is gone in the blink of an eye. Seemingly overnight she has flicked her mental switch and has re-written you as a Nobody. Briffault's Law comes into play - your only value is how you're making your woman feel in that moment. Your history together and your past investment in her is not taken into consideration. She is a creature of "The Moment." No history, only the Now. Women are slaves to their present emotional state.

You are shocked by her strength and her ice coldness. She withdraws and disappears. Often she will be unreachable - either she's blocked you on all devices, or she is unresponsive to your calls and messages. Maybe she will communicate with you, but she's cold as a corpse. Your attempts at re-attraction fail dismally and your self esteem plummets. This was a woman who was once your Love Slave, and now she won't even talk to you. This is the hardest experience a proud man will ever face.

Some men never recover from this ego-shattering experience. Your mind tortures you with imagined scenarios of how you could have acted differently. With the benefit of hindsight, you see the relationship's decline with clearer eyes (something your proud ego was previously preventing you from seeing while you still had her - "She'll never leave me").

The dreaded "If Only" - If only you'd intervened earlier when she started distancing. If only you'd followed the rules and distanced even more when she began the distancing process. Why did you pursue her and try to negotiate attraction like a needy beta? You know better than this! How could you have been so stupid? You KNEW the rules, but you were lost in Oneitis and you thought the rules didn't apply to you - "This girl is different"-Syndrome.

You live with the regret. You broke the rules of attraction. You lost her. This is the archetypal story of Man in his journey of Idealised Love and Oneitis. This the the darkest shade of the Redpill.
 
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TheFinalLine

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This is a pretty good description. It is inevitable. Yes. AWALT.
The man’s biology supports this in this age.

The disassembly of a man. Not on purpose unless you consider the natural order as evil. You did forget one thing. A medical fact that his testosterone goes down.
 

Pan87

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This is a pretty good description. It is inevitable. Yes. AWALT.
The man’s biology supports this in this age.

The disassembly of a man. Not on purpose unless you consider the natural order as evil. You did forget one thing. A medical fact that his testosterone goes down.
Falling testosterone is the chemical effect that leads to comfort, laziness and complacency in a relationship. It's like being stoned.
 

TheFinalLine

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Falling testosterone is the chemical effect that leads to comfort, laziness and complacency in a relationship. It's like being stoned.
Now you know that many men here will not have any reality on this, right? They will have a cursory, vague understanding with little significance to it.

Too bad it won’t get enough traction. These guys will think they can circumvent this with enough work and lots of thinking. Some can’t even get over a silly girlfriend. Walking around like they’ve been hurt or damaged.
 

metalwater

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Test is really important to the body and mind. That "grrrrrr" is the core. If we have a younger girl, we have to keep the grrrr. Watch what happens when a dog is in heat, I mean watch the HEALTHY male dogs. As test falls, we will think about much and not do much. As test rises, we will do much and not question enough but will be alive. Fix it naturally if you can, if you can not, fix it anyway. It is the biggest gift we can give ourselves. The changes can be profound.

I currently don't think a feminine woman can be or will stay with a low test man; because he is not sexual and she needs that. Or he is cucked. I think no exceptions, the ones we think are exceptions are because we don't know.
 

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Mauser96

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This is an excellent post. Needs to be read two or three times to really let it sink in.
 

daproest1

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Excellent post. It happened to me, but not like that. I never submitted to her or got lazy. The other extreme actually. If anything, it got to the point where I completely didn’t care about the relationship ship and just focused on me. “She’d never leave, if anything I’ll leave” definitely did cross my mind, more than once. When she started pushing. Great post. Life is sad lol
 

Kotaix

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This is coming from someone whose parents have been married for almost 50 years now and are very happy together.

On this path that you describe, there has to be a point at which you can actually branch off to live with a person that is truly compatible with you. Your scenario has only one way, down. And there are a small but decent number of relationships out there who don't go thru this.

Whenever this happens, the man has allowed himself to become a pvssy. He was too chicken to quit on an incompatible woman, or he gave in to her emotional outbursts, which is female behavior.

Most modern men are thoroughly pussified. You must always be able to put your foot down and be a stubborn mule. Stand by your principles, not the rules or groupthink.

It is possible to have a successful and rewarding relationship with a woman who will have your back, no matter the cost.
 

Pan87

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This is coming from someone whose parents have been married for almost 50 years now and are very happy together.

On this path that you describe, there has to be a point at which you can actually branch off to live with a person that is truly compatible with you. Your scenario has only one way, down. And there are a small but decent number of relationships out there who don't go thru this.

Whenever this happens, the man has allowed himself to become a pvssy. He was too chicken to quit on an incompatible woman, or he gave in to her emotional outbursts, which is female behavior.

Most modern men are thoroughly pussified. You must always be able to put your foot down and be a stubborn mule. Stand by your principles, not the rules or groupthink.

It is possible to have a successful and rewarding relationship with a woman who will have your back, no matter the cost.
Presumably your parents are in their 80's-90's. Different generation.

We live in the Social Media solipsism pump and surrogate daddy government Age of Woman. The pool of successful, long-term LTR's is dwindling.
 

daproest1

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Presumably your parents are in their 80's-90's. Different generation.

We live in the Social Media solipsism pump and surrogate daddy government Age of Woman. The pool of successful, long-term LTR's is dwindling.
Yeah. It’s almost pointless now. The few good ones left are either USUALLY overweight, or ugly. The saying is true. Women are only as loyal as their options.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I have written below my most valuable lesson in the Game and what seems to happen to all DJ's sooner or later.

There's a popular concept in PUA/Redpill that women are AWALT, without any exceptions.

However, life tells a different story for most of us DJs. You eventually come across a girl who is different from all the rest. You want to keep her because you objectively note her high value and the way she makes you feel (mind blowing sex, great company, chemistry, great shared experiences/memories, intellectual/spiritual/emotional connection etc).

This Good Woman comes into your life. You didn't necessarily plan on it. You were just doing your own thing, spinning plates and leading a free existence.

Months go by and you realise you've been spending a lot of time with this One girl. She has made it so easy for you. She arrives at your door every day with her eyes sparkling. She is besotted with you. Your other plates start to dissolve into the background and you fall into a bubble with your "good woman" - you enter co-dependency and Oneitis. You don't even notice it at first. It's usually a slow process to reach a point of "needing" her in your life. This happens through spending all of your time with her and isolating yourself from your options. You are now in scarcity. You have naively fallen under the feminine spell of your Good Woman.

Because you're a player and you know you could bang other women, you may feel frustrated from time-to-time that this "good woman", through her feminine magic, has isolated you from your options. However, you accept the isolation because you have fallen in love with her and the thought and fear of losing her eventually eclipses your will to act on your desires for other women. You have allowed this isolation to take place because nearly all men have one fatal weakness - an addiction to feminine affection that far exceeds our addiction to sex. The love and devotion of a Good Woman is the most powerful feeling a man can experience. You become her superhero and she worships you, you become her God.

Soon, you begin to notice this Oneitis is weakening you. You feel lazy and complacent, intoxicated by your woman like a junkie languishing in an opium den. You begin to make concessions to your woman. She has pacified you. To regain power and your sense of self you may temporarily act on your desires for variety and cheat with other women. All this does is serve to remind you of how special your Oneitis is. You go back to her, after cheating, feeling even more affection and love. She is none the wiser and is she is also intoxicated by your subliminal indecisiveness. You are her caged animal. She senses it. She doesn't fully own your soul yet, but she will soon.

She slowly but surely dissolves your masculine fortress and she becomes a part of you. A part of your identity. You are in serious trouble now. You can't leave her. You need her. She has become essential to your world.

You project your Oneitis onto her and assume, naturally, that she has Oneitis for you too. This is where the unravelling begins. The balance of power begins to subtly shift. She senses that you "need" her. Her subconscious starts to question your true worth - "Why does this man need me? I'm just a little girl, lost and scared, and this man is relying on me for his validation. He is so nice to me. Why??"

She begins to subtly sh!t test you. Little things like passive non-compliance. You fail a few of these tests. You lose your temper with her. She then starts to sh!t test more, desperate to see if you are a man who doesn't react to her feminine capriciousness. After failing more tests, she begins to build a new subconscious image of you. You are now a weak man in her eyes.

Then the distancing starts. A woman's true power comes from the giving and withdrawal of affection. It will be subtle at first. She will begin to express desires to do things outside of the relationship. She's no longer fulfilled by your presence in her life alone. The challenge of taming the savage bull is gone because you are always there and she senses your devotion to her. You are no longer her bull.

During the distancing process she may ask to go travelling somewhere, to go out on the town, to visit new places, to build more friendship circles. Alongside this, she will start to criticise you subtly, then openly. Little things at first. It might be as simple as telling you to take your shoes off at the front door (little compliance tests). She will start engaging less with your opinions and points of view. She will start questioning your masculine opinions and expressing scepticism. She has started to rebel against you and lose faith in your leadership.

Her admiration for you as a man is starting to fall.

If you are a good lover, then you can confuse this process for her because the sex is still great. You can make her come easily. She loves your sex, but her emotional/ intellectual connection to you is waning alongside of this. Great sex is an excellent bonding tool, but it is not enough if your woman also senses that you've fallen deeply in love with her. Her hindbrain can't be satisfied with this display of weakness and neediness. She senses your misguided male idealised Love and your failure to recognise her hypergamous, opportunistic feminine Love. She only loved you because she saw you as Above Her. She now feels she is your equal, or better than you. She can't control her inner disgust as this becomes realised. How can you be her best option if you need her so much? This must mean she can do better, and she starts to see the green grass on the other side of the fence. A rich, emerald sparkling shade of green. Your relationship has become a muddy paddock.

When your relationship has entered this dynamic where she KNOWS you love her idealistically, then the relationship is fragile. You may be able to maintain this dynamic for years, but your relationship is terminally vulnerable to outside influences:

- She meets an alpha at work who gives her tingles.
- Her single friends start to tempt her towards "muhhhh freedom" and "YOLO Independent Womanhood".
- She starts building a life and support networks away from you (this will become her go-to when she leaves you).
- She starts spending nights with friends, family. She has stopped mate guarding you. You find yourself at home, while she is out. You begin to wonder what she's up to and waiting for her call.

Then, one day, a fight happens. You are frustrated with her rebellion. She's not the woman she used to be anymore. You make a power move and try to pull her into line - maybe you even instigate a fake break-up to scare her. She goes to her friends and tells them what a controlling and abusive boyfriend you are. They empower her to block you and cut you off. This was too easy for her.

The woman and the relationship that you've invested months and years in is gone in the blink of an eye. Seemingly overnight she has flicked her mental switch and has re-written you as a Nobody. Briffault's Law comes into play - your only value is how you're making your woman feel in that moment. Your history together and your past investment in her is not taken into consideration. She is a creature of "The Moment." No history, only the Now. Women are slaves to their present emotional state.

You are shocked by her strength and her ice coldness. She withdraws and disappears. Often she will be unreachable - either she's blocked you on all devices, or she is unresponsive to your calls and messages. Maybe she will communicate with you, but she's cold as a corpse. Your attempts at re-attraction fail dismally and your self esteem plummets. This was a woman who was once your Love Slave, and now she won't even talk to you. This is the hardest experience a proud man will ever face.

Some men never recover from this ego-shattering experience. Your mind tortures you with imagined scenarios of how you could have acted differently. With the benefit of hindsight, you see the relationship's decline with clearer eyes (something your proud ego was previously preventing you from seeing while you still had her - "She'll never leave me").

The dreaded "If Only" - If only you'd intervened earlier when she started distancing. If only you'd followed the rules and distanced even more when she began the distancing process. Why did you pursue her and try to negotiate attraction like a needy beta? You know better than this! How could you have been so stupid? You KNEW the rules, but you were lost in Oneitis and you thought the rules didn't apply to you - "This girl is different"-Syndrome.

You live with the regret. You broke the rules of attraction. You lost her. This is the archetypal story of Man in his journey of Idealised Love and Oneitis. This the the darkest shade of the Redpill.
It's called delusional. There are no good women. ALWALT and are capable of acting as such. The delusional perspective is in complete contrast to the reality that is. That being, women **** off to 1. The other guy or 2. Be single ie slut out.

You fell in love with a hologram. It's not real. You are still digesting the red pill.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I think due to the nature of women and our lays that cater, the idea of forever is fools gold. The notion rooshv put out ages ago holds here in the world. The sec she pulls away, you got a push away. I'm mirror her right back.

Willingness to walk is GOAT STATUS. it's why any married dating coaches are a sham. They cannot walk. Not without divorce rape.
 

TheFinalLine

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it's why any married dating coaches are a sham. They cannot walk. Not without divorce rape.
There is truth in this. Continuing to invest is a deadly sword. That’s what they teach. Somehow circumvent or work around.

How to find your ideal girl. There is no ideal woman. It is fiction. Learning to create your life should be what they teach. Not how to get along.

Just reading time as in books to circumvent the world and how it works is investment. All those hours reading and trying right? Sinks you even lower.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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There is truth in this. Continuing to invest is a deadly sword. That’s what they teach. Somehow circumvent or work around.

How to find your ideal girl. There is no ideal woman. It is fiction. Learning to create your life should be what they teach. Not how to get along.

Just reading time as in books to circumvent the world and how it works is investment. All those hours reading and trying right? Sinks you even lower.
My annoyance is with Rollo or others. Attack rsd who spent decades with guys, free tour and other events. Infield and receipts like them or hate them. We have trp fap about buy my book and calls outs. No receipts.

I don't dispute Rm. The content is good. It's just ridiculous that guys who don't compete in the modern era world of dating and sex are going to give advice on how to execute today?

Gtfo. It's disingenuous to insinuate buy my book and everything will be ok. Everything is a con but shill trp.


Think for yourself. Personally I got more receipts from approaching then trp fap. Approaching will black pill you. You see female nature as it is. No exceptions.

There's no room for concessions. The body count thread is a example of guys making concessions if aesthetic. She has to have a pulse being the benchmark and prerequisite.

Not shocking so many guys fail.
 

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Lynx nkaf

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My annoyance is with Rollo or others. Attack rsd who spent decades with guys, free tour and other events. Infield and receipts like them or hate them. We have trp fap about buy my book and calls outs. No receipts.

I don't dispute Rm. The content is good. It's just ridiculous that guys who don't compete in the modern era world of dating and sex are going to give advice on how to execute today?

Gtfo. It's disingenuous to insinuate buy my book and everything will be ok. Everything is a con but shill trp.


Think for yourself. Personally I got more receipts from approaching then trp fap. Approaching will black pill you. You see female nature as it is. No exceptions.

There's no room for concessions. The body count thread is a example of guys making concessions if aesthetic. She has to have a pulse being the benchmark and prerequisite.

Not shocking so many guys fail.
I'm learning alot from rsd speakers.....that's a goldmine for me in terms of selfdevelopment.
Thank you sincerely again.
 

BeExcellent

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In a healthy long lasting relationship like the one @Kotaix mentions both partners sublimate the interdependence of the relationship above individual priorities. To do this requires absolute mutual trust in the other person, trust that the result of placing the relationship above the individual will mean the relationship meets individual needs for love, sex, affection & companionship etc. for both partners and will bond the two partners together such that conflicts can be resolved and there is an organization within the relationship...a hierarchy. With the man in the leadership role. It produces security, loyalty and deep intimacy for both partners.

It takes a level of maturity and/or reckless idealism to be able to foster this kind of bond. Once jadedness sets in for an individual it becomes very difficult on a conceptual level to imagine such a relationship is possible, and further to disbelieve when you actually bear witness to such a relationship because they do, in fact exist, even in today’s world.

But you will never have such a relationship if you do not believe they are possible...nor can you have such a relationship if you cannot be someone capable of being a partner in such a relationship.

I read comments around here & can get a pretty good idea who is and isn’t prepared to experience such a union. The men who subscribe too strongly to the “there are no good women, AWALT” stance are not the men for whom this type of union is available.

Rather these are men whose self fulfilling prophecy of the feminine imperative/AWALT etc will be their lot in life...a result of lack of vision rather than growth and personal expansion toward meaningful possibilities.

Chew on that.

Just because something hasn’t been your personal reality doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist...
 

TheFinalLine

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In a healthy long lasting relationship like the one @Kotaix mentions both partners sublimate the interdependence of the relationship above individual priorities. To do this requires absolute mutual trust in the other person, trust that the result of placing the relationship above the individual will mean the relationship meets individual needs for love, sex, affection & companionship etc. for both partners and will bond the two partners together such that conflicts can be resolved and there is an organization within the relationship...a hierarchy. With the man in the leadership role. It produces security, loyalty and deep intimacy for both partners.

It takes a level of maturity and/or reckless idealism to be able to foster this kind of bond. Once jadedness sets in for an individual it becomes very difficult on a conceptual level to imagine such a relationship is possible, and further to disbelieve when you actually bear witness to such a relationship because they do, in fact exist, even in today’s world.

But you will never have such a relationship if you do not believe they are possible...nor can you have such a relationship if you cannot be someone capable of being a partner in such a relationship.

I read comments around here & can get a pretty good idea who is and isn’t prepared to experience such a union. The men who subscribe too strongly to the “there are no good women, AWALT” stance are not the men for whom this type of union is available.

Rather these are men whose self fulfilling prophecy of the feminine imperative/AWALT etc will be their lot in life...a result of lack of vision rather than growth and personal expansion toward meaningful possibilities.

Chew on that.

Just because something hasn’t been your personal reality doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist...
Oh my. Don’t listen to this.
 

BeExcellent

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Oh my. Don’t listen to this.
People here are smart enough to figure things out. I will eventually be in this type of partnership. It’s what I screen for actually.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a meaningful partnership and many people aspire to such a thing, men and women.

But those who are too jaded? They cannot bond this way...and unless they evolve and heal themselves then it’s not going to be possible...not for them.

Cheers
 

TheFinalLine

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People here are smart enough to figure things out. I will eventually be in this type of partnership. It’s what I screen for actually.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a meaningful partnership and many people aspire to such a thing, men and women.

But those who are too jaded? They cannot bond this way...and unless they evolve and heal themselves then it’s not going to be possible...not for them.

Cheers
Oh I’m not jaded. It’s the certain premises that, in themselves are non existent in the world. And is based on an ideal seen that are fundamentally flawed.
But I like the ideas in some respects. I just don’t think it’s beneficial for men to start pursuing Ms. Right. There are ways to do these things in a way that can make it happen but women as a whole are seriously corrupted. I don’t blame them at all. But they need serious duress to alter their survival impetus.

In no way do I believe in punishing them. They aren’t aware of their degraded existence than a parrot knows what he’s saying. She’s just trying to survive in a mud puddle of her own creation.
 
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